Fate was a funny thing. Aurelie was faced with a few options. One of them was torturing Karah. Though that seemed more like a passing idea than a possible pursuit. The people at the inn fought for their families and friends. Karah wanted to fight for her homeland. She was a patriot in a personal exile and now finally had an end to that in sight. Aurelie understood that there were few things short of death that would change Karah's mind.
Her other option was to commit acts that would change fate. If she was planning to turn right, for example, she'd suddenly turn left and change the direction of her life. Follow the path less taken, if you will. Problem with that was that she couldn't know whether fate had already taken her possible decision to do this into consideration. The actual answer, then, would be to act normally. This whole thing was doing her head in. How could she possibly know?
Aurelie walked back in a trance. When she reached for the door handle, the entire journey had been lost to her. She couldn't remember anything that happened around her between Karah's shop and Peter's house.
Karah had all but told her that Kirin was doomed. Yet, she didn't use those words exactly, which, of course, told Aurelie that something could be done. Yes, she gave her a suggestionâMaybe if you loved him less, Aurelie thought with a lump in her throatâbut if that could change the wheel of fate, surely something a little less bloody impossible could change it too. Because telling someone to just stop loving or to love less was like telling them to break a rock with a snowflake.
"Where have you been?" Kirin stood in the doorway that led into to the kitchen, holding a wooden spoon.
Aurelie jerked in place at his sudden appearance. "Oh, I thought you'd be asleep."
"Sneaking out?" Kirin asked, and crossed his arms. "Gods," his hand reached for his chest, and his eyes widened playfully, "it's not another man, is it?"
If it were that simple, Aurelie thought, she'd get two lovers and a husband to top it off. The truth was far worse. After all the times she's romanticized death by saying that they would be each other's end, she might have actually been right. Darkness rolled over her soul, like a thick smoke, destroying all light and violating the air. She'd have shivered with fear but he might have seen that and so she put on her brightest smile and buried the day behind it.
Aurelie closed the door behind her. "I can barely handle you, never mind two of you!"
"So where were you then?"
Aurelie held up the vial Karah had given her and placed it on the dining table. "I went to see a healer."
Kirin shook his head and approached her. "I thought I said no healers." He picked up the vial and examined it. "Where did you find the coin for this?"
"She gave just gave it to me."
Kirin smirked and squinted at her as if she had been some little girl that had almost fallen for the tricks of a stranger with candy. "No one here just gives things away. What did she want?"
Aurelie scratched the back of her head and sat down on the nearest chair. "I have to take her to a ball." She picked up the bottle and held up against one of the candles. Tiny bubbles floated in the rich yellow liquid, an effect that she had previously observed when mixing oils and acidic liquids.
"A ball? What would you be doing at aâ" his eyes widened, "please don't tell me that you told her who you were?"
"Sometimes, Dohanue, I think that you take me for the biggest fool you've met." Aurelie's tongue was sticky and her throat dry. She hadn't had a drink all day, and the thought of food made her stomach rumble. "No, I didn't tell her who I am . . . I didn't need to. She already knew."
Aurelie watched him fade three shades lighter in complexion. "What?" He grabbed her arm and yanked her up. "Then we must leave."
The sheer strength that it took to lift her was impressive. All this time she thought that he wasn't getting his strength back, and he and here he was, lifting her off chairs and nearly leaving bruises on her arm. She smiled, getting her lips to stay up was way harder than it should have been. "You're getting your strength back."
Kirin frowned. He glanced in her direction, but it was as if he was looking past her. "I . . ." His hand caressed her cheek. "I hadn't even given what you must be going through a thought. I'm fine, Aurelie. Getting stronger every day. You mustn't worry." His expression was that of a man who had forgotten a word that was on the tip of his tongue and had it suddenly return. Kirin saw her, really saw her, for the first time since he came out of his near-deadly slumber.
His hand lowered from his cheek to her chin. He lifted her head up and examined her face.
"You, on the other hand, look like you need to rest."
"Kirin, I'm fine. I just need to get something to eat. I've been on my feet all day." His eyes moved from the blue rings around her eyes and chapped lips, to the muscles on her shoulders that stood high as a mountain from the strain.
"I am a man," he said, with a bitter sternness. "I have to take her for you."
Aurelie snorted. "Ugh, don't you even start with me. Man, woman, I'll take care of myself and of you if I please." She stood from the chair, but Kirin did not move. "I am more thanâ"
He interrupted her rant with a firm kiss, and held the back of her head, presumably so that she wouldn't move, not that we wanted to either way. His face was rough from lack of shaving and scratched her chin and her upper lip.
