Elaine
It blinked at me, though it wasn't scientifically possible to blink without eyelids, I swear it squinted its pupils at me. I returned it's gesture, executing the similar movement.
The claws on it's sides crackled like scissors when I raised my brows at his futile attempt to eject my nose which was safe on the other side of the large glass tank. The lobster, though it was impossible it appeared defeated. Dare I say it even looked sad.
Why would he not? I've been shamelessly checking him out since I stepped inside the kitchen which was about five minutes ago. Almost pressing my nose against it's temporary residence, not even bothering to give a shot on privacy rules.
"You like lobsters?" I turn, a surge of surreal vibe whirls around in air. As dramatic it sounds, but Hailey has that effect whenever she speaks. Which is equal to the times Alex makes wise decisions, that's quite near to never.
And it also isn't wise to think of him. Lobster is much more emotionally invested in me than he ever has.
"To be honest, I never tried." I shrug, watching her as she nods slowly, the attention still on the frosting of her chocolate cake that she has been baking from god knows how long. after we returned from the Tate's, the guest villa which was more of an modern day Victorian styled mansion with fire place, crown chandelier, wall detailing and décor sculptures that is bound to cost more than an average healthy mans kidneys.
The place reeked of extravagance and I, of sweat and tiredness. I basically jumped into the shower when I spotted the room that was to be shared with Riley. A silent pray of thanks to God. And once I was done scrubbing and washing away, I felt the weight of the day lift off me. With No room for contemplation or even much as a back thought of what took place I got under the comforter and sank into what I would call one of the best sleep of my life.
Now four hours later when I woke up, at this hour one would expect the atmosphere of sheer silence or people in preparation to wrap their chores up. But unlike when I stepped out, reluctant enough to not give a heed towards the idea of changing into rather something presentable then the pink sweatpants and white hoodie, I found the house bright with buzz and chaos.
Riley dragged me downstairs muttering something about the cliques mid night surprise for lee as still endrossed with post sleep syndrome, I just made that up. I nodded though I only grasped bits and pieces of what she said. Once down I went to the kitchen to have a glass of water when I spotted Hailey lathering the cream upon the cake. I offered to help but she waved a not required sign.
And since I wasn't needed, I began to focus my laser focus on the lobster, pulling a spare chair. It went on till it got bored of watching my face and initiated a failed attack.
"I forgot the gift wrappers, are there any London times here?" Clarissa walked into kitchen as she shuffled through cabinets. She frowned when her demands weren't met.
"You are planning to wrap his gift in newspapers?" Hailey asked her as Clarissa snorted. And I was amused to witness such normalcy among the people who were the future of multi billion dollars corporations.
"I am thinking about toilet papers" I bit my lips to stop from grinning as Hailey sighs.
"Clar, don't be so mean to him. it's his birthday. There are some items that could be useful, red satchel. Third zip" Clarissa rolled her eyes bowing farcially before jogging off. But I was too occupied as I analyzed the girl Hailey was behind all those polished blankness.
"so you surprise each other like this? On their birthdays?" she wipes the smeared frost from her fingers with the napkin as she turns once she's done, leaning her back against the counter she gives me a small smile.
"only for Lee" something in the way she said it, the intuition of pity in her tone was undigesting as I frowned recalling back how Edmund mentioned about Lee being an exception, as if reading my thoughts she proceeded.
"Lee is diabetic. And most of the time he doesn't get to eat the cake from his own party or delicacies that they serve. So every year we make him diet cakes and food so he could not only feel but feed on his Birthday. And since most of his family lives in Korea, he just has us." Though it was sad to think that the sweetest guy on planet literally has sugar running through his veins, the knowledge that he has such indubitable friendship with people who cares about him so much was comforting.
"Lee is really fond of you, you know" it took me by surprise again and again when Hailey laid over the foundation to keep our conversation on the smooth ground.
"I don't know. He sort of calls me his friend but all I do Is tutor him when he needs it. we never actually had a full blown conversation" I got up, walking to her as I peeked at the cake behind, it was beautiful with two layers of choco chips scattered around the lower vanilla layer while the upper held the classic black forest chip in the middle with cherries. "This looks perfect."
