Kang Ichae finished the song.
A sweeping beat from the get-go, rooted in a low synthesizer, and a rich melody that stimulated the senses.
ââ¦Itâs really good.â
Even though all the members had listened to it dozens of times while recording the song that would be released a week earlier than the broadcast, they occasionally let out exclamations of admiration while dancing in the practice room.
Usually, Kang Ichae would respond with a sly retort or burst into a hearty laughter, but lately, his reactions had been flat.
ââ¦Itâs good that you like it?â
If he did bother to open his mouth, it was only to let out soulless words.
Despite the rush from working on the music to recording and submitting the final track, Kang Ichae still seemed unsatisfied with it.
Should I curse at Lim Hyeonsu or thank her?
The situation was definitely off, but she had managed to elevate an already high-level guy to celestial heights.
Eventually, intoxicated by the song, we decided to practice once more, continuing past dawn and not leaving the practice room until 6 pm, looking pale and limping.
âThis is really the best one yetâ¦â
âThe song?â
âBoth the song and the practiceâ¦â
In the middle, not only did Joo Woosung visit, but Han Chaeri also came once with a camera, and everyone had a curious expression.
I wasnât sure if that was a positive sign, but for now, we had to do our best.
It had been a few days since the fourth episode aired, and I hadnât had time to catch up on the reactions due to competition preparations, but I hoped to get a sense of our ranking.
âMy brainâs not workingâ¦â
ââ¦Letâs just sleep for three hours and come back.â
âOkayâ¦â
Pushing away Jeong Dajun, who clung to me, whining about being sleepy, I took out my phone.
ââ¦You guys go ahead.â
âHuh?â
âI need to stop by my place.â
âWhy? Is something wrong?â
The members stared at me in surprise.
Scrolling through my messages, I realized it had been months since I had a proper conversation with Seo Hojin, not just brief replies, and I felt a bit awkward.
âJust need to pick up some clothes.â
It wasnât like we contacted each other that often.
Thinking I might put it off again if I didnât act on the thought now, I decided to see him, even if just for a moment.
The members nodded in understanding as I left, pulling my hat down low and headed home for the first time in a while.
I wonder if that kidâs been eating properly.
I entered the familiar door lock code.
Ding, ding, ding⦠Drrring.
As I burst through the door, the house was eerily quiet.
âSeo Hojin.â
Seeing no response, I thought he must have gone out.
I glanced at our parentsâ photo next to the TV, took off my shoes, and went inside.
âSeo Hoââ
â âDo you know how it was last Friday?â
Just then, I heard voices coming from the master bedroom.
Heâs here.
It sounded like he was on speakerphone, as I could hear the entire conversation.
Deciding there was no need to interrupt, I went to the kitchen to check the fridge.
Heâs eating pretty well, the little rascal.
There was rice in the rice cooker and enough side dishes.
He had been taking good care of himself.
As I grabbed a drink and sat at the kitchen table, Seo Hojin, unaware of my arrival, was still on the phone.
â âYou know what that fashion major said at the meeting? She asked if I could introduce her to the really handsome poli-sci class president.â
Seo Hojin was the class president?
Why would he bother with such annoying stuff?
â â I told her not to be fooled by appearances, that youâre a piece of shit. And she looked at me like I was pathetic. Fuck. I donât mind being a victim, but does it have to interfere with my love life too??â
âStop talking shit⦠Youâre giving me a headache.â
ââ¦??â
I nearly choked on my drink as I unintentionally eavesdropped.
â¦Why does he sound so much like me?
It wasnât just similar; it was exactly my way of speaking.
The time to be cautious about my language in front of him had long passed.
Seo Hojin was an adult, and I figured heâd manage his own manner of speaking.
Feeling it wrong to keep listening, I set the can down on the table and kicked the door open.
âHey.â
ââ¦?!â
Seo Hojin, who had been lying on the bed like melted jelly, flinched and got up.
âOh, hyung, youâre here??â
â âHyung?â
ââ¦â
âWhen did youââ
â âEh, Seo Hojin, you have a brother??â
His friendâs surprised voice continued to echo.
âStop talking nonsense and just send the email.â
Seo Hojin quickly turned off the speakerphone, blurted out a bunch of words, and hung up.
