Elaine
In a world that's changing quickly. The only strategy that is guaranteed to fail is not taking risks, says Mark Zuckerberg.
But there are some petty risks in life, taking that would be stuporous. Those risks are meant to be avoided as I should.
Like for instance, heading to the cafeteria.
The possible graveyard for the demise of my self-respect. But I am willing to do this, on the command of Tyler. The image of Diana's ecstatic face pops up, I know if she ever got a breath about my bullying she will blame herself for it. It would just be an addition to her guilty confessions about how she failed me and my Mom who was once her best friend.
But I know better, there was no way she could have mended me.
Maybe this is what I want, the pain. It keeps me alive, the burning fire there somewhere inside me. With each hard breath and scream I vent it all out, all inside my head. So many words at once, it happens on a day, at the night, till my subconscious blurs.
My hand glides its way to tuck hair behind my ears and the other plays rigorously, an attempt to stop my cold hands from shaking so bad. So many things at once and then nothing at all.
I won't call it anxiety, it is me. After so many years it has become a part of me.
Some days are good, I am like my old self. Yesterday was one of them. Day was spend fretting about what Tyler might do next, but as soon as I met Alex, there was something that pushed all the negative thoughts away. Before I knew he was seated at our movie night.
And it just felt right, like he could belong there.
"Walk faster bitch, Tyler hates to wait" David. The messenger of Tyler pushed me on the shoulder, it did make my lazy stride swifter.
"Who knows that better than me" I grumbled under my breath. Though I should walk another way around and run for hills, my heart was calm and so was my mind. Like I said it's not always the same.
The weird thing is the fact that Alex never has lunch in the cafeteria, this puts me more at ease. Even if anything goes downhill, he won't be there.
But for how long?
"You said something?" his manly voice commanded, but it never scared me. He was like an elephant, Big. But harmless.
"Was just wondering how was the lunch?" I batted my lashes comically at him.
Taking advantage of one more thing of his, he gets embarrassed easily. He was good at many aspects, but being with Tyler made him strive for popularity. And if having that costs him to lose your humanity, he will sacrifice it.
"Shut up" But his red face was in contrast to his roaring wind up of our conversation.
The door to the entrance did not invite me with tenderness. Sick looks and whispers exploded around as soon they saw me. After all, everyone remembers what happened here last time when Tyler and I were in this same exact room. Since that day I avoided it.
"Look, look, look who we have here" Jace Martinez walks slow steps towards me, he is not as tall or built like Tyler or David. But he's known for his ruthless ways, last year his victim was Julia Larson, and this year she left the town. Rumor has it that he made one of her deepest secrets viral.
I could see Tyler from behind his shoulder, his hands folded as he sat watching our exchange smirking.
"Why did you call me here?" I tried keeping my voice straight. All eyes were on us, some even took out their mobiles.
"Because we miss having lunch with you" Jace cooed, as laughter was heard from around.
I gritted my teeth, why don't they get over with what they want. My hand curled into a fist as I stopped myself from saying something that could land me in more trouble. This was the problem, when I was normal I know what to say and what to feel.
I know I could harm them back just as much, maybe even more, not physically. But the way I can bring down their game with what I could do might make damage forever.
And I am better than that.
Two strong hands grabbed my arms and dragged me to a seat nearby.
"Stop this, what the hell you guys are doing?" I protested as I tried to release my wrist from them who tied them to the armrests. My blabbers were silenced as duct tape was plastered across my lips.
From the corner of my eyes, I could see Tyler making his way towards me, but I was busy struggling and making sense of my own muffled words.
"Ladies and gentlemen" his sound brought my struggles to a rapid pause as I saw him wide-eyed.
"When you don't like your food or done with it, where do you discard its remains?" cold and venomous, like snake his voice traveled across.
"Trash" some screamed back.
Then there was loud chanting of trash again and again.
"Let me do the honors" with that he dumped a bowl of soup on my head.
It sluggishly danced down my face but soon many other splashes of food drizzled, then stormed upon me.
It went on which felt like hours, but I know it we're just minutes. They wanted entertainment and I am just it. I closed my eyes shut as something spicy burned it, my screams were louder, but not more than the ones of exultation.
"Stop this" there was a faintly familiar voice among it as my heart started picking up beats.
No no no no.
It was all I could tell myself. Though not an ounce of my wish contradicted the situation.
"FUCKING STOP THIS" This time it was ear-piercing, it was enraged and dangerous, shiver ran down my spine as I blinked my eyes open. The command has its effect done as everyone had their eye on one person who had his eyes on me.
Alex.
He stood ten steps away from me, the crowd parted like Red sea, afraid to even disturb his vision. For a second he even scared me.
His eyes were mad and red, and his lips thin. Eyes shifted focus from me to Jace who still had his mobile up.
In quick seconds Alex went for the phone on Jace's clutch and the next thing I saw was the mobile smashing the tiles with such a sheer force that pieces of it flew everywhere.
Jace's expression was that of horror and anger pent together, he grabs hold of Alex's collar while I sat and gaped like a fool. It was not even possible with the duct tape.
"What the hell man, you will regret doing it" he growled.
Alex took a deadly hostile peek at Jace's grasp on his collar"If I were you, I'd think thrice before doing that"
Cold and strong, that was his voice. It was the sound of so much power and promise of destruction that one would not wish to cross paths with its owner again. And it came from Alex. And the terrifying aspect was it fitted him so perfectly like his real self was on display.
Before I could distinguish what was happening his fist jammed into Jace's nose as a crack could be heard. His hunched posture and blood spill did nothing to calm Alex as he hit him again with much more ruthlessness than before.
Even Tyler backed a little, with fright in his eyes.
This was not the Alex I know.
It didn't stop there as he kept up his pace even when jaces legs gave away.
Somehow during my futile assault on the bonds I did manage to bring the strings to lose, I hastily rip away the duct tape as Alex took a can of soda and was about to hit Jace with it.
"Alex stop" It was not gaudy, but rather croaked and dry. But he stopped. He listened.
Jace layover there clutching his nose as it now soaked his shirt. If it was Tyler or David they would have defended themselves, Jace was just not the right person for a fight.
Our gaze locked as I saw nothing in his eyes, just a hollow satisfaction. It was frightening to the core, chilling me to the bones with the coldness his eyes pierced through me
Before I could even decide on what to say or do, he whizzes past me.
Without much of a glace or word, but I was sure about one thing, it was not an escape from me.
It was his escape. From himself.
***