8th October, 2022 - Los Angeles, California
"Lulu can pass me da red pleaseee?" August says, looking up from his colouring sheet.
So far, Lux's first official day here was going just okay. There hadn't been any more tears since the diaper incident this morning - something that Vincent and Sebastian were happy about and they had managed to make it all the way to 11:37am without any more issues.
Lux and August were currently sat on the floor of the lounge, working on some color-by-numer sheets whilst the 2 men are sat on the sofa, relaxing whilst also keeping an eye on them.
Lux looks over at August, picking up the red crayon passing it to him so that he could colour in all the number 2 areas.
She glances at his colouring sheet, noticing the differences. Hers was neat, making sure the colours stay within the lines and are in the correct places. August, on the other hand, coloured messy. He didn't stay within the lines at all and had even used the wrong colour in some areas.
"You missed a bit there." she murmured, pointing to a little corner on his sheet that he'd skipped over.
August just shrugged, looking up with a lopsided smile. "S'not havta be perfect, Lulu. S'pose to be fun!"
Lux just stays silent. She doesn't want to be doing this stupid colouring activity anyways. It was babies. Something that she was not. The soft carpet under her knees, the smell of crayons, the quiet hum of the fan in the lounge was something that she should have left behind a long time ago.
Sebastian breaks the silence, noticing Lux's unease. "You're doing great, sweetheart," His voice was gentle, careful, as if he was talking to someone far younger than her actual age.
Lux feels her cheeks grow warm. It was weird having someone speak to her in this way. So soft and patient, like he genuinely cared about her.
Then Vincent, her "papa," as he insisted she call him, chimed in from the other end of the couch. "You know, Lux, if you want to take a break, that's okay too. We can do something else if you're getting bored."
Lux just stays silent. She wasn't used to people asking her what she wanted. Back home, her days had always been structured, controlled, with no room for questions.
Before she could say anything, August jumped in, his eyes wide with excitement. "Ooooh, can we have snacks? Like the animal ones, Papa?"
"A snackbreak, hm? I think we can make that happen."
August smiles, excitedly hopping to his feet in a flash leaving his crayon rolling across the carpet, forgotten. She watched as he follows Vincent into the kitchen before glancing back at her own colouring. A meticulous work-in-progress.
"Go ahead baby." Sebastian encourages. "You can take a break too, if you want."
She put down her crayon carefully, making sure it didn't roll away like August's, and stood up, feeling strangely shy under their watchful eyes. Lux followed August into the kitchen, where he was already bouncing in front of the cupboard, excitedly pointing out the animal-shaped snacks.
Vincent hands them each a small plastic bowl, each carrying a variation of animal shaped crackers. There's lions, elephants, monkeys and parrots.
She follows August back into the lounge, taking a seat back on the floor next to him. She popped a lion cracker into her mouth, the salty taste unexpectedly comforting.
Plus she was trying to distract herself from a new problem which was starting to form.
She needed to use the bathroom.
The idea of having to use the diaper gnawed at her, filling her with dread. She wasn't a toddler, and the thought of giving up that last bit of independence felt like giving up a part of herself. But the men had been clearâ"little ones" like her weren't ready for the toilet.
The longer she sat there nibbling at her animal crackers, the more her discomfort grew.
Maybe if she just asked they would understand? No. She knew deep down that the diapers were non negotiable.
Taking a deep breath, she looked up at Vincent, who was busy watching August try to stack crackers on top of each other like a tower. Lux felt her cheeks flush, and she glanced down, studying her hands.
'Umm... I-I need to go to the bathroom." She says quietly, not daring to look up from her hands.
Vincent and Sebastian exchange a glance, feeling a twist of affection in their chests for the little one. She was too cute.
"We talked about this baby, that's what the diapers for." Vincent says.
"But I don't want the diapers." She mumbles, her voice small.
"I know sweetheart, but you're still a bit to small to use the toilet just yet." Sebastian says softly.
She clenched her fists, holding back the urge to argue. It all felt so humiliating, so unfair. She wasn't supposed to be here, dressed like this, eating crackers shaped like animals, and treated like some helpless baby.
August, oblivious to the tension, looked over and grinned. "S'not so bad, Lulu. Diapers are cozy!" he declared with a giggle, as if that settled it.
Her cheeks heat up once again at August's little comment. In some weird way she way kind of envious of her carefree he seemed to be.
Sebastian leaned forward, giving her an encouraging nod. "Maybe after your snack, you could try to relax a little. We'll put on a movie for you and August. Doesn't that sound nice?"
Lux shrugged, her fingers tracing the outline of a tiny lion cracker before she placed it carefully into her mouth. She was trying her best to ignore the discomfort, to pretend it wasn't happening.