Kirin's fingers curled between strands of her hair, and the tip of his tongue lightly ran over her upper lip. Their lips parted, and he took a step back keeping his eyes on her. "I know you can take care of yourself but you shouldn't have to with me around. You take care of me and I'll take care of you, okay?"
Tracing her mouth with her fingertips, she was finally able to close it and come back to her senses. The kisses were no longer rare, in fact, he kissed her more than he spoke to her these days. No matter how many times they occurred, it always felt like the very first time. As if her insides wanted to flee her body, and crawl into him. She had forgotten whether she ought to have been mad. Everything ended with a kiss.
"You're a cheat," she said and picked up the vial. "Open your mouth, this is your punishment."
Kirin chuckled and held out his tongue. Aurelie popped off the cork, and let a drop of liquid fall onto his tongue.
His entire face creased, as he moved his jaw from side to side to get rid of the taste. "Ugh..."
"That'll teach you."
"Teach me what?" he asked, wiping at his eyes which were now forming tears. "That I should lock you inside, so you don't go out finding poison?"
Aurelie laughed and tapped his shoulder. "Complain all you like, you're drinking that three times a day until the vial is empty."
"Oh no, I am not." He reached for the vial, but Aurelie grabbed it and held it behind her back. "I'll do a great many things for you but I'm doing that . . . ever."
"You're not getting it."
"Really?" He smirked and launched toward her.
She ran but was pulled back by her dress. Turning to her left, she made Kirin lose his grip. "Stop it!" she commanded between giggles and ran for the couch. Kirin grabbed her around the waist and picked her up. She kicked and sent him off balance. They landed on the couch, Aurelie sitting with her back to Kirin. She gripped the vial with all her strength and fought off his hands with her arms and elbows.
Aurelie hid the vial between her breasts, keeping it steady in place with her corset. "I win," she proclaimed and relaxed her body against his chest. "So, three drops a day for you, sir."
Kirin peaked over her neck. His one hand reached all the way around her and sealed the movement of her hands. "I play dirty," he whispered, his warm breath caressing her neck.
Kirin's free hand moved toward the vial, setting sparks to every part of her it passed. Aurelie's breath halted and she sank into him. The movement slowed. He was no longer searching but exploring. Aurelie leaned her head down to his shoulder and felt his lips slide across her neck. His free hand traced the roundness of her breast, while the other released her arms and moved down her waist.
Aurelie gasped, finally remembering to take a breath, and reached her hand back to touch his face. His mouth parted, and she felt a dampness form as his tongue made rings across her neck. Her body moved to his touch as if they were somehow linked, and he held strings that pulled her.
Kirin curled his fingers over her breast and moved up toward her neck. With one quick pull, the vial was out. "See," he said and gave her neck one quick peck.
Aurelie sighed and leaned forward to stand. Frustration felt like too weak a word to describe her feelings. He pulled her back against his chest and pressed his lips to her ear. "Turn around."
Aurelie did as she was told. He helped lift her right knee over him so that she sat entirely upon him. Her hands shook and her heart made her feel as if she was falling. There was a fear inside her unlike any other she had ever felt and a nauseating nervousness. Yet, it all somehow managed to be pleasant all at once.
Kirin placed his hands on either side of her face, surely stricken by the wideness of her eyes that she couldn't overcome no matter how hard she tried to shut them.
"I love you," he said, placing extra stress on each word as if he was about to give his life for her, "more than life itself. You fill my thoughts and my dreams. I can't imagine spending my life without you. I want you beside me, always."
Aurelie leaned down and gently kissed his lips and ran a hand through his hair while he talked.
"Marry me."
Aurelie smiled and shook her head. "And how would we do that?"
"Easy," he said, watching her intently. "There's a holy man I know from when I was a child and we still lived here. He'll not ask questions about you if I tell him not to. He should . . ." Kirin looked to his side, contemplating something, "still be alive."
"You're serious?" she asked as her heart leaped into her throat.
"If you'll have me."
She kissed him again and again. "I'll have you," she said finally and pursed her lips.
Everything had seemed like it was hidden behind a wall of the war. She would be happy after the war. She would have children after the war. She would settle after the war. Never did it occur to her that things could happen during. She did not want to ask questions about the logistics, the priest or the dangers. She just wanted to say yes and revel in her happiness. Nothing was more important to her than being bound to Kirin. Not in that moment or in any that would come after. Her heart was already his and now he could know that she gave him her soul as well.