Holding Slavaâs hand, I approach the dining room, my knees all but knocking together. I donât know why Iâm so nervous, but I am. Just the thought of seeing Nikolai again makes me feel like a rabid honey badger has taken up residence in my stomach.
Itâs the mafia question, I tell myself. Now that the idea has occurred to me, I canât get it out of my mind, no matter how hard I try. Thatâs why my breath quickens and my palms grow damp each time I picture the cynical curve of my employerâs lips. Because he might be a criminal. Because I sense a dark, ruthless edge in him. It has nothing to do with his looks and the heat that flows through my veins whenever his intense green-gold gaze lands on me.
It canât have anything to do with that because heâs married, and I would never poach another womanâs husband, especially when a child is involved.
Still, I canât help wondering how long Nikolai and his wife have been together⦠whether he loves her. So far, Iâve only seen them together briefly, so itâs impossible to tellâthough I did sense a certain lack of intimacy between them. But Iâm sure that was just wishful thinking on my part. Why wouldnât my employer love his wife? Alina is as gorgeous as he is, so much so they almost look alike. No wonder Slava is such a beautiful child; with parents like that, heâs won the genetic lottery, big time.
I glance down at the boy in question, and he looks up at me, his huge eyes eerily like his fatherâs. His expression is solemn, the exuberance he displayed when we played together gone. Like me, he seems anxious about our upcoming meal, so I give him a reassuring smile.
âDinner,â I say, nodding toward the table weâre approaching. âWeâre about to have dinner.â
He blinks up at me, saying nothing, but I know heâs filing away the word, along with everything else Iâve said to him today. Young children are like sponges, absorbing everything adults say and do, their brains forming connections at dazzling speed. When I was in high school, I babysat for a Chinese couple. Their five-year-old spoke zero English when I met her, but after a few weeks of kindergarten and a dozen evenings with me, she was almost fluent. The same thing will happen to Slava, I have no doubt.
Already, by the end of this afternoon, he was repeating a few words after me.
No oneâs in the dining room yet, though Pavel gruffly told me to be down here at six when he brought the fruit-and-cheese tray to Slavaâs room. However, the table is already set with all manner of salads and appetizers, and my mouth waters at the deliciousness waiting for us. While the afternoon snack quenched the worst of my gnawing hunger, Iâm still starving, and it takes all of my willpower not to fall ravenously on the artfully arranged platters of open-faced caviar sandwiches, smoked fish, roasted vegetables, and leafy green salads. Instead, I help Slava climb up onto a chair that has a childâs booster seat on it, and then I begin pointing out the names of the different foods in English. âWe call this dish salad, and the green thing inside it is lettuce,â Iâm saying as the click-clack of high heels announces Alinaâs arrival.
I look up at her with a smile. âHello. Slava and I were justââ
âWhy hasnât he changed?â Her dark eyebrows pull together as she takes in the childâs appearance. âHe knows we change for dinner.â
I blink. âOh, Iââ
She interrupts with a stream of rapid-fire Russian, and I see the boyâs shoulders tighten as he slinks down in his seat, as if wanting to disappear. Apparently realizing sheâs upsetting her son, Alina softens her tone and eventually gets what sounds like a chastised apology out of the child.
She faces me. âSorry about that. Slava knows better than to come down like this, but he forgot in all the excitement.â
My face burns as I realize that âlike thisâ means his normal casual clothes, which are no different from the jeans and long-sleeved T-shirt Iâm wearing. Nikolaiâs wife, on the other hand, has changed into an even more glamorous dressâa silver-blue ankle-length gownâand looks like sheâs on her way to a Hollywood premiere.
âIâm sorry,â I say, feeling like a fanny-pack-wearing tourist whoâs stumbled into a Parisian fashion show. âI didnât realize there was a dress code.â
âOh, youâre fine.â Alina waves an elegant hand. âItâs not a requirement for you. But Slava is a Molotov, and itâs important that he learn the family traditions.â
âI see.â I donât see, actually, but itâs not my place to argue with family traditions, however absurd they may be.
