Love Me Or Leave Me - Little Mix
Stay With Me - Danity Kane
Sorry - Halsey
-
"We made it bitch!" Sam giggles and throws her hands up in the air. "One semester down. Seven more to go."
"Seven more for you," I chuckle and lay down on my stomach on top of all my notes. "I have seven and half more years of this."
"You're the one that decided to become a doctor," she shrugs and I roll my eyes.
"You just wait until you need medical assistance and then I'll be the only doctor around to help you."
"I look forward to the day you save my life, Dr. West," she says dramatically, making me bust out laughing and she does the same.
Our laughter is interrupted by a phone buzzing.
"I think that's yours," Sam says, still smiling, and stands up from her bed.
I pick up my phone that's vibrating on the bedspread and pause when I look at the name of the person who's calling me.
Tre.
-
"I was going to go to the commons and get a coffee. Do you want anything?" Sam asks and I shake my head, looking at my phone.
She walks out of the room and shuts the door behind her.
I stare at Tre's name for a second before hesitantly accepting the call.
"Tre?" My voice is mumbled and confused. I sit up in my bed.
"Evangeline." His voice is soft spoken, but there's an unexpected hardness to it that I am not familiar with. I've heard his angry and upset voice, but this one's completely different.
"Why are you calling?" I ask, running a hand through my hair. "Is everything okay?"
"No, everything's not okay." His tone stays flat and monotone, which is unlike how he always spoke to me. I don't recognize the voice he's using, it makes my face fall and nerves churn in my stomach.
"What's going on?" I ask quietly, afraid of what he's going to say next.
Being with Tre, I learned to expect the unexpected, but sometimes I am still caught completely off guard with my both of my hands down. Like right now.
"Do you remember when we broke into the library and laid on the roof watching the stars?" He questions, avoiding my question. His voice is so quiet, I almost can't hear him through the phone.
I close my eyes, confused as to where this is going. His words make my heart ache with sadness as he triggers one of my favorite memories of us together.
I nod my head even though he can't see me. "I remember."
"You were scared that security was going to find us and suspend us for breaking in. I kept telling you to stop worrying and to take a risk with me."
A small smile forms on my face as I think back to that night. I was so paranoid that campus security was going to bust us and we'd get in trouble. Okay, technically we didn't break in because the back door was already open. It was the midnight cleaning hours for the building and the back door is kept unlocked, so we went up the back stairs the whole way to the roof. I still felt like we were breaking in, but Tre told me that we were going on a risky adventure and it'd all be worth it. It felt like we were rebels and I liked the excitement I felt rushing through me as we sneakily went up the staircase. I giggled when my foot got caught up the stairs and Tre shushed me, holding his index finger over his smirking mouth. I kept a hold of his hand and we quickly got to the roof, staying as quiet as the night was.
Tre was right. The view was worth it. The cloudless sky was filled with stars dim and bright. They all twinkled like the lights from the city. They were beautiful. It was a beautiful early October night.
Tre carried a backpack and brought out a blanket to lay on the ground. Him and I settled on the blanket, laying side by side, and looked up at the stars.
"I spotted the Taurus constellation for you and you pointed out Orion," he says, still sounding the same in dry tone. It's like he's reciting this off a paper without putting any emotion in his words. Emotionless and monotone, it unsettles me. "You then went into a long explanation about Orion and his downfall of life."
I had geeked out over Greek mythology once we saw a few of the constellations. I couldn't help it, I always though mythology was so fascinating. There were so many stories and legends about all of these different characters and lessons. Learning about myths is like reading an ancient story that's been spoken since the beginning of time. The ideology was so interesting to my young, curious brain, it soaked up all of the information like a sponge. That night, I had told Tre all about Orion and how even though he was meant to be a hunter for the safety of the inhabitants on the island of Chios, he became hungry for violent success and desired to kill all of the animals of the earth. He was then killed by a scorpion from the earth goddess, Gaia, and he was placed in the sky with a scorpion behind him, so he will always be chased by the violence he desired. His constellation became a warning to not harm the earth and its inhabitant. It reminded everyone to be kind and respectful of all nature, otherwise it will turn on you.
