Fated To The Alpha by Jessica Hall Chapter 84 Katya POV Waking, I sit up to see Ezra, and our room making me wonder if it was all some sick dream my mind conjured up to torture me with, another vision of a time to come.
âMy mum?â I ask him, praying he would be confused and not know what I am talking about, that it was in fact just a dream, yet he just stares, his eyes softening like he didnât know what to say.
âShe is gone Kat, it wasnât a dream, I wish it wasâ Kora wails in my head, her soul crushing pain, making me feel it in every fibre of my being, she was dead.
I never pictured my life without my mother in it, who does. You donât think of someone who raised you, who was the strongest figure in your life, the one that holds the most influence in who you become as gone. My mother was my biggest supporter, my biggest critic but she was mine. Nothing measures up to the pain that comes with losing a mother especially when she gave her life for yours. Inconsolable pain, soul shattering, destroying pain is what it feels like when you realise the woman that was always there would no longer be.
Then there was my father, if I felt like this I would hate to know what it feels like to him, to lose a mate. Your other half, a piece of yourself, yet he lost it twice and all because he loved me. I am my fatherâs destruction, that I know will always be mine to bear, my life not only once took everything from him, first my real mother, then the woman who raised me. My life seems to cost everyone theirs all for some curse bestowed by a Moon Goddess who was supposed to love us, though she condemned me to a life of misery and watching those i love die around me. Anger was not a strong enough word for how much I hated my existence because without it she would still be here.
âYour father is staying in one of the guest roomsâ Ezra says, making me focus back on him. I nod climbing off him, exactly how does someone tell their own father Iâm sorry for being the reason your soulmate is dead. I couldnât face him not now.
âKat?â Ezra says as I sit on the end of the bed, this could have been avoided if they let me heal her, they all stood and watched, watched her turn grey, watched her die for me and not one of them let me help her when they knew I could.
âWe canât save everyone Kat, not without suffering the consequences, the consequences for her life would have been oursâ Kora says.
âWe donât know that and now we will never know,â I told her.
âI know it wasnât a risk they were willing to take Kat, not even your father was willing to trade her life for yours, mum wouldnât, she would hate us if we tried and died for her. I see that now, you just need to tooâ Kora says.
Now what, what happens now we just move on like she never existed, I couldnât fathom going on without her, not without hearing her voice, feel the softness of her hands and the warmth of her hugs. How does one survive without that?
âWe have them, we have dad thatâs howâ Kora says yet her words donât make me feel any better.
âStay out of my head Koraâ
âBit hard when I live in itâ She retorts becoming annoyed with me, I was annoyed at her too.
Ezra grabs my hand and I pull away from him, not because I didnât want him touching me, but because I knew if he did I would break, I would rather the feeling of being numb then the floodworks, least then I donât have to feel anything at all and can live in my own misery and deal on my own as long as they donât touch me.
âWhere did dad take her?â I ask.
âThe morgue, but I canât let you go there Katâ
âI know that, I was just asking Ezraâ I told him before getting up and walking to the bathroom. I was still naked from shifting and I could smell blood all over me and it was beginning to make my skin itch as it stained me. Ezra comes in just as I step in the shower sitting on the sink basin and staring at me.
âYou donât need to linger, just go do whatever you need to doâ I tell him.
âYour madâ
âIâm not mad at you just go awayâ
âYou know that isnât going to happen so why bother asking, youâre my mate kat. I am not going to just leave youâ
âWhy, do you want to pretend you actually liked her, bet Maddox is glad he got what he wanted, what you both wanted only difference is he isnât afraid to admit it, you donât have to play nice because she is my mum Ezra and it is insulting that you would try, so just leave me beâ
âI donât hate your mother Katâ
âWhy because she is dead, because you hated her a week ago you donât have to pretend to give a Sh*tâ I tell him, rinsing my hair, congealed blood plopping on the ground before dissolving and washing down the drain.
âYou have every right to be angry Kat, but that doesnât give you a right to be a b*tchâ Ezra says before walking out.
âThat was uncalled for Kat and you know itâ Kora says.
âMaybe so but it was the truthâ I tell her, grabbing the soap. I showered not wanting to get out, like I could wash away the emotion that is solely her.
Trying to build the courage to check on my father. Hopping out of the shower I grab a towel wrapping it around me before walking into the walk in and grabbing some pajamas, I could see it was dark outside coming back out and Ezra walks in with Mateo.
âWhich room is my father in?â I ask them.
