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Ch27: Love, Nathan
"Death is something we will never understand and its somethimg we have to accept."
"I know."
"One day you will die and the only thing you will hope for is for those who love you to accept your death and move on."
"Of course."
"Do you think those who you love hoped for the same?"
"Yes."
"Have you moved on?"
"No and I don't think I ever will."
"Why do you think that? "
"Because we do not move on from death we only learn to accept it and work with the pain it leaves behind...We do not move on."
"Do you accept it?"
"I don't know."
***
Day 109
It's been two weeks since Nathan died.
Two weeks.
His funeral was yesterday and I couldn't attend because here I am stuck inside San Francisco jail.
Although, I think Nathan's death might have changed my mother for the better. She's been coming to see me every other day and bringing money as well as food and blankets.
"You have a visitor," the gaurd yells opening the door to my cell and I stand up rubbing off the imaginary dirt on my orange pants.
"Who is it?" I ask.
"Some girl," she replies annoyed "do you want to go out or not?"
Girl?
It's probably Alisson.
She's been coming to see me twice a week as well and for the first I think we're starting to get along.
Sad to think that Nathan didn't get to see this.
"Yeah," I walk out of my cell and make my way down the hallway with different cells on each side. I can see everyone looking at me with either envy, hate, or simple unintrest.
So far I haven't made any enemies and hopefully I never do. I think I have my reputation to thank for that.
I'm the women who brutally stabbed her fiancee and escaped the cops for three years.
It isn't true of course, but who am I to correct them?
We reach a big wired fence door and the guard slides her ID in the lock to open it. I walk inside the grey room surrounded by different gaurds leaning against the walls and inmates sitting down talking to visitors through the clear glass seperating them.
"Right there, " the gaurd points at an empty seat facing a short blonde girl with bright red lipstick and a smug smirk on her face.
Macy.
I calmly make my way towards the empty seat and pick up the cell phone needed in order to converse across the clear glass seperating us.
"Macy," I say.
"Lydia," she smiles before laughing "I'm sorry I forgot your name's Abrelle. "
"That's right," I smile "I'm Abrelle Louise."
"I heard you were shot, " she frowns "how are you doing?"
"Fine," I answer.
It was true. My stiches were going to get taken off in two weeks and they said I'd be pretty much good to go.
"I'm glad, " she says, a fake big smile on her face "so when do you get convicted for murder?"
What?
"I'm sorry," she laughs again "I can be so clumsy. I meant to say when is your trial?"
Okay, I'm done beating around the bush.
"Why are you here?" I ask.
"Getting straight to the point, are we?" she smirks. "Okay, I just came to inform you that me and Elliot are moving to England together."
Me and Elliot are moving to England together.
Her words repeat in my head over and over again.
It doesn't matter, right? He'll be far away from me and that's exactly what I want.
"Is that all you came for?" I chuckle "to tell me that you and Elliot are leaving?"
"His dad is offering him a contract to run the new company branch he's opening in England," she continues "and of course I was offered a job and we both said yes. We'll be leaving in four months."
"Congratulations, " I say standing up "hopefully you both have a great life in England."
"We will," she answers "and he'll forget all about you."
"I'm sure he will," I hang up the phone and make my way out of the room.
Me and Elliot are moving to England together.
Good for him, right?
***
I was sitting alone in one of the tables inside the room that was the closest place to a cafeterÃa the jail has.
"Abrelle," a short lady sits down in front of me. She has white short curly hair, and a kind face covered in wrinkles, but you could see the toughness in her eyes.
"Yes," I reply politely.
"I'm your new roomate," she smiles "but I don't want any trouble. "
"I don't either," I smile back "I'm glad we agree on that."
"I've heard stories about you," she says "and not very pleasant ones, but their good for jail."
"Yeah I've heard them too," I take a deep breath "and people avoid me because of them."
"That's good," she nods "it keeps you out of trouble, but it also makes you enemies."
"So far I don't have any."
"That you know of," she looks around the room as if searching for someone "but I heard that Bull wants your head."
"Who?" I ask.
"Bull is the tall girl standing on the left side corner of the room," she discretely looks towards her and I do the same.
Bull is a hispanic women who looks around six feet tall with large toned arms, and an oversized shaved head. On her left arm I can see the tatto of a dragon breathing out flames and on her right arm is a picture of the Virgin Mary surrounded by flowers. Around her are other rather large intimidating inmates.
"Why does she dislike me?" I ask. "I didn't do anything to her."
