Mingi woke up early that winter morning, he would love to be able to go back to sleep and enjoy more of it, however, duties were calling, so he had to prepare to go to college before laziness completely overpowered him.
By 7:30, he got off the bus while dragging his feet along the floor with some slack still. He still had time, so walking a little wouldn't hurt, would it? Well...there he was...Jeong Yunho, his best friend...maybe, walking across the campus with his group of classmates and new friends.
They exchanged glances for almost a second, nothing else but a small smile from Yunho was shared as a way to say 'hi' before Mingi hurried the steps towards the building of his faculty, trying not to make a grimace that betrays him, after all, they had nothing else to talk about.
[...]
The first hours of class went by as usual, especially for a Wednesday, which meant that not only he had most of the day without any trouble going from class to class, but had a class with one of his favorite professors, Mr. Kim.
-- Oh, Mingi-ssi, have you grown up since last week?
-- I doubt it, it must be that you didn't wear heels in shoes today.
-- Yah, they're called platforms.-- The teacher laughed slightly while flustered, making his student pass to the classroom, which was empty because the class had not yet begun.-- What brings you here now?
-- I don't know, I just wanted to talk to someone.--Shrugged.
-- What happened to your friends?
-- Yeosang and Jongho will tell me the same thing, to get over it, that I don't need it.
--...Mingi.-- The elder called, trying to find the words so as not to get into trouble.
-- Uhm?
-- You know I'll say the same thing, right?-- Within everything and his delusion, he wanted to believe that someone would give him a different alternative, that they would tell him that they would help Yunho talk to him, but he knew that it was impossible.
--...I know, professor, I know.
-- Listen, I know it hurts to lose someone important, but you yourself recognize it, if your paths were not destined to cross in that way, you can't force an already written fate.
-- Who says it is?
-- No one, I mean you tried to get close to him, but he turned you down...doesn't that tell you something?
Mingi thought about it, even more than he should, however, nodded when realized he had no energy to keep arguing.
[...]
---...All right, class is over for today, you can retire--Mr. Kim announced once the bell rang, giving a small gentle pat to the cold shoulder of the taller black-haired as a way to cheer him up as he left the classroom.
Fortunately, Mingi had some money, so iced coffee was his choice as a way to energize him before starting the last class of the day. He took a few small sips, as the content of the cup was still full while walking down the not-so-crowded aisle, however, a different surface was enough to make him slide and dump almost the entire cup
-- Are you fucking kidding me?!-- Heard a female voice exclaiming.
-- I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to.
--Wrong person kiddo, it's to him.--She said, pointing to her side, and to Mingi's surprise, she only got a bit splashed from the drink, while the worst part was for the boy in front of him.
--I-I'm so...sorry, I didn't see your backpack and-..
-- No, it's okay, I'll go...I'll go to the bathroom and clean up.-- Yunho was always calm, he understood that it wasn't the younger's fault, however, why did his eyes seem to want to shout even the imaginable to Mingi? But to the surprise of both, even himself, Mingi followed him quietly.-- Go to your classroom, I can do it alone.-- He muttered when they got to the bathroom.
-- No, I want to help.
-- No need.
-- But your favorite jac-...
-- I don't need help!-- He raised his voice out of nowhere, Mingi standing back in surprise.--So, please, go to your classroom.-- He barely spoke by looking away from the opposite boy.
-- Well, if that's what you want.-- Mingi clenched his jaw, taking his backpack and leaving quickly the bathroom with almost a slamming.
Of course the rest of the day would be ruined for the black-haired, Yeosang had proposed that they go out to the mall together, and he was going to decline it, but he couldn't dismiss his time just for an idiot who wouldn't listen to him.
So, there were three friends, with a few shopping bags, walking back to their rooms.
-- Hyung, we'll see you later--Jongho said goodbye before Mingi came back to his small apartment. Probably his roommate hadn't yet arrived, so he walked lazily to the balcony, admiring the colors of the sky that the late afternoon showed.
-- In the end, I was able to save it--A voice interrupted his thoughts.
-- Hmm?
-- I saved the jacket, coffee is not so difficult to remove after all.
-- Oh, anyway, that's good for you.
-- Mingi--the blond hesitated to speak but sighed relieved when he looked back at the balcony above and Mingi kept seeing him.
-- What?
-- You want some tea?
-- No, I want to sleep, good n-...
-- Wait!--Silence.-- I want to talk.
-- It was clear to me what you meant.-- Mingi replied after a few seconds.
-- But we all deserve an explanation, don't we?--After a sigh, the younger of the two accepted and went down to the small courtyard where they agreed to meet.
A few minutes later, Yunho was next to them as they walked together through the noisy streets of the city, as the time to return home for those who worked was approaching.
-- I thought you'd come down with a coat, it's cold these days.
-- I'm sorry, but I'm gonna need you to get to the point.-- The taller raised his eyebrows, somewhat surprised by the attitude of the latter but nodded and prepared before starting to speak.
-- I'm sorry about what I did, I seriously care about you and our friendship and...I thought if we stopped being always together, your feelings wouldn't grow and we could get back to normal after some time.
-- But you just left me confused and hurt, have you ever thought about the consequences your words could have on me?
--Now I know, again, I'm really sorry, I didn't know what to do at that time, I never felt so overwhelmed by so many feelings at once that was the only thing that came to mind.
