Chapter 8: Chapter Eight

Tyler Trip

“You’ve lost it,” Ryan grumbled, pacing in front of my desk.

We were in my office, a room I didn’t even know existed until about five minutes ago.

The room was simple. A heavy wooden desk and a squeaky chair. An empty bookshelf and a pen holder with a single pencil. That was it.

Rowan was by the window, arms crossed over his chest, lips pressed into a tight line. He wasn’t thrilled about siding with Ryan over me.

I got where they were coming from. I wasn’t even sure what I was doing with the Ryders.

“Caroline isn’t a bad choice,” Rowan suggested, shrugging.

Ryan rolled his eyes. “He shouldn’t be making this choice.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Who should then? You?”

I watched him grind his teeth. “No,” he muttered, “no one. You should be focusing on the pack. Not on some redhead—”

“I am,” I cut him off, “focusing on the pack. The pack is all I think about.”

Ryan’s face twisted. “So, this has nothing to do with you sleeping alone in a big, empty house?”

I didn’t rise to his bait. “I can’t run the pack alone, Stells.” I stopped myself after using his old nickname. It was hard to accept that the Ryan I knew and loved was gone.

“I need a luna. I need someone to share in the decision-making and the daily tasks. A pack needs a female alpha, it’s that simple.”

I didn’t say what was really on my mind. I needed a luna because my beta was more interested in overthrowing me than supporting me.

Rowan sighed. “You’re right, Trip. Female alphas are important to the pack. I just… None of us thought you’d make this decision so soon.”

~After Del.~

“What are you trying to prove?” Ryan asked. “By promoting the kids of the man who killed our last alpha? “Is that what you think this pack wants? To see the Ryders get opportunities they don’t?”

“Rick Ryder didn’t kill Vex,” I said, growing tired.

Ryan growled, stopping his pacing.

“Rick Ryder was supposed to be on duty that day. He left his post, giving no warning, no howl, no sign we were being attacked. Alpha Vex died because of it. Del—”

I gripped the chair tightly. “I know who died that day.”

Ryan was furious. “So, how can you—?”

“Because I am the alpha,” I snapped, standing up.

“I am the leader of this pack. I make the final decisions. I’ve decided to make Mick Ryder the human ambassador, Rick Ryder a lookout, and Caroline Ryder my luna.”

Rowan looked at Ryan, and I realized that my beta hadn’t been told that I planned to reinstate Rick Ryder as a lookout.

Ryan’s face fell. “You’re going to reinstate Rick Ryder?” he growled.

“And when Han Ryder wants a job, I’ll give him one too,” I told Ryan.

Ryan slammed his hands on my desk, making the pencil jump in its holder. “Unbelievable,” he snarled. “If I were alpha, they’d still be marked as traitors. Failures of this pack. Worse than omegas—”

“You aren’t the alpha,” I roared. “I am.”

“Ryan…,” Rowan started, standing.

Ryan pointed his finger in my face. “You’re going to ruin this pack. Interacting with the humans, all this good neighbor crap, it’s going to bite you in the ass, Trip.”

He shook his head. “The biggest joke? Replacing Del with a—”

“Don’t you dare,” I said, moving around the desk. I didn’t stop until Ryan and I were face to face. We were the same height but Ryan was bulkier.

“You are my subordinate, ~Beta~, and I can order you to do whatever I want. Remember that.”

Ryan didn’t back down and the wolf in me bristled, demanding obedience, demanding submission.

“Ordering me around won’t change anything, ~Alpha.~ This pack needs to be led the right way, and there are a lot of people here who believe that I should be the one to do it.”

I stared him down. “You are welcome to take anyone who wants to follow you and leave, Ryan.

“Go! Start your own pack. See how well you lead them with fewer resources; see how far your anti-human views get you in a post-war world.”

Ryan curled his lip and looked away.

I smirked. “You think you understand, Ryan. But you don’t. You don’t understand what it’s like out there, what the war was like, or how it changed people.”

I leaned in, invading his personal space. I wanted him to know that I owned this space.

“You should have been out there, too, brother,” I hissed, “but you were a coward.”

Ryan froze and I saw the shock in his eyes.

I eased back. “You should have been by my side, protecting my back. You should have come and fought for me, her, our pack, and every other pack out there.

“You were supposed to enlist with me but where were you when the recruiting officers came around? Hiding in the charred remains of this pack, hiding behind the ashes of the old alpha.

“You think you can lead, Ryan? You’re wrong.”