I just leaned against the door, crossing my arms and watching him.
âWhatâs up, why are you here without saying anything?â
âThis is my house. Arenât you just a freeloader who doesnât pay rent?â
ââ¦I know.â
Seeing Seo Hojin pout and grumble, I flopped down on the chair in front of the desk.
I diverted my gaze to the frame occupying a corner of the desk.
It held a photo of our parents and Seo Hojin, the three of them together.
âNothingâs wrong, right?â
âNothing.â
âReally?â
âNothing.â
Seeing my expression, Seo Hojin laughed as if he found it absurd.
âAre you worried⦠Ah, hyung, werenât you filming some program?â
âYeah. The finals are coming up soon.â
His response felt a bit off.
Though he tried to act normal, Seo Hojinâs body was drenched in sweat, and he was gasping for breath.
âAre you sick?â
âJust overdid it a bit⦠Thereâs been a lot to do since the semester started.â
Man, this dude should rely on modern medicine when he was this sick.
Why was he struggling on his own?
âYouâre 24, donât you have anyone to take care of you?â
âI take care of myself very well~.â
Still, seeing him talk back properly made me think he wasnât that sick.
âDo you want to go to the hospital?â
âI went the day before yesterday already.â
Better than me, then.
I noticed a torn medicine packet and a half-empty water bottle by the bed.
Just as I was about to let it go, thinking he could take care of himself, Seo Hojin gasped for air with a flushed face, seemingly getting worse as he wrapped himself more tightly in his blanket on the bed.
Wondering if I should take him to the hospital now, I turned on my phone to search for nearby places.
There seemed to be a place that offered night-time services.
While scrolling through my phone, I asked nonchalantly,
âWhat did the doctor say? A cold?â
ââ¦Hmm.â
Seo Hojin hesitated for a moment.
âThey said Iâm fine.â
I paused at the name of a hospital⦠and raised an eyebrow.
ââ¦Fine?â
âSeriously. Itâs stress, blah blah. As if thereâs anyone without stress.â
Seo Hojin frowned, lifting his sweat-dampened bangs.
âJust took the medicine they gave me. So, I feel a bit better now.â
Thump, thump.
I could feel my heart starting to beat out of sync.
An inexplicable anxiety washed over me.
Because his symptoms seemed a bitâ¦
ââ¦Hyung?â
â¦similar to when I got penalized for abusing the system.
Seeing me frozen and unable to speak, Seo Hojin sensed something was off and stood up.
âWhatâs with that faceâ¦?â
As he approached me, his complexion suddenly turned pale, and he hurriedly covered his mouth.
ââ¦Ugh.â
ââ¦!â
Expecting him to vomit, I supported him, yet a chill ran down my spine.
âMove, move.â
I watched dazedly as he pushed past me and ran to the bathroom.
âUgh⦠Kukâ¦â
The sound of Seo Hojin vomiting brought a grim possibility to mind.
In the chilling air, I stood there, unable to get up or follow him to pat his back.
ââ¦Hyung.â
After a while, Seo Hojin came out, rinsing his mouth, and slumped at the edge of the bed.
ââ¦Did I do something wrong?â
He looked at me with a pale face, gauging my reaction.
I swallowed what I wanted to say and quickly composed my emotions.
âWhy? Feeling guilty about something? If youâve got something to say, spit it out now.â
âNo, itâs justâwhen you make that faceââ
âForget it, you seem worse. Just go back to the hospital.â
Seo Hojin opened his eyes wide in frustration, mumbling reluctantly.
âItâs not that badâ¦â
âAnyway, I found a clinic thatâs open at night. Iâll send you the directions by Kakao. I have to go now because of my schedule. Here, take some cab fare.â
I pulled out my wallet from my back pocket and handed him all the cash I could find.
âSeeing you vomit, it seems like indigestion. Try not to eat just anything, you little shit.â
âItâs not that.â
âIf you canât go to the hospital by yourself, Iâll accompany you.â
âNo need, Iâll go.â
ââ¦Alright.â
After giving him a thorough look, I headed for the front door.
As I was putting on my shoes and fixing the laces, Seo Hojin followed me, standing awkwardly close.
âHyung, thatâ¦â
âYeah?â
I intentionally untied the laces I had just tied, listening to Seo Hojinâs lingering voice.