âAnd donât worry,â Alina adds, taking a seat across from Slava. âIf you wish to dress properly as well, Iâm sure Kolya will buy you some appropriate clothing.â
Kolya? Is that what she calls her husband?
âThatâs not necessary, thank youââ I begin, only to fall into a stunned silence as I catch sight of Nikolai approaching the table. Like his wife, heâs changed for dinner, his high-end designer jeans and button-up shirt replaced by a sharply tailored black suit, crisp white shirt, and skinny black tieâan outfit that wouldnât look out of place at a high-society wedding⦠or the same movie premiere Alinaâs planning to attend. And while an average-looking man could easily pass for handsome in a suit like this, Nikolaiâs dark, masculine beauty is heightened to an almost unbearable degree. As I take in his appearance, my pulse goes through the roof and my lungs constrict, along with lower regions of myâ
Married, Chloe. Heâs married.
The reminder is like a slap in the face, yanking me out of my dazzled trance. Forcing a breath into my oxygen-deprived lungs, I give my employer a carefully restrained smile, one that doesnât say that my heart is racing in my chest and that Iâm wishing like hell Alina didnât exist. Especially since his striking gaze is trained on me instead of his gorgeous wife.
âYouâre late,â she says as he pulls out a chair and sits next to her. âItâs alreadyââ
âI know what time it is.â He doesnât take his eyes off me as he responds to her, his tone coolly dismissive. Then his gaze flicks to the boy at my side and his features tighten as he takes in his casual appearance.
âIâm sorry, itâs my fault,â I say before he can also reprimand the child. âI didnât realize we needed to get dressed up for dinner.â
Nikolaiâs attention returns to me. âOf course you didnât.â His gaze travels over my shoulders and chest, making me acutely conscious of my plain long-sleeved T-shirt and the thin cotton bra underneath thatâs doing nothing to hide my inexplicably erect nipples. âAlina is right. I need to buy you some proper clothes.â
âNo, really, thatâsââ
He holds up his palm. âHouse rules.â His voice is soft, but his face couldâve been laid in stone. âNow that youâre a member of this household, you must abide by them.â
âI⦠all right.â If he and his wife want to see me in fancy clothes at dinner and donât mind spending the money to make it happen, so be it.
Like he said, their house, their rules.
âGood.â His sensual lips curve. âIâm glad youâre so accommodating.â
My breath quickens, my face warming again, and I look away to hide my reaction. All the man did was smile, for fuckâs sake, and Iâm blushing like a fifteen-year-old virgin. And in front of his wife, no less.
If I donât get a handle on this ridiculous crush, Iâll be fired before the end of the meal.
âWould you like some salad?â Alina asks, as if to remind me of her existence, and I shift my attention to her, grateful for the distraction.
âYes, please.â
She gracefully ladles a serving of leafy green salad onto my plate, then does the same for her husband and son. In the meantime, Nikolai extends the platter with caviar sandwiches toward me, and I take one, both because Iâm hungry enough to eat anything residing on bread and because Iâm curious about the notorious Russian delicacy. Iâve had this type of fish roeâthe big orange kindâin sushi restaurants a couple of times, but I imagine itâs different like this, served on a slice of French baguette with a thick layer of butter underneath.
Sure enough, when I bite into it, the rich umami flavor explodes on my tongue. Unlike the fish roe Iâve tasted, Russian caviar appears to be preserved with liberal amounts of salt. It would be too salty on its own, but the crusty white bread and mellow butter balance it perfectly, and I devour the rest of the small sandwich in two bites.
Eyes gleaming with amusement, Nikolai offers me the platter again. âMore?â
âIâm good, thank you.â Iâd love another caviar sandwichâor twentyâbut I donât want to seem greedy. Instead, I dig into my salad, which is also delicious, with a sweet, tangy dressing that makes my taste buds tingle. Then I try a bite of everything on the table, from the smoked fish to some kind of potato salad to grilled eggplant drizzled with a cucumber-dill yogurt sauce.
