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CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE - fighting
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"Elisa-" "I just don't understand, Hector!" "Well I just don't get the playing time I need here-" "I get that, but why didn't you tell me?" "I didn't know how you'd react and nothings certain yet" "Babe. We talked kids and marriage yesterday-" "That's still what I want. I want you and only you. Your kids and everything" "How am I supposed to move in with you when you aren't even living in Barcelona anymore?!" "We can make it work-" "Hector I am already dying over here! Without you here next to me. It makes it easier when I know that in a couple of months I'll have you. I can fall asleep next to you every night. I can't fall asleep next to you when you live in another city! How am I supposed to not die on the inside? How am I supposed to fall asleep? When I don't know when I can live with you and marry you and have kids with you!" "Babe- I-" he stayed silent for a moment. "I have to get to training. I'll talk to you later" I said before hanging up.
"How's the boyfriend?" "Jamal, please don't even ask" "Not good?" "Not good" "What happened?" "he might be moving to another club in the summer and yesterday we were talking about moving in with each other, marriage and kids" "Okay first of all that's crazy you're 17. Second of all I don't see the problem" "Well I don't have a contract after the summer and I'm maybe going back home, going back to Barcelona. So yesterday Hector and I talked. We talked about moving in with each other when and if I come back home. So when he's moving to another club and another city, we can't do that" "you're leaving?" "maybe. I don't know" "So what happened?" "Well I found out he might move over an article which is insulting enough. I'm his girlfriend. I should be the first person he'd tell this kind of stuff to, but well I found out and we were arguing before I got to training and we'll go back to arguing after training" "Yeah have fun with that" "Thank you" I said ironically "Okay I just need to circle back for a second. You're 17 and talking about kids with him?" "Well he's 18" "Crazy. So crazy"
"Why didn't you tell me?" I yelled over the phone right after he picked up. "I don't know-" "Well you don't know why you didn't tell me, you don't know where you're going, you don't know what will happen to us down the road! What do you know?" "What I know is that I want you. I want you and I want to play football. I'm not playing football though. You've told me a thousand times. I deserve more playing time, but Flick isn't giving me playing time. So why stay here?" "At least don't let me hope! Don't let me hope! Don't talk about our wedding, our potential five kids with our two dogs in a house in Barcelona with me! You didn't decide to move between yesterday evening and this morning. So you shouldn't have talked with me about it yesterday. Not like that." "I know, honey. I know-" "Why? If you know, then why?" "That I don't know-" "You know I'm tired. like really tired and I don't want to fight- I don't have the energy to fight right now. So we'll talk more tomorrow" "Okay. Sleep well" "yeah you too"
"Hector! I just don't understand it. And I can't do it! I seriously can't do it. It is killing me already and we don't know how long we'll be in long distance then!" "I know, babe. I know." "Well I'm at the grounds now and I don't have long till training starts. So talk to you later" "Yeah" I hung up and Jamal walked up to me. "Still arguing?" "You heard that?" "Some of it" "We have argued for two hours straight and that's just this morning" "Damn. No idea how you do it" "I don't know either. It's tiring" "But do you get him?" "I get why he wants to change clubs. I just can't have him do it. If I'm going to Barcelona, I need him there" "Sounds like you don't have to argue" "He still wants to leave and I can't- I feel like I can barely breathe when he isn't there with me and I need him with me." "Cute" "Truth"
"Look, honey, I get what you're saying-" "I feel like you don't" "I do get what you're saying. I know what and why you're saying this. I do. Just you have to understand what I'm trying to say here!" "Hector. I get it. You aren't getting what you deserve at Barcelona right now. You're not. So you want to move and I get that-" "I don't think you do" "Obviously I get it-" "You don't really though. You sit on the bench once and your team losses. You don't really get it" "I understand you, Hector. I do, but I need you to understand me." "I know. I know what you're saying-" "You know what I'm saying, but you don't really understand. I have training now we'll talk later" I said before hanging up.
"Good morning. You look tired" "I am." "Why? Arguing?" "Yeah yesterday till 2am and today since 8am" "That's a lot of arguing" "It is" "How can you even argue that much? Do you just now listen to each other?" "No, yes. Obviously we listen to each other. I mean right now we're just arguing if we understand what the other one is saying" "And are you?" "I think neither of us really understand which is the root of the problem" "Oh why don't you understand each other?" "I have no idea"
"Jamal, please like run? or strength training? Anything" "Yeah of course. But don't you have a fight to get back to?" "exactly. The longer I'm here I don't have to argue" "Why do you even do it then? Why are you still arguing? You've been together for like a week and half of that you've just been arguing, so why not just break up" "Oh you don't get it" "yeah I don't" "I mean obviously-" "What are you on about?" "Hector- He's my one. You know like in those cheesy movies and stuff when there's only really one option, even when there's someone better? That's Hector. He's my one. Even if we break up which is the last thing I want and it would kill me, no matter who I might fall for after, what I have with Hector wouldn't come around again. This is like once in a hundred lifetimes. He's my soulmate and I know how that sounds- but he is" "He's the love of your life" "you get it now" "maybe just tell him that"
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