"In here its all about reputation and who ever has the most intimidating is top notch," she explains. "You are top notch Abrelle. You killed a 6'1 tall man who weighed 250 pounds of muscle with a kitchen knife and ran from the cops for three years."
"I don't want to be top knotch," I say looking at Bull nervously.
"Everyone wants to be top notch," she says and then she suddenly looks at me with realization. "You really didn't do it."
Of course not, but can I admit it?
The only reason people don't bug me is because of my reputation, but if I admit that it's all a lie everyone will eat me alive.
I don't want that.
"I did do it," I lie sounding as assuring as I can.
"Then why you plead innocent? "
How does she know that?
"I have my ways of finding out," she smirks reading my thoughts "and I know that you claimed to be innocent I just didn't think it was true."
"It's not," I continue to lie "but who wants to spend the rest of their life here."
"Good point," she smiles and then her smile dissappears.
"What is it?"
"Time to prove your top notch," she says looking at someone behind me. I quickly turn around and see Bull making her way towards me.
Crap.
***
Day 110
I reach the big wired fence door and the guard slides her ID in the lock to open it. I walk inside the grey room surrounded by different gaurds leaning against the walls and inmates sitting down talking to visitors through the clear glass seperating them.
The gaurd told me two women were here to see me, but as I reach my seat I realize it's two men.
Noah and Elliot.
"What are you guys doing here?" I ask through the cell phone.
"What happened to you Abrelle?" Elliot exclaims.
Why is he asking?
Well, let's just say I'm no longer top knotch. Bull made sure to prove to everyone that she was capable of whooping my ass. Of course with the help of three other people, not that they made a very big difference.
"Oh nothing," I answer bitterly "I just crashed into a pole and got a black eye with a busted lip. What do you think happened? "
"We have something for you," Noah says ignoring my comment and taking out a white envelope.
"I don't want anything from you guys," I shake my head.
"It's not from us," Noah speaks pushing the envelope through a small rectangular hole at the bottom of the glass wall seperating us.
"Its from Nathan, " Elliot says and I look at them shocked.
"Nathan's dead," I speak loudly "so I have no idea what your talking about."
"We spoke to him the morning he died Abrelle," Elliot explains.
Suddenly I remember talking to nurse Abigail that morning and wondering whether she had lied to me about their visit with Nathan.
Yeah," she continues "they even went in to see him earlier."
What?
"Really," I raise my brows "why?"
"I don't know," she quickly replies and for I second I see a flash of guilt in her eyes, but its quickly gone.
Is she lying to me?
"Abrelle he knew he wouldn't make it," Elliot continues "but he wanted to explain everything he could to you. He said he wanted to make things right."
"Its notarized," Noah smiles "so you can be sure its from him."
I take a deep breathe before opening the envelope and pulling out the white folded paper inside. As I unfold it I recognize the writting and the end of the last page at the bottom left corner I see the stamp and signature from the notary.
Dear Big sis,
If your reading this then I was right which means I'm dead. Now don't worry, I came to terms with the thought of dying, but I didn't want to go without explaining what I could.
Remember the day I went to ask you for help at San Cafe? Well, that day I wasn't in any need of actual help I just wanted to see my big sister. See all I truly wanted was a hug and maybe the possibility of you forgiving me, but you had every right to push me away. I betrayed every bit of trust you had in me and I'm just glad you forgave me before I died. At least I know I'll die with the satisfaction of knowing you believed in me again.
Anyways, that day before I went to see you I discovered something horrible. Something that both Alisson and Elizabeth kept from all of us.
Alisson is Stephan Ryder's daughter.
I overheard all of them talking about it like the 'perfect' family. Its least to say I was disgusted and it wasn't because their was something wrong with Alisson. It was because my mother had been cheating on my dad for years and he died without knowing. They lied to all of us Abrelle, for so many years. Our mother is a monster, but of course you already knew that.
I should have trusted you Abrelle. You always saw her true colors and I never believed you. I was stupid and gullible. No one wants to believe their mother is a monster so they close thier eyes to the truth, but I see eveything now.
Abrelle you can't trust them, no matter how much they pretend to change. All they want is for you to sign that stupid paper, but you can't do it Abrelle.
Do. Not. Sign. It.
Abrelle, the only people you can trust are ELLIOT and NOAH. They know what their doing and how to prove your innocent. Please listen to them Abrelle.
And never forget that your little brother will always be here for you, even when you can't see me.
Love, Nathan Louise
*
A/N: HAPPY EASTER!! love you all so much. Hope you enjoyed the chapter!
I'll update soon..
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Love, Pam