Chapter 5: Ch-5 My Glorious Rise to Rank 1

Alright, it's time to kickstart my meteoric rise to the top. I've been a disciple for a while now, and let’s face it, I’m still embarrassingly bad at pretty much everything. I can barely remember the basics of my cultivation techniques, and just yesterday, someone pointed out that I’ve been holding my sword upside down during sparring. Classic me.

Today, I overheard some of the higher-ups talking about a “secret mission.” Now, do I have any clue what this mission is about? Of course not. But if there’s even the tiniest chance it could get me closer to a proper cultivation class, I’m in.

So, I do what any genius would do: I walk straight up to the head disciple, who’s mid-conversation, and casually ask, “Hey, what’s the secret mission?”

He glares at me like I just insulted his entire bloodline. “That’s none of your business, idiot.”

Alright, fair enough. Time for Plan B. I recall hearing rumors about a legendary herb in the forest that’s supposed to massively boost dual cultivation. Do I know anything about herbs? Not really. But I’ve seen people make potions, so how hard could it be?

I drop a casual mention of the herb. “Oh, you mean the Moonlight Herb?” I say, trying to sound like I totally know what I’m talking about. “Yeah, I know about that. I could help the sect leader get his hands on it if you want.”

The head disciple narrows his eyes at me, clearly trying to decide if I’m serious or just insane. Finally, he hands me a map. “Fine. Go find it. If you come back alive, maybe you’ll actually be useful for once.”

“Sure thing!” I grin, pretending I’m not already regretting every life choice that led me to this moment.

The Search for the Moonlight Herb

With the map clutched tightly in my hands, I venture into the forest like a man on a mission. Half an hour later, I’m completely lost. The map? Useless. My sense of direction? Nonexistent.

But then, amidst the endless sea of greenery, I spot it, it's a plant with shiny leaves. This has to be it! I think. The legendary Moonlight Herb!

Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.

I grab the glowing plant with all the confidence of someone who has no idea what they’re doing and march back to the sect, holding it high like I’ve just found the Holy Grail.

The head disciple takes one look at it and sighs. “This is just some random weed. What the hell are you doing?”

I blink. “No, no, this is definitely it. Look at the glow!”

He looks at me, clearly debating whether or not to throw me out of the sect right then and there. But then, he tilts his head, examining the weed more closely. “Wait... this is actually kind of useful for one of our potions. Maybe you can be useful for some of the sect's mission. You can take part in the sect’s missions from now on if you want."

Taking a pen out and writing a letter but his handwriting was so bad that even pharmsicit's would have problem decoding it.

But...Wait, what? Why is the writer so generous today? Did he get laid or something.

Forget it it's time for 'My Glorious Promotion'

Somehow, I’ve done it. I didn’t find the Moonlight Herb, but I still managed to be helpful. I rush to the Hall of Records, the letter of recommendation burning a hole in my pocket. This is it. My chance to finally rise above being “that idiot who sweeps the floors.”

The clerk at the desk looks up as I approach, his expression screaming “I don’t get paid enough for this.” I hand him the letter, trying to show confidence. He glances at it, mutters something under his breath, and then looks me over like he’s deciding whether or not to laugh.

“So, this is the guy, huh?” he says to no one in particular. Then, louder: “Alright, you’re eligible to take sect missions from now on.”

A big grin spreads across my face. This is it! Promotion! Recognition! Finally, I’m on my way to greatness.

Then he slides a small parchment across the desk. “Rank 1. Take it or leave it.”

My grin falters. “Rank 1?” I repeat, hoping I heard him wrong. “You mean... the very bottom?”

“Yep,” the clerk says, deadpan. “You’re lucky you even got that. Rank 1 is where you start. You can take missions now, but don’t expect anything exciting. It’s all grunt work from here.”

I stand there, holding the parchment like it’s both a blessing and a curse. Rank 1. It sounds so... unimpressive. But it’s still something. Better than sweeping floors, right?

And maybe this it the chance for me to get recommended and could finally take classes. As I leave the Hall of Records, the weight of Rank 1 settles over me like a wet blanket. It’s not glamorous, it’s not exciting, and it’s definitely not what I had in mind when I pictured my rise to greatness. But it’s a start. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned today, it’s that I can turn even the dumbest of situations into something useful.

One step at a time. Maybe, just maybe, I can turn this rank into something more. Until then... I guess I’ll just keep being the idiot who somehow stumbles his way forward.