Rowan shifted uncomfortably but Ryan remained still.

“Get out of my sight,” I said, disgusted.

Ryan’s eyes flashed to mine. “Rick Ryder—”

I grabbed his collar. “Get out of my sight!”

Ryan pulled away, his cheeks red as he glared at Rowan and then back at me.

A moment later, he was gone. I leaned against my desk, staring straight ahead at the door.

“I didn’t know all of that,” Rowan said, looking at me warily.

I massaged my neck. “Nobody knows. I didn’t share that Ryan backed out.”

“No wonder he was so tough on the fighters,” Rowan muttered.

I glanced at him and let out a sigh. “I need to deal with him soon,” I said. “He can’t stay as beta much longer.” I paused, giving him a meaningful look.

Rowan nodded, his eyebrows knitting together. “I agree.” He didn’t catch that I was suggesting he replace Ryan.

I sighed and pushed myself up, acknowledging Rowan’s tired smile. I ran my hands over my face for a moment before rolling my shoulders and leaving the office.

Ryan was gone and the rest of the inner pack was on the other side of the house. I could hear Bennie rummaging in my cupboards.

The omega jumped when I entered the room, his hands already deep in a bag of chips. The skinny guy grinned. “How’s it going, Alpha?”

It wasn’t typical to have omegas as part of the inner pack, but Bennie and I had been friends since we were kids.

Not that I’d ever thought of him as small. He’s always been taller than me and still is at six-foot-five.

“Going well, Bennie,” I replied, scanning the room for Ryan. He was gone and so was my head scout, Theo, who I hadn’t really seen since I got here.

Aaron, our head lookout, was by himself by the windows. He was scanning the trees, scanning the room, tilting his head as he listened for distant threats.

Good lookouts were naturally jumpy and overly anxious, but Aaron outdid them all.

Jackie and Sarah were sitting next to each other. They were close, despite Sarah’s tough exterior. As the only females in my inner pack—apart from Caroline now—they had formed a strong bond they both needed.

Rowan had positioned himself just behind my right side; the spot Ryan usually occupied.

I wasn’t sure if Rowan had noticed the change but I hoped he wouldn’t go back to my left. It felt good to have that spot filled again.

Caroline stood alone on the side of the room, her hands clasped in front of her and her eyes never resting on one face for too long.

She seemed distracted. Her mouth was pulled down into a puzzled frown as she observed the inner pack. I waited for her to meet my gaze but she never did.

I took a deep breath. “Ready to get started?”

No one asked about Ryan.

“I’ll start,” Sarah volunteered, jumping out of her seat.

She gave a quick update on the progress of her enforcers, outlining the new training initiatives while highlighting those who were succeeding and those who were struggling.

“I want to suggest that we transfer Curt to the lookout team for a trial because he’s really not pulling his weight with the enforcers.”

Aaron nearly jumped. “What? No way, there’s no room for stubbornness on my team.”

Sarah rolled her eyes. “He’s not—”

“Anyone who wants to enforce is stubborn,” Aaron interrupted.

“Yeah,” Bennie chimed in, “they’re always throwing punches and stuff. Just a few days ago, I saw Han Ryder get punched by—”

Bennie stuffed a handful of chips into his mouth when he remembered Caroline’s presence.

She didn’t seem bothered at all. “Han was asking for it.”

“Curt isn’t a brute, Aaron,” Sarah said, bringing the discussion back on track. “That’s why I’m trying to hand him off to you. He’s not aggressive enough. He might make a good lookout.”

Aaron narrowed his eyes. “I don’t need another lookout.”

“Well, you’re getting two,” I said, meeting his surprise with a firm look. “Curt and Rick Ryder.”

Silence filled the room.

Bennie choked on the chip crumbs.

“Yes, Alpha,” Aaron murmured, bowing his head before he turned back to the window. I held back a sigh, making a mental note to talk to Aaron before he left.

I turned, trying to gauge Caroline’s reaction without letting her know that I was watching her. She was stone-faced and silent; her face was drawn and closed off.

I saw her tighten her lips, so I quickly looked away, afraid I had been caught.

I moved onto lighter topics, discussing the midsummer party I wanted to throw to promote unity.

I was considering inviting the humans from Mt. Oak but I wasn’t ready to share that idea.

Once everyone had shared their updates, given their opinions on my planned initiatives, and teased each other, Bennie plugged his phone into a docking station and filled the house with music.

