They walked back between hordes of people. Aurelie watched her feet to not tread on any heels. Nick fiddled with a button on his sleeve, letting out a long drawn out sigh every few steps or looking at her intently to try and catch her eyes. He had wanted to say something ever since they started their journey back to Peter's house but she was having none of it. Why did she have to catch onto his petty signs? She was naïve, after all. It surprised her that he thought she'd catch on to the signs at all.
Children ran circles around them, pretending to zap each other with their new wands. The crowd roared in excited chatter as purple and green light illuminating every face. Nick sighed again, and Aurelie felt his gaze on her before his head dropped back to that damned button on his sleeve.
The ball in her pocket chilled a spot on her hip. Since the red marked wizards departed all her energy seemed to have drained away with them. She did not have the patience to put up with Nick, counting the steps until they got home and she could pass out on the couch.
"You know when you disappeared?" he asked. "Did something happen to you?"
Aurelie wondered if he had seen something after all and decided to keep it from her. She did not feel like sharing what happened. A child giggled and ran through the space between them. She was glad for the interruption. It gave them both something to focus on other than her lack of an answer.
"Hmmm?" Nick pushed.
Now, it was Aurelie that fiddled, making sure to stay away from the frozen ball in her pocket. Nick had been good to her the last couple of days, but that did not mean that she had to share all her secrets. And their earlier conversation left her suspicious of his character. No, not everyone bent the truth, certainly not a truth that painted an entire Kingdom as inherently evil from its core. As far as she was concerned, he already knew too much about her life anyway.
"I was just lost in the crowd. The line moved and I wandered, I suppose."
Nick stopped, and nodded, raising his brows in a mock gesture of belief. "That's fine. You don't have to tell me. However, just in case something did happen, I'd like to suggest that you do not trust whatever it was blindly."
Aurelie turned around. In any other instance, she would be insulted that he insinuated that she would be so foolish, but there was something in his voice that suggested he knew more about her odd encounter than he had previously led on. "Go on."
"So there was something," he said and walked up to her. "Doesn't matter." Nick placed a hand on her back and steered her forward. "I can't speak freely here."
Aurelie looked around for anyone suspicious. People held hands, and shared Potions, while children ran around them pulling their faces, and chanting spells, with pointy hats on their heads that at any moment could fall right over their faces. None of them looked too suspicious, but Aurelie had been fooled before, and people died. She closed her eyes for a moment and forced the memories away.
Once Kirin woke up, she'd allow herself to dwell on the past, and for the pain and loss to overtake her. For now, she'd pretend that she was someone else. Perhaps, a villager in Redayrah that went to festivals and wore fancy dresses. Anyone but Aurelie Dranoir, a supposed queen who led her only friends to their deaths, and ran away as the King came to take her only remaining family members.
The scales covering her ribs, wizards cornering her, and a portal between foreign lands did not help to keep the charade alive. She took a large steady breath and tried to focus on the happy energy of the people around her. Shivers ran through her hands, and the right side of her head heated. She took another breath and tried to compose what was left of her thoughts.
"Aurelie," Nick called from behind her.
She turned and saw him standing by Donahue's house, at least a couple of meters behind her. Since she woke up and drank the vial, her thoughts had been covered in a layer of thick fog. The new land with all its diversity had kept her attention, and she was all too glad for it. But as she walked up to Nick and looked around at what was new and fascinating to her a week ago, the veil fell, and she was back to sinking into the deep hole inside her chest.
Her lips quivered, and her eyes stung. Any release would have sufficed, she welcomed the damned tears, but they were stuck. She gasped and held her hand over her stomach. Aurelie's mind fixated on the same phrase. It grew louder until her ears filled up as if she had dove underwater. Beating her chest with her hand, she paced around, bumping into people that passed.
"Come on," Nick said and led her inside with a hand firmly on her shoulder. He sat her down on the couch and rubbed her back. "Breathe." He swept his hands toward his face and inhaled. "Aurelie, breathe." Nick repeated the motion, gesturing for her to follow his lead.
Aurelie covered her face with her hands and dropped down into her lap. "You've nâno idea wâwâwhat I've caused," she said and gasped.
A tingling sensation crawled over her neck and spread to her scalp. "I led them all to die. I could have," she sniffed, and wiped her nose with her sleeve, "I could hâhave stopped Kirin from taking me back to them. I could have given myself up. He only wanted me."
"The rebellion in Highfire has been on the rise since before you could read," he said, rubbing her back in a circular motion. "I might not know everything, but we've heard about the battle. Refuge seekers arrive in Redayrah on a daily basis, and they've been coming for years. They come in packs, sometimes more than a hundred a day. Soon, we'll have to send them away. The people who fought with you wanted to stay. They wanted a war, and were ready to die long before you were even in the picture." Sitting down beside her, Nick tried to pull her upright. "Aurelie, look at me."
She sat up and wiped her eyes. Letting the dread inside her out, released some of the weight that crushed her chest. Every day since it happened, she had tried to remain calm, to suppress the memories and the feeling that accompanied them. Just like that, it all came crashing down, and if Kirin didn't wake up in the next few daysâhours, she was not sure how she'd be able to get through the coming days.
