20th November, 2022 - Los Angeles, California
"Daddy? Papa?" Lux murmured into the baby monitor. It hadn't taken her long to realise that if she spoke into it, one of her daddies would come to her, and right now that seemed like the perfect entertainment.
She'd had far too much nap time earlier on in the day so as a result of that, she now laid awake in her bed at 1:19am.
Hearing no response or footsteps towards her room she decides to try a different tactic.
"Sebastian?" She asked, speaking into the monitor.
She didn't know exactly why, but calling him by his real name felt strange, almost like a game. Maybe it was because she knew that it was the kind of thing only an adult would do, and she wasn't sure if she wanted to be an adult right now.
Down the hall in the mens room, Sebastian's eyes immediately snapped open.
"The fuck?" He murmured, glancing over towards the monitor.
Sebastian rubbed his eyes, his brain still fuzzy with sleep, but Lux's voiceâclear and innocentâcut through the fog. She had only ever referred to him as "Daddy," so hearing her call him by his real name was enough to pull him from the haze of slumber.
He glanced at the clock: 1:19 AM. Lux was awake. Again.
"Did she just call you by your name?" Vincent asked, his voice low and slightly amused as he woke up too.
Sebastian groaned, slumping back down onto the bed and covering his face with his hands.
"Sebastiannnn?" Lux's sweet little voice rung out through the monitor once again.
Vincent chuckled softly, rolling over in bed to face Sebastian. "Looks like someone wants attention."
Sebastian just groan again in response. He didn't know how to describe it but it felt incredibly wrong to hear Lux call him that, especially in the dead of night when everything was supposed to be peaceful. It was as though the safe, comforting world they had carefully constructed around her was unraveling, and in its place, she was reaching for something unfamiliar. He couldn't place why it made him feel so uneasy.
"I should go check on her," Sebastian muttered, his voice heavy with sleep.
"I'll go," Vincent assured, sitting up in the bed. "She's been clinging to you all day, you stay here and get some sleep, yeah?"
Sebastian hesitated for a moment, glancing over at Vincent. But he could already feel his body yearning for sleep, the weight of the day dragging him down. With a reluctant sigh, he nodded.
"Alright... but if she gets upset, I'll be right there," Sebastian said, rubbing his eyes once more. His voice still carried the faint trace of concern, but Vincent gave him a reassuring smile before getting out of bed.
"I've got it," Vincent replied, then turned to make his way down the hall.
He walked down the hall, the quiet creak of the wooden floorboards under his feet the only sound breaking the stillness of the night. As he approached Lux's room, he could hear her soft, almost imperceptible murmurings through the baby monitor. She was restless, but there was a distinct energy in her voiceâsomething playful, but also uncertain. It wasn't the typical sleepy whimpering he'd grown used to hearing from her.
He reached her door, slowly pushing it open to reveal Lux sitting up in her bed with the baby monitor clutched in her hand.
"Lux?" Vincent's voice was soft as he entered the room. "Why are you still awake, little one?"
Lux's head shifted slightly towards him, her gaze immediately locking onto his. "You're not Sebastian." She murmurs.
Vincent chuckled, walking over to her bed and taking a seat on the edge. "That's a great observation, babe."
Lux smiles cheekily, kicking the covers off her body. "I know."
"But why are we calling Daddy 'Sebastian', hm? That's not what we call him, is it?" He says, adjusting her pyjama pants which had twisted around her waist with all her restless squirming.
"Jus' 'caus." Lux shrugs, moving to sit next to him on the edge of her bed.
Vincent nods, gently taking the monitor out of her hands and placing it on her bedside table where it's meant to be. "But your daddy likes it when you call him 'Daddy.'" He gave her a soft, knowing smile.
Lux tilted her head, her expression almost thoughtful, but there was a trace of mischief in her eyes. "I like when I call him Sebastian," she whispered conspiratorially, as though sharing a secret.
Vincent couldn't help but smile at her rebellious little spark. It was a side of her that they hadn't seen much of lately and was something Vincent had expected to be a lot more seamless, her mind shifting easily into that little girl headspace where she found comfort, where the world seemed simpler. But Lux, being the strong-willed 15 year old she was, had a tendency to test the boundaries, even in her more vulnerable moments.
"Is that so?" Vincent said softly, lifting a hand to her hair and gently smoothing it back from her face. His voice was warm, understanding. "And how does it make you feel when you call him Sebastian?"