As I eat, I keep an eye on my charge, whoâs eating quietly beside me. Alina has given Slava a small portion of everything the adults are having, the caviar sandwich included, and the boy seems to have no problem with that. There are no demands for chicken fingers or French fries, no sign of the typical pickiness of a four-year-old. Even his table manners are those of a much older child, with only a couple of instances of him grabbing a piece of food with his fingers instead of his fork.
âYour son is very well-behaved,â I tell Alina and Nikolai, and Nikolai lifts his eyebrows, as if hearing it for the first time.
âWell-behaved? Slava?â
âOf course.â I frown at him. âYou donât think so?â
âI havenât given it much thought,â he says, glancing at the boy, whoâs diligently spearing a piece of lettuce with his adult-sized fork. âI suppose he conducts himself reasonably well.â
Reasonably well? A four-year-old who sits calmly and eats everything served to him with zero whining or interruptions of adult conversation? Who handles utensils like a pro? Maybe this is a thing in Europe, but Iâve certainly never seen it in America.
Also, why hasnât my employer given his sonâs behavior much thought? Arenât parents supposed to worry about things like that?
âHave you been around many other children his age?â I ask Nikolai on a hunch, and catch his mouth flattening for a second.
âNo,â he says curtly. âI havenât.â
Alina shoots him an indecipherable look, then turns to me. âI donât know if my brother has told you this,â she says in a measured tone, âbut we only learned of Slavaâs existence eight months ago.â
I choke on a pickled tomato Iâve just bitten into and break into a coughing fit, the spicy, vinegary juices having gone down the wrong pipe. âWait, what?â I gasp out when I can speak.
Eight months ago?
And did she just call Nikolai her brother?
âI see this is news to you,â Alina says, handing me a glass of water, which I gratefully gulp down. âKolyaââshe glances at Nikolai, whoâs wearing a hard, closed-off expressionââhasnât told you much about us, has he?â
âUm, no.â I set the glass down and cough again to clear the hoarseness from my voice. âNot really.â My new employer hasnât said much at all, but Iâve made all sorts of assumptions, and wrong ones at that.
Alina is Nikolaiâs sister, not his wife. Which means the boy is not her son.
They didnât know he existed until eight months ago.
God, that explains so much. No wonder father and son act like theyâre strangers to each otherâthey are, for all intents and purposes. And I was right when I sensed a lack of lover-like intimacy between Nikolai and Alina.
They arenât lovers.
Theyâre siblings.
Looking at the two of them now, I donât understand how I couldâve missed the resemblanceâor rather, why the resemblance I did notice didnât clue me in to their familial relationship. Alinaâs features are a softer, more delicate version of the man sitting in front of me, and though her green eyes lack the deep amber undertones of Nikolaiâs stunning gaze, the shape of her eyes and eyebrows is the same.
Theyâre clearly, unmistakably siblings.
Which means Nikolai is not married.
Or at least not married to Alina.
âWhere is Slavaâs mother?â I ask, striving for a casual tone. âIs sheââ
âSheâs dead.â Nikolaiâs voice is cold enough to give frostbite, as is the look he levels at Alina. Turning back to face me, he says evenly, âWe had a one-night stand five years ago, and she didnât tell me she was pregnant. I had no idea I had a son until she was killed in a car accident eight months ago, and a friend of hers found a diary naming me as the father.â
âOh, thatâsâ¦â I swallow. âThat mustâve been very difficult. For you, and especially for Slava.â I look at the boy at my side, whoâs still eating calmly, as if he has no care in the world. But thatâs not the case at all, I know that now. Nikolaiâs son has survived one of the biggest tragedies that can befall a child, and however well-adjusted he seems, I have no doubt the loss of his mother has left deep scars on his psyche.
Iâm an adult, and Iâm having trouble coping with my grief. I canât imagine what itâs like for a little boy.
âIt was,â Alina agrees softly. âIn fact, my brotherââ
âThatâs enough.â Nikolaiâs tone is still perfectly level, but I can see the tension in his jaw and shoulders. The topic is an unpleasant one for him, and no wonder. I canât imagine what it must be like to find out you have a child youâve never met, to know youâve missed the first years of his life.