"Is there... a movie you'd like to watch, Lux?" Sebastian asked, his voice careful and considerate, as though he didn't want to break whatever fragile bit of trust she had left.
Lux thinks to herself, aware that despite framing it as an open ended question to give the illusion of choice, her decision would still need their approval. And films that would fall under the 'approved' category were likely nothing but childish movies for kids. Just like everything else in this stupid house.
"Anything's fine." she muttered, her voice barely above a whisper.
Vincent gave her a small smile. "We'll find something fun, then. How about a classic? You ever seen The Lion King?"
Lux glanced up, slightly surprised. That was something she remembered from her childhood. In fact, she remembers the very first time she watched it. It was 'movie day' at school. She was in the second grade and the teacher had brought 'The Lion King' for the whole class to watch. That was a good day.
"Sure."
"Great!" Vincent said, taking her mild agreement as a victory.
Despite being allowed on the couch, both Lux and August stay sat on the soft carpet in front of the TV.
She stays focused on the movie Although she was mainly trying to distract herself from the growing pressure in her bladder she couldn't help but feel a little drawn to the animations. he hadn't seen 'The Lion King' in years.
She glances at August, noticing how the boy is practically singing along to the songs and mouthing the lines of the characters. He must of seen this movie a million times before.
Lux continues to shift in her spot on the floor, the pressure and discomfort only increasing.
The men don't say anything, sympathetically glancing at the squirming girl every so often. They knew it would only be a matter of time.
It about halfway through the movie when Simba is singing 'Hakuna Matata' with the other jungle creatures when Lux feels it. It starts off with just a tiny little trickle in-between her legs but before she can stop herself her bladder lets go completely, almost as if it has a mind of its own. She whimpers, panicking a little at the foreign feeling. She pressed her hands into her lap, trying to make it stop, but it was too late. It was like a betrayal from her own body, a reminder of just how little control she had here.
"You okay Lux?" Vincent asks, noticing the shift in her demeanour. He knows what's just happens but he wants to see if she'll admit to it herself.
She couldn't bring herself to respond. All she could manage was a tiny, desperate whimper, her eyes fixed firmly on the floor as she felt the last bit of control slipping away from her.
Vincent leaned forward gently, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "It's okay, Lux," he said, his voice soothing and calm. "No need to be upset, sweetheart. This happens sometimes. We're here to help."
That's all it takes for Lux to burst into tears for the third time today, completely overwhelmed by all her emotions.
Vincent stands up, picking the younger girl up off the floor. Vincent pulled her into his chest, stroking her back as she cried into his shoulder. "Shhh, sweetheart. There's nothing to be sorry for," he murmured. His voice was soft, and his embrace was warm.
He looks over to his husband, giving him a look which says 'I'm just gonna go change her real quick.' before exiting the room.
August watches as they leave the room before looking back over at his daddy. "Sissy been crying lottsss today." He says, dragging out the 'lots' for emphasis.
"I know buddy" Sebastian says softly. "But that just means it's our job to cheer her up again, hm?"
August nods. He's good at cheering people up. The best in the world actually. His daddies said so themselves.
Meanwhile, Vincent is trying to console the crying girl as he sets her down onto the changing table in her bedroom.
Her face is red and tear streaked and her little hands are clinging desperately to Vincent's top, as if trying to ground herself.
Vincent wipes away a tear from her cheek, giving her a soft, understanding smile. "Hey, sweet girl," he murmurs, trying to calm her down. "Let's get you into a fresh diaper, hmm?"
Lux doesn't answer, just continuing to cry instead. She doesn't understand why she can't just be left aloneâwhy they have to keep treating her like this, like she's so small and helpless. She wants to tell him that she's fifteen, that she's capable, that this is all wrong. But the words are stuck in her throat, tangled in a knot of complex emotions.
Gently, Vincent pries her hands off his shirt before shifting her body so that she's lying down on the changing table. Lux's face burns even more, but she's too tired to resist or argue.
He pulls down her jeans, removing them completely before he undoes her diaper. He cleans her off with a wet wipe, making sure everything is nice and sanitary before sliding on a new diaper.
He's not at all bothered by her tears or occasional pleads for him to stop. He's had this same experience with August all those years ago and he knows that over time, Lux will adjust.
"There we go." He says, pulling her jeans back up and fasting them around her tummy. "My baby's all fresh and clean."
He lifts her off the changing table, holding her up against his chest. She was pretty quiet now, mainly from exhaustion. She had been crying a lot today and it was definitely starting to take its toll. Her eyes irritated from crying and her cheeks were a little puffy. Her head felt heavy and soar and she just wanted to be back home, with her dependance.
