Elaine
A ball of cotton.
That's exactly what the tissues that makes up my mouth seem to impersonate it's existence. Tasteless, weightless and aimless.
Why do I even have a tongue?
"Ms. Winters? Are you alright?" jitters. That's what tingled from the tip of my ears to the dent of my collar bone when the receptionist enquired my well being. I blinked at her, pursing lips hard in contemplation to think of an appropriate reaction.
What do I do?
Speak, dumbass! That's what your tongue is for.
"Can I have a glass of water?" I croaked as she smiled laced with empathy as she walks to the side of her desk to grab the packed bottle of water before handing it to me.
"Thank you" sniffing with a polite smile I barbarically tear the cap open as I chug the contents down. The glorious attempt on Procrastination slipped off my hands with each gulp of water I took. When I was done, wiping the soft trail of water from the corner of my jaw with the back of my hand I expected the beautiful and mannered receptionist, probably in her late twenties to eye me with a look of distaste.
But I was again welcomed by her supportive smile.
"I am sorry, I just don't feel good" I admit solemnly as she cracks a chuckle. Her cherry red lips forming the perfect sharp boat corner that can make any girl go stunned with envy.
I was stunned too. But not because of envy, but by the constant slush of flashes from last night, the night that has clearly been white washed from my memory, only leaving behind few teasers of edges that I can't seem to separate itself from dream and reality.
But I don't remember ever going out to buy a cigarette, so the lone unlit bud that I found on my desk this morning still was a mystery.
Or i was denial.
"It's absolutely normal. I've seen the most powerful men in tux and uniforms with a look of I am about to pee in pants before going in. And you are just a teenager and you must be really special for Mr. Blakewall to cancel all of his meetings for the day to give you the first preference"
This made it worse, though it had been the day I waited for so long. Sinking and awaking in between nights to wonder what my life would be like once I find the pieces of those missing puzzles that makes up the most important glitch of my life.
When I woke up this morning, oddly sprawled in floor. The world seemed to have paused for a prolonged minute, before my head felt like it exploded and jumbled itself back before resuming the explosion.
It took me two Tylenols and two minutes of dense regret regarding my desire to eat that damn cake. It could've went on for two more hours, but my eyes fell on the digital clock by the side.
It stayed glued to the spot for some time before slowly, ever slowly it dawned on me. The reason why I was staring at a lone piece of iron with numbers.
I was late for the meeting.
The urgent phone call from Nathan was answered with a foam filled mouth that was mere toothpaste in work as he angrily barked at the way I left his apartment.
He tried to understand my foamy language when I was trying to explain how late I was, but told me to stop eating and speak up. so I hung up on him.
Pulling over a denim dress and some ballet flat I rushed out, I saw a few students in uniform with a resting bitch face, probably because it was Monday. But for me it was the day.
I wasted no time and rushed to the gate, the security lets me leave without a word which was surprising since it was a school hour.
But when I saw the chauffeur with the gullible smile and a yellow note on his right hand did I realized who had it all covered.
Before I know I was being drove around in a dark beamer with a proud flag of United States fluttering upon it's hood. The car smelled and if you could just poke your tongue out, it even tasted of power and pride.
The rich leather interior would've been the same in any other cars of the same genre, just expensive. But it was the thought of the kind of people and personalities that might have travelled in this very particular piece made it ten times more dreadful.
The kind of people who help make decisions for the country, has access to the nations secrets and enough credits to merge the global marketing.
The very thought sends a shudder across the lethargically functioning brain of mine. It intensifies when the chauffer enters the polished concreate and stops the car in front of a soaring high building, similar to the one that Edmund took me to the terrace of.
The morning was bright, but the damn excuse of a head was still foggy. Like it was aware of the importance of the moment I was crawling my way towards but just not willing to cope with it.
When the chauffer takes the job of a guide, I sigh in relief. He presses the elevator to fifteen and when it halts open, the wheezing door slides apart with a soft ding, the view of rushed and erratic working atmosphere stretches wide in an colossally divided hallway.
