Zaia places two mugs down on the table, making me jump and I frown, trying to push the thoughts away, refusing to go down that train of thought.
âSorry.â She apologises, taking the seat opposite me gracefully.
I shake my head. âYou didnât do anything. So how long are you here for?â I ask, trying to make conversation.
She tilts her head, her gorgeous locks tumbling over her shoulder as she picks up her coffee mug. âIâm not sure. I donât want my being here to make things worse,â she answers softly.
My stomach sinks and I shake my head. âNever. Iâm happy youâre here and Iâm asking you so we can plan some nights out.ââ
âYou have work, remember? We arenât in our twenties anymore, and we canât party all night and cope with work with a hangover,â she laughs. âEspecially as a doctor.â
I chuckle. âYouâre right, honestly, Iâm too old for all the partying, but who said anything about clubbing?
We can go for dinner and go shopping. The theatre even. And weâll be back in time. See? We can make it work.â
âI like the sound of that. I have the full day here tomorrow and Iâm leaving the following morning, so weâll do something after work tomorrow.â
I nod, I think Iâll like that.
Itâs late in the night and Zaia and I are both in bed, her back is to me, and I think sheâs asleep as I stare at the ceiling. Zade hasnât returned, although it is past midnight, and Iâm unable to sleep. Iâm worried about him. Worried that Iâve hurt himâ¦
I turn and look at the back of Zaiaâs head, the sudden urge to tell her what Iâm going through on the tip of my tongue, but I hold back. I know she might understand. This is Zaia⦠but would Sebastian understand?
I sigh softly, turning onto my side, I gaze out of the small window and stare up at the moon that is partially masked by the clouds.
Iâm sorryâ¦
My eyes are almost shutting when Zaia speaks.
âVal?â
My eyes snap open. Is she awake?
âI just want to let you know you can talk to me. You know Iâll always be there for you.â She murmurs.
âThereâs no judgment or criticism between us, remember that.â
I stay quiet for a moment before reaching behind me, smiling softly when my hand touches hers.
âThanks Zee..â I whisper as we clasp hands.
Sheâs right, there is no judgement between us. Sheâs been that person I can talk to who has always accepted any decision Iâve made. Sheâs had my back and Iâve had hers.
I take a deep breath. Zade isnât in his room and now is my chance. What do I have to lose, anyway?
âIâm falling for someone, Zaiaâ¦â
I hear her turn, letting go of my hand before taking it with her other one. She doesnât speak, letting me carry on.
I close my eyes, my heart thumping. âHe confuses me⦠he makes me feel things I shouldnât. I shouldnât even think of falling for him. I shouldnât, but I am. But Iâm also confused, ridden with guilt.
Jai⦠how do I face anyone?â
Sucking in a shuddering breath, I gaze out of my window as I continue. âMy heart is torn, Zaia, and I have no idea what to do. Does he even deserve a chance Everyone does, and what he said that day hit hard⦠but why do I need someone. else to reassure me?
Because Iâm scared.
âDonât think too deep. If he makes you happy, Valerie, thatâs all that matters. Everyone deserves a second chance at love and life. I know things are hard, and feeling guilty is natural, but when I have given Sebastian so many chances, why canât you give him a chance?â
I pause. For a moment I almost thought she knew who I was talking about⦠she doesnât, does she?