"Thank you" she angles to take a glimpse at the cake "he sees the little sister in you that he always wanted. He's pretty much convinced that you are a result of mutation. Superpower and all that stuff"
Wide eyed I look at her as her crystal blue eyes shines with warmth as she disconnectedly gazes at the set of culinary at the right. Hailey was no doubt the most beautiful and most misunderstood girl that I had ever crossed path with. She was tender, soft and gentle with a face of an angel but a mask of well versed nonchalance. But don't we all?.
"He said those things about me?"
She chuckles nodding as I grinned. Her sound of ecstasy was contagious.
"I get it. You are really close to him"
"Me and Edmund. We listen to his blabber but unlike others we don't stop him. We think of him as a child and let him view the world as he aspires." I breathed with a sense of pure respect for the girl in front of me as she delicately grabs the tray of cake placing it on the trolley. Removing the black apron she glances at the ancient grandfather clock on the living area.
"We have five minutes to twelve, should get going" I nod, still speechless. But me being myself I still had a question hanging around.
"If you do this every year then it mustn't be much of a surprise anymore don't you think?"
"It is not. This is more of a ritual" she smirks hiding it those mischevious glint by curtaining it with her hair as I narrowed my eyes at her "Besides Lee is an early sleeper. He can't stay awake even if his life depends on it."
Wheeling the food in the direction of Lee's room, i helped her with the door as she Thanked me.
Once inside the scenario was something diligently opposite than anything that I had in mind regarding to a surprise birthday treat. Ironically no one was hiding or even bothered to surreptiously keep their voice low as Lee was fast asleep in the couch while a bored looking Clarissa scanned her nails by the bed.
Riley and Jared stood by the wall beside the door frame I stood over, they mirrored same amusement that was blooming inside me. Edmund smiled from the couch one's he spotted me but it fell the second when Alex walked in, and suddenly it was a legit cold war between us two.
He looked down at me with his hands shoved under the pocket of his jeans, I met his judgmental gaze as he raked my attire with a raised brow, i met his with an equal stance. But what was I suppose to make him feel conscious about? It was just not fair that he can look so cold and hot at the same time.
My nose flared when he had the audacity to roll his eyes at me as he strides to the window at the opposite end of the room. The way he manages to poke his nose in almost everything and make it look like it's our own fault is an evil talent and Alex has mastered them at its best. I turn to look at Edmund, but to my surprise he was already glaring at Alex who was busy staring at me.
"He's staring at you" Riley whispered from side as my frustrated eyes tried to follow the candles that Hailey lit upon the cake and not on his blunt staring contest in the middle of place when we had audience.
"Thanks. I would've never known" I snapped at her but regretted the second when she flinched. When I tilted my face muttering her a sorry my eyes fell upon the pale skin of Jared who had his eyes fixed on the ground. A look of helplessness whiffing over his face now and then.
"What's wrong with him?" I ask jutting my chin in his direction as Riley snorts. Jared looks up at her glaring and his ears turning red before she composes herself. Jared shifts his gaze to me, deciding to answer it on his own.
"I am sharing the room with Alexander for the night." After the declaration he awaits for our reaction. Perhaps a gasp of shock and a wail of pity on his behalf is what he expected. But when I blinked, his face contorted in disbelief "He called me Jordon. Twice. And I was even scared to correct him."
The fact that Jared was scared to his bones was met with my giggles rather than the sympathy he was rooting for. He looked like he would trade Alex for a night in tanks full of piranhas and for some reason I was enjoying every bit of his misery.
Feel my life. My conscience hissed in happiness.
The brevity of my lighthearted inner mockery came to an abrupt end when Hailey clapped her hands signaling us all to gather around the sleeping form of Lee. The mystery of how he managed to be knocked out despite of all the noise around him was envious on my part. It's the kind of sleep I crave for every single night.
"Edmund. Do the honors" Clarissa grinned rubbing her hands together. Edmund on the other hand nodded disconnectedly as I frowned at him. when he sensed my eyes on him he gave me a small smile, but it was forced and his orbs failed to glimmer with the warmth that always comes with it.