Everyone looked important and seem to have equally Radical work to carry out. Tux and pencil skirts, badges and crackle of heels and taps of shoes. Files and feuds. A haven for any workaholic and a dream of any aspiring intern.
No one stopped to notice a distraught teenager in messy bun as I ducked my head low following the man. Till he stopped at the reception were the gorgeous woman in navy blue suit jacket and pants greeted me, the word Elite was engraved stylishly on her right.
"Ah Ms. Winters I predict." She beamed in the most friendliest sense one could manage in a Monday morning and that's when I spaced out.
The courage I gathered over the days evaporated in a twinkle of moment. Faster than a wink and the flap of a humming bird. And suddenly all I wanted to do was live in denial of all the things for a selfish bit more.
"Let me help you" the woman nodded with warmth and sincerity as she rounded the lobby and came to stand by my side, her high heels lifting her head up in a confidence that I don't think I'll ever find it in me today. With a motion of her hand she ushered me to move forward.
The broad ligneous door supported the name plate which read his name. the woman, who I was too anxious to glace down for a name tag looked at me, gulping in I gave her a tight lipped smile, while inside of my throat the dryness felt worse than the description of droughts in farmlands.
She pressed a button on side as a faint buzz resonated, soon the tiny red blot of light above the button turned green, which I assume was a way of knocking made complicated. She then proceeded and pulled the lever and pushed open the door. She stepped aside to let me in.
He had his back to me as he stood in front of a large cabinet, tall and broad, potent and influential even with just his back to me.
"Call Samuel and see why is it's taking so long for them t-"
"Sir, it's her. Ms. Winters" he was cut by his receptionist as he discarded his enquiry, it was quite clear that he was talking about me since the ridge of his back goes firm as he turns pensively.
No image from google prepared me to see the man who I thought of so high, up close. Though we were a good ten step away from each other, The tress of his beard was strikingly contrasting than the clean shaved face that I had seen in those pictures, though the customized three piece suit sat richly on his frame, but it was the way he saw me that had me think twice if he is the same man who most people feared to intract with.
Those eyes were too gentle and the curve of smile that stretched across his face as soon he saw me was too parental. It reminded me so much of Dad that for a second I forgot to breath. It such state of daze I failed to notice that the lady was gone, the door shut behind us and none of us had moved a bit.
As if on cue such similar thought seem to snap within him as he walks towards me.
"I am sorry about my action" he shook his head as walked "you just look so similar to Elizabeth that it took me off guard for a second" adjusting his suit he came to a halt in front of me, I blinked at the mention of my mother's name but shrugged the mist of anxiousness that umbrages within me.
I've to stay strong, mention of my mothers name can't and shouldn't effect me today. Not when I had so much more to know.
"Hello, Mr. Blakewall" I nodded as I extended a hand for a formal shake. He frowns smiling still.
"Call me Ian, Elzi" with that he open his arms for a hug. The way he said my name, so causally brought so many rush of emotions, he felt like a family with no certain reason. Burying the hesitation I accept the hug.
He held me for a few second, patting the top of my head as if in assurance.
As if whispering how everything was going to be okay. Only that I had no one to do this to me before, to hold me while they knew every misfits and scarred part of my life entirely, to know how deep my struggles were and yet were sure enough to give me a hope.
It never felt so complete.
Sniffing as a sting of tear that brimmed over my eyes I stand back, he lets the moment stabilize me as he walks me to his office desk in silence. The bright glass encased wall side had the phenomenal view of the city down, even in such bright day light the structures outside seem to sparkle with the elegance of their own.
My steps were soft upon the beige rugged floors, he takes a seat opposite to mine as I take a seat on visitors chair.
"I know you may not know much about me Elzi, but I still remember the day when I held you as an infant for the first time. Even before Fredrick did" in spite of the enthusiasm he tried to portray, the sad smile he breathed wasn't far gone to be left unnoticed.