Lux seemed to ponder for a moment, her fingers fidgeting with the hem of her pajama shirt as she bit her lip. "Feels... like I'm not a baby," she said quietly. "Like I'm not just your little girl. Like... I'm big, y'know?"
Vincent nodded slowly, his gaze softening. He understood what she was getting at. Lux was growing, even if she didn't always know how to express it. The regression process had been a tool for healingâan attempt to help her feel safe and secure, to let go of the trauma that haunted her. But it didn't erase the fact that she still longed for independence, to feel seen as more than just the fragile, broken girl she once was.
"I get it," he murmured, his voice quiet. "You're allowed to feel big sometimes, Lux. But you also get to be small, too, if you want. There's no need to pick one or the other. It's okay to be both."
She was quiet for a long moment, looking at him with those big, innocent eyes. Slowly, a small smile crept across her face as she leaned into his side, curling up next to him. "I like being small with Daddy," she said softly.
Vincent smiled softly, leaning down to kiss the top of her head. "And Daddy loves it when you let yourself be small with him."
"What's your name, Papa?" She asked, looking up at him.
Vincent chuckled, lifting her up onto his lap. It was only fair to tell her. Especially since she knew Sebastian's name now.
"My name is Vincent."
Lux's eyes widened slightly as she processed the name. "Vincent," she repeated slowly, rolling it on her tongue as if trying it out. It sounded soft, almost like a secret. She tilted her head up at him, curiosity flashing in her eyes.
"Yeah," Vincent said, adjusting her slightly in his lap, making sure she was comfortable. He was used to being her Papa, used to the role he played in her life, but hearing her say his name felt different, too. There was a strange shift in the airâan unspoken understanding that Lux, in her own way, was testing the edges of this new world they had built for her.
Lux grinned and nestled her head against his chest. "I like Vincent," she murmured. It was almost like a secret she was sharing with him, just like the one about Sebastian. "But can I still call you Papa?"
"Of course, sweet girl," Vincent replied, running his fingers through her hair. "You can always call me Papa. That'll never change."
"Even when I'm all old and wrinkly like a shrivelled up raisin?"
Vincent chuckled at her playful remark, brushing a stray lock of hair from her forehead. "Even when you're old and wrinkly like a raisin," he reassured, his voice soft and affectionate. "You'll always be my little girl, no matter how big you get or how much you change. That's what matters."
Lux smiled, the gentle warmth of his embrace seeming to soothe her restless thoughts. For a moment, she seemed content, as if the world outside of this little bubble of comfort didn't exist. But then, her gaze flickered back to the baby monitor, and the playful mischief returned to her eyes.
"Papa?" she whispered, her voice full of curiosity.
"Yes, Lux?" Vincent replied, his voice calm and patient.
"Why do you and Daddy take care of me like this?" She asked, her words coming out slower, more uncertain now.
Vincent paused for a moment, as the question settled in the air between them. It wasn't an easy question to answer, not in the way that Lux might expect.
"Because it's what you need right now. You've been through so much, Lux, and we just want to make sure that you can healâat your own pace, in your own way. Sometimes being little is a way to remind yourself that you're not carrying the weight of everything on your own. You get to just be... you. Without all the pressure. Without all the hurt." He said gently.
"Will I always have to be little?" she asked softly, her voice tinged with uncertainty.
Vincent could feel the weight of her question, the underlying fear that it might be a permanent stateâa fear of not being able to grow or change. "No, Lux," he answered, his tone firm but loving. "I just want you to focus on feeling whatever you want to feel, whether that's big or small. Do you think you can do that for me?"
She nods softly, resting her head against his chest.
He smiled, rubbing her hand up and down her back in soothing motions. "Good girl," He whispers. "Now why don't we go and heat up a bottle of milk for that little tummy of yours, hm?"
Lux's face brightened at the mention of milk, and for a moment, all traces of her earlier uncertainty seemed to vanish. She shifted in Vincent's lap, her small hands grasping at his shirt as she tilted her head up to look at him with wide eyes. "Milk?" she repeated, her voice filled with that familiar childlike wonder.
"Yeah, little one," Vincent said with a soft smile, his hand still gently rubbing her back. "A nice warm bottle of milk, just like when you were a tiny baby. It'll help you relax and fall back to sleep."