-----------------------------------------------------
--I like you, Yunho--Mingi spoke shyly, stretching his arms towards his best friend, showing a small box wrapped in gift paper.
-- Min-Min, but your parents...
--I know, but they don't have to know, don't they?
-- Did you like me after the kiss?-- Mingi was confused by the questions suddenly, so he brought the gift closer to his chest.
--So-something like that, I liked that you were so open with me and-..
-- Mingi, you better think about it, it's getting late and your dad won't be long in coming.
--But, I seriously thought about it.--Mingi said to himself.
ã...ã
-- Yah, yah...isn't that Yunho?--A boy whispered, the brown-haired boy's eyes lit up as he got closer to his best friend, they hadn't talked much in those weeks but of course he still trusted the elder.
-- Hey, you're a little late.
-- Yeah, San's dad picked us up.
-- No problem, you want to go get some candy drinks?
-- Sure, although, you know? I made a deal with Wooyoung, and I'll tell you later how it was, I'll be back.--He looked distracted, didn't dare to look into the eyes of the opposite.
-- Yeah, sure, no problem
[...]
-- You've been ignoring me all night.--Mingi went outside with Yunho.
--I told you, I just wanted to spend some time with friends from my career, you have other friends too.
-- No, is this because of the other day?
-- No, of course not!
-- It is, of course it is, you just had to tell me you don't like me anymore.
-- You're gay, Mingi.
--Wha-What?
-- You like men and I don't, I don't want that having the opportunity to be someone totally different to new people and prove my dad that I'm worthy of his respect, they think that I am too.
-- D-Do I embarrass you?
--It's not that, it's...it's just that I want to be someone new, and you sticking to me makes it hard.--The world around the two stopped, no one was aware of the two fighting, but it felt that all noise had been quiet after those words.
-- You're not just a homophobe, but a stupid fool, of course you'd say that.-- The night couldn't get any worse. Mingi was ready to leave with his broken heart.
-- I'm not homophobic, I support and accept you, why can't you understand my side too?
--You...you...all it's about you, it's has always been about you, I never want to see YOU again.
-- You don't want to see me again? Come on, please let me explain.
-- No! I don't want to hear from you, Jeong Yunho, you're an asshole.--Screamed the younger while almost running through the quiet empty street.
-------------------------------------
The two young men were walking in silence, feeling the nervousness that the situation brought.
After Yunho apologized like a million times, Mingi insisted to himself that he needed to think about it, that he didn't feel as safe as before next to the taller, all confidence and good memories left that night they fought.
-- Your parents?-- Mingi asked barely audibly.
-- They haven't changed much, they're still as you remember them.
-- They never heard about the kiss?-- Yunho nodded.-- Why did you kiss me in the first place?--Mingi asked.
-- Hu-Huh?
-- You heard me.
-- Be-Because...because I also liked you, it was just you and me, and I got carried away, I wanted to know what it feels...not that I mean you were an experiment or something, I mean...like...seriously, I really wanted to try something...but I screwed up.-- Mingi could see the repentance in the eyes of the blonde, he missed hugging the boy he grew up with, with whom he once promised never to move away from the other, but it was difficult to see him now that their ideas collided with each other.
-- Why do you want to clear everything out of the blue?--He couldn't control himself, he needed to ask all this because curiosity ate him. He saw how the opposite thought for a few seconds, not sure whether to answer.-- And be honest.
--Professor Kim called me to his classroom, he wanted to clarify the problem after today's accident, but warned me that he can't get into these types of issues, so...he left it in my hands, live with resentments, or risk apologizing.-- The black-haired one was silent, analyzing every word that came out of the boy.--You don't have to want to be my friend again or anything, I just want to be on better terms.
-- So what if I want to be your friend again?-- Yunho was taken aback but smiled anyway.
-- Then it would be too amazing to be real.
-- Well, I'll see you tomorrow.
--Wa-Wait, it wasn't clear to me--the elder got up after Mingi turned around back to his apartment.
-- I'll tell you later.
-- Mi-Min Min, wait...
-- Good night, Yunho.
And he kept walking, already knowing what he wanted and with his chest lighter than ever, that night, he was finally able to sleep better, knowing that he had no reason to drown in a glass of water.
ã...ã
The next morning was quite calm, it was a Thursday and Mingi's schedule, unlike the previous day, was busy with classes and homework, so he barely had time to concentrate on something that didn't had to do with university until the departure time arrived. The boy walked to the bus stop with his mind full of ideas of what homework he would do first when he got home, however, someone with disheveled hair next to him caught his attention.
-- I thought you might need someone to accompany you with how distracted you are.-- He joked.
-- Uh, it would be like returning a favor in exchange for my friendship, as you said.
--...The-Then?-...
--One condition.-- Yunho did a little "uhm?"--Work on your own thoughts, you know you're big enough to need to lick your parent's boots to please them...I want you to be you, and only you, understand?--He nodded, committed, and knowing it would be difficult but committed anyway.
The two friends got on the bus and sat together talking about what had happened between the two in the lost time. It seemed like it would take them time again to rebuild that trusting behavior they had before, but for now, they were comfortable being together again, maybe improving it over time.
Sometimes they held hands back home, or one stayed in the other's apartment to sleep, hugs being shared more often, and all that while no one else found out. Because they didn't really care if someone did, but they cared about the comfort of both in those situations.