15th October, 2022 - Los Angeles, California
"No!" Lux shrieks as Sebastian hoists her down into the warm bathwater. She thrashes harshly against his grip, trying to wriggle free but is hold on her is too firm.
"Sweetheart, stop," Sebastian said, his voice gentle yet firm. "You're all scraped up. I need to clean your cuts so they don't get infected." His large hands held her securely but without causing pain, careful not to add to her distress.
He'd already tried dabbing some antibiotic ointment onto her knees and palms with a cotton pad but she wasn't having it so he figured the next best thing would be a warm bath so he could at least get rid of all the dirt and debris on her.
The warm water lapped at her scrapes on her palm and knees causing her to let out a few upset whimpers. It stung a lot.
She continued to thrash, her movements desperate as water splashed over the edge of the tub. "I d-don't w-want this! I don't n-need you!" she screamed, tears rolling down her cheeks as her emotions boiled over.
Her fists pounded weakly against his forearms, but Sebastian didn't flinch.
"Luxie," he murmured, his voice low but steady. "I know you're upset. I know you're angry. And that's okay. But you're hurt, and I need to take care of you. That's what daddies do."
Lux lets out a cry of frustration, trying to stand up in the tub so that she could get out, only for Sebastian to plop her right back down into the water. She was so angry and frustrated that she didn't even care that she was completely naked in front of him - something which would usually have her mortified.
"Sit still, sweetheart. Fighting me is only going to make it worse. I promise this will be quick." He says softly, bringing a wash cloth up to her palm and gently wiping away the dirt and dried blood from around her cuts.
She glared at him through her tears, her small hands trembling as they gripped the edge of the tub. "You're n-not my d-daddy!" she shouts, her voice shaky and loud from frustration.
"I know you feel that way right now, baby. But I am here to take care of you, whether you want me to or not." He says, continuing to clean up her left palm.
Lux sobbed harder, the feelings frustration and anger mingling inside her. She hated this feeling of helplessness, of being controlled, of having every decision made for her.
Sebastian stayed calm, letting her cry it out. He knew the storm of emotions raging inside her had to find its release somehow. He worked quickly, rinsing the washcloth and carefully dabbing at her knees. She flinched with each pass, her tiny hands clutching the sides of the tub, her knuckles white.
"Luxie," he murmured again, softer this time. "I know it hurts, sweetheart, and I know you're mad at me. But I can't let you hurt yourself more by leaving those scrapes untreated."
"Jus' let m-me g-go!" She screams, lifting her hand up to hit the man but he swiftly catches it and puts her arm back down by her side.
"I can't do that, sweetheart," he said "You're not safe out there on your own. And no matter how angry you are, I won't stop taking care of you."
Lux let out another frustrated wail, her chest heaving as she tried to pull her hand away. "I don't need you!" she screamed, the words echoing in the small bathroom. "I don't want you! Y-you don't care about me! You just want someone to boss around!"
Sebastian sighed, setting the washcloth down for a moment. He knelt beside the tub, keeping his eyes level with hers. His face was calm, though his sadness was evident in the soft crease of his brows. "I know it feels that way right now, my little Luxie. And I'm so so sorry you feel like this. But that's not true. Not even a little bit."
Lux screams and cries, trying to thrash around any chance she got. She was so overwhelmed and frustrated by the situation that she didn't know what to do with herself.
"Stop it!" She shouts, trying to push him away. "I d-don't want t-this. I j-just want to go h-home."
Sebastian's gaze didn't waver. "Sweetheart," he said gently, "where was home, really? Was it the place where no one noticed when you cried yourself to sleep? Or where you had to take care of yourself because no one else would?"
His words struck a chord she hadn't expected, and for a moment, her defiance faltered.
Sebastian sighed again, reaching out to brush a wet strand of hair from her face. "I know you don't believe me now, and that's okay. But I promise, Luxie, we didn't bring you here to hurt you. You deserve to be loved, even if it's hard for you to accept right now."
"W-well I don't w-want to be here." She seethes quietly, her voice filled with a type of silent tension which Sebastian hadn't heard before. Not in Lux. "a-and I hope t-that something a-awful happens to y-you and papa in t-the night so I c-can escape. I hate a-all of you."
Her words were quiet and shaky but Sebastian could see and hear just how angry and frustrated the poor girl was.
Sebastian's expression flickered for a moment, a flash of pain crossing his face, but it was gone as quickly as it came. He continued his careful work, cleaning the last of the cuts on her knees before rinsing the cloth again. "I know you feel that way right now, sweetheart," he said, his voice steady. "But hate is a strong word, and I don't believe it's how you really feel deep down. You're hurt, you're scared, and you feel like no one's listening. Am I right?"
