Chapter 13: 12. She left me

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Adrian's P.O.V.

Last night was hell. I barely slept. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw Susan's face—her tears, her shattered expression as she turned away from me. When she left for Aspen, I told myself to give her space. But the silence was suffocating, clawing at me with every passing second. I checked my phone constantly, scrolling through our past messages, reading and rereading them as if they could somehow bring her back. I typed out texts—long apologies, desperate explanations—only to delete them before hitting send. Instead, I let my guilt fester, twisting into something unbearable. And that unbearable weight drove me straight into the worst mistake of my life.

Sia called, saying she wanted to hang out. I agreed, thinking it was just a distraction. Just noise to drown out the emptiness Susan left behind. Even at the bar, I couldn't stop myself. I kept checking my phone, opening Instagram to see if she was active, hoping she had posted something—anything—that would give me an excuse to reach out. I hovered over the message button, typing out different variations of 'I'm sorry' before deleting them all. What would I even say that could fix this?

Every time my phone buzzed, my heart leapt, thinking maybe it was her. But it never was. Just empty notifications that meant nothing. I kept stalking her profile, searching for a sign that she was okay, that she was thinking about me too. But there was nothing. Just the same old photos, the same silence that was eating me alive. And now, I had shattered that world. I almost called her, but I stopped myself. I wanted to respect her space.

Instead, I let myself fall deeper into my own destruction.

Sia had forgotten her phone at her place, so she had been using mine to take pictures throughout the evening. I barely paid attention, distracted by my own thoughts, lost in the constant battle between reaching out to Susan and giving her space. Then, out of nowhere, she leaned in and kissed me. Before I could even process what was happening, I heard the artificial click of a camera shutter.

I jerked away instantly, my stomach twisting. "What the hell, Sia?" My voice was sharp, laced with disbelief and anger.

She gave a small, careless shrug. "Relax, Adrian. It was just a kiss. You seriously need to loosen up."

Loosen up? My pulse pounded in my ears as I took a step back. "Are you kidding me? You took a picture?" My voice was rising, panic creeping into my chest.

Sia rolled her eyes. "It's nothing. No one will even see it."

But it wasn't nothing. It was everything. The weight of it crushed me. I ran a hand through my hair, exhaling sharply. This was a mistake—a massive, irreversible mistake.

Without another word, I drove her home, the silence between us thick and uncomfortable. As soon as she stepped out of the car, I gripped the steering wheel, trying to convince myself that this wasn't as bad as it seemed. But I knew better.

A kiss. A stupid, reckless kiss that could cost me everything.

The next day, I was a wreck. My body felt heavy, my head pounding, but none of that compared to the ache in my chest. I hadn't heard from Susan. Not a single call. Not a single message. I spent the entire morning staring at my phone, my fingers hovering over her name, willing her to respond. Every time my screen lit up, my heart jumped, only to sink seconds later when I realized it wasn't her.

By the time evening rolled around, I was exhausted from doing nothing but thinking about her. Then, Sia showed up at my door with drinks, a concerned look on her face. "You look like hell, Ade," she said, stepping inside before I could protest. "Listen, about the other night... I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have kissed you, especially when you're going through all this."

I exhaled sharply, rubbing my temples. "Sia, I—"

"No, let me finish," she interrupted softly. "I was out of line. But Adrian, Susan hasn't even reached out to you. She hasn't called, hasn't texted... How long are you going to keep waiting for someone who left you hanging?"

I should have told her to leave. I should have shut the door in her face. But I didn't. Deep down, I felt like I deserved this punishment. Susan wasn't reaching out. She wasn't even trying to argue with me, to fight for us like she always had. Had I finally pushed her so far? The thought made my stomach churn. I had done this. I had driven her to the point where silence was her only response, and that silence was louder than any screaming match we'd ever had.

She handed me a drink and sat beside me on the couch, her presence oddly comforting. "I get it, you love her. But Adrian, how long are you going to keep torturing yourself like this? Maybe she's already moved on."

I scoffed, shaking my head. "No. Susan wouldn't do that. She wouldn't just move on like that, not without a fight. That's not who she is."

Sia sighed, swirling her drink in her hands. "People change, Adrian. Maybe she realized she's better off without all this pain. Maybe she's done waiting for you."