"Nick, stop," she whispered, and leaned back. "I'm not looking someone who would tell me that it wasn't my fault. I know how long the rebellion has been going on for." She closed her eyes to hold back the tears. "I had a responsibility to keep them safe, and I failed. They would have stood a better chance without me there. I'm sorry that you have to see me in a state again. I think I just needed someone to listen." Aurelie dropped her head back and scanned the ceiling. "I'm alright now, I think." She wasn't but she didn't want him to stay and pity her either.
"But it wasn't your fâ
Aurelie straightened and held out her hand to silence him. "Please, don't." Before she had lost her wits, there was something that he was going to share, and she desperately needed to change the topic before she crawled up into a ball at Kirin's feet. "You wanted to tell me something earlier?"
"Alright..." He shrugged. "It has to do with my father. I told you that he made me come back here, and specifically to take you to the festival. When you first mentioned that something odd happened, I didn't really think much of it, but then the way he ordered me to take you there came to mind. And..." He looked up at her, frowning. "Let me put it this way, if people knew of his true doings, there would be a rebellion in Redayrah too."
Aurelie nodded and thought back to the people that surrounded her at the festival. They didn't look like a group that would help a person in need, but they did.
"We can't be sure that he was involved, and if he is, you'll be relieved to know that it helped me. Generously, if I may add."
Nick leaned forward and rested his chin in his palm. He seemed less convinced now than before. A large dent formed between his eyebrows, and his stare turned blank. "In Highfire, I can see how you'd be recognized, but here? Your scales are hidden, you haven't used your magic, and you've been locked away here out of sight. Who could have known what you look like or that you were even in Redayrah?"
"What about Peter? He could have told someone. Perhaps, they heard about what happened in Highfire and connected the dots."
Nick shook his head. "No, Peter is away at the lake when he's not here. He hardly talks to anyone but me, and a servant of ours brings over his groceries every week. Plus, he cares about him." He lifted his chin in Kirin's direction. "I doubt he'd do anything that would do him harm. Spreading news that a dragon is here would most certainly do you all harm. As of late, me included. It had to be my father."
Aurelie crossed her legs and interlaced her fingers. "If it was him, I don't know why he did it, but he helped me. More than I can tell you."
"I really hope so, Aurelie. Knowing my father though," Nick tilted his head, and raised his brows, "he's getting something out of it. I'm afraid to ask who's granting his reward."
"I don't have enemies other than the King." She shrugged. "And I don't see him giving me a tool to defeat him." Aurelie cursed herself for revealing the existence of the portal. It was always her big mouth that caused most of her problems. The wizards should have given her a way to seal her lips if they were indeed interested in seeing her succeed.
"That good, huh?" A dong sounded outside, and Nick rose to his feet.
"What is it?" The sound repeated eleven more times.
"Midnight, and my queue to leave." He made his way toward the door and turned. "It sounds too good, Aurelie. A random meeting in a crowded place with an easy way out, and right after the loss that you suffered. It seems like someone is trying to make you act rash in the midst of your circumstance. I'm not telling you to snap the branch that broke your fall, but don't make it the only one carrying your weight."
"Wait." Aurelie wrapped her hands around herself. Nick couldn't possibly know what she was going through, and what the portal meant to her. She wouldn't go as far as saying that it made the sacrifices of her allies worth it, but it sure gave her a way to avenge them. This time she wouldn't be a scared girl alone in the woods. "Why are you helping me?"
Nick gave her a rugged smile and reached for the door handle. "There's something about you, dragon, that I just can't seem to shake off." He shrugged. "You've grown on me."
Aurelie shook her head and stood. "No, that's not it. I did not charm you into betraying your father."
"I haven't betrayed anyone." He winked and pointed at the bag that he had brought earlier. "There are some fresh clothes. I'll come back in the next few days."
"I'll never trust you if you're not honest with me." Aurelie ran her fingers through her hair, pushing back her fringe, and countered him with a sharp stare. The jolt of his attractiveness had long worn off, and his smile and compliments would not work on her as she was sure worked on many others. Not because she was somehow immune to his allure, but simply because no one could ever substitute Kirin. He dominated her very existence, and no one could ever break past the cage he built around her heart.
Nick sighed, opening the door. Taking a step forward, he bent his head down in defeat. "Fine," he said. "Helping you is a way for me to make up for all the things I've ignored in the past. I am to take my father's job one day. Commander Hart has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?" He smiled, but that quickly turned into a purse of disgust. "I can't do it knowing that I've betrayed everyone I was meant to protect," he added and glanced back at her. "Happy?"
There were a lot of things that she hadn't asked, but so far she liked the very few answers she had received. "Yes."
"That's a first." He smirked, and walked out, closing the door behind him.
"Bye." She shouted at the closed door and rolled her eyes. Nick was a born charmer. The sort of man her uncle had warned her about. Nonetheless, she was glad to have him around. Whether she trusted him or not was a completely different question. And the answer was simple, no matter how much she wanted to believe him, there would always be a sliver of doubt accompanying all of his information. There were two people left alive that she trusted. One was locked away in the Dragon King's castle, and the other lay on the couch in front of her. There would have been four more, but they seemed to have fled.