The lack of furniture made for good acoustics.

My friends relaxed, easing into conversations that didn’t carry any pressure.

Sarah laughed and Jackie playfully shoved her shoulder, while Bennie and Rowan teased Aaron, who was paranoid they were planning a prank.

I grabbed two beers from the fridge—courtesy of Bennie—and crossed the room to where Caroline was standing. I offered her a smile and a drink, both of which she accepted with a tired look.

I leaned on the wall next to her, popping the cap on my beer and taking a sip before smiling at the sight of my friends. Despite the challenging transition, I was happy to be home with them.

Caroline held onto the neck of her beer bottle, fiddling with the cap with her fingers. I debated whether to help her open the bottle but decided she could handle it.

The last thing I wanted to do was suggest she was incapable.

“Look,” I began, “I’m sorry about everything that’s been said about your family. I didn’t expect the controversy.” I took a sip, unsure if I had chosen the right words.

Caroline shrugged. “It’s not a big deal. Nothing’s been said that’s any worse than what I’ve heard before.”

I nodded toward the group. “What do you think?”

She tilted her head to the side. “I’d take any one of them over Ryan.”

I rubbed my neck. “I’m sorry about that.”

Caroline started peeling the label off her beer. “Not a big deal.”

I took another sip. “Is everything okay?” I asked, feeling a bit thrown off by her quietness.

She sighed. “My family… I just had a…” She twisted her lips to the side and looked down. “The visit didn’t go the way I thought it would.”

I had a feeling I needed to tread lightly here. “Mick doesn’t want the ambassador gig?” I asked, my mind already racing to think of a backup plan.

Caroline shook her head. “No, he’s all in.”

I waited for her to continue, but she didn’t. I spread my hands in a half shrug. “I can’t help if you don’t spill, Caroline.”

Her mouth opened a bit before she quickly closed it. A faint blush spread across her freckled cheeks. “I don’t need your help,” she retorted.

I leaned back. “So, you’re a runner?”

Her right iris flashed blue as she glanced at me. “Yes,” she replied cautiously.

I chuckled. “I’m not grilling you, Caroline. Just chatting.”

“I run.” That was her idea of expanding on the topic.

“How long have you been into running?” I asked, watching as Bennie and Rowan tried to coax Aaron into shotgunning a beer. He was shaking his head, adamant.

Caroline was watching the boys too, a small smile playing on her lips. “A while,” she answered, being deliberately vague.

I looked back at the boys and frowned, wondering which one of them was making her smile and why I couldn’t seem to get one from her.

“I bet I’m faster,” I threw out.

That got her attention. “It’s about distance,” she countered.

I smirked. “I bet I can run farther.”

She held her beer close to her chest, still unopened. “You do realize I run every day, for miles, uphill.”

“I’m aware,” I told her. “I was thinking about you for a scouting position before I changed my mind.”

Caroline tilted her head. “Really?”

I laughed. “More interested in scouting?” I asked. “I can switch you.”

She quickly shook her head. “No,” she blurted, her cheeks turning a deeper shade of red. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t pleased with her response. She was backtracking now.

“I want to give this trial a fair shot and I already told Ryan—”

“I’m messing with you,” I told her, grinning. “You’re stuck now.”

She looked down to hide a smile. When she looked back up, she was squinting. “Can I confess something?”

I sat up straighter. “Of course.”

She held up the beer. “I don’t know how to open this.”

I was taken aback. “What?”

Caroline shrugged, tucking a curl behind her ear. She had a piercing in her cartilage. “I’ve never been offered a drink before.

“My parents don’t drink, and the war kind of kicked off right when I was hitting my teens, so I’ve never been to a party.”

I swapped beers with her and popped the top off. “What are you, like two years younger than me?”

“Three,” she said, taking her beer back.

I nodded. “Right, I remember when you first came to our high school. It was the last semester before…” I cleared my throat.

She took a long sip and then made a face. “Ugh,” she grunted, “I haven’t been missing much.”

“Most people don’t drink for the taste,” I told her, a smile playing on my lips.

There was a burst of cheers as Aaron dropped an empty can on the table. He was grinning like a fool as Bennie patted his shoulders like he’d just won a boxing match.

Caroline was smiling again, and I realized it was because of the camaraderie in the room.

“They won’t bite,” I told her, nodding toward the lively group.

Sarah was dancing with her eyes closed, a blissful expression on her face as she moved to the beat. Jackie was cheering her on, shouting out the lyrics.

