* * *
After informing Van and Lumen that the matter was resolved, Cadel decided to take some time to himself. He needed time to collect his thoughts without interruption.
His destination was the beach adjacent to the harbor. As he sat on the sand and stared out into the night, his mind seemed to drift. Too many events had occurred in such a short period of time, and he felt like he was having a bad dream.
ââ¦â¦It must have been inevitable, right?â
When you ask yourself the question, you donât get an answer. It always did. The unanswered questions always left a dark mark on Cadelâs mind.
While meeting with his comrades towards the end of the story, their lives changed significantly due to the choices made by Cadel.
Van, who despised the nobility, was forced to work among them, and Lumen, who dreamed of taking revenge on his family, renounced his position in the family. Lydon, who should have inherited the throne of the Fairy King, fought on the side of the humans who had persecuted the fairies in the past, and Garuel, who died to protect those he loved, lived to see them hurt.
Unfortunately, Cadel could not accept all the changes positively. Nevertheless, he could not, even mistakenly, conclude that they would be happy because they had him.
That his existence would be a terrible misfortune for them. Cadel feared that.
He already cared for them. There was guilt in Cadelâs feelings for his subordinates, but there was also affection. He liked them, and there was nothing in this world more important than them.
Even more so, Cadel was at a loss.
âI have to go back. To my original world.â
He had to move forward with his original goal. Even as he had made up his mind, he kept thinking about his comrades who would remain in this world.
What happened to the world when he had gone? Would it ever be at peace? If the original Cadel Lytos returned, would he remember the memories with the remaining subordinates? If the original Cadel Lytos forgot them all and only remembered his first meeting with Van, there would be nothing worse than that.
Leaving this world meant that Cadel would be relieved of the responsibility of bringing his subordinates into the story. He would leave all responsibility here, and return to his own life. Back to where he belonged, alone, after changing their lives as he pleased.
ââ¦â¦Itâs once again the worst.â
He wanted to be at ease. If only he could see them as characters in a game. If only he hadnât given them his heart, and they hadnât given him theirs. If only he hadnât been forced to fight, and if only he hadnât been forced to live this life.
If he was going to be selfish, he wanted to be endlessly selfish. He didnât want to be this obscure piece of garbage.
âHaaâ¦â¦.â
The problem was that Cadel had gotten too attached. He didnât expect to feel this hesitant, but maybe it was better to keep his distance now, maybe it was better that way.
Lamenting, Cadel lay down on the sand and rubbed his face in annoyance. Suddenly, he noticed the Ring of Fate he hadnât yet removed. The red thread that led to it was calm.
âHe seemed pretty shocked.â
Cadel remembered Lydonâs face from the alleyway. Normally, Lydon would have used his face as a weapon to deflect the situation. This time, he was uncharacteristically looking at Cadel and begging for forgiveness but Cadel ignored and rejected his courage. He might have been hurt.
âI donât know what made me so angry.â
Now that his head had cooled down a bit, he realized that he had been too crude in his response. Cadel had taken that precious Prince and made him suffer, and he would continue to make him suffer. When Cadel thought about it, it was nothing to be angry about for that long.
Cadel laughed helplessly and gently turned the ring. He felt sorry when he thought of Lydon, who must have been depressed at the end of this thread.
And then, out of nowhere, an outstretched hand grabbed Cadelâs wrist. Startled, Cadel reflexively jerked upward, revealing the face of his opponent. It was the person who had been occupying his mind.
âLydonâ¦â¦?â
âDonât take the ring off.â
The unannounced appearance alone was startling enough. Cadel could not hide his embarrassment as Lydonâs face was distorted and sad, as if he was about to burst into tears.
âAreâ¦â¦ Are you cryingâ
âDonât take it off, Cadel. Donât abandon me. I was wrong, Iâm sorry.â
He hadnât meant to take the ring off in the first place, he was just twirling it around. Cadel blinked in confusion as he surveyed the condition of Lydon kneeling before him.
Transparent tears were hanging from the corners of his eyes, which were brightly curved every time. Even though Cadel tried to wipe away his tears, Lydon wouldnât let go of his wrist.
âI wonât do that again. Iâll listen to Cadel. Okay?â
âItâs notâ¦â¦.â
How long had Lydon been following him, what had he been thinking, and how could he have gotten the wrong idea about Cadel touching the ring? Cadel was dumbfounded, but he couldnât just sit there and be baffled. Lydonâs tears streaming down his face made him look like an abandoned child. Cadel couldnât believe he was feeling this way about a man who was over 190cm.
âYou come out of nowhere and say whoâs abandoning who? When did I say Iâm abandoning you? I said weâd talk about it later because I was angry. Where the hell did you come from?â
âYou told me to get out. You said you didnât want to hear anything I said.â
Cadel had never seen such a large man cry so desperately before. If it werenât for his adorable appearance, Cadel might have thought Lydon was an ugly crier.
Lydonâs voice was raspy and muffled from crying.
âYou acted like you never wanted to see me again.â
âThatâs just because Iâm angryââ
âI canât live without Cadel, but Cadel can live without me. You can abandon me, Cadel.â
ââ¦â¦What?â
âDonât throw me away. You canât leave me behind. Iâm sorryâ¦â¦.â
Lydon lowered his head and sobbed. With his eyes fixed on Lydonâs curly blonde hair, Cadel was completely speechless.
It was unlikely that Lydon knew what was troubling him. Cadel had never spoken of it, and he had never heard of fairies being able to read minds, so Lydon must just be saying what he felt. Nevertheless, Cadel felt dazed, as if heâd been hit over the head with sorrowful sincerity.
He suddenly became short of breath. His heart pounded, and a nameless emotion surged through him. Something heavy, almost impulsive, pounded in his chest. It was as if the threads that controlled Cadelâs body had snapped.
With a vicious twist of his gripped wrist, Cadel yanked it free and hugged the crouching Lydon tightly. There was a stirring of emotions that he couldnât bear to let go of.
âNo. Who said that? Who said Iâm abandoning you.â
âI told you I canât do anything without Cadelâ¦â¦.â
âI wonât throw you away. I wonât leave you behind. How can Iâ¦â¦.â
He couldnât leave. He couldnât keep his distance, and he couldnât let go of his affection. The damage was done.
Cadel bit his lip as if he was holding back the excruciating pain.
âItâs okay, Lydon. I wonât leave you. I wonât abandon you. Iâll always be here for youâ¦â¦ So donât cry.â
As he clutched desperately at the large man in his arms, he realized there was no turning back now. He was the same as Lydon. He couldnât be without them. He didnât want to go back to a life without them anymore. Heâd been in denial all this time, but in the end.
He wanted to be with them in this endless world.