Elaine
A pair of lifeless grey eyes stared at me. I mirrored it back. No matter what I did my reflection was soulless, like a mask supporting darkness beneath.
My Dad usually commented on some sort of self-motivation, wonder what his worry was. But even years later I still could remember what he said. Each word, each alignment of his advice.
'If you want to trust someone with who you can keep your full faith on, and expect to make you better, look at the mirror. You'll see the only person you could rely on. You'
I heaved a sigh, slinging my black leather backpack on. I tightened my pony avoiding as my gaze slipped to my reflection. Bags under my eyes and nose red from the injury still fading, almost gone. My Dad would've been so disappointed in me.
The firsthand knowledge of a high school washroom according to me was, it's spacious, girly, and quite dangerous, hazardous if you ask me. Anything could happen here. Personal experience adds up to the evidence.
But for now, I was admiring my lone moment, waiting for the first bell to ring.
It gets worse each day, the corridor was what graphically impersonated a battlefield. In my head to be honest, with little to no chance for me to stand against the opposite line. Tyler and his friends, plotting their best to hurt me as massive as possible.
"My life is over, I hate myself" a voice murmured from inside a solely occupied stall, and then there was a full-blown cry.
I thought I was alone. Looking stoically up at the ceiling I took an accusing breath. Was that too much to ask?
The raspy crying echoed around, confused I stopped near the door.
"Hey, are you alright there?" I frowned when it became quiet again. As if anyone wasn't even there.
My knuckles went up to knock, when-
"My boyfriend broke up with me" she whined and then there was that wail, much bigger than the last one.
"Is there anything I can do?" Awkwardly I ask. Having zero to a minus clue about what to say in such a situation or do. I decided to leave when there was no reply and just a miserable strained sound of shuffling from inside.
"Yeah," she said an eternity later. Her voice was small and scratchy.
Surprised I waited for her to continue.
"I am out of toilet papers, can you pass me one?" croaking, she requested.
Can I?
"Sure" I cleared my throat, feeling completely drained. After passing it, I could have left. But some cell convinced me to stay, at least to check up on her. I don't even know who she is.
The door creaked open and she came out, she was gorgeous, with baby blue eyes and long blond hair, reaching beautifully till her waist.
Long hair was my weakness, I used to wear them long. I inherited my Mom's hair. It reminded me of her, so much. It was painful, to see how much I look like Mom to the point that I cut it short, so I don't have to recall that night again.
I loved her so much that now even if I want to keep all those beautiful memories treasured, it came with a price, a scar that cannot be healed.
Until the justice was done.
But even then if I manage to pretend it never happened, It will still be there, like a shadow in the darkness.
"Thank you so much," she said, straightening out the creases on her dress.
"It's okay, I should leave now" I smiled sadly at her, she was a mess. But breathtaking mess nevertheless.
"Wait" she called. "I am new here and I don't know this place around, will you help me with my first class?" she almost begged, I feared if I refused she might start crying again.
"Yeah sure," I nodded.
She breathed relieved, then stared at me as if she just found out the earth was round. And like someone who fought the flat earth theory with their life.
"Where are my manners? I never introduced myself, I am so sorry. I am April Beckett" she chirped.
"Oh" I gave her the acknowledgment. And then-
We waited, for what?
"You- are?" She dragged slowly.
I wanted to facepalm, with both my hands. But extended on to link with the outstretched hand of her for a weak shake.
"Elaine Winters, and now we must leave if we don't want to get late for Math because the list you're carrying says you have that first," I say, gladly bringing my hand back and adjusting the cap in my head.
"Wow, you are observant and that's a beautiful name, Elaine" she smiled again. She was bawling her eyes out a while back, it was hard to believe that she was the same girl. Was she drunk? Or on her periods?
"Are you on your periods?" I blurted. Without thinking. That's what I do, well most of the time.
She gaped, "I am." She grinned brightly "We are so going to be amazing friends in the future. And washroom could be our thing" she giggled motioning her hands across us.
Too dramatic, but her gesture was innocent, buying an unpredicted smile from me as I shook my head.
"Let's go, shall we?"
***
I was marching towards my safe hole, not really.
As lunch was something I had to omit from my everyday schedule and David was good with a peanut butter sandwich, I had my lunch break to meditate under the sacred tree that nobody cares about. A sanctuary of my discovery, no one bothered was with secluded and unmaintained part of the school.
