Chapter 5: Chapter 4

“Good Morning, Ma’am,” Mercy’s voice greeted me as the sun rose. “I hope you’re feeling better.”

I opened my eyes a crack and suppressed a groan. I had slept very little the night before, and I hadn’t really been asleep when Mercy woke me. My head still ached from the night before, and I had been trying to block the piercing morning light from my eyes, in an attempt to relieve the pain.

Now, however, it seemed there was no escape. I opened my eyes fully, and the light seemed to stab through my eyes and into my brain. Gingerly, I sat up, yawned, and smiled.

“I am very well, thank you,” I said, remembering Hope’s command to wake feeling happy and refreshed.

Mercy heaved a heavy sigh. “Will you be taking your breakfast downstairs, or in the nursery with Celeste?”

Celeste! I’d been so stupid and so selfish in my fear that I had forgotten that there was a child in the manor under Hope’s protection. I dressed as quickly as I dare under Mercy’s watchful gaze- the whole house was now suspect- and then hurried to the nursery.

Celeste was sitting at her nursery table, wearing a black frock and a melancholy expression.

“Good Morning, Lady Grace. I suppose we must leave soon after breakfast.”

The businesslike tone in her high voice almost made me smile in spite of myself. It took me a moment to remember what Celeste meant.

“Yes, we’re visiting the oculist in the village, today. I told the coachman to have the carriage waiting at 8:00 sharp.”

Celeste sighed. “If we must go, it might as well be today. I’m glad to have some business to take my mind off of things.”

Now I did smile as I sat. “Poor Celeste- are your lessons so very tiresome?”

“Oh no- you’re as nice a governess a girl could want. But you can’t replace…”

Then Celeste fell silent, propped her head in her hands, and sighed again.

I regarded the girl as she kicked her feet under the table, and it occurred to me that she must miss her grandmother. I was trying to work out the gentlest way to ask Celeste if she was homesick when the nursery door opened, and Chastity entered with the breakfast tray. Hope entered behind Chastity, still dressed in black.

I stood and, without thinking, moved closer to Celeste.

Hope ignored me, however, and went to kneel by Celeste’s side. “Good morning, my angel. How did you sleep?”

“As well as can be expected,” she said. “If you are going to eat with us, eat quickly. Lady Grace and I must leave soon.”

“You’re leaving?” Hope turned and looked at me sharply.

“Surely, you remember,” I said, sitting. “Celeste has an appointment with the oculist.”

“Oh. Oh! Yes, I remember.” Hope sat next to me and took a cup of tea. “Of course- we must take care of those pretty eyes.”

He stared into his cup distractedly, and then took a sip.

“Are you well, my Lord?” I asked.

“Of course- just trouble sleeping,” he said.

“Uncle Hope, did you know my mother?” Celeste said suddenly.

Hope looked up from his tea and smiled. “Yes, I did.”

“I’m not allowed to go to the place where she’s buried,” Celeste said. “I don’t know why. Grandmother said it was a bad place.”

“Did she?” Hope said, gripping his teacup a little harder. His voice stayed gentle, however. “Well, your grandmother is mistaken- your mother is resting under a big, beautiful oak. I have to agree, though, that the cemetery is no place for children.

“Well- if I can’t go, will you do something for me?”

“Anything.”

Celeste nodded and jumped down from her chair, running into her bedroom. In a few moments, she returned, carrying a huge bouquet of wildflowers.

“I picked these yesterday, on the east side of the hill. Will you give these to her, Uncle Hope?”

“I will- I promise- though it may take some time. The cemetery is not close. We shall dry the flowers,” Hope said, taking the bouquet. “Bluebells- these were your mother’s favorite flowers.”

“Oh! Were they?” Celeste said breathlessly.

“Yes. They were the same color as her beautiful eyes.”

Celeste’s face fell, and two angry spots of red appeared on her round cheeks. Hope didn’t seem to notice the change in Celeste’s expression, however. He finished his tea, wished us both a good morning, and then left the room, carrying the wildflowers with him. When he was gone I sighed, suddenly aware of the tension I’d been holding in my chest the whole time.

Celeste watched Hope as he left.

“Lady Frey, why do grownups lie?”

