I took a deep breath, trying to focus on History Assignment on the board. Last day of school until summer, Sadie. Just last through today.
I sucked in a deep breath, trying to push the worry out of my mind.
Richelle had been having pretty bad problems with pain management so about a week ago, my mom took her to the hospital so they could treat her. She was in the hospital until chemo treatment, because they couldn't keep her pain under control. They had problems treating Eva's pain too.
The problem? I couldn't do anything. Mom and Richelle had been trying to help me with all the God stuff, so I took a leap of faith and decided to pray.
God, please help my sister. Richelle's the strongest girl I've ever known. I don't think she knows how strong she is. Help her realize-
"Are you sleeping in my class?"
My eyes sprang open to find Ms. McDonald standing over me, hands on hips.
"No," I said simply, trying to keep my temper in check.
"Why were your eyes closed then?" Ms. McDonald asked. "Were you checking your eyelids for light leaks or something?"
I could hear the snickers radiate from my classmates.
I decided that honesty was the best policy.
"I was praying," I said, hoping she didn't haul me off to the principal's office right then or embarrass myself to the point where I would never be allowed to return to school because of the embarrassment.
Ms. McDonald's eyes were snapping at me and she jabbed her finger at the door, scowling.
"Out there," she demanded. "Now."
I followed her, trying to keep my head up. It was challenging.
"Look, I know how hard it's been for your family with Richelle in and out of the hospital," Ms. McDonald said, the tiniest bit of compassion in her voice. "And I know law prevents me from talking about my faith in the classroom, but I will not allow a student to belittle it."
I opened my mouth. "I don't think I-"
"Prayer is not a joke to me."
"It isn't to me-"
"You do not have to believe what I believe but you do have to respect it," Ms. McDonald said. "Are we clear?"
I shut my mouth and waited to see if that was a question I was supposed to answer.
"Are you mute girl?" Ms. McDonald stared a hole in me. "Are we clear?"
"I am," I said. "But you keep cutting off every single word I say, so I'm not sure you are."
Ms. McDonald let out a breath while I held my breath. I had two choices. I could mumble that I was sorry and hope I didn't get suspended. Or stand up for myself and definitely get suspended. I was so glad I only had to deal with things for one more day then school would be over with. Who cares if I get suspended for today? It's the last day of school.
"What I was trying to say," I pressed on, ignoring the sharp glare Ms. McDonald kept on me. "Was that I really was praying. For my family, the only thing that got us through Eva's death and Richelle's numerous chemotherapy treatments is our faith, especially for Richelle. I don't know what 'belittle' means but I don't think I was doing it. Not on purpose anyway."
Ms. McDonald pinched the bridge of her nose like my parents did when they couldn't decide what to do with me and my sisters. At least she wasn't dragging me down to the office... yet.
Ms. McDonald watched me for a minute or two, then sighed.
Alright," Ms. McDonald said. "Go back in."
I breathed a sigh of relief and walked back in. I could feel Sierra's hard stare and Jazmine's bug-eyed look.
I sat down and bit down hard on my nail. I did not need school problems. I seriously did not need this added to my pile. At least school would be over for the year at the end of the day.
"Dang," Jazmine said as we headed toward English. "You really got it." She smirked at me so I knew she was joking.
I rolled my eyes at my best friend. "What-ever."
"I'm so glad sixth grade is over after today," Sierra said.
I rolled my eyes. "Tell me about it."
"Ms. McDonald was never my favorite teacher," Jazmine said, shrugging.
"Same," Sierra and I punctuated.
"Jinx!" Sierra said, giggling. She was the only one who giggled in our friend group. Come to think of it, she was the only one who did anything girly like that between the three of us.
"Hi guys," Ally said as she walked up. For once, she didn't have her little ensemble with her.
Hi," we muttered, speeding up our pace a little.
Ally, obviously not getting the hint, or ignoring it, sped up with us and kept talking.
"What?" Ally asked, speeding up with us.
"Nothing," I said simply, rounding a corner toward the English classroom with Jazmine and Sierra close behind me. I was so glad we had the same English period.
"What's going on?" Ally asked. "Is something wrong?"
"Nothing," I said.
"Really?" Ally asked. "Because it sure seems like something to me."
"It's nothing, alright?"
"Are you sure?" Ally asked. "You can talk to me, you know."
I paused. I-" I stopped. If I said anything, it probably wouldn't turn out very well. So I shut my mouth. I looked at Jazmine who shook her head slightly. Then I shook my head at Ally.
"Never mind," I said and continued walking. "Forget I said anything."
"If you told Sierra and Jazmine why can't you tell me?" Ally asked.
"Because you wouldn't get it," I said calmly.
"Well can you tell me too so we'll all know?" Ally asked.
The girl could not back off!
"No," I said, turning into the Social Studies classroom.
"Why?"
"Because you don't need to know," Jazmine snapped for me.
"Did you tell Jazmine and Sierra?" Ally asked.
"Yes," I said.
"Then how can you think that it's fair that you told Jazmine and Sierra and not me?" Ally asked.
"Fair isn't everyone getting the same. Fair is everyone gets what they need to succeed," I quoted Eva. "It's my business, not yours. I have a right to decide who I want to tell and who I don't." I sat down at my desk and stared directly into her eyes. "Stop trying to get me to tell you something I don't want to."
Ally shook her head. "Fine. Don't tell me."
"Fine," I said. "I won't." I wasn't falling for the guilt trip tactic. I had fallen for that one too many times.
"You're not being fair!" Ally said, her voice rising. She wasn't giving up, was she?
"Life isn't fair," Sierra said.
"Can you please tell me?" Ally asked.
"No," I said, my voice still patient. "Sorry."
Ally sighed. "Sadie, what if you were in my place?"
"I'm not," I said, stopping in my tracks to stare at her. "I'm not the prettiest girl in school. I'm not the most popular. I don't have a near-perfect family. Let me ask you this. What if you were in my place?" My voice was calm and measured, my attitude still patient.
Ally didn't answer the question. She just shook her head.
"I can't take you," she said, her words radiating hostility.
"Well, we can't take you," Sierra replied.
"We can't be friends anymore," Ally said.
"Since when were we friends?" Jazmine asked.
"I can't, guys," Ally said dramatically. "I just can't."
"We never asked you to," I said.
"What did I do to you?" Ally asked.
"Gee, I wonder," Sierra said.
"I'm sorry," Ally said. "I can't... I just- I can't."
"Well neither can we," I said. "You just butted in with us so what makes you think we ever could?"
"Good," Ally snapped harshly at us. She turned on her heel and stomped out, drama queen style.
Jazmine shook her head. "Wow. Ally Jensen is so rude."
"Tell me about it," Sierra rolled her eyes up into her head.
"I never pegged her for that rude though," I said.
"Well, I guess she is," Jazmine said, shaking her head.
I was never really friends with Ally and I was kind of glad Miss Nosy Drama Queen didn't want to be my friend.
"What did we even do?" Sierra asked.
I shook my head. "Nothing."
Sierra shrugged. "Oh well."
"I'm kind of glad she's off our backs," Jazmine said.
"Tell me about it," Sierra rolled her eyes.
"Roll call!" Mr. Carr called.
We turned toward him and I promptly forgot about Ally Jensen and whatever problems she had with us.