"Your eyes lit up as you told his story. You were staring at the sky, but you're eyes were shining like the stars. You talked for minutes before you realized I wasn't paying attention to what you were saying. You told me to pay attention and I told you I was, but I was lying," he explains. "I was focused on the moonlight casting shadows across your cheekbones. Every time your mouth moved, new different shadows danced around your face. Even though it was dark, your eyes shined bright. You looked so free and happy."
"I was happy," I mumble and swallow hard. "Just being there with you made me happy."
I didn't notice how much he was staring at me as I was talking to him. But I guess he was staring at me as much as I was staring at him too. The moon reflected off one side of his face and the other half was in the dark. I thought that was very fitting for him. His face divided between light and dark, much like himself. One half is in the open, the other half hidden away in darkness where no one can ever see his real self.
"Watching you in that moment and how happy you were, it made me think of my own story to tell," he pauses. "You want to know what I thought of?"
I'm scared to ask. "What?"
"Frankenstein," he states. "The aftermath of tampering with nature."
I sigh and slouch my posture. I know exactly where he's going with this.
"Victor believed he could create something without any consequences. He created the creature for his own selfish gain and that cost him his life. He played God and didn't think of what he caused in his ugly creation. He didn't think of the consequences of his actions. Just because you can do something, doesn't mean that you should do it."
Hearing him speak of one of the darkest stories is like twisting a knife in my heart.
Victor Frankenstein met his demise from his own selfish creation. He believe he was more powerful than nature and created another life. But once he realized what he had made, he abandoned the creature and ran away from the aftermath of his own ugly creation. He didn't want to face the reality of what he had done. But that reality caught up to him quickly and he died from his own previous actions.
"Tre," I start but he talks over me.
"Do you remember what I had told you Thanksgiving night?"
I run my hand over my face and then lay down on my stomach again, trying to make myself more comfortable but my body is tense in stress and anxiety.
I take a moment to think back to Thanksgiving. It ended up being one of the greatest days. Everyone was happy and having fun. We were carefree and enjoying spending time together, making new memories. We all shared what we were thankful for and spent the rest of the evening laughing, drinking, and playing silly games. Once the festivities ended, Tre and I retreated back to his bedroom for a late-night celebration between the sheets.
That was the time I could really feel how much he loved me, even though he hadn't said it then yet.
Afterwards, we laid there together, half my naked body resting on top of his and his legs intertwined with mine. My head was resting in the crook of his neck and my hand was drawing circles on his chest, brushing over the soft dark hairs that peppered across his taunt torso. I matched my breathing to his and could feel his heart beating almost in synch with my own. His fingers traced up and down my spine, triggering goosebumps to my warm skin.
The lights were off. Just the glow of the street lights came in from the window, making the room bright enough to still see in.
"You know, I didn't think I could ever be this happy," Tre had said after a few minutes of laying in silence.
"Me too," I softly agreed, smiling against his skin.
"It's weird feeling happy," he admitted.
"A good weird or a bad weird?"
I felt him turn his head down and I raised my head off him. His eyes were soft and his mouth was turned up in a smile. "Definitely a good weird."
He brings his other hand to my face and runs his thumb down the side of my jaw. He then goes across my cheek and over my lips, like he's memorizing every freckle and line on my skin. I pursed my lips as he ran his thumb over them before grasping my chin, gently tilting my face up so my lips can meet his. Even after what we had done to each other already, my body was heating up again in desire. Tre always knew how ignite my flame and send my body into an electric shock. He felt like an addiction and I couldn't get enough.
"I love you," I told him breathlessly after our deep kiss.
Our foreheads were pressed together and he had grasped the side of my face. He closed his eyes and inhaled heavily.
"If I was able to have forever with someone," he whispered. "I'd only want it to be with you."