She didn't answer, only glared at him through her tears. The water around her rippled as she shifted, her small frame tense and defensive. "You don't c-care about me," she muttered. "You just want a s-stupid doll to play with."
Sebastian stilled, his hands resting in the water for a moment before he leaned closer. "Luxie, look at me," he said gently. His tone was soft but commanding, enough to draw her teary eyes up to his face. "You are not a doll. You are not a toy. You are a person, a little girl who deserves to feel safe and loved. And yes, I care about you. More than you know."
Her lip trembles and a fresh set of tears well up. She looks back down at the water in the bath. She didn't want this. She didn't want any of this and she didn't understand why they couldn't see that.
Sebastian lets the silence linger, not rushing to fill it. He could see the way her small frame was trembling in anger and frustration. He could see the tears fall down her cheeks and hear the sniffles and hiccups that came with it. Yet he didn't tell her to stop. He knew it was important to let her feel what she's feeling. All these emotions had been bubbling up inside her so long (way before she even came to live with them) and they were finally spilling out.
"You're right," he said finally, breaking the quiet in the room. "You don't want this, and I can't blame you. It's a lot, isn't it? Everything changed, and you didn't ask for any of it."
Lux stays silent, refusing to meet his gaze, anger seething beneath her skin.
"I'd be angry too," he continued. "I'd probably say all kinds of mean things and fight just like you are. Because it's not fair, is it? None of it feels fair."
A sharp sob escaped Lux's throat before she could choke it back, her small shoulders trembling. Sebastian's heart ached for her, but he kept his tone calm and even, refusing to let her see anything but patience and understanding.
"It's not f-fair." Lux confirms, clenching her fists so hard that her knuckles turn white.
Sebastian nodded slowly, his face softening even more. "You're right, sweetheart. It's not fair. None of this is fair. You've been through so much, and now it feels like everything's being taken away from you again. I understand why you're angry."
Lux bit her lip, sniffling loudly. "If y-you really understood, y-you'd let me go."
Sebastian tilted his head, his gaze steady as he leaned slightly closer. "I wish I could make you understand why I can't do that, Luxie," he said softly. "Not yet. Because letting you go right now wouldn't mean freedom. It would mean you'd be alone, with no one to help you heal. No one to make sure you're safe. And I can't let that happen to youânot when I care so much about you."
Lux shook her head fiercely, hot tears streaming down her face. "You d-don't care about me!" she spat, her voice cracking. "You don't even know me!"
Sebastian sighed, sitting back on his heels beside the tub. "I care about you because I see the brave, smart, and strong girl who's had to fight so hard on her own for so long. I care about you because you deserve to be cared for. Not because of what you do, but because of who you are."
Lux's breaths came in sharp, quick bursts, her chest rising and falling with each furious sob. The words he spoke, no matter how gentle or understanding, felt like chains tightening around her. She hated them. She hated how they made her feel even smaller, even more helpless.
"You don't get it!" she screamed through her tears, her voice breaking with the weight of her emotions. "I don't want to be cared for by you! I don't want you to take care of me!"
Her body was trembling, her hands clutching the sides of the tub like lifelines, but the anger still coursed through her veins, raw and untamed. Sebastian remained still, watching her, his expression calm but tinged with concern. He knew that this battle wasn't going to be won through words alone. But Lux didn't see that.
"C'mon baby." He murmurs. "Let's get you out of the bath. You'r all nice and clean now."
He picks her up from underneath her armpits, gently lifting her up into the air before placing her on the bathmat in front of him.
Her body trembled as she stood on the mat, feeling exposed and vulnerable. Her wet skin clung to the soft towel Sebastian draped over her shoulders, but it did little to ease the storm raging inside her. She felt small. And she hated it.
Sebastian didn't rush. He knelt beside her, his movements deliberate as he reached for a fresh towel. "Let's get you dried off, sweetheart," he said softly, his voice still gentle, though she could sense the quiet resolve in his words. He wasn't giving up. Not on her.
Lux clenched her fists again, the heat of her anger rising once more but she stayed silent. She'd attack back later. When she had more energy.
Sebastian's steady hands moved with precision as he gently patted her skin dry, careful not to press too hard on her tender cuts and bruises. Lux stood stiffly, her small body vibrating with a mix of exhaustion and pent-up frustration. Her glare remained fixed on the floor, refusing to meet his gaze.
He worked silently, letting the sound of the towel brushing against her skin and the dripping water fill the room. The quiet was heavy and full of frustration and resentment but Sebastian never forced Lux to talk. When he finished, he wrapped her in the large towel, bundling her up snugly despite her lack of cooperation.
"There we go, all done," Sebastian said softly, standing to his full height. He looked down at her, his face calm but weary. "How about we get you into some cozy pyjamas? I know you're tired." It was still very early in the day for pyjamas but after today's incident, Sebastian just wanted her comfortable and relaxed.