“Lie?” I said.

“Yes- my mother wasn’t a bit pretty. Her eyes were dull and gray.” Celeste turned and stared calmly at my shocked expression. “Don’t be cross; I loved my mother. I didn’t care how she looked.”

“Sometimes,” I said, “grownups tell little lies to make people feel better. Sometimes we even lie to ourselves.”

“Do you really? But isn’t it a sin to lie?”

“Yes, but sometimes we can’t help it. I remember my own mother with long, golden hair. She died when I was a baby, and it’s impossible that I really remember how she looked, but I can still see that pretty, gold hair in my mind. I think I miss her so much that I made up how she looked.”

Celeste bit her lip in thought. “Do you think Uncle Hope is doing the same thing, because he misses my mother?”

“It’s possible.”

Celeste nodded, and sat back at the table. “I suppose I will have to forgive him, then.”

#

Later that morning, Celeste sat on a stool in the middle of a darkened room, surrounded by a circle of candlelight. The oculist, a grey-haired gentleman named Mr. Filius, gazed intently at her eyes as he moved the candle close to Celeste’s eyes, then far away, then up, and then down. Celeste followed the candle with her eyes, so far up that I could see only the whites, and then down to the floor. Mr. Filius held her chin still as he moved, muttering to himself.

“Good dilation, clear whites, follows movement,” he said in a dull, hypnotic tone. As I watched the pair, my heart began to pound, and in my mind’s eye, I saw not white candlelight, but red moonlight.

“There!” Mr. Filius said, and then stood. He blew out the candle, leaving us in utter darkness. Then the heavy curtains opened, and the room was flooded with light once more.

“Well my dear,” Mr Filius said, “you have very pretty eyes, indeed. Tell me, do you like picture books?”

“I like the grown-up kind of picture books.” Celeste said with a haughty sniff.

Mr Filius laughed. “Well, I have a very grown-up book full of pictures- all animals and plants from the wildlands across the sea. Would you like to see?”

“Yes, thank you,” Celeste said.

“I’ll be back with the book, and I’ll show you how funny the pictures look through different spectacles. Lady Frey, may I have a word?”

“Yes, of course. Behave while we’re gone, Celeste.”

“I always behave,” Celeste replied.

I followed Mr. Filius through a door and into a room lined with cubbyholes, each one filled with a jumble of brown boxes and scrolls. In the center of the room stood a table covered in various tools and equipment, pieces of glass, and bits of wire. As soon as the door shut behind us, Mr. Filius began to laugh.

“She’s a funny little thing, isn’t she? For a moment, I thought I was examining the Grand Duchess instead of a little girl.”

“Please excuse her,” I said. “She’s still getting used to her situation. She only recently became Lord Frey’s ward.”

“Oh yes, I know her history. I’m glad to see she’s so strong willed, after hearing about her sad past.”

I nodded in agreement.

“That little girl isn’t the only odd newcomer to the hill country. If you’ll pardon my frankness, my Lady, not many countesses would trouble themselves with a new ward so soon after being married. A lady of your stature would usually send the child with her governess.”

“I made a promise to her,” I said.

Mr. Filius smiled and went to the cubbyholes, pulling out boxes and piling them on the table.

“You tolerate my tongue fairly well. The last noblewoman I met boxed my ears for my impertinence.”

I didn’t know what to say to this, so I went to the corner cubbyholes, where there were several books, and searched for the picture book Mr. Filius had described.

“Celeste’s eyes appear to be healthy. Some vision degradation in young children isn’t at all uncommon. I’ll have her try some lenses, and then I’ll make frames to fit a child’s face.”

“Could you make a larger pair with frames to match?” I asked. “My vision is sharp, so I will only need plain glass, but I promised Celeste I would get a pair of spectacles to match in order to persuade her to come.”

Mr Filius looked through the boxes he’d put on the table, and then began to stack them in his arms. “My father would have persuaded me with a hickory stick.”

“Yes- my father used the same methods.”

Mr Filius laughed again, a robust sound that filled the tiny room. “I’ve been very anxious to meet you, my Lady. When Lord Frey put in his order for your wedding gift-”

“Oh! Did you make the instrument?”