I clenched my jaw. "No. You don't know her like I do. Susan doesn't give up on people she loves. If she's not reaching out, it's because I hurt her that badly—not because she stopped caring."

"It's not that simple, Sia," I muttered, taking a sip of the drink. "I love her. Susan would never do this to me. She would never walk away without a fight. And now... now she won't even pick up the phone. Do you know how badly I must have hurt her for her to just shut me out completely?"

"And look where that's gotten you." She sighed, leaning closer. "I hate seeing you like this. Let me help you forget for just one night."

We drank. The more I drank, the heavier my thoughts became. Sia kept talking, her words slowly sinking in. "She made her choice, Adrian," she murmured at one point, placing a hand lightly on my arm. "You need to stop waiting for someone who might never come back." Her voice was soft, almost soothing, but every word felt like a knife twisting in my chest.

I let out a bitter chuckle. "You think I can just forget about her? Like she never mattered?"

Sia sighed. "No. But I think you need to accept the possibility that she might not come back. You can't keep waiting for something that might never happen, Adrian."

I shook my head stubbornly. "She will. She just needs time. She's angry, she's hurt—but she hasn't stopped loving me. I know her, Sia. She wouldn't just throw everything away."

Sia sighed, setting her glass down with a soft clink. "You keep saying that, but are you sure? Think about it, Adrian. You were her first love. Just like I was yours. And what happened back then? You swore you'd never look at anyone else, that nothing would ever come between us. But it did. People change. Feelings change."

I frowned, my grip tightening around my glass. "That was different. I was a yound back then. And you and I—"

"Were everything to each other," she interrupted smoothly. "Until we weren't. Until you found someone else and realized what we had wasn't enough anymore. What if Susan is realizing that now? What if she's finally seeing that she deserves more than someone who keeps breaking her heart?"

Her words slithered into my mind like poison, doubt creeping into the cracks of my resolve. Susan wouldn't do that. She wasn't like that. But... what if Sia was right? What if this was the moment she finally gave up on me?

I barely registered her words. But then she leaned closer, her voice lowering, as if she was about to reveal something I had refused to see. "You know, Adrian, the way Susan just disappeared without a fight... it reminds me of how you left me."

I blinked, startled. "What?"

"Think about it," she continued, swirling her drink. "Back then, you swore you loved me. That we were meant to be. And yet, when you met Susan, it was like I no longer existed. You moved on so fast. No hesitation. No looking back. What if Susan is doing the same now? What if she's already found someone else?"

My stomach twisted. "No. Susan isn't like that. She wouldn't—"

"Are you sure?" She tilted her head, her gaze piercing. "You changed. Why wouldn't she? Maybe she realized that she's better off without you. Maybe she's with someone who actually makes her happy."

I wanted to argue. To yell. But something in her tone, the weight of her words, dug into my mind, planting seeds of doubt I couldn't shake. What if Susan really was done? What if she had already moved on?

At some point, the alcohol took over. My memories blurred, my body felt heavier, my thoughts slowed. Sia kept refilling my glass, her voice lulling me into a foggy state. "Just relax, Adrian," she murmured, placing a hand on my arm. "Let go, stop thinking about her for one night."

I remember laughing bitterly, feeling the warmth of the liquor dulling the pain in my chest. The next moments were hazy—her leaning in closer, her lips brushing my neck, the feeling of her fingers grazing my skin. I remember muttering Susan's name at some point, but Sia shushed me, whispering, "She's not here, Adrian. Stop holding onto something that's already gone."

And then—darkness.

I vaguely remember stumbling as I tried to stand, the room spinning around me. My limbs felt heavy, my body sluggish, but Sia was there, steadying me with her hands on my arms. "Adrian, just relax," she murmured, her voice soft yet insistent. "You need to let go, stop carrying all this pain."

She guided me toward the couch, her fingers lingering on my skin. I barely registered the way she pulled me closer, whispering soothing words that barely made sense through the haze clouding my mind. The warmth of alcohol coursed through my veins, blurring the lines between reality and whatever false comfort she was offering.

I felt her breath against my ear, the way her hands traced over my shoulders. My head felt too heavy to lift, my thoughts a mess of regret, loneliness, and guilt. I wanted to push her away, to tell her to stop, but my body wouldn't listen. Everything was too slow, too distorted, like I was sinking into something I couldn't claw my way out of.

Then, whatever happened spiraled out of control, becoming a mistake I couldn't even fully comprehend.

