Chapter 195: Chapter 195

T/N: Please don’t read this chapter in public if you’re not good at holding yourself back, like me *wink*

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The Scarlet Scales Knight Order was using lodgings in an annex provided by the Imperial family. An ordinary Imperial knight would have been housed in his own residence or lodgings in the Empire, but the circumstances were different for the Scarlet Scales Knight Order.

Cadel was from the Empire, but he’d been exiled, Van was a homeless wanderer, and Lumen was from the Mainue Kingdom. Even Lydon was a different race altogether.

There were no proper lodgings for them in the Empire, but the knights of the Empire could not afford to travel from inn to inn. In the end, the Emperor himself took their plight into consideration.

‘Which way is it? I think it was through the garden over there.’

Cadel hurried towards his new lodgings. Since his subordinates’ rooms were all on one floor, he planned to bring them all together and explain their next mission.

But before he reached the annex, a figure grabbed Cadel’s ankle.

A large stone statue occupied the center of a small garden connected to the annex. The pure white stone statue made of marble was carved with the image of ‘Kelligan’, the guardian deity of the Seven Knights ‘Janin’ worshiped by the Empire.

Kelligan had a benevolent smile on his face, his eyes closed, his hands clasped together, praying for someone.

The soft moonlight poured down, caressing the delicate statue and the man before it, a shadowy figure blending into the darkness, a single ray of moonlight creeping over his shoulder.

‘……Lumen?’

He was a man who exuded noble elegance just from his standing posture. Cadel, who immediately recognized his identity, started walking, and Lumen’s head turned as he sensed his presence.

“……Leader.”

“What are you doing in a place like this?”

“As you can see, I’m looking at the statue.”

Lumen’s eyes narrowed slightly as he pointed to Kelligan’s statue. Cadel moved to his side, and together they looked up at the statue.

“Have you suddenly developed a sense of faith? Why did you come out this late at night to see the Guardian of the Empire?”

“Suddenly? I’ve always been a religious person, don’t you remember? Even before we entered the Forest of Enchantment, I was praying for Leader.”

“……Come to think of it, it did happen.”

“At that time, I prayed to the gods of the Mainue Kingdom and the White Kingdom. Should I pray to the god of the Empire from now on?”

It was a joking question, but Lumen’s face showed a hint of confusion as he said that. Cadel shifted his gaze and looked at Lumen’s profile. His face was as sculptural and beautiful as always, but his expression was filled with worry and his mood had become even darker.

Worry. He wondered what Lumen was worried about.

Suddenly, Cadel felt uneasy. Lumen had clearly spoken his mind. He said he wanted to be Cadel’s man, and he promised to leave everything behind to do so. Cadel didn’t doubt his sincerity. But now that he had left everything to come to the Empire. Didn’t he still regret his choice?

‘……It still doesn’t show up. That system window.’

He wondered if the unexpected news of Lumen’s joining might have something to do with his shadowy expression. Cadel felt a deep unease that threatened to overshadow the joy of their reunion.

He unnecessarily dug his nails into the palm. His eyes flicked to Kelligan’s statue, then back to Lumen, unable to contain himself. Still gazing up at the statue, Lumen’s beautiful face was lost in thought, refusing to meet Cadel’s earnest gaze.

“Don’t regret it.”

So Cadel blurted out. It wasn’t a question about whether Lumen regretted his choice, nor was it a plea for him not to do it. It was an order that was almost like a complaint, not to speak of regret.

Lumen’s gaze shifted, his blue eyes showing a bit of surprise, bewilderment, and a hint of amusement.

“Out of the blue?”

“You’re the one who had to give up everything you had, and honestly, I have nothing to gain. If you were to calculate the math, you would have lost a lot more without even looking at it. No one likes to lose, so it may feel unfair, but don’t…… don’t regret it.”

Cadel looked Lumen straight in the eye. He felt uneasy as if someone had poked him in the heart with a needle, but he tried not to show it.

“……I don’t. Regrets and all that.”

Lumen raised his hand to his scabbard out of habit. He raised his fingertips to touch it, as if to reveal a tingling emotion, and the corners of his tightly closed mouth drew into a faint arc.

“I don’t know why you thought that. Did I look like I regretted it?”

“You looked like you were miserable about something.”

“It’s a misconception, Leader. Just like when they see the ants by the road and say that it will rain soon*. I’m sure it’s the same this time.”

*The ants are often said to be able to predict the rain, but there’s no scientific evidence for this claim.

“……It’s a shame.”

Cadel couldn’t deny it, so he just frowned and heard a low laugh. Lumen lowered his eyes for a moment and pursed his lips, revealing his cautious thoughts.

“I was a little worried.”

“Worried?”

“If I somehow manage to shake it all off and run away with it, and I don’t prove to be worth it. My family will say Leader has ruined me, Leader will be disappointed in me, and you’ll think you’ve wasted your time waiting for someone who isn’t even that great.”

A timid worry, out of place, clouded Lumen’s expression. The dark emotion on his still picture-perfect, elegant face was precious because it was unfamiliar, and Cadel wanted to correct it because it was not like him.

