My mother stares me down with full self-assurance, and more than a little scorn. âI am alone because I choose to be. I donât have the need to be with someone; Iâm not like you.â
âLike me! I donât need to be with anyone! You basically forced me to be with NoahâI never felt like I had a choice in anything! You have always controlled meâand I am done. I am fucking done!â The tears erupt from me then.
My mother quirks her lips, like sheâs considering something in earnest, but her voice is full of sarcasm. âItâs obvious that you have some codependency issues. Is this because of your father?â
My eyes sore, surely bloodshot, and filled with every evil I want to inflict on her, I stare at her. Speaking slowly at first, I feel myself frantically escalating as I say, âI hate you. I really hate you. Youâre the reason he left. Because he couldnât stand you! And I donât blame himâin fact, I wish he would have takenââ
And right then I feel Hardinâs hand clamp over my mouth and his strong arms pull me back against his chest.
Chapter thirty-nine
HARDIN
The whole time, I had just been thinking that her mum better not slap her again. I hadnât really considered Tessa going on the offensive like this.
Her face is red, and her tears are pouring down my hand.
Why does her mum always have to ruin shit? I canât blame her for being angry, regardless of how much I hate her. I did hurt Tessa. But I donât think I ruined her.
Have I?
I donât know what to do. I glance at my mum for helpâthe look she gives me lets me know that she hates me. I didnât want her to know what I did to Tess. I knew it would kill her, especially after what happened before.
But Iâm not the same person I was then. This is totally different.
I love Tessa.
Through all the chaos I caused, I found love.
Tessa screams into my hand and tries to push me off of her, but she isnât strong enough. I know one of two things will happen if I donât keep her away: either her mum will slap her and Iâll have to intervene, or Tessa will say something sheâll regret forever. âI think you need to go now,â I say to her mother.
Tessa is throwing a fit beneath my grip and keeps kicking her feet into my shins.
Itâs always so unsettling to see her angryâespecially this angryâalthough part of me is selfishly pleased that her anger isnât directed at me this time.
It will be soon . . .
I know her mother is right about me: I am terrible for her. Iâm not the man Tessa thinks I am, but I love her too much to let her leave me again. I just got her back, and I will not lose her again. I just hope that sheâll listen to me, listen to the entire story. Even then, I donât think it will matter. I know itâs coming; thereâs no way sheâll stay with me once she hears it. Fuck, why did my mum have to say anything?
I lead Tessa toward the bedroom. As we go, she twists so hard she spins us both around, so weâre facing her mom again. With one last hateful glare, she makes her point and lunges, but I hold tight.
Pulling her into our room, I let go and quickly slam the door and lock it.
And she turns her poisonous glare at me. âWhy did you do that! Youââ
âBecause youâre saying things you know youâll regret.â
âWhy did you do that!â she yells. âWhy did you stop me! I have so much shit to say to that bitch, itâs not even . . . I canât even . . . !â She pushes her hands against my chest.
âHey . . . hey . . . calm down,â I say, trying to remember that sheâs displacing her anger at her mother toward me; I know she is.
I bring her face between my hands and gently move my thumbs across her cheekbones, making sure she keeps eye contact with me as her breathing slows. âJust calm down, baby,â I repeat.
The redness disappears from her cheeks, and she nods slowly.
âIâm going to make sure she leaves, okay?â I say so low that itâs almost a whisper.
She nods again and moves to sit on the bed. âHurry up,â she demands as I leave the room.
When I walk into the living room, Tessaâs mother is there alone, pacing. She looks up at me sharply, like a jungle cat sensing prey. âWhere is she?â she asks.
âSheâs not coming out. You are leaving, and youâre not going to come back here. I mean it,â I say through my teeth.
She raises an eyebrow. âAre you threatening me?â
âYou can take it however you want, but you need to stay away from her.â
This manicured woman, so put together and prim-looking, gives me a sly, hard look that Iâve only ever seen from people like those in Jaceâs crew. âThis is all your fault,â she says calmly. âYou have brainwashed her; she doesnât think for herself anymore. I know what you are doing. Iâve been with men like you. I knew you were trouble since the day I laid eyes on you. I should have had Tessa change rooms and prevented all of this. No man is going to want her after this . . . after you. Look at you.â She waves her hand in the air and turns toward the door.
I follow her out into the hallway. âThatâs the point, isnât it? That no man will want her, no man but me. Sheâll never be with anyone but me,â I boast. âShe will always choose me over you, over anyone.â
She spins and takes a step toward me. âYou are the devil, and Iâm not going to just go away. She is my daughter, and sheâs too good for you.â
I nod my head several times quickly, then look at her flatly. âIâll make sure to remember that when Iâm burying myself into your daughter tonight.â