Mr Filius smiled and put a finger to his lips. “Now, don’t start any rumors about me, Lady. I am a respectable oculist.”

“I don’t have the words to thank you,” I said. “The instrument- it’s truly a miracle.”

“Your husband gave me thanks enough in the form of gold,” Mr Filius said. “If you wish to show your gratitude, then keep my secret. Common men like me have been led to the gallows for lesser sins.”

“I swear; I will never tell a soul,” I said. “Can you tell me how the instrument works?”

Mr. Filius raised a grey, bushy eyebrow. “You’d have to join the oculist guild to gain those secrets. Or-” he gestured to his table with his free hand, “you can play with my lenses until you discover the secret yourself. I can tell you that light obeys nature’s laws in its own particular way. The forbidden instrument is no more miraculous than a cart’s wheel or a clock.

“Now, I think these lenses are enough to start with. Ah- I see that you’ve found the book.” Mr Filius shifted the boxes in his arms and somehow opened the door. “After you, my Lady.”

You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.

#

After Celeste’s examination was complete, I paid Mr. Filius and left an advance for the spectacles, which he promised to deliver to the manor within a week.

When Celeste was settled in the carriage, I discovered I had left my purse inside the shop. I left Celeste in Coachman’s care, and dashed inside to retrieve it.

“…in Lord Frey’s barouche outside. Such a pretty child,” a woman’s voice was whispering as I neared the door.

“Yes, such a shame. Let us hope her mother’s sins don’t affect her,” another woman said in reply.

“Well, that can scarcely be avoided. I blame the child’s father, whoever he is. If he had married the woman, she wouldn’t have resorted to unnatural methods to force his hand.”

“You mustn’t speak like that,” the second woman hissed. “After all, they say the father was Lord Frey. He could hardly marry a common slag.”

I stopped by the door, my heart pounding, until the women’s conversation paused. Then I took a deep breath, held my head high, and walked into the shop as though I hadn’t heard a thing.

#

Passing through the gates at Rowan Heights felt like entering a prison cell.

I was glad that Celeste had fallen asleep on the carriage ride home, so she could not see my involuntary shudder as I gazed up at the manor on the hill above us. While Celeste and I were in town, I had considered taking Celeste straight to my father and the high priest, and telling them everything I had seen the night before. I didn’t like the idea of sending my own husband to prison, but Celeste’s safety was paramount.

Fortunately, common sense had stopped me before I’d tried anything so hasty. No one would take my word over my husband’s, especially with such a fantastic story, and I had no evidence to present against him. Indeed, when I remembered the events of the night before, I began to doubt my own sanity. However, Hope’s confession to me that he was a heretic, and his previous attempts at mesmerizing me, kept me from dismissing the previous night’s events as a dream.

The carriage hit a bump, and Celeste yawned and shifted on her seat.

I thought again about the nasty rumors I’d heard about Hope and his treatment of Celeste’s mother. I had to admit that Hope seemed to genuinely care for Celeste. He didn’t treat his ward with the courtly gallantry he bestowed on me- rather, he showed true affection. He had gone out of his way to please her on multiple occasions, and when he looked at her, his smiles actually reached his warm brown eyes.

The carriage rattled onto the gravel path that led to the manor doors.

Perhaps, I reasoned, I should appeal to the goodness that lay within Hope- the part of him that loved Celeste. Maybe, if I tried, I could open his eyes to the danger he was putting in Celeste’s way. In the meantime, in case he could not be convinced, I would have to gather evidence of…

The carriage slowed and stopped at the manor door.

I sighed to myself and opened the carriage. Why did my mind flinch away from the word? The horror would be real whether I shut my eyes or gazed upon it. Hope was practicing dark magic. He and his friends were witches.

My blood ran cold as I realized that if I did present the High Priest with evidence against Hope, Hope would not be imprisoned. He would be tortured until he gave up his fellow witches’ names, and then they would all be hanged. Hope, Brother Lux, Chastity, and the other dark robed figures- whom I strongly suspected were Hope’s other friends- would die.

#

After putting Celeste down for a nap, I instructed Mercy to unpack the parcels we’d brought back from town, and then I went up to my study. I opened a book and placed it on the desk in front of me, in case anyone came in, and I continued to think.