Lux didn't answer. Instead, she stared at her feet, her damp hair sticking to her face. She sniffled once, then again, refusing to let the lump in her throat spill over into another round of tears.
"Pyjamas it is" He says softly, taking her silence as a small agreement.
He lifts her up off the ground, carrying her out of the bathroom and over to her bedroom. She kept herself ridged, her head turned away as she focused on the walls rushing past her. She hated how easy it was for him to lift her, hated the warmth of his chest against her damp skin. Most of all, she hated how safe it felt, even when her mind screamed that she didn't want it.
Her bedroom was softly lit, a warm, inviting glow emanating from the bedside lamp. But Lux didn't see it as comforting. To her, it was a trap, a prison disguised as something gentle.
Sebastian set her down gently on the bed, keeping the towel wrapped snugly around her. He knelt in front of her, his face level with hers again, but he didn't say anything at first. He simply reached for a pair of white pyjamas with little cherries and strawberries embroidered into the cotton fabric.
"These are pretty, huh?" He says, holding them out for her to see.
Lux stays silent, only glancing at the pyjamas before looking away again. She wasn't going to give him the acknowledgment he wanted.
Sebastian didn't push her to respond. He nodded slightly as if her glance had been enough for him to carry on. "Alright, let's get you changed. You'll feel a lot better once you're all warm and cozy," he said, his tone still calm, unyielding in its patience. He set the pyjamas beside her and unwrapped the towel from her body.
Lux continues to stay still, quietly sniffling as he changes her. First, a diaper is slipped on and secured snugly around her waist. The indignity of it made Lux's cheeks flush with heat and she bit her lip to keep from screaming again. Her body felt too tired, too spent from all the thrashing and crying to resist anymore.
Sebastian was methodical, moving carefully so as not to startle her further. He pulled the soft pajama shirt over her head, threading her small arms through the sleeves as gently as one might handle a fragile doll. Next, he slipped the matching pants onto her, the fabric warm and comforting against her skin, though she refused to acknowledge it.
"All done," Sebastian said softly, standing and taking a step back. His tone wasn't triumphant or patronizingâit was just calm, steady. "You look so cozy, Luxie."
She glared at him through puffy, tear-streaked eyes. The fire inside her still burned, though it was dimmer now, banked by exhaustion and defeat. "I hate you," she muttered, her voice hoarse and wavering but still laced with tension and frustration.
Sebastian knelt down again, meeting her gaze head-on. He didn't flinch, didn't let the sting of her words show on his face. "I know you feel that way, baby," he said gently. "And it's okay to feel that. You can be mad at me, you can hate me right now if you need to. But I'm still going to take care of you."
Lux turned her face away, staring at the wall instead. Her lips trembled as fresh tears threatened to spill. "I don't w-want you to take care of me," she whispered, her voice breaking. "I don't want any of this."
He reached out, brushing a strand of hair from her face, but she swatted his hand away weakly. The motion lacked her earlier fury, her exhaustion evident in the sluggishness of her movements.
"I'm not trying to hurt you, little love," Sebastian said. "I know it feels like everything's out of your control right now. And that's scary. But I promise, I'm not your enemy."
Lux doesn't respond, her small fingers fiddling with the hem of her pyjama top.
"You've had such a rough day, hm?" He mumbles quietly, placing a large hand on her back and gently rubbing up and down. She's already had one nap today but Sebastian is desperate to get her down for another one. "It's been a lot, hasn't it?" he murmured. His voice was low and soothing, like the hum of a lullaby. "You've been so brave, sweetheart. It's okay to let yourself rest. Why don't we take a little nap, hm?"
"We?" Lux's voice was quiet, almost inaudible, but the edge of suspicion in her tone was unmistakable. Her red-rimmed eyes flicked up to Sebastian's face.
"Yes, we," Sebastian replied gently. "We can have a nice little lie down together in mine and papa's bed, how about that?"
She doesn't reply, still unconvinced.
He could see the gears turning in her tired mind, the way her body sagged slightly under the weight of exhaustion. "It's just to rest, Luxie," he continued softly. "No expectations. Just some quiet time with daddy to help you feel better."
"I'm not tired," she mumbled weakly.
Sebastian gave her a small, warm smile. "That's okay, sweetheart. You don't have to sleep if you don't want to. Just some quiet cuddles, nice and warm. Does that sound alright?"
Her lips pressed into a thin line as she wrestled with her conflicting emotions. The thought of being close to him, of feeling safe even for a moment, made her stomach twist. She didn't want to give inâbut her body craved the comfort her heart resisted.
Finally, with a deep, shaky breath, she gave the smallest of nods. "O-okay," she whispered, her voice barely audible. She agreed but she wasn't going to be happy about it.