I have a million questions I want to ask, but I can tell nowâs not the time to indulge my curiosity. Instead, I reach for more food and spend the next few minutes complimenting the chefâwho, it turns out, is indeed the gruff, bear-like Russian.
âPavel and his wife, Lyudmila, came with us from Moscow,â Alina explains as the man-bear himself appears from the kitchen, carrying a large platter of lamb chops surrounded by roasted potatoes with mushrooms. With a grunt, he sets the food on the table, grabs a couple of empty appetizer plates, and disappears back into the kitchen as Alina continues. âLyudmila is under the weather today, so Pavel is doing all the work. Normally, he does most of the cooking and cleaning, while she serves the food. Her main job, though, is looking after Slava.â
âAre they the only two people living here besides your family?â I ask, accepting a lamb chop and a scoop of potatoes with mushrooms when she extends the platter toward me after giving a decent-sized portion to Slavaâwho again digs in without fuss.
âTheyâre the only people residing in the house with us,â Nikolai answers. âThe guards have a separate bunker on the north side of the estate.â
My heart jumps. âGuards?â
âWe have a few men securing the compound,â Alina says. âSince weâre so isolated out here and all.â
I do my best to conceal my reaction. âYes, of course, that makes sense.â Except it doesnât. If anything, the remote location should make it safer. From what I could see on the map, only one road leads up the mountain, and thereâs already an impenetrable-looking gate there, not to mention that ridiculously tall metal wall.
Only people with powerful, dangerous enemies would think it necessary to hire guards on top of all those measures.
Russian mafia.
The words whisper through my mind again, and my heartbeat intensifies. Lowering my gaze to my plate, I cut into my lamb chop, doing my best to keep my hand steady despite the anxious whirling of my thoughts.
Am I in danger here? Did I jump from the frying pan into the fire? Should Iâ
âTell us more about yourself, Chloe.â
Nikolaiâs deep voice cuts into my nervous contemplation, and I look up to find his tiger eyes on me, his lips curved in a sardonic smile. Once again, I have the disconcerting sensation that heâs seeing straight into my head, that he knows exactly what Iâm thinking and fearing.
Pushing the unsettling feeling away, I smile back. âWhat would you like to know?â
âYour driverâs license says you reside in Boston. Is that where you grew up?â
I nod, spearing a piece of lamb chop. âMy mom moved us there from California when I was a baby, and I grew up in and around the Boston area.â I bite into the tender, perfectly seasoned meat and again have to give props to Pavelâitâs the best lamb chop Iâve ever had. The potatoes with mushrooms are amazing too, all garlicky and buttery, so good I could eat a pound in a sitting.
âWhat about your father?â Alina asks when Iâm halfway through the lamb chop. âWhere is he?â
âI donât know,â I say, patting my lips with a napkin. âMy mom never told me who he is.â
âWhy not?â Nikolaiâs voice sharpens. âWhy didnât she tell you?â
I blink, taken aback, until it dawns on me what he must be thinking. âOh, she didnât hide the pregnancy from him. He knew she was pregnant and chose to walk away.â Or at least thatâs what Iâve gathered based on the few hints my mom had dropped over the years. For whatever reason, she hated this topic, so much so that whenever I pushed for answers, sheâd take to bed with a migraine.
Nikolaiâs tone softens a fraction. âI see.â
âI think he wasnât ready for that kind of responsibility,â I say, feeling the need to explain. âMy mom was only seventeen when she had me, so Iâm guessing he was very young as well.â
âYouâre guessing?â Alina lifts her perfectly shaped eyebrows. âYour mom didnât even tell you his age?â
âShe didnât like to talk about it. It was a difficult time in her life.â My voice tightens as another wave of grief washes over me, my chest squeezing with an ache so intense I can barely breathe through it.
I miss my mom. I miss her so much it hurts. Though I saw her body with my own eyes, a part of me still canât believe sheâs dead, canât process the fact that a woman so beautiful and vibrant is gone forever from this world.
âAre you okay, Chloe?â Alina asks softly, and I nod, blinking rapidly to hold back the tears stinging my eyes.
âAre you sure?â she presses, her green gaze filled with pity, and in a flash of intuition, I realize that she knowsâand so does Nikolai, whoâs watching me with an unreadable expression.