The fact that Lumen, who was so confident in the face of danger at every turn, was letting such a trivial concern cloud his judgment. Cadel found it frustrating, but also quite endearing.

“So, on a late night like this, you were worrying while looking at the God of another country? Have you reached a conclusion?”

“Not yet.”

The questions that assailed Lumen, the nagging doubts, were all problems that he could not solve alone. You could reach out with all your might, but if there was no one to hold your hand, you’d just sink deeper and deeper into the mire. This remarkably noble and arrogant man was, to the point of ridiculousness, perpetually unsure.

Cadel had learned that the hard way, and he was confident he wouldn’t make a mistake this time.

“So let me conclude.”

Cadel reached for Lumen’s sword. Ignoring Lumen’s reflexive backing away, he drew Lumen’s own sword. Cadel twirled the blade lightly in the moonlight, then held it out to Lumen’s puzzled face.

“Appointment ceremony, is this how it works?”

Cadel roughly put the sword on Lumen’s shoulder and said something plausible. Lumen’s lips parted in a small smile as he realized the intent of Cadel’s muttered words. He paused, hesitated, and then a rippling smile spread across his face.

Lumen followed Cadel’s lead and dropped to one knee on the grass in the garden. He looked up at Cadel solemnly, his posture polite and respectful.

Cadel, too, gave Lumen a serious look that belied his clumsy behavior and raised the hilt of his longsword to Lumen’s shoulder.

“If you give me your loyalty, your honor, and all the struggles of your life, I will give you the—”

“…….”

“……What should I give you?”

He wanted to keep it natural, but it was hard to do an impromptu appointment ceremony. Cadel was embarrassed to have broken the atmosphere that had become quite solemn, but he steeled his expression and acted shamelessly.

“If you want something, I’ll listen.”

“……Even if you play this well, it’s like playing house, Leader.”

“Shut up. What could I do when I have only seen it once? Roughly match the rhythm.”n/ô/vel/b//in dot c//om

“No one in their right mind would offer a deal at an appointment ceremony.”

“Oh, well, if you don’t like it, don’t bother. You’re my knight, after all, no matter what anyone says—”

Lumen did not allow the messy appointment ceremony to come to a sloppy end. He rose from his kneeling position, pushed Cadel’s arm away from the sword, and with one hand on Cadel’s waist and the other on the back of his head, Lumen turned his head and pressed their lips together.

In a series of fluid movements, Cadel’s eyes fluttered open, unaware of what had happened to him. What was the meaning of the long lashes and half-lidded blue eyes, right in front of his nose? It wasn’t until he parted his lips that he realized the burning sensation.

Thud. The fallen sword clattered across the grass. Lumen took a step forward, and Cadel took a step back. But the firm arm around Cadel’s waist tightened around him each time as if it could not tolerate the slightest distance.

The hard bridge of Lumen’s nose lightly pressed against Cadel’s cheek and cheekbone. Soft lips pressed roughly against his, and without hesitation, tongue darting out to probe his teeth. Lumen changed his stance uncontrollably, raising his teeth and nuzzling Cadel’s lips, then gently sucking him as if to soothe him in pain.

Grabbing a fumbling hand and placing it on his shoulder, Lumen ruffled Cadel’s hair and nuzzled his smooth earlobe.

A relaxed hand plucked the earring that had been in Cadel’s ear the entire time. Lumen’s eyes glowed a radiant splendor as he lost himself in the kiss. His gaze fell on Cadel’s eyes, which were slowly changing color. Slowly, Lumen sucked in his lips and watched mesmerized as the dark gray eyes turned to a vivid bronze.

He met Cadel’s agitated gaze, curled his stiffened tongue around it, and buried his lips a little deeper. A wet, lustful sound rang in his ears. Cadel didn’t push him away, but he didn’t take him fully either. He looked frightened as if he were overwhelmed by the passion pouring into him.

It wasn’t upsetting, or sad. It was just lovely. That cautious affection of Cadel’s, so wary but never pushing himself away.

Their breathing grew steadily louder, warming each other’s bodies. Cadel’s hand holding Lumen’s shoulder tightened, and his body, which had been as stiff as a pumice stone, slowly began to relax. Cadel gently twisted his head from its forward fixation, allowing their lips to meet more comfortably.

Lumen, who had been persistently kissing Cadel as if he was going to devour him, flinched and stopped his actions. He stared into Cadel’s tightly closed eyelids, then slowly pulled his lips away.

A thin line of saliva dangled from the newly parted lips. Lumen traced Cadel’s lower lip with a firm thumb and caught the sight of him panting slightly. He kissed the corners of Cadel’s fluttering eyes, and beneath the carefully raised eyelids, the bronze-colored pupils were once again revealed.

What Lumen had waited for, so longed for. His eyes showed such a longing look, conveying that he would have given up everything to get what he wanted.

“You don’t have to give anything.”

“What…….”

“Leader, you just need to look at me. My loyalty, my honor, my life’s struggle…… everything. You just have to keep an eye on them.”

If you would just look at me. Lumen would stand by Cadel’s side forever. Even though he knew it was a ludicrously losing business, and that he would give it all away with foolish ease.

He couldn’t stop himself any longer.