"Honor indeed" he chuckled as he picked the jug of water from the side table and took a step near Lee. Since no one from the clique even much as brimmed a speck of shock I realized that this was the ritual Hailey informed me of. But it doesn't mean riley, Jared and I had seen such treatments every year on someones birthday as without a second thought Edmund poured the contents of the jug on Lee's face when it was sharp twelve.
If the above mentioned action was bewildering the reaction from Lee was wondrous to say the least as he alarmingly woke up frantically screaming
"I did not sleep" with that he looked down at his soaked wet shirt, a little twitch of sadness as his lips quivered before he looked up.
"I guess I slept this year too" he sighed and for a moment I wanted to hug him but then he suddenly started shaking his head like a puppy, spraying the water all over as Hailey squeaked something about his germs getting on her cake.
Later he grinned and it was a cue to start the occasion we came here for. We wished him for his birthday, minus the boy by the window who I bet was here only for the cake. He stood there as if competing the statue of liberty with his hands folded across his chest and eyes fixed on his shoe. As if he had been reading my stare on him for a while, he lifted his eyes to look at me with a knowing lazy smirk.
On being caught, I did the one thing I was rigorously proving to be good at. Ducking my head low and cursing at myself. With that done everyone began handing him his presents. Edmund got him the VIP tickets to the concert of his favorite artist, while Hailey shoved him the cake she baked when he asked what her gift was, Riley and Jared had opted for a painfully expensive watch while Clarissa, thankfully in a stable looking wrapper had gifted him a book.
But when he initiated to burn laser hole at it's cover page did we realized the book title was quite unusual with a really familiar face plastered on it.
We all did our best to cough up the laugh and chortles scratching upon our throat as we got aware of what it was.
A guide for surprisingly stupid Asians with A picture of Lee grinning the size of Texas. No doubt it was a prank or that Clarissa was the only girl who can rein Lee's emotions into irritation and anger.
But he stabilized when he teared open the cover from my gift. It wasn't much since I could barely live by my self. If it wasn't for the roof the school provided me with I was adamant that I'd be living a hand to mouth existence by now. So I stayed up till late last night, and painted him a portrait of himself in glass.
I breathed in relief as he grinned at me as he looked up.
"You did this? For me?" I chuckle nodding when someone decided it was time to interrupt and stir the temperature down then it already was in the harsh weather of London.
"No lee, she did your painting to hang it inside her washroom" at Alex retort I felt the visible turbulence that passed over Jared's body who stood next to me.
But for Lee the gratefulness towards what I did was far more genuine to be staggered by the low jab of Alex as he thanked me.
From the corner I watched Alex finally move from his designated spot and walk to Lee. His lips parted slightly as Lee smiled at him. But It wasn't enthusiastic or overwhelming. But filled with a sense of brotherhood and comfort, like he was trying to help Alex with what he wanted to say to him, like an encouragement. And I failed again when I believed Lee to not have such quality.
"I forgot the gift" for anyone else in the room it would've felt that it was quite disrespectful of Alex to admit something without the hint of a remorse. But when my eyes fell upon the way he fisted his hand at the side, I know he was more than guilty. He was angry at himself. But it came as quite a shock when Edmund, the one who stayed grounded and resolved situation, added something that wasn't even close to an attempt of reconciling. Instead it was like a fuel to test the fire.
"Hope you would remember to attend the party tomorrow. No offense but at times it feels like you came here for intentions involving anything other then what you are suppose to" for a brief period the atmosphere in the room goes still, the prominent unsaid dispute between the two friends was something everyone was aware of, but no one questioned.
But since it was Edmund who took the lead this wise, I had no idea if it's just Alex's temper that irked him or he finally has had enough.
Alex slowly inclines as he looks at Edmund through his shoulder, but does not say anything. But as he turned back to Lee his gaze timidly pauses at me, cementing me to the floor.
"I doesn't matter Alex. You came and that's enough for me" Lee got up from the couch and hauled Alex into a hug. Alex shoulder went Rigid for a second before he eased and ever so hesitant and slow one of his hand rose up as he hugged Lee back.