Somehow, they both know my mom is dead.
A rush of adrenaline chases away the grief as my mind leaps into overdrive. Thereâs little doubt now: They had me investigated prior to our interview. Thatâs how Nikolai knew about my lack of posts on social media, and why Alina is looking at me this way.
They know all sorts of things about me, including the fact that I lied to them by omission.
Thinking fast, I give a visible swallow and look down at my plate. âMy momâ¦â I let my voice break, like it wants to. âShe died a month ago.â Allowing the tears to flood my eyes, I look up, meeting Nikolaiâs gaze. âThatâs another reason I decided to go on the road trip. I needed some time to process things.â
His eyes glint a darker shade of gold. âMy deepest condolences for your loss.â
âThank you.â I wipe away the moisture on my cheeks. âIâm sorry I didnât mention it earlier. Itâs not something I felt comfortable casually bringing up in an interview.â Especially since my mom was killed and the men who did it are after me. I really hope Nikolai doesnât know about that.
Then again, he wouldnât have hired me if he did. Itâs not the sort of thing you want around your family.
âIâm very sorry for your loss,â Alina says, a genuine expression of sympathy on her face. âThat mustâve been difficult for you, losing your only parent. Do you have any other family? Grandparents, aunts, cousins?â
âNo. My mom was adopted from an orphanage in Cambodia by an American missionary couple. They were killed in a car accident when she was ten, and none of their family wanted her, so she grew up in foster care.â
âSo youâre all alone now,â Nikolai murmurs, and I nod, the squeezing ache in my chest returning.
Growing up, Iâd never minded the lack of extended family. Mom had given me all the love and support I couldâve wished for. But now that sheâs gone, now that itâs no longer the two of us against the world, Iâm painfully aware that I donât have anyone to rely on.
The friends Iâd made in school and college are busy with their own, infinitely less fucked-up lives.
Realizing Iâm drifting dangerously close to self-pity, I pull my gaze away from Nikolaiâs probing stare and turn my attention to the child at my side. Heâs finished his potatoes and is now industriously working on his lamb chop, his little face the very picture of concentration as he struggles to cut a bite-sized piece of meat using a fork and knife that someone left by his plate. Not a dull bread knife, either, I realize with a jolt.
An actual sharp steak knife.
âHere, darling, let me,â I say, grabbing it from him before he can slice off his fingers. âThis isââ
âSomething he needs to learn how to handle,â Nikolai says, reaching across the table to take the knife from me. His fingers brush over mine as he clasps the handle, and I feel it like an electric shock, the warmth of his skin igniting an answering furnace inside me. My insides tighten, my breath quickening, and itâs all I can do not to yank back my hand as if scalded.
At least heâs not married, an insidious little voice whispers in my head, and I shush it with vengeance.
Married or not, heâs still my employer and thus strictly off-limits.
Biting my lip, I watch him hand the knife back to the child, who resumes his dangerous task.
âYouâre not worried heâll cut himself?â I canât keep the judgment out of my voice as I stare at the little fingers wrapped around a potentially lethal weapon. Slava is handling the knife with a reasonable degree of skill and dexterity, but heâs still too young to be dealing with something so sharp.
âIf he does, heâll know better next time,â Nikolai says. âLife doesnât come with a safety lock.â
âBut heâs only four.â
âFour and eight months,â Alina says as the boy succeeds in cutting a piece of lamb chop and, looking pleased with himself, forks it into his mouth. âHis birthdayâs in November.â
Iâm tempted to keep arguing with them, but itâs my first day and Iâve already pushed the envelope more than is wise. So I keep my mouth shut and focus on my food to avoid looking at the child wielding a knife next to me⦠or his callous, yet dangerously attractive father.
Unfortunately, said father keeps looking at me. Each time I lift my gaze from my plate, I find his mesmerizing eyes on me and my heartbeat jumps, my hand tingling at the recollection of what it felt like to have his fingers brush against mine.
This is bad.
So bad.
Why is he looking at me like that?
He canât be attracted to me as well⦠can he?