His words made my heart feel like it was going into cardiac arrest. I think I almost flatlined right there. He had never before admitted to anything serious like a forever. It was not an I love you, like I had been hoping for, but it was pretty damn close.
"When I think of forever, I always think of you," I told him truthfully.
He half smiled and then grasped my hips and tugged me fully on top of him. I gasped at the swift movement and put my knees on the sides of his waist. He sat us up and placed both of his hands around my back, cradling my body to his. I had my hands resting on his upper chest near the bottom of his neck.
"I didn't think forever was for me," he said softly, flattening his hands out and gently squeezing the flesh of my back. "But I'd try my damn hardest to get one with you."
I looked into his eyes that were filled with passion, determination, and love. I put both my hands up to cup his face. I leaned forward and softly bit down on his bottom lip, furthering the flames that are burning between us.
"Try with me then," I whispered back, combusting the inferno so we will burn up together.
We were both goners. Once the first match was lit, we were already in the fire too deep. When our bodies met again in a passion fury, we were connected in the ocean of orange flames. I was burning for him and he was burning for me. We were doused in fuel, igniting and blazing until we were burned up. We burned until the only thing we could feel was our insatiable love for each other.
"I'm trying," Tre says, bringing me back down to the reality of our conversation. "I'm trying Evangeline."
I shake my head to get rid of the memories of that passionate, love-fueled night.
"What does that mean?" I question more to myself than him. I then pause once I realize what his words mean. My heart starts to beating fast and my body grows uncomfortably hot. "What did you do Tre?"
"I just wanted it to end."
It was a simple sentence that sent chills through my whole body.
I gulp. "Wanted what to end?"
His side of the phone is silent for a moment, making my thoughts run rampant.
"The pain." His voice wavers, finally starting to have emotion in it. "I didn't want to feel like this anymore. I just wanted it all to go away."
He still talks softly, but it's not as soft as it was. I can hear his unsteady breathing, like he just got done running. He sounds anxious and that makes me twist my body in discomfort.
"What happened Tre?" I ask, trying to keep my voice calm and steady. I don't want to set him off.
"I thought I could just try to fix this and then everything would be okay. We could still be together," he starts to ramble. "I don't want to lose you Evangeline."
"Tre, it's going to be okay," I say to try and calm him but he's breathing heavier and I know his barrier is breaking. He's always had a wall up to hide his emotions, but now it's crumbling down.
"No it's not okay," he tells me harshly and I jump from his rough tone. "Nothing has ever been okay."
He coughs and then it's silent again. I hold my breath, not knowing whether to say something or not.
I hear rustling on his side and then among the silence, I hear a sniffle.
I feel my heart breaking over the quiet noise.
"Evangeline," he whimpers and then lets out a cry.
I put a hand on my chest, tears forming in my eyes. I've never heard him cry before except for one tear and it shatters my soul to hear him.
"They killed him."
The entire world freezes. It's like things are going in slow motion now. I am unable to take a breath and my ears ring.
"They killed Trell," Tre weeps like his heart is being ripped out. "They fucking shot him right in front of me."
I ignore his loud cries against my ear. I put my hand over my mouth to muffle my own sobs that are now coming out. No. Not Trell. God, please not him.
"Fuck!" He shouts and I continue sobbing into my hand.
"What happened?" I manage to get out from my trembling lips.
Tre sniffles and take a moment to compose himself so he can explain to me what happened.
"He wasn't going to join," he starts to explain in a hoarder voice. "He wanted out, we both did. We met them at the docks and he told them that he wanted out. But they shot him." He pauses and I could tell from his breathing that he's getting more upset. "They fucking shot him in the head and said there is no getting out."
I put my forehead to the bed and let out a sob against the comforter. Fuck.
"They left me there with him," he fumes and I can tell that he's clenching his teeth. "Told me to consider this a warning."
I can feel his pain travel through the phone. Not only did he find his mother dead when he was 8, he just watched his best friend get murdered for trying to do the right thing. Trell just wanted to be happy with Sam.
Sam.