Beside me riley breathed a sigh of awe. But to me it was more then what Lee concealed behind those neutral terms. For him it was enough that his friend returned. It was enough for him that he came back to the life he ran away from. Enough for him that he was finally giving himself and their friendship another chance.
When it was over we all left to rest for the night, calling it a day.
"Are you praying?" amused as I laid on stomach at my side of bed as I watched Riley with her eyes shrunken close and hands clasped, mutter a long promising prayer. When she was done she slept in her back unlike me, the fluffy duvet consuming half of her side as she leaned to switch the night lamp off.
"I do it every night, to keep demons and spirits away" she grumbles yawning as I snort. This seem to set her off as I sensed her frown in the dark, with only the moon light through the blinds falling upon the mocha wooden floor down to bed.
"What's so funny?"
"Nothing" I tried reeling it off.
"You don't believe in supernatural being don't you?" I Answered her with a click of my tongue as she sighed.
"That's the problem of intellectual people, you are too busy experimenting for proofs that you forget the things that are unseen and beyond your grasp" I frown at that but contributed my query nevertheless.
"Like what?"
"like fate" she drawls out with a tanginess in her tone, the smirk was radiating off her side " for instance I am in England about to attend a boys birthday party I barely know about and sleeping beside a girl who got almost kissed by the ice prince, and travelling around with people who I've always admired from afar just in a span of two days. Heck I never had so much going on with me over my entire life as of in these two days. And you my dear friend must realize this better than me. You just get to wheel around your vehicle, but your destination no matter what route you take is already decided by the one who is up there"
I bit my lower lip as I stopped from blurting out anything that would help her corner me more. The more I thought about what she said the deeper it made sense. It made sense because when I kept the blame and wished upon my fate I felt the relief seep into me. To know that it's not always your fault entirely. Just may be there are brighter days for you after the storm migrates.
But this time I had only my metabolism to blame, since I was well rested the sleep was on it's hiatus phase. And a complete hour of futile tossing and counting later I got up from the bed and grabbed the long black parka coat from the hook. Wearing it I stepped down stairs navigating my memory of the kitchen. The hall was dimly lit but it still was dark.
A warm glass of milk was all it should've been my requirement when I got inside, but when I spotted a door to the back yard, Lets say curiosity was my second nature and milk was something that could wait.
The lever was cold as a cube of ice, and so was the night when the wind caressed my sensitive cheeks as I stepped out.
As I walked the drowsy blades of grass tickled my feet from sides, the flip flops I wore wasn't doing much of a job of secreting my ankles. But it would be a lie if I deny that I wasn't enjoying the unblemished calmness of the night when I took a seat upon the twin swing that was in the middle.
When my fingers curled against the cold chains on either side, I took an intake of sharp breath through my teeth at their bitter chillness.
But when I gazed at the magnificently large moon that beamed it's rays upon the damp moistened turfs, I know I had to take the advantage of such night. Do ignore the innuendo.
Slowly I cradled but willed my feets to be planted to the earth as a whiff of enchanting minty fragrance teased the air. I frown at the familiarity, but before I could attach a name to the smell_
"Can't sleep?"
Startled I tilt my neck back, cringing when I heard the snap of a nerve that my neck endured. But the sting swamped into nothingness when I saw Alex standing behind the other swing, his blue eyes fixated on the sky, watching the shadows of cloud pass by.
When I didn't answered him for a while, he looked down at me.
"Yes" I said clearing my throat as I watch him circle the railing and install himself on the vacant seat next to me. It creaked under our weights as I resumed my lazy oscillation.
"What about you?" By surrendering my pride, anger and confusion I found myself asking, it was like i was tired of hating someone who i don't want to hate and for once, atleast for an ounce of this night i want to have a conversation that doesn't involve conflicting emotions and malice. And as if he was going through the same deliberation he eased mirroring my actions.
Merciless to the mild groans of rusty iron now and then.
"Jordon snores" his eyes widens a fraction as if he recalled the intonations of it before he added looking at me "Really loud".