I would collect evidence, I decided. Even if I was reluctant to use it, I thought it might eventually be the saving of me. Unfortunately, Hope might still be watching me for signs his hypnosis hadn’t worked, so I would have to avoid the library, the cellar, and the cottage for the time being. I had often wondered if the high tower of the manor’s east wing would be a good observing spot, so I might request that my telescope be moved to the manor from the cottage without suspicion.

I wondered, as I flipped my book’s pages idly back and forth, if Hope had given me the telescope in order to tempt me away from the faith. But no, I thought with a bitter sigh. Hope didn’t care about me enough to tempt me. He had merely amused himself by giving an inappropriate gift to a sheltered girl, and laughed at her conflict in receiving it.

I didn’t care. The telescope had opened the universe to me, and I would explore it, no matter the consequences.

“Selfish girl,” I muttered to myself.

Just then there was a sharp knock on the door, and Chastity entered before I could answer.

“I beg your pardon, Lady Frey,” Chastity said with a curtsey. “I’m in need of your assistance.”

I stood. “Is Celeste already awake?”

“No- the young lady is resting quietly. Rather, I need your help with Lord Frey.”

“With Lord Frey?”

“Indeed. He is in a terrible state, and I don’t believe I can persuade him to be rational. I need you to speak to him.”

“But, I don’t think I could…” I trailed off as I remembered Hope’s power. Chastity knew that I could resist it.

“Don’t worry, my Lady. I believe that your gentle ways may soothe him better than my rough manners. Come with me.”

I nodded and followed Chastity back downstairs.

As we passed the drawing room, I was surprised to hear Lady Willoughby’s Lute, accompanied by her sweet voice and punctuated here and there with general laughter. The sounds of music and merriment provided a stark contrast to the somber atmosphere the night before.

Just underneath the music, though, I could hear a low, mournful cry from further away. It echoed down the hall and grew stronger as Chastity and I walked.

Chastity opened the door to the morning room and frowned. “Oh no- he’s fallen asleep.”

I looked into the room and saw Hope lying on a sofa, cradling an empty bottle of wine to his chest. His eyes were closed, but his body rocked slightly back as forth as he groaned.

“No- no please, not Prudence. Please, please…” he groaned before his voice broke off into unintelligible cries.

Chastity bustled across the room and bent down, taking the bottle from him and brushing his hair away from his sweat-drenched face.

“Wake up,” she demanded in a voice that thundered through the room.

Hope jerked up and opened his eyes, and then he pushed at Chastity with feeble arms. “Leave me- I don’t want you,” he mumbled, laying down again.

“I won’t leave you in such a state,” Chastity said firmly. “You know it’s worse when you drink.”

Hope laughed dryly, and then turned away from her. “Save your compassion for someone who deserves it. I won’t pretend, today. I can’t pretend.”

Chastity beckoned me into the room with one hand, and shook Hope’s shoulder with the other.

Hope lay still for a few moments, seemingly unmoved, and then he stood up swiftly and put his hand on Chastity’s head, staring into her eyes.

Without thinking I stepped between them and took Hope’s other hand. “Please, Hope- please listen to her.”

Hope cut me off with another rough laugh and turned away. “Of course you would bring her, just when she is least wanted.”

“Hope, I know you don’t like me, but-”

“Yes, well spotted,” he said scathingly. He stumbled back to the couch and half-collapsed onto it. “Just when I’m comfortable in my loneliness, they punish me with a beautiful wife. And now my own servant won’t allow me to suffer. Go away. Go away, all of you.”

His voice boomed around the room, almost as loudly as Chastity’s had, and I nearly fled the room in fear. But then Hope seemed to collapse in on himself, and I couldn’t bear the sight.

“Think of Celeste,” I said. “She would not wish for you to suffer.”

“She would if she knew-”

“She needs you.” I interrupted.

Hope looked up at me. His eyes seemed blank and unseeing, as though he were blinded by pain. Then he turned to Chastity.

“One night won’t kill me, you know. I just want to feel this pain for one night. Tomorrow I will wake and life will continue.”

