* * *
The Empireâs most renowned healers were mobilized to treat Cadelâs unresponsive body. The diagnosis of mental problems, likely caused by the trauma of battle, did not deter the healers.
One week. For a full seven days, Cadel never regained consciousness. It was only because Kunra had kept his consciousness, but no one else knew that.
Lumen, Lydon, and Garuel stubbornly stayed by Cadelâs side as the healing took place. When they werenât practicing to relieve the uneasiness of the impending outburst or answering the Emperorâs call, they tried to stay as close to Cadel as possible.
There was still no word from Van or Yozen. Halfway through, Garuel said he would go find Van, but Lumen stopped him. They didnât even have room to look for Yozen.
The atmosphere in the Knight Order was heavy to say the least. No more of Lydonâs laughter, which always unintentionally lightened the mood, no more of the usual bickering, no more of Cadelâs imposing tactical meetings. Without anything, the Knight Order slowly stiffened.
And on the eighth day, to be exact. Cadel regained consciousness.
âCadel!â
âLeaderâ¦â¦!â
âKnight Commander, are you awake?â
At dawn, three men gathered in Cadelâs bedroom and surrounded him. Cadel blinked several times with a blank face, then glanced down at his subordinates, who all had impatient expressions.
âYouâ¦â¦.â
His mouth was so dry that it was hard to get a word out. Cadel cleared his throat and frowned, and Lumen handed him the water. Slowly, Cadel pursed his lips and exhaled deeply. His head felt heavy from lying so long.
âAm I back in the Empireâ¦â¦? How long have I been lying down?â
âOne week, that is.â
ââ¦â¦Iâve been lying down a long time.â
Cadel smiled bitterly as more time passed than expected. Although he had been warned by Kunra, he felt that not even a day had passed.
âWell. It was like that first dream. I met Kunra for a very short time, but when I woke up, it was morning.â
Lydon snatched up Cadelâs finished cup of water and tossed it haphazardly, then leaned forward to face him. His eyes were uncharacteristically worried.
âAre you okay, Cadel? Are you in any pain? What about your mana?â
âIâm fine. Were you worried?â
âIs that how you call that, Leader?â
âIt was a rewarding time that allowed me to feel my helplessness as a healer to the extreme.â
He could tell just by looking at them what they had been through over the past week, a time when he had been struggling to compose himself, but he had worried them without telling them.
Cadel decided to tell them a little lie to ease their worries.
âPartly because of my injury, but mostly because I met Kunra, or should I say, unconsciously made contact with him. I didnât realize a week had passed because the time passes differently in the real world.â
âWith that lizard? Why? Is he bothering you again?â
I think it was me that bothered him. After an awkward chuckle, Cadel shook his head.
âHe has something to tell me about the Demon Realm, and heâs helping me recover. â¦â¦Anyway, donât worry. I donât feel uncomfortable anywhere at all.â
Despite the suspicious glances, Cadel patted his chest to prove his health, and indeed, aside from a slight headache, his body felt light as air.
Only then did the restless subordinates relax their tense shoulders. Lydon even climbed into bed and snuggled up next to Cadel. Lumenâs nagging was neatly ignored.
Cadel gave Lydon a puzzled look as he snuggled into Cadelâs arms and closed his eyes. Lydonâs face, which seemed to have relaxed as if relieved, was now quite gaunt. Cadel gently wiped Lydonâs slightly rough cheek and quietly raised his head.
He glanced back and forth between Garuel and Lumen, his lips pursed as if he were hesitating over something. A figure he hadnât seen since the moment he first opened his eyes. He should ask for his whereabouts.
Unless Van was the only one missing, but even Yozen hadnât shown up, and he couldnât imagine that Yozen had left the Knight Order while he was unconscious.
Cadelâs nervousness was masked by his innocent tone.
âWhereâs Van and Yozen?â
The answer that would normally have come back was not heard. In the face of the two menâs dark expressions, Cadelâs ability to maintain his composure was nearly hopeless.