And that's when I saw the wrinkles that lined his worries, visible upon the kiss of sunlight, the bright eyes swirled with a depth of tiredness and fatigue. He was handsome, no doubt. But the work has aged him more than life could've.
Would my father have been this old and tousled inside with an image of perfection painted for the world to see? I would never know
"How do you know my parents?" though I know the answer I still ask, this was what I ever wanted to know since I saw him with my parents in the picture from the drive. The information from mike nurtured it to a better knowledge, but I wanted to hear it from him. The man himself.
"How much do you know about us Elzi? What did they ever told you about us?" he interlaces his fingers and places them in front of his desk, they don't twitch or shiver like mine which were sweaty and hidden under the sleeve.
"Nothing."
"As expected"
"What do you mean?" I ask lowly, not believing the way he took my words so trivially.
"What else do you know?" dodging my question with his own he studied my face as if my secrets were carved over my skin. My hand clamped upon the wrist of other, I frown at myself as I debated with my own decisions.
Then I decided to trust him.
Trust was a belief of fallacy, it has always haunted me to think of the day I would ever open up to someone completely only to be betrayed by them. Nathan broke the spell, but he wasn't close to my family like Ian was.
Talking to him about the past was worse, we both felt it. The pain, the period, and the nostalgia. I could see it in him. A stream of sentimental silence passed from both the sides after I finished. To every last bit of what I kept from the world.
"You said you tried to find me. Why?" He wasn't surprised when I mentioned the death of my parents, or the break in. in fact he looked like he had most of the part covered, except for this question which brought a glimmer of attention to his thoughtful features.
"I was told that you were in coma when I came to visit you after-" he paused as he delicately held my gaze as if calculating the next word "-the funeral"
Gnawing at the bottom of my lips I nod, trying to be passive.
"That night Fredrick had called me multiple times but the server wasn't applicable in the city I was in. so I never got to know what he wanted to talk about" he fixed his gaze on the crystal spectrum for a paper weight as if it was what holding him back from entirely giving in himself to the guilt, though it wasn't his fault.
"I wanted to stay and take care of you, but my involvement would've cause suspicion to the officials who took your status under their care. I could do nothing until you were awake" he sighed dabbing his forehead with a hankie.
"I woke up didn't i? Then why weren't you there?" I sounded quite harsh even though my words were soft and perplexed.
"I was there. But just a little late. The staffs at the hospital told me that you were discharged a day back and already had a guardian" I licked my lips as I held my breath as I was drawn back to those days. They were so clear that it hurts to even imagine such helplessness again.
Strong demons in head but a weak body that was giving up with just one woman by my side who gave up so much for me, who wasn't even a family.
"It's Diana." My voice was full of gratitude it even surprised me. "My guardian. She was our neighbor in Seattle, was a very good friend of mom. She took me in when I had no one. She even moved to her old town when things got worse. To provide me a change"
I don't have to explain to him what I meant by worse, he nodded in understanding as I looked away, stealing a moment to myself.
"Elizabeth was always good at making friends so I see why she helped you so much."
Then there was that loud silence again. And something about it was atrocious, like it whispered to be broken and that once it was done there was an untamable storm ahead.
"I know you are big people with contacts, you could've found me if you had tried" a weak accusation. That's what it was. But it was enough to tear away the silence to pave a way wider than I anticipated.
"FBI was involved. I came to know about your side of story, it stunned me. After this revelation there was no holding back, Detective Matthews was the man who was appointed for the case-" I welcome the memory of the large man effortlessly, he was the one who though after a few questionable session helped me hide my identity when I told him I didn't felt safe.
It was also a successful method to forget myself, to consider my existence as Elaine was much more easier for me to present myself rather than Elzina Winston. A girl who has nothing, whose world ever was just her parents and with them, gone was her.
