October 16th, 2022 - Los Angeles, California
30 minuets later, Lux sat at the dining table, clutching a blue crayon as she draws August an 'apology picture' just as Vincent had suggested. The drawing was crude and messy with wobbly lines and imperfect shapes but it carried a type of sincerity that her words couldn't quite capture. She really did feel bad about what she'd done.
The picture depicted a shaky, stick-figure version of August, complete with a large smile and a heart drawn beside him. Beside that, another stick figure, her, stood holding his hand. Above them, the words "I'm Sorry" were scrawled in big, uneven letters.
Sebastian sat across from her, keeping a watchful eye on her movements as he replied to some work emails.
Her stomach was still twisted and tangled in a knot of emotions. Apologizing wasn't something she was used to, not in this way. She stared down at the picture, her fingers tightening around the crayon. It felt like such a small gesture compared to the way she'd lashed out, but it was all she had for now.
She didn't know much about what August liked but she knew he was fascinated by dinosaurs and all things involving aquatic life based on his outfits - which were often filled with dinosaur prints or little embroidered fishies. So she drew a few small colourful fish and also a made a poor attempt at sketching out a dinosaur-like creature.
Her hands were shaky and it was hard to draw nicely and neatly with crayons. The act of drawing was feeling more like a punishment than a gesture of kindness and apology. Each stroke seemed to make her feel smaller, like a child forced into apologizing for something she didn't know how to fix.
She glanced up briefly, catching Sebastian's watchful gaze. He didn't look angry or mad. His expression was pretty unreadable but Lux could tell that he was disappointed in her. The tension that hung in the air said it all. Her gaze returned to the drawing.
Her fingers tightened around the crayon as she continued to add little details. It was hard to hold back the tears that threatened to spill again, but she forced herself to finish the picture. She added a few more bright colors to the backgroundâa sun, some clouds, and little stars scattered around the stick figures. It felt childish, and that was the point.
When she was done, she set the crayon down and stared at the paper. She didn't know if it was good enough, or if it could ever make up for what she'd done. Lux hated the vulnerability that came with apologizing. It made her feel exposed, like all her anger and frustration had been replaced by something even harder to deal with: shame.
Sebastian glanced at her, tilting his head slightly. "Finished?" he asked gently, his voice breaking the heavy silence.
Lux nodded, not trusting herself to speak. She pushed the drawing toward him, and he picked it up, studying it for a moment. His expression softened slightly, and he gave a small nod of approval. "This is a good start, Lux," he said. "I think August will like it."
Her stomach flipped nervously at the thought of giving the picture to August. She didn't want to face him, not after what she'd done. "Do I have to give it to him now?" she mumbled, her voice barely above a whisper.
Sebastian set the drawing back down on the table, sliding it back over to Lux. "Yes, you do," he said gently but firmly. "It's important to apologize, Lux. Not just for him, but for you too. I know it's hard, but you'll feel better once you've made things right."
Lux swallowed hard, her hands trembling in her lap. She didn't believe him. She didn't think anything could make her feel better right now. And for the first time since she arrived here, she found herself wanting her mom. Yes, she wasn't a great mom but Lux missed the way that issues or arguments were never this 'deep' with her.
"Come on," he said, holding his hand out for Lux to take.
Reluctantly, she reaches out, taking his larger hand into hers. She stands up from the chair, allowing him to guide her over to the lounge where August was now sitting, snuggled up on the couch with Vincent. His small body was wrapped up in a cozy blanket as he clutched the material of Vincent's shirt in his fists. His eyes were still slightly red from crying and he even had a binky in his mouth, sucking harshly. The sight of him made Lux's chest ache. The boy looked so small and fragile.
Sebastian gave her hand a reassuring squeeze as they approached the couch. She could see August's wary eyes flicker toward her as they drew near. His grip on Vincent's shirt tightened slightly, but Vincent whispered something in his ear, and the boy's body relaxed just a little.
Sebastian crouched beside her, placing a steadying hand on her lower back. "Go ahead, Lux," he said softly. "You can do this."