After being told of Van and Yozenâs whereabouts, Cadel was silent for a long time. Lumen and Garuel assumed it was because he was worried, but the truth was different. Cadel realized Van had âleftâ before anyone else.
He had cried a lot. From his subordinatesâ point of view, he had been crying nonstop for a whole week. That was enough. His feelings for Van, his pain, shouldnât have any impact on them.
Clearing his throat lightly, Cadel opened his mouth as nonchalantly as he could.
âYozen will be back on his own, heâs always been a free spirit, heâll come when he needs to, and Van isâ¦â¦.â
He cleared his throat and swallowed dryly. The words were harder to come out of his mouth than heâd expected. Cadel raked his fingers meaninglessly through Lydonâs hair as he burrowed into his arms, forcing the corners of his mouth to tug.
âHeâs left, no need to look for him.â
ââ¦â¦What? What do you mean he has leftâ¦â¦?â
Garuel gives him a dumbfounded look, not expecting to hear that from Cadelâs mouth. Only Lumen lowered his gaze in understanding. Cadel offered a simple excuse, one heâd been thinking about since before he woke up.
âItâs already over. Itâs because of Vanâs personal reasons, and I gave my permission.â
âEven so, heâs just gonna leave in the middle of a battle without even saying goodbye? Sir Van was the one who actually dealt with the dispenser. Maybe he was injured and couldnât join usââ
âGaruel.â
ââ¦â¦Knight Commander.â
âVan has left, and I know it was sudden and surprising, but thatâs all you need to know.â
His tone was so firm that Garuel couldnât add another word. In the instant silence that followed, Cadel struggled to raise his voice.
âSooner or later, word will get out that youâre a black magician. Youâll get some stares, but no one will try to get close to you, so you can rest easy. And donât worry, you probably didnât overdo it with the whole healing thing.â
Garuel glared at Cadel for a moment, then touched his mask with a faint smile.
ââ¦â¦Thank God. I walked around wearing a mask, and I got attention just by breathing.â
âYouâve always been an eye-catcher.â
âYeah, well. Because Iâm handsome.â
Garuel was not unaware of Cadelâs efforts to lighten the mood. It was his job to carry out his commanderâs wishes, and if anyone could understand what it was like to lose a subordinate here and now, it was him. So Garuel tried to lighten Cadelâs mood by cracking a silly joke.
âTell them Iâm a black magician of few words. Iâm sure some of the knights will recognize my voice, and even though Iâm dead, itâs best to avoid suspicion as much as possible.â
âOkay. I will also spread the word that you will place a curse on anyone who bothers you.â
âOh no, I didnât mean to say I wanted to be an outcast.â
After exchanging a few words with Garuel, Cadel looked over at Lumen. His expression didnât show much agitation. Cadel thought he would be surprised to learn that Van had left. Maybe heâd sensed that the relationship between him and Van had gone sour some time ago.
âWas I the only one who was blind to it?â
Seeing Van treat him as usual even after knowing everything, Cadel promised himself that he would follow him if this was his choice. Even though he knew better than anyone else that he couldnât make that choice. The breakup was avoided.
His expression suddenly hardened in bitterness. Cadel patted Lydon, who was sleeping soundly next to him, and lowered his head.
âIâm sleepy again after all that sleep. I need to get some rest while I can because if I let it be known that Iâm fully recovered, I might get another order.â
âDo you want me to take Lydon away?â
âNo, leave him alone. He looks tired.â
ââ¦â¦Then rest. Iâll leave the healer to his own devices.â
As Cadel lay down once more, Lumen and Garuel quietly left the room. In the quickly deserted room, Cadel focused on Lydonâs breathing as if to drive away his thoughts. Face to face, their foreheads touched lightly. Feeling the warmth of Lydonâs breath against his skin, he calmed himself a little.
âThat should do it.â
He didnât have the right or the ability to change Vanâs choices. He wanted to make him happy in a life of splendor, but if he could only be unhappy in his own company, it was right to let him go.
Sleep did not come. Cadel gently stroked Lydonâs cheek as he slept, enjoying the short-lived rest.