Vincent carried her back into the living room. The movie is still playing and August is focused intently on the screen, now snuggled up next to Sebastian on the couch.
He sits takes a seat on the couch, adjusting Lux in his lap so that she's comfortably lying against him, her head resting on his chest. The quiet of the living room and the soft murmur of the movie help her settle, her breathing finally slowing.
She's still not happy to be here but she doesn't have the energy to fight or argue right now. She lets Vincent hold her.
"Just relax Luxie, papa and daddy are right here." He reassures, his large hand rubbing up and down on her back.
---
Lux did end up falling asleep about 5 minuets after they re-joined the others in the living room. The men didn't usually allow for sleeping outside of the scheduled 'nap-time' (which happed every day after lunch) or night-time but it was obvious that Lux needed it.
When the credits finally rolled onto the screen it was almost 2pm and August was getting hungry again.
"How about some lunch then, hm?" Vincent says when August complains about his mild hunger yet again. "I think someone might get a little cranky if we wait any longer." He chuckles, reaching out to ruffle the boys hair.
"Can have grilled cheese?" August asks hopefully. The boy loves grilled cheese sandwiches more than life itself.
"I'm sure we can make that work." Vincent says, handing the still sleeping Lux over the Sebastian so that he can go and make lunch.
"Help papa?"
"You want to help?" Vincent asks, a playful smile on his face. "C'mere baby, you can help all you want. Such a big boy today, hm?"
August nods, following the man into the kitchen to help make some grilled cheese sandwiches.
He watches as Vincent gets the ingredients out the cupboard - the cheese, the bread, butter and a few carrots and a cucumber to make some vegetable sticks to add on the side.
"Auggi, baby, can you go and get some plates sweetheart?" Vincent asks. It's probably the easiest task in the world but Vincent makes it sound like only the brave and courages August can do it.
He gets some plates, setting them on the counter as Vincent begins to slice cheese and pile it up neatly on the slices of bread. Occasionally, August would sneakily steal a little cheese slice, putting it in his mouth when Vincent wasn't looking, grinning every time he got away with it.
Soon enough the smell of grilled cheese sandwiches fills the lower floor of the house, stirring Lux awake from her sleep.
"Hey there Luxie" Sebastian says when he notices the little one slowly waking up.
Slowly, her eyelids fluttered open. She blinks up at him, a little dazed. Realising she's been lying against Sebastian's chest she feels the familiar pang of embarrassment return. She pushes herself off his chest, going back to sitting up straight and tensed.
"Are you hungry, darling?
"I guess..." She admits quietly.
"Good timing. August and Papa are just finishing up in the kitchen. Let's go see what they've made sweet girl."
Sebastian held her hand gently as they walked to the kitchen together, her pace slow and hesitant.
When they arrived she could already see a plate of food on that silly little tray attached to that stupid highchair. She groans internally at the sight. She's not a baby. She doesn't need a highchair.
"Look who's up!" Vincent said brightly, placing the plate on the table. "We made a little feast for you, Lux."
She glances at the meal - a simple grilled cheese accompanied with a few carrot and cucumber sticks. There's even a little plastic cup full of some kind of juice with a little pink straw in it, all for her. She couldn't deny that it did look yummy.
Vincent picked her up with ease, placing her gently into the highchair. "There we go, sweetheart," he said softly, securing the little tray in place.
As she picked up half of her grilled cheese, August was already crunching on his veggie sticks with exaggerated enthusiasm, making little crunching sounds that turned into muffled giggles.
"C'mon, Lux, eat like a bunny! Crunch, crunch!" August whispered, nibbling dramatically on a cucumber stick.
"Do I have to sit in this?" She asks quietly, shifting uncomfortably in the highchair.
"Yes baby, rules are rules." Sebastian says, his tone soft yet also authoritative.
"Speaking of rules, why don't we go over some rules in the house." Vincent says, realising Lux they haven't discussed this matter with her yet. August could probably do with a little refresh of the rules too now that he thinks about it.
"Rules?" She asks quietly.
"Yeah baby, nothing to be scared of. They're just in place to keep you safe and happy." Sebastian says with a soft encouraging smile.
"Rules is fun Lulu! S'likee superpowers!" Augusts says happily, a cheesy grin on his face.
Lux just nods shyly at the boys enthusiasm wondering how the hell rules are like superpowers.
The men chuckle at the little boys enthusiasm before taking a seat opposite their little ones so they they could be eye to eye.
"Alright, let's go over the basics." Vincent begins. "I'm sure you know by now but too you, we're daddy and papa and we expect you to address us as such."
"But don't you have real names?" Lux asks quietly, picking up a carrot stick and nibbling the end.
