Chapter 51
"I believe in him."
Rochelle Quinn's POV:
- Warning: Physical and Sexual Abuse mentioned. Not graphic. -
Sometimes, I genuinely feel like there's something in this world that is out to hurt me.
Sometimes, I feel like I'm alone and trapped within a labyrinth and the entire universe is praying for my defeat.
After I got out of Juvie, someone might as well have put a sign up.
"Congratulations. You have survived the war. Now live with the trauma."
And somehow, a part of me knew that the trauma was going to hurt a lot worse than the war.
Yet sometimes it seems like the universe is out to hurt the people I care for just as much as me.
Kenzie was raped. That was something I knew.
The person who was responsible for it, however, is unknown to me.
But, like always, I have my suspicions.
*
"Jesse, I don't know what to do." I admit, tangling my hands together nervously as I sat on his bed.
He handed me a bottle of Corona silently, sitting down across from me.
"So you know this person who was hurt like 'Van right? And you love them?" He confirms, taking a deep sip of his drink.
"I don't love them, Jess. I just...I care for them and I don't know how to help them." I catch his gaze easily, relaxing as a distinct shade of understanding and sincerity bleed into his iris'.
"You can't fix them, Rock." He tells me, "They don't need to be fixed. And you can't help them by hurting the person who harmed them. "
"Then what can I do?"
"You can care for them." He says softly, "Support them, help them, love them. Be the person that you needed so desperately when you were younger. Be the person you would want if it was Rowan, or Sky, or Kade."
"What if I fail though?" I ask, lowering my voice. "I'm scared. This person I'm trying to be, this isn't who I am. I'm not a nice person, Jesse. I want to hurt the person who hurt him. I can't control this anger fuelling inside of me."
"You have so much anger, Rocky. Use it to help him, rather than destroy him further. You know more than anyone that death and violence doesn't equal closure. What if you fail? What if you succeed? Just remember who and what you're fighting for, and you will never miss your target."
"But Rocky, you can't help him alone. If he doesn't want to help or believe in himself then don't bother trying to."
"I believe in him."
+++++
I sat in Jesse's room as I waited for Kane to come and pick me up. The door had rang and I could only assume it was Ivan, but I don't feel like speaking to anyone.
The bedroom door opened and then slammed shut, a small figure now inside the room with me.
"Sky? What's wrong?" I asked quickly, suddenly noticing his widened eyes and shaking hands.
He doesn't speak, obviously trying to calm his erratic breathing.
"Did someone hurt you?" I questioned softly, he shook his head anxiously, looking all around the room in a bid to find the exits.
I used to do that.
"Sky, I can't help if I don't know what's happened." I coax gently, my heart stopped once I noticed the blood on his jacket.
Fresh blood.
Sky wouldn't do that.
He hasn't got it in him.
"I..." He paused, trying to slow his rapid pants. "I was out, with my friends. We were working." Working means dealing. "And a guy walked past us, and one of them, Jax, followed him. Said he owed him money. They went into a sidewalk, Jax walked out covered in blood with a knife in his hand."
Oh my god.
"Sky.." I drifted off, meeting his painstricken eyes.
"I felt like I needed to go and see him. The guy." His eyes turned emotionless, "You can't leave this life once you've joined it. I figured that I'll have to see it eventually. So I walked around the corner and I saw him lay down. His throat was cut. I thought dead bodies just looked like they were asleep, like in the movies. He didn't look asleep."
I knew exactly what he was talking about. Dead bodies aren't nice to see, far from it.
Especially ones that'd died struggling and painfully.
"I don't wanna see that stuff, Rock." He mumbled, hiding his face in his hands.
"You don't have too." I promised gently, causing him to look up at me. "We're not staying here forever, Sky, I'll get us all out eventually. I swear. "
"How..How do you cope with it?" He stuttered, begging me with his eyes to take away the pain.
"You don't." I muttered distastefully, "You distract yourself, find comfort in the fact you didn't kill him. You're not at fault, Sky."
"But what if they want me to kill someone?" He questioned brokenly, "I won't be able to do it, and if I don't do it, they'd kill me."
Wrath shot up my spine at the idea of someone hurting him.
"Who the fuck are you?" I question forcefully, despite my anger not being directed towards him. I continued before he had a chance to answer. "You're Skylar motherfucking Rossi; You're a Diamond. If anyone ever puts their hands on you without your consent, you cut them off. Anyone touches you, I'll kill them and you can fucking tell them that."
"You'd go back to jail." He replied with wide eyes, surprise radiating off him at the idea I would do that for him.
I finalised, somehow being able to reassure him. "It'd be worth it. I went to Jail for Ivan, for what happened to him. Just like I'd go to jail for you if anyone harmed you. We're family."
His gaze softened, "Rocky, I...Why are you doing this? Why have you always done this? You protected me and Ivan before you knew us properly. You risked getting sent to Death Row for Ivan, just so you could kill Bulldog. I don't...I don't understand it."
"I just got to a point in my life where I just want to help people, do some good things for a change, you know? I've done so many bad things in my life, Sky, and I don't want to be that person anymore. I'm tired of seeing others go through the same things I've gone through, certain hells and certain pains that only the seriously strong could survive from. In other words, if I can save you from fucking your life up, or from any type pain, I will. Nobody should ever have to go through the same things we did. This is why I'm always behind you, looking out for you, protecting you, because I care. I have ever since I met you and I probably always will. You're my best friend, my brother, and I never, ever want to see you fall. We're family, forever and evermore."
He threw his arms around me, pushing me down to reach his height. I smiled into the hug, clutching him back with the same passion and intensity.
"I love you, Rocky. Our lives weren't the same without you. I missed you so damn much." He mutters.
I grin, "You don't even understand how much I missed you. I thought about you guys every single day."
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As Dean Winchester so expertly said: Family has your back, even when it hurts.
We're coming close to the end of this book. The last chapters won't be easy to write, nor read.
Thank you all for reading the chapter!
All my love,
Alaska xx