ZAIA.
A week has passed, and I feel⦠empty.
The moment Atticus mentioned it, there were so many emotions that I was left to deal with.
Anger, betrayal, regret, pain, guilt and sadness.
My emotions became an ocean I was drowning in, struggling to stay afloat⦠but I let go, allowing the emotions to consume me⦠until I no longer felt anything.
When your emotions are no longer blinding you, things become clearer. Just as I now paid attention to what Sebastian had said before he left. That he had something to do. If I paid enough attention, I would have realised before I overrode security. He had already locked himself out of the pack.
He had warned us too about the rogues, just as Atticus had mentioned.
The cryptic remarks, the way he looked at me, the fear that something would happen it was all valid.
And then, our little Sia, I should have realised heâd do anything for her. I just wish he told me so I would understand. Did breaking my heart help him?
But I canât be selfish. My feelings are not important in comparison to our daughterâs health. I would do anything for her and if he succeeds in getting that cure, I will be forever in his debt.
that we are.
Sebastianâs and my trust have never been perfect and I realise not compatible. Our relationship just isnât at that level where we could not live without one another.
Perhaps I was too stupid, but to Sebastian, this was just a relationship, not his world. I thought this time around I wasnât so clingy, but I clearly donât love right.
Where do I lack?
That is a question Iâll always ask myself, but never voice.
For our children, I hope he makes it and that he accomplishes what I have never been able to do. Heal Siaâ¦. that thought brings me hope.
Even the moon cannot heal things that are man made.
I glance up as a sharp wind blows and observe Dad, who now turns away from Momâs grave.
Momâs funeral was held a few days ago and seeing Dadâs state, the way heâs hiding what heâs truly feeling breaks me a little more.
He was cheated on by Mom⦠but he still loved her, just as Sebastian has hurt me, yet I canât help but love him. But that doesnât mean I canât forgive him, it just means I will never be able to accept him back into my life.
But I can relate to Dad in a way. The pain our mates caused us would always despite the love we feel too.
If we make it out of this aliveâ¦
âDad⦠come,â I say gently, holding my hand out to him.
remain, He looks at me and once again Iâm hit with the painful reminder that he looks aged.
I need you, Dad..
I canât lose him.
âDo you think burying her here was ideal?â he asks, glancing around the graveyard of The Dark Hollow Falls Pack.
âShe lived here for some years. I think sheâll be fine⦠besides, sheâs closest to the children here⦠she wanted that âI say quietly.
Not telling him that Mom once told me, she wished to be buried away from The Crystal Shadow Pack. That she refuses to be buried in a pack where her mateâs mistress is Luna.
Iâm not sure what stood any longer, but I couldnât ignore that order of hers from long ago.
That is a question Iâll always ask myself, but never voice.
For our children, I hope he makes it and that he accomplishes what I have never been able to do. Heal Sia⦠that thought brings me hope.
Even the moon cannot heal things that are man made.
I glance up as a sharp wind blows and observe Dad, who now turns away from Momâs grave.
Momâs funeral was held a few days ago and seeing Dadâs state, the way heâs hiding what heâs truly feeling breaks me a little more.
He was cheated on by Mom⦠but he still loved her, just as Sebastian has hurt me, yet I canât help but love him. But that doesnât mean I canât forgive him, it just means I will never be able to accept him back into my life.
But I can relate to Dad in a way. The pain our mates caused us would always remain, despite the love we feel too.
If we make it out of this aliveâ¦.
âDad⦠come,â I say gently, holding my hand out to him.
He looks at me and once again Iâm hit with the painful reminder that he looks aged.
I need you, Dadâ¦
I canât lose him.
âDo you think burying her here was ideal?â he asks, glancing around the graveyard of The Dark Hollow Falls Pack.
âShe lived here for some years. I think sheâll be fine⦠besides, sheâs closest to the children here⦠she wanted that.â I say quietly.
Not telling him that Mom once told me, she wished to be buried away from The Crystal Shadow Pack.
That she refuses to be buried in a pack where her mateâs mistress is Luna..
Iâm not sure what stood any longer, but I couldnât ignore that order of hers from long.
ago.
Dad nods. âWell, what next?â
I look around, but donât reply. There is still a way that the Sable are listening in on our conversations.
We have been intercepted twice on trips and Iâve grown tired of watching my back.
But itâs not all a disappointment. Atticus has found something, and I am going to meet him later since neither of us trusted discussing it over the phone.
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