Chastity opened her mouth as though to answer, but at that moment, Mercy burst into the room.

“Oh, Miss, I’ve been looking everywhere. Coach has gotten into a fight with Mr. Poe, and Mr. Poe says that he will leave his place, and-”

“Very well, Mercy, I’ll be there shortly. Lady Frey-” Chastity said, turning to me. “I leave this to you.”

And without another word, Chastity turned and left.

Hope stumbled over to me and placed his hands on my shoulders. He leaned so close to me that could feel his breath on my face- hot and stinking of bitter wine.

“Dear Grace, don’t you hate me? Don’t you wish for me to suffer?”

“Why would I?” I asked.

“I don’t love you,” he whispered. “I’m your husband, and I don’t love you at all.”

“That’s fine. I don’t love you.”

Hope put his head heavily on my shoulder, as though he could no longer support it on his own. “That’s a relief. I thought you were using Celeste to impress me.”

“Oh, no. I really love Celeste. But it doesn’t follow that I love you.”

“I hold you in contempt, you know. I compare you to Celeste’s mother every day, and you are insipid and ugly and spiritless compared to her. Sometimes I can’t tell if you are shy or just stupid. Now, do you hate me?”

“I hold you in contempt, as well.” The words I wouldn’t normally have ever spoken tumbled out, fueled by a flush of anger. “You are artful and scheming. You hide your true face behind vapid flattery.”

Hope stood upright, and looked at me in triumph.

“Even so, you’ve always treated me with kindness, so I cannot hate you and-” I shut my eyes so I wouldn’t see his triumphant face.

“And you won’t give me the satisfaction.”

I sighed.

Hope put his head back on my shoulder. “Remind me to behave like a brute to you, tomorrow. I don’t have the energy, today.”

I laughed, then, so hard that I almost doubled over. I was sweating, and my arms and legs were trembling as though with exertion, but the knot of dread that had sat in my stomach all day had loosened. Quarreling with Hope had dispelled some of my fear.

“Come, let me take you upstairs, at least. You should rest,” I said.

Hope laughed, too. “Yes, take me to bed. I want to sleep.”

I supported Hope’s weight as best as I could as we made our way back down the hallway, and then stopped at the stairs.

“You’re stronger than you look,” he said.

“You’re lighter than you look,” I countered. “I cannot bear all of your weight, though, so do take the bannister.”

“As you wis-wish,” Hope slurred, and he took the bannister as he stumbled up the stairs. I supported his other arm, but I thought I would be little help, as small as I am, if he were to fall.

We made it up the stairs and into the master bedroom, and he fell onto the gold brocade bedspread without letting go of my arm. I attempted to maneuver him under the covers, but his body remained still, and when I heard his soft snores, I decided to let him be.

I was unable to extract my hand from his, so I sat on the bed beside him and stared out the sweeping, westward window. There was a view of the valley and the brook that wound between the hills, which glimmered in the golden evening light. After a time, the sky grew rosier, and I could hear the gentle calls of the shepherdess as she led her sheep downhill. Then, the sun sank behind the hills.

Hope had relaxed his grip on my arm, and I was able to pull my hand away. I crept to the door and opened it carefully, trying to keep the hinges from squeaking.

“No- no please. Help me- help me,” I heard Hope moan behind me.

I rushed back to the bed and saw that Hope was tossing and crying out in his sleep once more.

“Hope,” I whispered, and took his hand.

Hope quieted, became still, and his breathing settled again.

I sat back on the bed and placed a pillow behind my back. I watched Hope’s face as it relaxed- his forehead smoothed, his lips opened slightly, and his eyelashes fluttered against his pale cheeks.

My own eyelids grew heavy, and I leaned back against the pillow and let them close.

#

When I awoke, the sky through the western window was soft pink, and the room was quiet and still. I couldn’t hear Hope’s snoring, and I no longer held his hand. A shiver ran up my spine, and the hairs on the back of my neck prickled. I had the strange sensation of being watched.

I sat up and turned to see Hope standing beside the bed in a fresh suit of clothes. He was regarding me intently, as though he meant to take my likeness.

“I beg your pardon- I didn’t meant to-”

“You stayed with me all night,” he said.

