***
âYou sure youâre okay, son?â Sylvia Lewis asked her son. Shane only called that late when he was troubled.
âIâm fine, Ma,â Shane said quietly. âI just wanted to hear your voice.â
âShaneâ¦â
âCanât I call my mother?â Shane laughed softly.
âYou know you can, hon. Itâs just that I know my son.â Sylvia sounded worried.
âNow youâre making me regret calling you.â Shane gave a deep sigh.
âThe nightmaresâ¦â
âMa.â Shane groaned. âYou know those can never stop.â
âHave you considered seeing a doctor like Iâve been suggesting all these years?â
Shane went quiet for a moment. âIâll think about it.â
Sylvia Lewis covered her mouth so that her son wouldnât hear her gasp. âThank you,â Sylvia said quietly. Shane had never told her he would think about seeing a shrink no matter how much she had nagged. All he always did was brush her suggestion aside. For Shane to actually say he was going to think about it meant something must be terribly wrong, Sylvia Lewis thought tensely. But she didnât want to push her son. She knew he would tell her what the problem was when he was ready. The mere fact that he was willing to think about seeing a shrink was okay with Sylvia. God knew her son needed help. âAre we still on for the visit next month? I need to see my baby.â She said softly.
âNo force on this earth can stop me from coming, Mrs. Lewis,â Shane said with a chuckle, making his mother burst into laughter.
âYou make it sound as though Iâm your wife, you crazy boy. I spoke with Adele this morning. That girl is something else.â
Shane laughed too. âTell me about it.â He felt better already. But then, he always felt better no matter what, when he spoke to his mother. âIâll talk to you on Sunday, Ma.â
âOkay, hon,â Sylvia said softly.
âTake good care of yourself okay?â
âI always do. Itâs you Iâm worried about.â
âThereâs nothing to worry about. Say hi to everyone.â
âWill do. Bye son.â
âBye Ma,â Shane responded and hung up.
His mother lived in New York where she was busy with her charity work. She helped widows who were in need, to get back on their feet. Shane made sure his mother had enough funds to do whatever made her happy. Sylvia Lewis deserved to be happy after all the hardships they had gone through. She lived in a big house that heâd built for her, with two of her relatives and two ladies who took care of the housework. Of course, his mother had maximum security, which she didnât think was important anyway.
But Shane had insisted, telling his mother he would sleep better at night knowing she was safe. Who would even want to harm such a sweet person anyway, Shane smiled. But he didnât want to take any chances. People could act crazy. His mother, bless her heart, always had people over in the house simply to give them hot meals so the house was always full anyway. It made her happy and that was all that mattered to Shane.
Shane left his study for his bedroom with a smile on his face. Talking to his mother always made him smile. He had totally forgotten about his problems till his eyes fell on the framed drawing of himself on his bedside table. He stared at the framed picture. Chris! Shane remembered that drawing as if it had been drawn the very day before. He remembered clearly the look on Chrisâ face as he drew that picture of him, years ago.
Chris had actually grinned the whole time because of how Shane had posed. The smile on Shaneâs own face said it allâ¦he had been very happy. If only he had kept his hands to himself, Shane thought dejectedly as he reached out to pick up the frame. After staring at it for a while, he placed it face down on the side table.
That drawing had helped Shane over the years. Heâd had nightmares every night since that fateful night. In fact, he was used to them as they had become part of his nightly routine. He could remember all those times his mother had had to soothe him throughout the night. Heâd had to live off-campus when he went to college because he didnât want to become a laughing stock because of his nightly screams. The advantage of living alone was that no one would witness his shame.
His dreams were always different but they always ended in the same wayâ¦with Chris Donovan trying to kill him. Whenever he came awake and saw that picture of himself, the bad dreams just faded away because somehow, he convinced himself that a monster wouldnât make him look so happy as he was in that drawing. After heâd convinced himself, whilst looking at that drawing the whole timeâ¦that Chris was no monster, he would go right back to sleep.
His motherâs suggestion that he consult a shrink was gradually looking very attractive because for the past two days since seeing Chris, Shaneâs dreams had become even scarier. Heâd woken up drenched in sweat and breathing harshly in the past two nights because in his dreams, he couldnât breathe. As if that wasnât enough, Chris had to show up in his office that afternoon. What the fuck had the man been thinking, Shane asked himself for the umpteenth time.
That he would welcome him with open arms like an old friend? Heâd fucked up his life for fuckâs sake.
He couldnât even enter into a relationship for fear of scaring people off with his constant nightmares.
How many grown men woke up to their own screams every night? As for sexual preference, Shane had never looked twice at another male since that fateful night. Once bitten twice shy, right?
Shane went to take a shower and went to lie in bed. He knew sleep was not going to come anytime soon so he just stared at the ceiling, thinking about the look on Chrisâ face when heâd ordered him out of his office that afternoon. Heâd never felt so much anger like he had that afternoon. The impudence!
Was Chris for real? But then heâd always been daring even when they were kids. And it had been one of the many things Shane had admired about him. Shane groaned, knowing that the last thing he should be doing was thinking about things he admired about Chris. He knew he had to focus on the problem at hand instead.
For some reason, no matter how much heâd hated what Chris had done to him, Shane couldnât bring himself to hate Chris. He had never wished for anything bad to happen to Shane. He just never wanted to ever be anywhere near Chris that was all. Shane hoped Chris wouldnât make the mistake of coming near him again because he seriously didnât want his already fucked up brain to get even more fucked up. He would try and endure it if he had to be in the same room with Chris if it was for business, but nothing more.
Shane eventually drifted off to sleep only to wake up about twenty minutes later, gasping for breath.
This time Shane didnât reach for the framed drawing. He left his bed and went into his study to work. It looked like even after all the years, Chris Donovan had the power to make his life hell.
Shit!