She swallowed hard, her gaze fixed on the crumpled edge of the drawing in her trembling hands. "August," she began, her voice wavering.
Lux hesitated, the words sticking in her throat like glue.
"I... I'm sorry," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I shouldn't have pushed you orâ or kicked you. It wasn't your fault. I was mad, but not at you. You didn't do anything wrong." Her eyes stung as fresh tears welled up. "I'm really, really sorry, August."
She held the drawing out to him, her hands trembling so much that the paper wobbled. "I made this for you... to say I'm sorry."
August doesn't really respond, his eyes briefly flickering over the paper and then back up to Lux.
Finally, Vincent leaned down slightly, his voice calm and steady. "August, sweetheart, what do you think? Can you look at Lux's picture?"
The boy is silent for a few more seconds before finally speaking up. "Pretty." He murmurs around the pacifier, his speech slurred and sloppy.
Vincent hums in acknowledgement, brushing his fingers through August's loose curls. "I think he's feeling a bit more... little than usual" He says. The stress of the incident had caused the boy to regress a bit more than what was normal for him.
Lux furrows her eyebrows, not really sure what 'more little than usual' even means. What she did know, however, was that this was all her fault. She shuffled her feet awkwardly, unsure of what to do next.
Sebastian leaned in a little closer, his hand steady on her back. "See? He likes your picture," he said softly, trying to encourage her. "Why don't you give it to him?"
Her fingers tightened slightly on the edges of the paper, but she nodded, holding out the drawing and trying to steady her hand. "Here," she said, her voice even quieter now. "It's yours."
August eyed the paper for a moment before finally letting go of Vincent's shirt with one hand. He reached out, taking the drawing with a slow, deliberate motion. His small fingers brushed against hers as he grasps the edge of the paper.
He stared at the picture for a long time, his lips wrapped tightly around the pacifier. Then, to her surprise, he held it up to Vincent as if to show it off. "Fishies," he said around the pacifier, his voice soft but tinged with the smallest bit of awe.
Vincent smiled, nodding as he glanced at the drawing. "That's right, baby. Fishies and a dinosaur. Isn't that nice of Lux?"
August nodded slowly, his eyes flickering back to her. He didn't say much, but the tiny, almost shy smile that curled at the edges of his lips felt like a weight being lifted off Lux's chest. She still felt horrible but at least August didn't seem that upset anymore.
Sebastian gave her back a gentle pat. "See? That wasn't so bad, was it?" he murmured, his voice kind but firm.
Lux didn't respond, but she shook her head slightly. It wasn't bad - it was hard, but not bad.
But it didn't take long for Sebastian to noticed the way Lux's shoulders were still trembling and the way her fingers twitched slightly as if she were still holding onto all her emotions - desperately trying to keep herself in check even after she'd apologised. Her face, tight with shame and sadness, reminded him that she was still just a kid too - one who'd been through her own share of struggles.
She wasn't the monster she probably thought she was right now.
Sebastian pressed a gentle kiss to August's head and murmured, "Stay here with Papa, okay?" before slowly rising to his feet. He motioned for Lux to follow him with a small nod, and she hesitated, glancing nervously between him and August. But something in his calm, steady demeanor made her feet shuffle forward almost instinctively.
She follows him out of the room and into the hallway, where the air felt quieter, less heavy. He guides her up the stairs and into the familiar comfort of her bedroom. He lifts her up onto her bed, taking a seat next to her.
"Tell me what's going on inside that pretty little head of yours, hm?" He coos gently. "You were such a good girl for apologising, why are you still upset?"
Lux fidgeted on the bed, her legs swinging slightly as she stared down at her hands, which were now twisting the hem of her shirt. She shrugged slightly, her small shoulders rising and falling as she avoided Sebastian's gaze.
His voice was calm and soothing, the tone he always used when he could sense how fragile a little one was feeling. "You did everything right. You apologized, and August forgave you. That's all anyone could ask for."
Lux's hands stilled, and she finally glanced up at him, her eyes were wide and stung with unshed tears. "But I hurt him," she whispered, her voice cracking. "I made him cry, and I don't know how to take it back. I didn't mean to, but I did, and now he's all... all little because of me." Her voice broke and she hid her face in her hands.