"-when I revealed them who I was, they frenziedly helped me to contact him. Only to know that he was missing. And that's when FBI started taking the case seriously, they realized you weren't bluffing or hallucinating during the questioning. It was like the detective was targeted as soon as he helped you with the change, only that he didn't get to register it before-" I felt my body grow cold, the once clammy hands were frozen to ice.
"Before what?"
I watch Ian struggle with the right choice of words to continue. And I happened to wish he never had found them
"The detective was found in his car a week later. Stabbed to death"
Pressure. That's what I felt as a ton of weight held my lungs compressed, denying it of a passage to breath as I opened my mouth to gasp silently.
"Elzi, are you okay? Do you want me to call help?" Ian crouched down as he kneeled on one of his leg to meet my level. I don't know when he came here or how he futilely rubbed my cold hands to calm me down, my world was now just a series of blur as tears streamed down my cheeks.
"He had a daughter. He told me" i sobbed, my voice cracking on every bridge that connected the sentence.
"I know sweetie. It wasn't your fault. Who ever is behind this we are going to find them and make them pay, okay?" like a child in hysterics, that's how he treated me as he softly patted my back. I wished it worked.
It was like everything spiraled down in a second, after how many minutes? I don't know. But I didn't cared, when my senses came back all I did was tug my hand back in disgust.
"Who are you people? Why would anyone try to kill my parents? Who were they?" I didn't cared that I was screaming at a man who visits UN headquarters like a grocery next door, I didn't cared how far gone my patience was, I didn't cared what will happened next. I wanted answers, that's all I wanted as I whispered at the end "who am I Ian?"
A Little tousled by my breakdown he got up, but this time he took the seat next to me, angling both of our swivel chair in a way so were looking at each other, face to face.
"Who do you think your parents were Elzi?" he demanded, all hint of remorse vanishing from his tone. Like he was a composed magnet helping me do the same. Act rational. Still red and puffy from all the crying I sit up better to meet his gaze.
"Everything other than what they ever told me" hoarse and strained, despite of such tone I sounded ready. I was ready.
"Your father Fredrick Winston was from a small family, who struggled with daily needs even. But Fredrick was someone who was peculiar among them, the one thing none other person in the town had. A useful brain." He smile distractedly as if he recalled some pleasant memory "-that's how he ended up in the scholarship program and in the Stuart."
"Just like me?" I chuckle humorlessly.
"Like you" he adds with a warm smile and then continues.
"He was odd, he was a geek but knew how to woo a girl off her feet. It was surprising when he ended up being our friend, but the more surprising thing was when he won a bet among us. When we asked him to date the toughest girl in the school who also happened to be the daughter of the principle herself" he paused to take a sharp intake of breath as I suspiciously spotted a slight smirk tug at the corner of his lips. "But the problem was the idiot started actually falling for her in real. And she was no other girl but your mother, Elizabeth Stuart"
It took me a hefty, thick and stuporous couple of second to register what he said. With wide eyes, the size of saucer I gape at him.
"Like Mike Stuart? Stuart?" I chocked out as he snorts in a gentle fashion for an answer.
"Michael is Elizabeth's nephew and your cousin" he adds like it's was the most common thing in the world to tell someone that their mother who they thought was a struggling piano teacher their whole life was the daughter of someone who runs an empire of finest education hub.
"But- she â" that's how it went when I tried to form a sentence that could express my bewilderment at its finest.
"Why did she live a life of distress?"
Gaping I nod shamefully.
"It goes back to the old era" he tilted his head to side, as if a professional story teller who comically captivates his audience by drowning himself into the tale "after college Fredrick and Elizabeth were so sure about each other that they wanted to settle in life, get married. The thing is, it didn't went well with Elizabeths parents who had a knack for high societies. So they eradicated her from the title of being their daughter when she married Fredrick." He then grinned back at me winking.
Sinking lower in my seat I had an immediate urge to consume some more of yesterdays weed. Just how more messy can this get? To imagine my mom rebelling against her parents was one thing and when Ian continued I felt like I might just faint of nausea.