âThird doorâ Mateo answers looking down the hall. I swallowed the lump forming in my throat and walking down the hall and I could smell his scent seeping from the crack under the door, opening the door all I could smell was the saltiness of his tears. He was asleep on the bed and it was strange seeing my father, looking so broken. He was curled up under the blanket yet even asleep he still reeked of his despair which was no doubt haunting his dreams too. I pulled the blanket back climbing in behind him and draped my arm over his waist when I felt him move before grabbing my hand in his.
âHey Pumpkinâ he whispers before I feel his body shake, seeing him break and come apart at the seams, destroying the last piece of hope I had that he would survive this a second time. Kora cried in my head at his anguish, and I couldnât bring myself to say anything, just hold him like he could somehow put the pieces of himself back together without her.
Mateo POV I knew her pain, lived it twice and honestly never gets easier when you realise everything they will miss, certain days that represent them, birthdays, mothers day, holidays the things they were always there for suddenly feel empty and pointless without them.
We waited for her to come out of the room, yet hours passed and after awhile Ezra felt her fall asleep.
âWe should probably organise funeral arrangements tomorrowâ Ezra tells me and I nod.
âShe might want to helpâ I tell him and he nods, neither of us had how our mothers, we both lost ours while young and now my biological mother was more a distant memory. From what I do remember of her I know she never wanted me, not me in particular just children in general that much was clear. I was just to continue the bloodline, my father wanted me, he was a good man and never spared an opportunity to be with me and Ezra considering we were joined at the hip. Andrea, my adoptive mother, she was my real mother, she loved unconditionally despite my many flaws and despite the fact I wasnât hers, she was a real mother and the true definition of what a mother is.
We had been listening to the late night news for what felt like hours now as we waited for her to come out. Hearing the door click we both looked down the hall thinking it would be Kat, only it was her fathers scent that wafted to us.
Getting up, I go to check on him and he stops when he catches sight of me looking up before looking back at the door to where Kat was. I feel Ezra walk up behind me and Derrickâs eyes go to him over my shoulder.
âI canât, Iâm sorry but I canât be here, take care of my daughterâ He says confusing me when he moves, turning for the stairs.
âWaitâ I tell him, grabbing his arm.
âIâm sorry, I thought I could but I canât stay here, not without Shirleyâ He says tears streaking his face.
âBut she is your daughterâ I tell him knowing Kat would not handle this very well.
âYou canât just leaveâ Ezra says, stepping around me when Derrick squares up looking Ezra in the eyes. He was destroyed but I still couldnât believe he would abandon her like this.
âI Derrick Hartley denounce my loyalty to Alpha Ezra Pierce and hereby declare myself rogueâ He says before swallowing and I look at Ezra, his jaw clenched tight as Maddox flickered to the surface, his fist balled as his body trembled.
âMaddox itâs her fatherâ I tell him, squeezing his arm and he presses his lips in a line before Maddox finally speaks.
âCome back, donât leave her on her ownâ He says though I could tell he wanted to rip him apart for what he was doing.
âShe isnât alone, she has both of youâ Derrick says before turning on his heel and walking down the stairs the moment he stepped out of the packhouse, his scent was picked up by our patrollers.
âRogueâ says Alex voice through the mindlink and Ezraâs body shakes violently.
âItâs katâs father let him pass, make sure he gets off safelyâ I mindlink.
âYes Betaâ Alex replies.
Maddox still had control of Ezra and I knew he would be struggling to get back control from him after. His eyes trained on the stairs where Derrick just took off from. Walking down the hall, I open the bedroom door to see Kat asleep on the bed before scooping her up, Maddox comes to the door as I walk out and I pass her to him but he shakes his head.
âI need to go for a run, I canât be around her like thisâ He says and I nod.
âWant me to come?â I ask him, I couldnât even reach Ezra, Maddox completely shoving him out which made me a little uneasy considering I have his mate in my arms when she suddenly sniffs the air. âMateo?â she whispers and Maddox steps closer to her gently brushing my cheek.
Fated To The Alpha ï¤Chapter 83 Alpha's Regret-My Luna Has A Son ï¤Chapter 149: Epilogue âGo back to sleep Kitty, Ezra will be home soonâ he says before nodding to me. He leaves and I carry her back to her room placing her on the bed.
The sun was beginning to come up out the window, and in a few hours we would have to deal with Madeline who was down in the basement. Ezra didnât want to do anything until Kat decided what she wanted to do with her and I agree, if anyone has the right for revenge Kat does, killing her wasnât our place unless she asked us to.
Yawning I close my eyes before feeling her wriggle over in her sleep, I grab Ezraâs pillow propping it next to her so she has his scent when she suddenly rolls into me instead and snuggles under my arm.