Lux didn't even know what it meant to be 'little' but she assumed it was bad. August looked upset and smaller in a way that she couldn't quite describe.
Sebastian sighed softly, wrapping a strong but gentle arm around her shoulders and pulling her close to his side. He didn't push her to uncover her face just yet; instead, he let her cry quietly into her hands, waiting for her to feel safe enough to continue.
"Sweetheart," he began after a moment, his voice low and warm, "August being 'little' isn't your fault. It's just part of who he is. Sometimes, when things feel too big or scary, it helps him feel safe again. Do you understand?"
Lux shook her head against his chest. "But I made it scary," she whispered. "I made it worse."
Sebastian rubbed her back in slow, comforting circles, his hand firm but soothing. "You made a mistake," he said gently, "but you also made it better. August forgave you, didn't he? He even liked your picture. That's a big deal for him, you know. It shows he trusts you."
Lux sniffled, peeking up at him with tear-streaked cheeks. "But I don't trust me," she admitted. Her voice was small, and the raw honesty of her words broke Sebastian's heart a little.
"Ah," he murmured, nodding slowly as if her confession made perfect sense. "That's the tricky part, isn't it? Forgiving yourself. It's a lot harder than apologizing to someone else." He tilted her chin up gently so she could see the sincerity in his eyes. "But you don't have to do it all at once. It's okay to feel bad about what happened. That means you care. And caring is a very good thing, baby."
Lux bit her lip, trying to stop the flow of tears.
"You're not a bad girl, Lux. Not for feeling angry, and not for making a mistake. Mistakes happen, but what matters is what you do after. You did something brave. You apologized. That's not easy." Sebastian murmurs, lifting her up onto his lap.
Lux blinked up at him, her face still damp with tears. "But it's not enough," she whispered, her voice barely audible.
"It's enough for today," he said, brushing a stray strand of hair out of her face. "And if it doesn't feel like enough tomorrow, we'll figure it out together, okay?"
"You're carrying a lot in that little head of yours," he murmured, his fingers smoothing the edges of the sweater. "It's okay to let some of it go for now."
She hides her face in his chest and Sebastian held her close, his hand rubbing gentle circles on her back as her breathing slowly evened.
For a long moment, they just sat there in the quiet comfort of her room. Lux's small sniffles faded, replaced by the rhythmic sound of Sebastian's soothing hums.
"You know," he said softly, still rocking her slightly, "being little doesn't mean you're bad at handling things or that you've failed. It just means you're human, Lux. Everyone has moments when they feel small and need someone to take care of them."
She shifted slightly in the older mans lap, her cheek pressed up against his chest. His words stirred something deep within her - something she hadn't let herself feel in a long time. It wasn't just comfort; it was permission. Permission to feel small, to need someone, and to not have all the answers.
She stays silent, listening to the sound of his heart beating. The rhythmic sound, combined with his gentle rocking, created a cocoon of safety she didn't want to leave.
"You've been so brave, sweetheart" He coos. "Coming here, learning all these new rules, dealing with so many big feelings. It's a lot for anyone, let alone someone as strong-willed and independent as you."
"mmm" Lux hums, continuing to rest against the man. She was so tired and Sebastian was so warm.
Sebastian smiled softly as he felt Lux relax further against him. He leaned back a little, adjusting her so she was nestled more securely in his lap. "That's it, sweetheart," he murmured, his voice a low hum of reassurance as he kissed the top of her head.
The room was quiet except for the faint rustle of fabric and the soothing whispers of his words.
"Daddy stay." Lux mumbles, her eyes slipping shut.
Sebastian's breath hitched for a fraction of a second at the soft, drowsy words that fell from Lux's lips. The weight of that single word stirred something deep within him - a quiet affirmation that, despite all the resistance and walls she'd built around herself, she was starting to let him in.
"I'm not going anywhere, sweetheart," he murmured, his voice a gentle promise as he pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head. "Daddy's got you. You're safe."