Sebastian's smile softened further. He stood and held out his arms. "Come here, little love."
Lux hesitated for just a moment before reaching out, allowing him to scoop her up. His arms enveloped her with a gentle strength, and despite herself, she nestled against his chest, her small hands clutching at his shirt. He carried her down the hallway to his and Papa's room, the rhythmic motion of his steps lulling her closer to relaxation.
The bedroom was just the same as she remembered it, it only difference being that the bedding had been freshly changed.
Sebastian settled down with her, tucking her against his side and draping a thick, cozy blanket over them both.
"There we go," he murmured, brushing her damp hair away from her face. "Just relax, sweetheart. I've got you."
Lux curled up instinctively, her body drawn to the comfort of the embrace despite her lingering anger. She rested her head on his chest, the steady thrum of his heartbeat filling her ears. Her small hands clung to the fabric of his shirt as she let out a soft, shuddering sigh.
"I still don't like you," she mumbled, her voice muffled against his chest.
Sebastian chuckled quietly, his fingers trailing gently up and down her back. "I know baby. That's okay."
His calm acceptance disarmed her, and for the first time, she didn't respond with a sharp retort. Instead, she closed her eyes, her body relaxing ever so slightly against his. The weight of the day's events bore down on her, and despite her best efforts to resist, sleep began to tug at the edges of her awareness.
Sebastian continued to hum softly, a soothing, wordless tune that filled the room with peace. As Lux's breathing slowed, her small fists unclenched, and her trembling eased. She drifted off against him, her face softening as sleep finally claimed her.
Sebastian pressed a gentle kiss to the top of her head. "Sweet dreams, my sweet girl."
---
"She just took off?" Vincent asks, concerned.
Sebastian nodded, leaning against the counter as he sipped his coffee. "Yeah. I turned my back for one second to put her dirty snack plate into the dishwasher and she just bolted."
Vincent sighed, rubbing the back of his neck as his brows knitted together. "How'd she even get out?"
"She climbed out of the tiny windows in one of the downstairs bathrooms." Sebastian sighs.
"Tiny windows? Seriously?" Vincent asked, incredulous. "How'd she even fit?"
Sebastian set his coffee down on the counter, rubbing his face tiredly. "I don't know, Vince. Your guess is as good as mine. I thought I had everything locked up tight. But I guess... I was wrong. The alarms went off straight away though."
A silence stretched between them, the weight of the situation settling heavily in the air. In the other room, the faint sounds of the TV show that August was watching drifted in, but neither of them paid attention. Their thoughts were elsewhereâon Lux, on what had happened, and what was still happening.
Lux was still fast asleep in the mens bed having completely passed out from exhaustion.
Vincent crossed his arms, his face a mixture of frustration and concern. He loved Lux so much but this was hard. "We can't keep doing this, Seb. Every time we think we're getting somewhere with her, something happens. She's scared, she's angry, and we're not exactly giving her a reason to trust us."
"I know, but it's bound the be like this at the start." Sebastian says softly, putting his hand on Vincent's back and rubbing up and down. "Remember how hard it was with August at the start?"
Vincent grimaces, the memories from a few years ago resurfacing. "Yeah, you're right."
Sebastian nodded, his hand still resting on Vincent's back. "It is hard. But we're not in this for easy, Vince. We're in it because we love her. Because she deserves to have someone who won't give up on her, no matter how much she pushes us away."
Vincent nods again, letting out a sigh. It was going to be hard and it would probably take a while for her to settle in completely. But just like it was with August, it'd be worth it.
"How was it with August at the appointment today, anyways?" Sebastian asks, realising in the chaos of today, he hasn't asked about his favourite little boy yet.
Vincent's face softened at the mention of August, the tension in his shoulders easing slightly. "He did well," he said, his voice laced with pride. "Dr. Carter said he's making progress. He talked a lot about the nightmaresâhow real they feel to himâand she gave him some new techniques to help calm himself down when he wakes up scared."
"That's great," Sebastian said with a small smile. "He's been so brave, hasn't he?"
Vincent nodded, his gaze drifting toward the living room where August sat, his little figure illuminated by the soft glow of the TV. "Yeah, he has. He's trying so hard, and you can see it. Even with all the stuff we're juggling with Lux, he still makes an effort to help out. He's got such a big heart."
Sebastian followed Vincent's gaze, a warm smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "That he does. I'm proud of him. And I know Lux will get there too, in her own time."
Vincent nodded again, his expression a little more hopeful. "One day at a time," he said.
In the quiet moments that followed, the faint murmur of the TV blended with the steady rhythm of their breathing. For now, August was settled and Lux was asleep. A peaceful mood set over the house as dusk slowly came.