I couldn't help but snort, Alex had always been allergic to snores. He deems it as against moral etiquettes of sleeping. He tried to help noah by suggesting him some nose clippers after he heard him snore after he dozed off in a movie night.
"He reminds me so much of-
"Noah?" He completed for me as I nod tucking the messy strand of hair behing me ears.
"And his names not jordon. It's jared" I smile as a cute frown crowned his forehead.
"What? Why wouldn't he correct me? I've been calling him that since morning" at his gesture of utter confusion I chuckled shaking my head.
"He thought you'll get angry at him"
"For correcting his name?"
I nod craning my neck to look at the brightest glow of star above me as I felt his eyes on me from the corner before he looked up to see the sky as well.
"That's ironic" he sighs. A wave of silence falls upon us until I felt the need to know if he shares the same kind of nostalgia as me.
"I miss them" the soft rush of breeze halts as I put a break to the motion, coming to stop as I look at him. He had discarded swinging a while back and simply gazed down at the grass below. That I until now as he lifts his eye to look at me, The ocean in them so deep that night felt like a mere background to such intensity in front of me. But I continued, hoping not to drown in them then I already have. "I miss Noah, April, Aiden and Diana and so much more"
He breaths though his parted lips as a puff of smoke from cold escapes.
"I do too" I bet my eyes highlighted with a spark of surprise at his acceptance. "I miss them too" he adds again, as if making his point.
"What are we Alex?" I ask with a pinch of hope that he would've answer to it. But when he licks his lips with a flash of regret in his eyes I know he is on the same base as me.
"I don't know Elaine." The raw depth and helplessness in his tone as he whispered my name was enough to isolate me from all the hostility I had gathered towards him for a moment. " but what ever we have become. I don't like it"
I pursed my lips to let the silence of weakness we were fall upon us once again. But this time it was him who broke it.
"Do you like Edmund?" The air on my lungs hitched at the slightest at his interrogation. Alex was the least bit impressed with the topic, I know him that much. The twitch of his lips are enough to know that it was his gesture of distaste.
But to answer him I thought back to the boy I have grown really dependent on. For a while it felt like I was leading him on without my knowledge, but as the bond grew I realized that he had now became the vent of all my positive emotions. He was sweet, genuine and someone who I can be myself around. But was I ready for this?
Have I gotten over the the boy who stole, mended and crushed my heart in a period of few months?
I look as him as the delicate beat of those pieces I had rectified still struggled at his presence.
"I don't know" running a hand through my locks I sighed. But scowled when he nodded to himself. Narrowing eyes in thinking.
"Atleast it's not an yes" he muttered as I huffed in disbelief.
"Edmund is a nice guy Elaine. He's my best friend and trust me when I say that he's an angel in disguise" he say solemnly as he looks into my eyes. I frown deeper when my conscience suggested something really un Alex like.
"Are you trying to play cupid?" I ask to which he frowned, as if it was a ridiculous question.
"What? No. I just wanted to say that it'd be a sin for you to break the heart of such boy when in the end it will always be us" my mouth gapes open in an unnatural way as he smirks shifting his gaze back on the star lit veil above.
Croaking I opened my mouth, strenuously trying to knock my theory into his skull which drastically differed then his. But before it could take place, He cuts off.
"You should go back to your room. You catch cold really fast. Besides your nose's turning red" the way he sparsely glanced at me before he went back to his focus on ravens and night owls that hooted, making the aura evil and unpredictable like him, I decided it was time I stop falling in more disastrously confusing trance because of him. I got up fuming.
But the silly humanity in me raked out one last selfishly selfless concern for him.
"What about you? Aren't you cold?" When he replies with flicker of something unreadable, I regretted ever asking him.
"Don't worry. I am used to it" the barreness I saw in his eyes made it hard for me to lull my mind into rational thinking.
I stood their for a second before willing my feet to walk back. Once inside the warm compressed kitchen i peered out through the window as i watched him, he sat with his back to me. Resuming the momentum of swing as his white mane glistened like treads of silver.
Tonight, behind the tough exterior of Alex White I saw the hesitant boy who was too afraid to show his vulnerability to the world. Too afraid to be judged for how lonely he was.
And I was just as bad as him.
***