I tried to fight the fog in my head, but my body refused to respond. A lingering trace of Susan's name slipped from my lips before everything faded. When I woke up, the only thing left was regret and a sinking, unbearable weight in my chest.

A loud shattering sound jolted me awake. My head was throbbing, my vision hazy. I groggily turned over, only to feel a body next to mine.

I blinked rapidly, my heart pounding. And then I saw her.

Susan.

Standing in the doorway. Silent. Unmoving. Her face was pale, her eyes wide, her expression unreadable. But the pain was there, seeping through every inch of her stiff posture.

And beside me...

Sia. In my bed.

No. No. No.

"Susan—wait, it's not what it looks like!" My voice wavered with desperation, but even I knew the words were hollow.

A bitter, humorless laugh escaped her. "Not what it looks like?" Her voice trembled, barely above a whisper, yet laced with enough devastation to crack the very air between us. "You actually have the audacity to say that to my face? Again?"

Sia sat up abruptly, pulling the sheets around herself, her expression a mix of shock and unease. "Susan... I didn't know you'd be back this soon," she said quietly, glancing between us with uncertainty. There was no malice in her tone, no triumph—just the realization of how terrible this looked.

I swallowed hard, my mind racing. "Sia, just... don't say anything," I muttered, feeling the weight of Susan's piercing gaze on me.

But the damage was already done.

Susan's hands clenched into fists, her breath coming in short gasps as rage, grief, and betrayal consumed her. I could see the moment her heart shattered, the way she fought to stay upright, to hold herself together.

She wiped away the tears threatening to spill. "Explain?" Her voice was raw, a fractured whisper. Then she let out a bitter chuckle. "You think there's an explanation for this?" She took a shaky step back, her hands trembling. "You were never sorry, Adrian. You were just sorry you got caught."

I took a desperate step toward her. "Susan, please, listen to me. I—I didn't mean for this to happen." My voice cracked, the desperation clawing at my throat. "I messed up, but you have to know that I never stopped loving you."

Her gaze was sharp, cutting through me like glass. "You didn't just betray me, Adrian." Her voice was eerily calm now. "You destroyed the version of me that believed in you."

She straightened, her body stiff with resolve, and met my gaze one last time. "We're done, Adrian."

My stomach dropped. "Susan, please—"

But she was already gone. She turned on her heel, grabbed her car keys, and stormed out, slamming the door so hard the walls rattled.

I stood there, frozen, staring at the empty space where she had been, my entire world crumbling around me.

Panic surged through my veins. I ran after her, but by the time I reached the living room, I heard the roar of her car engine. I ran to the window, watching helplessly as she drove away.

A hand touched my shoulder. Sia. She looked shaken, tears forming in her eyes. "I'm so sorry, Ade... I—I don't even remember much."

I turned to her, my jaw clenched. "This is my fault," I muttered. "I need to be alone."

She nodded, gathering her things. "If you need to talk..."

I didn't respond. I just stood there, staring at the door Susan had just walked out of.

After couple of moments later the door clicked shut behind Sia as she left, I grabbed my phone and started calling Susan. No answer. I called again. Straight to voicemail.

Panic clawed at my chest. I started texting her, the words spilling out in desperation:

Susan, please pick up.

Please, just talk to me.

I know I messed up, but I need to explain.

I need to know you're safe.

Nothing. No reply. Just silence.

I checked my phone again.

I paced the room, my mind racing. Every second that passed without hearing from her was unbearable. I typed and deleted messages, trying to find the right words. There were no right words. Only regret. Susan was short-tempered, but she was also impulsive. If she was hurt, if she was reckless—

No. I couldn't think like that.

I had to find her. I had to fix this.

Without another thought, I grabbed my keys and stormed out of the apartment. I had no plan, no destination—just the overwhelming need to find her, to do something other than standing in that suffocating room drowning in regret.

I drove aimlessly, my hands gripping the wheel so tightly my knuckles turned white. Every red light felt like torture, every passing second an eternity. I checked my phone at every stop, hoping for a response, a missed call—anything. But the screen remained blank, mocking me with its silence.

Frustration burned through my veins. I slammed my fist against the dashboard, cursing myself, cursing the night, cursing the choices that had led me here. How could I have let this happen? How could I have lost her like this?

Because losing Susan? That wasn't an option.

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