Lux's eyes sparkled with excitement as she climbed down from his lap, her little feet padding softly on the floor as she stood. "Can I help?" she asked, her voice a little more eager now. The idea of something as simple as milk seemed to restore a sense of comfort, bringing her back to a space where she could just be a little girl again.
"Always." Vincent said, knowing that allowing Lux to help out, even with the simplest of tasks, was a huge part of helping her to slip into a younger headspace.
She liked to be able to feel useful, to have a role, no matter how small, in the world around her. It made her feel included, and it made her feel safe.
"Okay, let's get you some milk then," Vincent continued, leading her out of her room and down the hall. As they walked into the kitchen, Lux's small hands grasped the edge of the counter, peering up at the cabinets with wide eyes.
Like always, Vincent lets her pour the milk into the little sippy cup and add a few drops of vanilla extract. He lifts her up so that she can press the buttons on the microwave to heat it up and once it's warm, he drops a little onto her inner wrist so that she can help test if it's hot enough.
"Is it good, Luxie?" Vincent asked, his voice soft as he watched her carefully test the milk, the little cup resting in her tiny hands. Lux tilted her head, her lips pursing as she carefully dabbed the milk on her wrist once more.
"Mm... it's perfect," she said with a satisfied nod, offering him a small smile. "Thank you, Papa."
Vincent chuckled, lifting her up in his arms as they made their way back to her room. "You're welcome, sweet girl. Now, how about we get you back to bed, hm?"
Lux nodded, nestling herself against him as he held her close. She was so small, so delicate in his arms, but the strength she had shown, even in her little girl headspace, was something he deeply admired. It was a quiet, unspoken testament to her resilience.
As they entered her room, Vincent set her back down on the bed, tucking her in with the blanket. The soft glow from the nightlight cast gentle shadows on the walls, giving the room an almost magical, serene atmosphere. Lux climbed back under the covers with her bottle of milk in hand, curling up with a contented sigh.
"Kissy?"
"You want a kiss?" Vincent chuckles.
"Yeah," Lux murmured, her eyes half-lidded with sleep, her little voice soft and endearing. "A kiss, Papa."
Vincent smiled warmly, leaning down and pressing a very gently kiss to her pink lips. It was the first time she'd ever asked for a kiss and the first time he'd ever given her little peck on the lips.
"Goodnight, little one," Vincent whispered, his voice tender as he pulled the blanket up around her shoulders.
Lux, her eyes already fluttering closed, gave a soft murmur in reply. "Night, Papa."
With one last glance at her peaceful face, Vincent turned off the light and quietly closed the door behind him. As he made his way back to the living room, he found Sebastian still lying in bed, though now his eyes were wide open, staring at the ceiling.
"Is she asleep?" Sebastian asked, his voice low but full of concern.
Vincent nodded, climbing into bed beside him. "Yeah. She was just a little restless, but she's settled now."
Sebastian nodded, shifting closer to Vincent. "She still calling me Sebastian?"
Vincent chuckled, shaking his head. "I think she's gone back to Daddy for now."
"Good. It was creeping me out." Sebastian murmurs.
Vincent laughed softly, shifting onto his side to face Sebastian. "Yeah, I get it. It felt off to me, too. But I think it was just her testing boundaries. She's been through so much, she's probably looking for ways to feel in control, even if it's just a little bit."
The two of them lay in the quiet for a moment, the soft hum of the house the only sound between them. It was strangeâhow much they had come to rely on each other in this process, how much their roles had become intertwined with Lux's healing. They were a family, even if it was a family built on a messed up past, and they were doing their best to navigate the complexities of their situation.
"I don't want her to ever feel like she has to be something she's not," Sebastian finally spoke, his voice raw. "I just want her to feel safe. Whether that's being little, or big, or something in between. I don't want to trap her."
Vincent squeezed his arm gently. "You're not trapping her, Seb. You're giving her the space to figure it out. The love she needs, the support she needs... you're giving her that. That's the most important thing."
Sebastian's lips curled into a faint smile, though it was filled with a mixture of sadness and hope. "I just want to see her happy. Really happy."
Vincent nodded. "We'll get her there. I'm sure. "
The room fell quiet again, but it was a peaceful kind of quiet now. And as they drifted off to sleep, the weight of the night seemed to lift a little.