"You know it was leonard white and I who helped them get secretly married. A wedding with two attendees." He smiled comfortingly leaning his back on the chair. "That night Elizabeths mom called her to meet her, apparently she wasn't such a snob as her husband was-" I sat up still as I desperately tried to shrug away the fact the he was talking about my grandparents. To leave the itch of something behind that I'll divulge later on. The fact that I had a family. Of my own. And Mike is my Cousin?.
"-she gave your mother her blessing and a sour look of warning to your father. But she also gave her something else that night, it was your mothers share of heritance"
"Heritance?" I breathed , the steady beat of my heart gaining it's speed again.
"Yes. Heritance. Only that the newly wed Mrs. Elizabeth Winston had money But no idea what to do with it. Good thing Leonard and I planned to start something of our own. From the scratch. She needed to invest and we were desperate for investors other than our own parents" Little by little with my each increasing beat, everything fell into more whimsical analogy than logical.
"Then what? What happened?" I ask, more curious and shameless than ever as Ian rotated the crystal ball on table aimlessly with a relaxed smile. Probably catching on my state of bewilderment. And then he looked at me.
"It started of slow, with just the occassion parts of submarine exports and equipments. Then I gained my law degree and with my contacts I drew in legal contracts. The corporation began making millions and before we knew it. It had crossed the threshold of billions." It wasn't possibly for me to feel more senlessly sensible like I do now. I felt the buzz of words warming my ears and at the same time it declined how unrealistic this all sounded. To think of the possibilities twisted my stomach in impossible ways.
"But then something happened." He frowned down at his lap, the creases of annoyance clean on his features "Leonard and Fredrick started having petty conflicts. Though it all bagan with Leonard, but the people began preferring Fredrick more because of his witty and easy going nature. Until that day when it grew out of control was when Elizabeth decided she has had enough. She opted to handle the capital branch in washington and leave the rest on Leonards shoulder with me as the legal executer of her share. You were three back then." Weaving his hand through the greying hairs he stopped playing with the weight, bringing back his vivid concentration on a flipped up me.
"It was just a bonus to her idea of bringing you up. She aspired for a life for you, were you could make your own decisions and see struggles and many such things so that you won't end up like her father who valued status over honesty and love" I wanted to laugh at the irony of her thinking. Value honesty and love? By lying to the one you love the most their whole life?
"She wanted to test her qualities and the life which only her and Fredrick could make together. A normal life before you were exposed to who you actually are" he raised a slight fraction of his brow as if hoping for some reaction from me other than a long dumb pause.
"What do you mean by who I am?" At that he gets up from his seat with a diplomatic essence. From the very shelf that he had been gazing over when I first stepped in, he pulls out a large iron shield with the golden embossed words that spelled ELITE with two armoured knights in horses raised on either side.
"You know why we began naming our achievements and megacorps Elite?" It was rhetorical so I stay the same, still dazed and flat. But a loose thread of memory coiled back to the sports club Alex took me to. With the same name, and then there was the schools block and then every other thing by the same name.
"Sure we are best at what we do. But Elite came into existence with it's out stretch from our vision of its past to the future." I frowned deeper as he went on. Tracing the dents of the alphabets with two of his fingers.
"It's an abbreviation. It begins with Elizabeth for E. Leonard white occupies the next. I stand for the middle I. Leonards son Thomas, the heir for T. I suppose you know him by the name Alex. And at the last_" he lifts his sharp eyes at me, candidly captivating my awakened realization with his deep and serious uttrance.
"_ is the girl sitting right in front of me. The heiress. Elzina Merdith Winston"
***
As for any confusion where the readers doubt about the absence of Clarissa in abbreviation, it's mentioned in previous chapter that Ian holds just 9 percent shares of elite and works as an attorney for the corporation. Hence clarissa can chose to follow her fathers footsteps or is free to have different career if she desires. She is not welded to an empire like Eliza and Alex. Since Ian is also a co founder his name is a part of Elite. Hope this helps.