Caroline bit one of her nails. “I’m not good at…this.”

“It’s not hard.”

She gave me a dry look. “I kind of lost my small talk skills.” Her eyes met mine for a moment before she looked away and shifted uncomfortably.

For a moment, I was struck by the realization that I hadn’t thought of anything or anyone but the woman in front of me for the last few minutes.

It had been a long time since I’d felt that way. A long time since my mind had been so focused.

I got what Caroline meant about losing her ability to make small talk. It was hard to chat about nothing when everything seemed so insignificant.

For years, I hadn’t wanted to talk about anything but the war. Anything else felt trivial, almost disrespectful to the suffering happening in the world.

“Jackie is a good place to start,” I suggested. “She’s easy to talk to.”

“No,” Caroline said quickly, turning her back to the group when Jackie looked over, hearing her name over the loud music. I smiled at the peacemaker, who turned back to Sarah.

“Do you have a problem with her?” I asked Caroline, lowering my voice.

“No,” she said tightly, closing her eyes for a second. “It’s just…she…”

It took me a moment to put it together. Jackie was our peacemaker, which meant she dealt with everything from breakups to funerals.

Jackie would have been the one to counsel Caroline after her mate died.

I took her hand. “I understand.”

She stared at our hands for a moment, stunned, before she looked up and her expression hardened. She pulled her hand away and shook her head. “You don’t,” she snapped.

I watched her walk across the room and start a conversation with Aaron, who had calmed down after shotgunning the beer. She didn’t look back at me, even though I couldn’t take my eyes off her.

Rowan came up and clapped me on the shoulder, handing me a fresh beer. “Want to be my pong partner?”

“I don’t know how I’m supposed to make this work,” I muttered.

Rowan sighed. “I didn’t want to play anyway.”

“Do you think Ryan was right?” I asked.

“No way, dude,” Rowan said, shaking his head. “You know how I feel about the whole luna thing. I’m just surprised you took this on so soon after getting back.

“But I think you’re doing the best you can and I think that’s all you can do with her.”

Caroline was across the room, struggling to keep up with the conversation. Aaron, her partner, wasn’t exactly helping.

I let out a sigh, placing my beer on the table and rubbing my face. I could feel the stubble that had grown in.

“I’m scared my best won’t be enough,” I confessed, keeping my voice low.

Rowan didn’t respond right away, and I started to regret letting my guard down.

“Make this second chance count, Trip. She might not say it, but you’ve given her hope for a happy future. Don’t let her down.”

Rowan was then pulled away by Bennie to join Aaron and Sarah in a game. Bennie had used her intimidating presence to convince Aaron to be her partner.

The game started with a stare-down shot, and I watched as Caroline tried to figure out the rules, too stubborn to ask for help.

I saw Caroline laugh, take a sip of her beer, and then hold it close to her chest. Bennie was teasing her, daring her to join the next game, and Caroline was smiling, laughing.

Something small and strong started to grow in my chest, and I knew that if I messed up, it would never get the chance to fully bloom.

A few hours later, everyone was getting ready to leave, and I walked my inner pack to the front porch.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Jackie asked, her hand lingering on my arm.

I smiled and nodded. “I’ll be fine, as long as the boys get home safe. Can you keep an eye on them?”

Jackie glanced back at Rowan, Bennie, and Aaron, who were all singing off-key and laughing.

“Of course,” she replied, her gaze drifting past me to Caroline, who was still inside. “Are you sure it’s a good idea for her to stay with you?”

Her question caught me off guard. “She’s the luna.”

“She hasn’t accepted the position yet,” Jackie pointed out.

I leaned back. “Do you think that’s odd?”

“I think any female wolf would jump at the chance to be your luna, Trip.”

I considered that. “Isn’t it good that she’s taking her time to decide?”

Jackie shrugged. “I can’t say, Trip. I just want you to be careful.

“I like Caroline, but I don’t want to see you get hurt. She might be okay now, Trip, but I’m worried she might not be emotionally ready for this role.”

I didn’t say anything.

She patted my arm. “Don’t overthink it,” she advised. “Just be careful.”

“Goodnight, Jackie,” I said quietly as she kissed my cheek. She smiled and then ran after Bennie, who was veering off the path.

I turned back to the house, feeling a knot of nerves in my stomach. The house was quiet without the inner pack; the only sounds were the rustling of the wind and the faint noises of life in the trees.

All the distractions were gone.

It was just Caroline and me now.