Chapter 289: Chapter 289: 204: I Don’t Quite Understand, but I Want You to Know Someone Cares About Your Feelings_3

“Brother Xu, guess what she said?”

Xu Qingyan: “She likes someone?”

“Yeah.” Zhou Mian’s eyes dimmed slightly, “At that time, I thought she was talking about me. I still remember being incredibly nervous.”

“My entire body was burning up, itchy everywhere. She said… she likes xxx, another good-looking intern in our department.”

The night breeze blew, Pei Muchan and Zhou Lili were frolicking with fireworks in hand. Further off lay a stretch of profound darkness, where Xu Qingyan and Zhou Mian, two grown men, leaned on folding chairs across the dinner table.

The charcoal on the barbecue grill had long been extinguished, and the leftovers on the table turned cold. An orange night light clipped onto the edge of the table illuminated the two-meter area around it, brightness +1.

After a long pause, Zhou Mian drew a deep breath, his voice as hoarse as if he had smoked several cigarettes.

“I’m such a damned… unlucky guy, mistaking pleasantries for sweet nothings.”

Xu Qingyan didn’t speak but picked up the already cold tea from the table and swirled it, their glasses clinking together.

After they both drained their glasses, he spoke.

“Live well.”

Zhou Mian nodded, “Got it.”

He actually had a lot more to say, stuck in his heart, but no matter what, he couldn’t bring himself to complain about his wife in front of others, even though she truly wasn’t very understanding.

Half an hour later, after cleaning up the trash, they took the same route back and drove away.

Xu Qingyan was driving the car, ready to take Pei Muchan home. Passing by a park, Pei Muchan suddenly asked him to stop the car and pointed towards the park.

Xu: “????”

The night wind swept through as both of them appeared on the swings. This was an open park with badly worn swings, and Pei Muchan sat on one, gently swinging back and forth.

“Do you like to swing? Or do you come here often?”

“No, it’s too crowded, I’m afraid to come. I’ve always wanted to, but never found the chance,” said Pei Muchan, holding onto the swing’s chains, swinging back and forth.

“I see, then enjoy it for a bit longer.” He said nonchalantly.

Pei Muchan turned to look at him, only to see Xu Qingyan swiping his phone while swinging. The same casual laziness, but without any sign of impatience.

“Do you like swinging?”

“Swing who?”

Pei: “….You really like those lowbrow jokes.”

“Occasionally, when I’m in a bad mood, I really do,” Xu Qingyan said as he put away his phone, nonchalantly, “A lot of people don’t like me. I don’t care, because I was never a saint.”

“Sometimes I can’t even be described as purely good. I just accept myself for who I am. Accept oneself, then accept others.”

“Like the crude joke I just made, I accept that side of me. Later, if I find some shady websites on your phone, I will accept you too.”

“You’re the one with… websites. I don’t have those things on my phone!” Pei Muchan blushed, spitting at him.

“It doesn’t matter whether you do or don’t; I was just making an analogy,” Xu Qingyan swayed on the swing, “Hey, you’re right, this thing is actually quite fun.”

Pei: “….”

Even after getting used to him, sometimes she couldn’t adjust to Xu Qingyan’s occasionally erratic train of thought.

“I’m trying to counsel you now; you can take it as comfort,” he continued, his voice becoming tangible in the night breeze, “but the truth is, there’s no such thing as genuine empathy in this world.”

“You rarely talk about your troubles. My unwarranted guesses would be completely off the mark. However, we don’t really need a whole night of heart-to-heart for such annoying matters; It’s too much fuss.”

“I once heard an old man talk about the Dream of the Red Chamber; he said Xue Baochai was truly independent and rebellious because she immersed herself in the secular world, transcending her own existence.

“What does that mean? It means she didn’t care about herself at all. Existing in the mortal world, soaking up its banality, but her soul flitted through the cold mountain air, indifferent to everyone, including herself.

“Unable to resist her fate, she was prepared to compromise, to take seriously a life ruled by worldly norms. Just that she had no expectations and lived only for herself.”

Pei Muchan stopped swinging, listening intently, entranced.

She indeed harbored such thoughts. So, when Xu Qingyan showed his talent, she was willing to try again, even though she disliked the music industry and was thinking of withdrawing.

But reason told her to try once more, so she did.

After her comeback, even though she wasn’t too interested in fame, she would still strive with all her might for a chance to be successful, and upon realizing she was powerless to change anything, she gave up.

She rarely managed her networking, not because she didn’t know how to. When Lin Chuan called Xu Qingyan, she would remind him to consider cultivating a connection.

After a tumble in the mortal world, who would be a pure white lotus? It’s just a matter of unwillingness.

“I’ve said so much, and it might not truly comfort you,” Xu Qingyan got off the swing and walked over to Pei Muchan, who was still by her still swing.

“I just want you to know that someone cares about your feelings. I don’t understand much, but I care a lot. If you’re really good at hiding, can you try to hide it now?”

Pei Muchan looked up, her view overshadowed by his figure. The streetlight cast its light from the end of the road, outlining his figure with a faint golden halo.

Xu Qingyan looked down, meeting her gaze.

“Can you?”

She looked up at him for a while but found it hard to speak and shook her head.

“No, I can’t.”

“Why?” he asked.

“I don’t want to hide; I’m unhappy now, and I want you to know it,” Pei Muchan said softly, showing a rare petulance.@@novelbin@@

“Later, when I get home, I’ll cry, and I’ll record it and send it to you. I want you to remember how upset I am, and best if it keeps you awake tonight.”

“Then I’ll delete you as a friend,” he said in a soft voice.

“You….”

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