"Yeah baby, we do. But that's not for you to worry about, okay?" Sebastian replies, a soft yet authoritative tone.
Smart move, concealing your identity Lux thinks.
"Okay" She mumbles.
"Secondly, if there's something wrong, anything at all, we expect you to tell us. It's a lot easier if we're able to keep you comfortable and happy here so that means letting us know if something is bothering you." Sebastian states.
Lux nodded slowly, still feeling a bit overwhelmed by everything. Even as they explained the rules in a gentle, friendly way, it was hard not to feel like they were closing in around her.
Vincent gives Lux a soft, reassuring smile as he continues to explain. "Now, about eating. We want you to make sure you eat well. It's important for you to grow strong and healthy, so you're gonna be eating three meals a day with snacks in between. You're want to grow up to be a big girl, right?"
Lux's cheeks burn bright red from the discomfort of being treated younger than she is. She wants to throw her food on the floor, kick, scream and cry until they finally understand that she's already a big girl. But she knows that would just provoke them to infantilize her more. Instead she stays quiet, slowly nodding her head.
The rules continue for a few more minuets. There's nothing crazy, it's just more stuff like 'tell us if you're scared, we're your family now.' blah di blah di blah.
Lunch continues on and the two littles finally finish their meal and before Lux had time to process anything, both her and August were being carried back up the stairs each by one of the men. "You did a great job finishing your lunch, sweetheart. Now, it's time for a little rest."
Lux didn't reply. Deep down, she knew she was tired. She was also looking forward to some time alone.
"C'mon, let's get you nice and comfy, sweetheart." Sebastian mumbles as they walk into her bedroom.
Sebastian carried her, cradling her as if she were made of glass, and brought her over to the rocking chair in the corner. "Just a few minutes, okay?" he whispered, easing her into his lap. She stiffened, fighting the urge to pull away as he began to rock, his gentle hum blending with the soft creak of the chair. The warmth of his arms wrapped around her, as though he were trying to offer her some kind of comfort, and despite herself, she felt her eyelids begin to droop.
Sebastian reached over to the small table and picked up a small pink pacifier, holding it just in front of her. "Here, baby. Just give it a try. It can really help you settle in."
Lux stared at it, her mind recoiling at the thought. She didn't want to feel this small, this helpless. But the heaviness of sleep was already pressing in, and she figured it might be easier to go along with it just this once. Reluctantly, she parted her lips, allowing Sebastian to place the pacifier between them.
She doesn't really suck on it like she should. She just holds it in her mouth, occasionally biting down on the rubber nipple or letting her tongue fiddle with it. Sebastian doesn't mind. He was just happy she accepted it.
"There you go," he whispered, smoothing her hair softly. "Just rest, sweet girl."
Finally, Lux feels herself drifting off. The rhythm of the rocking chair lulling her into a dreamlike state.
---
Lux woke sometime later to the sound of soft whispers and the quiet rustling of blankets. Blinking in the dim light, she noticed Vincent standing nearby. She must of been moved sometime after she fell asleep because she was no longer in her 'daddy's' lap on the rocking chair, she was snuggled up in her bed.
"Good nap Luxie?" Vincent asks softly, crouching down next to her silly little toddler bed.
Lux gave a small nod, reluctant to admit that the nap had actually felt nice. She glanced at the pacifier, realizing she was still holding it between her lips. Feeling a flush of embarrassment, she quickly pulled it out and set it on the bed.
Vincent chuckled softly but didn't comment, instead offering her a hand to help her up. "Come on, let's get you and August a little snack, okay?"
She nodded as he picks her up and starts walking to the living room where August was already being spoon fed a small bowl of applesauce by Sebastian. Lux settled on the couch, and Vincent grabbed a similar bowl, along with a small spoon.
"Just a little something to tide you over till dinner," Vincent explained, scooping a small mouthful of applesauce on the spoon and lifting it up to Lux's mouth.
Lux hesitated, staring at the spoon hovering in front of her. Once again, she wanted to remind the men that she wasn't a baby. That she could feed herself. But she already knew they wouldn't let her. She was only allowed to feed herself when they let her and right now, that wasn't an option. Begrudgingly, she leaned forward and took a small bite, her cheeks heating up as she chewed.
"Good girl," Vincent murmured approvingly, offering another spoonful.
After a few more bites, she glanced at August, who was enthusiastically munching his applesauce, his eyes lighting up every time Sebastian called him a "big boy." August seemed to genuinely enjoy the attention, and Lux couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousyâhow easily he slipped into this role. She wondered how long he had been here, how long it had taken him to settle into this strange life where rules felt like walls closing in.
She wouldn't let herself get closed in. She had to remember her goalâto find a way out.