âThereâs really nothing wrong, right?â
I fiddled with the tip of the lace and then tied it tightly again.
ââ¦Hojin.â
I abruptly stood up and turned to look at him.
âWhy do you keep asking? Would you be happy if something was actually wrong?â
âThatâs not what I meant.â
Seo Hojin with his foolish face.
With such an unnecessarily quick wit, that little rascal, who did he take after?
âHyung is heading to the finals but my dongsaeng has nothing to say?â
ââ¦Hmm.â
Seo Hojin crossed his arms and looked at me.
âDonât push yourself.â
âThatâs not it, you shit.â
I gently brushed Seo Hojinâs sweat-drenched hair while grinning slyly.
âIâll come back as number one.â
And without hesitation, I left.
Bang.
The door closed behind me, and I walked to the elevator, pressed the button, and leaned against the wall, waiting.
Unable to contain myself, I eventually headed down the stairs.
ââ¦â
My previously unaffected face suddenly fell.
As I hurriedly descended, my pace gradually slowed, and before I knew it, I had stopped moving.
âDamnâ¦â
Why did I feel so bad?
Even though I couldnât think of any major issue, with every step I took, it felt like I was walking through a sticky mud pit.
I tapped the railing with my fingers and summoned the system window.
âWhat did you do to my brother?â
The system window, which I thought would pop up with an excuse or perhaps even flee, crackled like it was filled with noise before slowly opening.
[Whatâs up??]
Was it really clueless?
Could I trust it?
I leaned against the wall and sighed.
âIf you mess with that kid, I wonât let you off.â
I slowly sat down on the floor and ruffled my hair wildly.
Seeing my brother in pain after such a long time made the moments spent going up on stage surrounded by the members, eating together, playing around, and chatting feel suddenly distant.
Right, what have I been doing all this for?
I would successfully complete all the quests and return to my original world.
Feeling down, I turned on my phone and searched for Shining Star, High Five, and The Dawn.
The songs were bound to be good, and the stage was likely to be well-produced.
Yet, no matter how much I calculated the odds and adjusted the plans, the outcome always converged to one.
To anyoneâs eye, it was a game we were bound to lose.
The Dawn might have been on a roll, but from the start, we couldnât compete with High Five in terms of fanbase and capital.
Moreover, the final competition was based on scores from previously released songs and live voting, making it even more disadvantageous for The Dawn.
A quest window floated beside me.
[Win the first place in Shining Star Season 2!
The survival program is back after a long time!
Secure first place in Shining Star Season 2.
Success: Vocal stats significantly increase
Failure: Seo Hoyunâs confidential information leaked]
ââ¦Heartless bastards.â
Indeed, a penalty where conscience had gone AWOL.
â¦I really didnât want to use this method.
My mother came to mind first, and inevitably, so did Hojin, who resembled her so much.
The young Hojin who cried every time our parents were mentioned also flashed in my mind.
I weighed the future scenario and the actions I had to take against each other.
ââ¦Ahhh⦠Damnâ¦â
Since when had I been cautious about stepping into fire and water?
Even though I thought it was necessary, I couldnât easily make up my mind.
ââ¦Ahâ¦â
I then rubbed my face with my hands, then licked my dry, chapped lips.
Right.
âSorry, Mom.â
Letâs do it.
Having made my decision, I picked up my phone.
It wasnât long before the person on the other end answered the call.
â ââ¦Huh? Hello?â
âYes, itâs me, PD.â
â âWhatâs up, why the call? Anything you need?â
âDo you have time?â
â ââ¦Why?â
Kim Heeyeon, clearly on guard, made me rub my nose.
The PD wouldnât be able to resist my story.
A bit of manipulation was necessary.
âThat isââ
I hesitated for a moment before I began to speak.
â¦Remember, this isnât me.
It seemed better to deceive.
I quickly adjusted my plan and gave a faint smile.
âJust meet me for a bit, letâs talk.â
A slight feeling of guilt and self-loathing crept up my throat, but continuing the conversation nonchalantly wasnât hard.n/ô/vel/b//in dot c//om
After allâ¦
âItâs about boosting the ratings.â
My conscience had been sold to hell a long time ago.