Only a girl like me who was equally unmaintained as that. We made a great pair.
But my happiness was short-lived when I saw a figure slouched with its back leaning on the tree, my tree.
It was Alex White.
But still, it was my spot.
Since when did we agree to share this shelter?
Since you decided to leave the place after a commercial warning on tobacco.
I sighed heftily.
One of his legs was sprawled, while his other had his arm supported, and he was smoking.
Deja Vu.
I wanted to turn away and evade a talk, I have been doing that since we saw each other in therapy.
But my feet seem to have a mind of their own as it walked slowly toward him, the dried leaves crunching under my feet.
"You can stop being so discreet, I know it's you" I paused as he turned. Those pair of blue ice watched me keenly and for some reason causing my heart to work faster.
"I-I was just going to ask you if I can sit here" really Elaine? Since when this spot came under his territory?
He raised his brows, making it quite apparent over my weird behavior. He patted the floor next to him as if motioning a child with signs.
I debated thinking if this was even rational, he was new and sooner or later would be turned against me. He could be the future addition to my already long list of bullies. But it was a whole new level of feeling that my heart was giving away as if it begged me to end her loneliness and make a friend who could the least do is play a part in mending it.
I sat there with my legs crossed and making sure to put some cautious distance between us.
The sweet chirping of birds and the gentle caress of wind would've been soothing if It was just me. But with him, and him being so quiet and reserved as if he was not the boy I met three weeks ago, who so desperately wanted to be my friend was churning something inside me.
A pang of guilt and fear, as if I ruined a minuscule possible miracle of goodness in my life.
"I assume you and I, both want to avoid the question of why we were there where we were" his out of blue words startled me as I hesitantly glanced at him.
I opened my mouth to say that he was right when,
"And I am not really up to talk about anything now, and I don't even want to ask you why you are here and not having your lunch somewhere since I think I know why" he sighed a smoke out as he turned to look at a still gaping me.
"But what I would like Is to stop that unpleasant noise which seems to be erupting from your stomach" he had a devilish smirk splayed across his face like he could read what's going through my mind.
I bet I was blushing like Ariel's hair from the little mermaid, this was so embarrassing. Like more than the regular public humiliation I endure. But the nagging part said he was aware of me getting bullied since he somehow knows the reason where my food goes, but a part of me was ashamed to know that.
Why does it even matter what he thinks about me?
Trust me, I ask the question to myself every single time I see that white mane in sight.
He shuffled through his bag and took out a brown paper bag. Placing it on my lap he went back to his activity.
I wanted to throw that off from him, I just don't get it when people smoke knowing exactly how they are shortening their life in many ways. Killing themselves. I would've been disgusted if it was not him.
"I can't" I kept it on his lap "It's your lunch"
He tossed it back "When you have a Mother who thinks a growing boy needs more food to keep his muscles alive, which I don't even have. You have food worth feeding a whole family"
I couldn't help but smile at that, memories of my Mother worrying over my eating patterns as a child flashes before my eyes, the concern which was once a nuisance was now a need. what I would give to have those things back.
"So you pack your lunch from home?" I mocked as I took out a bite of his sandwich, one way to describe was It took me a heavy will to suppress a moan. It was that good.
"The food here at the cafeteria is shit, no other way to put it diligently"
"Rich boy struggles" I state taking another bite as he groans, tingle in my stomach to that kind of sound was not normal.
As a proclaimed intellectual person. I know.
"Seriously? How?" he said squinting his eyes at me.
Chewing slowly and swallowing, I wiggled my brows. He waited patiently as I spoke again.
"It's not that hard, your designer clothes and the expensively affordable car is a major give away"
His brows pinch for a second as my word sinks in. He then stared at me blankly, the side of his lips twitching.
"Not that"he deadpanned "What I meant was the way you eat with mayonnaise smeared and crumbs all over"
I scanned around for it, sure it was everywhere. But do I care?
Rolling my eyes I smiled at the freaky clean factor in him. How did a boy like him ended up in a school like Summers high?
"I haven't had this good lunch for a while now, and I don't think I mind"
With that said I took out another sandwich and ate it, similar in the way watching him shake his head with a small smile.
He was too perfect. And I was not.
Does that make it odd?
But who had ever said that odd was a bad thing?
Odd was just. Unique
***