“I was going to leave you, but as soon as I got up you became restless.”

“So you came back, held my hand, and my nightmares went away,” he said.

I nodded.

“Why would you help me after the terrible things I said?”

“You were drunk,” I said. “And I said terrible things, as well.”

“You have no idea what you did for me,” Hope said. “I haven’t slept peacefully in ten years.”

I slid off of the bed and stood up. “Why not?”

“I’ve been plagued by nightmares ever since-” he took a deep breath, “ever since Celeste’s mother left. I failed to keep her safe, but I loved her. I really did love her.”

“I believe you. None of the gossips have seen you with Celeste, or witnessed your pain.” I pressed his hand again, and turned to go. “May the Gods bless you.”

“Wait, don’t go. Is there anything I can do for you- anything at all?”

“There is one thing I meant to ask. Could you have my telescope brought to the manor? I wish to try the view from the east tower.”

“An excellent idea, but is that all? Surely, I can do more for you.”

“If you would-” I hesitated. Was it too soon?

“Yes? Anything.”

“I know you dislike it, but I believe Celeste would benefit from proper religious instruction. As this is the morning of week’s begin-”

“You would like us all to go to church? Your favors are not well-chosen. I was going to attend this morning, anyway.”

“You will attend? Truly?” I could not suppress my smile.

Home smirked in reply. “Nothing could keep me away from the cathedral, today.”

#

A party as merry as the one from the previous afternoon- almost inappropriately merry- made their way to the Cathedral Tenebris that morning.

The hill-country cathedral wasn’t half as grand as the Cathedral Lux. It was built in an old style of architecture and made from rough-hewn stone from the nearby quarry. There were few archways and no columns, and a single, crumbling angel guarded the oak door.

Brother Lux led our party into the cathedral dressed in somber vestments, and with his head bowed in respect. He ignored Lady Willoughby and Mrs. Auber’s idle gossip, and Hope and Celeste’s happy chatter. Lord Willoughby, who walked by me in silence, had a sparkle in his eye and a spring in his step.

After we entered the cathedral, and Brother Lux parted with us to join the clergy in the front. Celeste swung Hope’s hand as she skipped up the aisle, and Lady and Lord Willoughby parted with us to find their family’s pew.

There were some whispers as Hope walked up the aisle hand in hand with Celeste, but otherwise, the Cathedral was quiet. After we’d seated, a grey-bearded priest entered wearing plain black robes, free of all jewels and adornments. The choir, similarly robed, remained seated.

“This morning, we are a shepherdless flock. There is no one protect us from the darkness, and no one to guide us toward the light.”

The priest paused and looked out over his congregation with a grave expression, seeming to frown at every individual in turn, before he continued.

“Yesterday morning, the former High Priest, Father Sauris was found dead. His name will be struck from the annals, and he will not be buried with honors, because his last act was to defy the will of the gods, and take his life with his own hands.”

The crowd seemed to explode all at once. There was yelling, crying, and frightened babble all around me. The priest made no move to restore order. Instead, he continued to stare gravely at the crowd.

Hope had taken Celeste in his arms. “Oh, my darling, it’s over.”

Celeste shot me a frightened look.

Across the aisle, Lady and Lord Willoughby were also embracing, but then there were many embracing in the crowd. Mrs. Aubert, sitting with a group of ladies all dressed in black, wept openly.

I hardly knew when the crowd settled, and barely heard the prayer the priest offered when the weeping was done. Before I could properly think about what had happened, I was outside again, walking with Hope and Celeste to the carriage.

“Brother!”

I turned around, and saw that Brother Lux was running to catch up with us.

“I shan’t accompany you home,” he said. “Monsignor Pius has ordered me to return to the monastery.”

Hope embraced his brother, and then took a brown scroll-case from his pocket, muttering something into his brother’s ear.

I stared at the scroll, and I found my mind returning to the day I’d met Hope. Was that scroll the same object I’d seen him take from Father Sauris? It seemed to be, but I could hardly trust my own memory, in that moment.

I looked back at Hope, who was smiling at his brother as he waved farewell, and I found myself torn between suspicion and the fragile friendship we’d begun to forge.