Oh my god.
I sob harder once I realize I have to tell Sam that Trell is dead. I don't know how I'm going to tell her when she gets back.
"I can't get out of this Eva," Tre tells me what I had already feared.
I know he won't be able to get away. It's too late. The damage has already been done.
"But I can't lose you. I've already lost so much, I can't lose you too." Normally his voice would comfort me, but there is no comfort anymore for us.
I don't say anything. Unable to get my brain to form any words. I don't have time to process anything. It's like we're on a ship that's sinking too fast. We don't have time to think about anything besides the water that's getting higher and higher until we drown.
"I have to fix this. I have to make this right."
I quickly sit up to my knees. "Tre don't," I tell him. When Tre is determined, there is no stopping him. He will get what he wants. Like he's said before, he won't stop until someone pays for they did to him. I didn't like hearing it when he told me before, because getting revenge doesn't solve anything.
Vengeance is a poison and Tre's already injected it all into his bloodstream.
"I have to," he states. "For you and for Trell."
I shake my head and wipe some of the tears away from my cheeks. "You don't have to do this. We can find another way."
"There is no other way." His voice doesn't waver. "This is all my fault. This should have never happened."
"I don't blame you," I tell him and it's true. He don't know that this was going to happen. Nobody could have predicted this. He was just trying to do what he thought was best for him. He was a boy in pain and needed a release. He couldn't have known this was how things would end. "Please Tre."
"It's finally caught up to me," he chuckles bitterly, referencing the demise of Victor. "And now I'm Icarus."
I feel sick to my stomach. I don't know whether I want to throw up all over my comforter or cry until there are no more tears left.
Icarus was a boy in Greek mythology who died from his own recklessness and overconfidence. He had to escape his entrapment on the island of Crete by creating his own wings from feathers and glue. He was told of the risks and dangers of the wings and their instability, but as he starting to fly away, he become over confident and didn't care about the consequences. He flew too close to the sun and the glue on the wings melted. He plunged to his death and his body was drowned in the sea.
"Trevante, please listen to me," I try to get through to him. Tears continue to stream down my face and my hand that's holding the phone is trembling. "Please."
"I want you remember something," he ignores my pleas. "You'll always be my Persephone."
"No! Tre! Listen to me please. Don't do this!" I'm sobbing again, begging for him to listen and think rationally. I can't allow him to do something reckless and get harmed over it. Not only would it kill him, it would kill me too.
His voice never falters. It's clear and full of emotion. It's like he's come to terms with this ending. "I love you so much, Evangeline."
The call abruptly ends and I grip the phone tightly in my hand.
"Tre! No!" I wail. "Fuck!" I tug on my hair and then get up from my bed.
I know what he's going to do and I know it's not going to end well. I can't let him get himself killed. I can't lose him.
I quickly put my converse on and look for my sweatshirt. My heart is racing and my whole body is shaking so much I can barely think. I don't have a lot of time. I have to get to him. I run around the room haphazardly, putting on my coat once I have my sweatshirt on.
Before I leave the room, I make a 50 second phone call that breaks my heart.
I run out of the room, shutting the door and dashing down the hallway. Campus is pretty empty now that break has started for most students. Barely anybody is around to see me run down the stairs and out of the building like a maniac. I turn left and run down the sidewalk, weaving around the other pedestrians walking. They're just having a normal Thursday afternoon. It's crazy how you never know what kind of day someone is having. You pass by people all the time and don't know if they're having a good day or a terrible one. You never know what someone is truly going though. The people on the sidewalk don't know that the girl sprinting down the street is running towards a life or death situation where she could lose the love of her life.
I don't even think of how cold it it out and how freezing the air is beating against my face. All I focus on is running towards Tre. I hope to God that they're going to be at the docks, otherwise I'm screwed.
I don't feel my heart pounding in my chest and the freezing air that is already making fingers cold. I just need him. I need Tre.
I say a quick prayer to myself as I run as fast as I possibly can.
Please god don't let me be too late.