Elaine
Ever felt like you woke up from a nightmare and smiled hesitantly wiping the sweat off your forehead, but you feel the dread leash on when you realize that your present situation is much, much more complicated that the graphic mid slumber hallucination.
Let's say I was going through the aforementioned emotion relatively.
Especially after what he did last night.
I will also tone the actual term into what he did, since with the apt word came more prominence and emotions that were to blissful yet vengeful at the same time.
My thoughts were jammed between practicing the act again and slamming his face in a drum of candy floss.
"You have much better objective in mind to think about other than that, just try" I encourage the reflection in the mirror by the dorms door.
"Let's imagine an ape twerking. Shall we?"
Parting my pony into 'v' I strain it behind my back, before running fingers through the fringes.
Ape, twerk, neck, hands, clo-
"Shut up" I whispered to my inner starved self, interrupting it in any possible way. Grabbing the backpack from the desk beside, I tug down the uniform shirt, despite those sneaky perverted clouds hovering over my rational thinking capability, I grab hold of the lever and push the door open.
My eyes go wide at the detectably absurd scene in front of me.
Though I know it was too late to trudge back into the room, I still whirl back only to meet a close plank of wood. Why do I have to be so in haste?
Slowly I peer over my shoulder,
Still the same.
With a strangle, voiceless groan I completely turn to bless down my undivided focus. I look down, at a really amused Alex who patiently sat, on the floor, his back relaxed, resting against the wall next to his room's door.
One of his legs sprawled out, while other bent with his elbow resting upon.
"Exceptional place to hang out" crossing my arms to hide its clammy nerves I state, angrily, my hostility solely stirred upon the silence he bestowed around us after what he did. Driving me back with the nonchalance of a retired man with a caring family. And of course the barely there arrogant smirk at my speechless state, until I dumped myself inside my dorm.
The kick boxing I carried out with the pillow was another story entirely.
As if of even now the face that I imagined in the place of those pillows tilted to the side, a lock of his hair fell over his brows as his soft yet severe eyes analyzed me.
"Anything that's near you is exceptional. I prefer it this way" he says, the words escapes his lips with confident and gentleness, catching me off guard.
And then he does the one thing that I forgot he was even capable of.
He smiles.
The one that lit up his eyes. Penetrating like the beams of sun through sea. It was mesmerizing, it was beautiful.
So I turn to walk the other way, weaving a path to head for the first class.
Without a second to spare I feel his presence beside me.
Darn his long legs.
From the corner I steal a glimpse, our movement rhythmic in motion and his faint smile still shadowing his features. Like he was devilishly aware of my inner struggles.
"Stop doing that" I stop short halting steps and facing him.
"Stop what?" he blinks with a sinful innocence, his lips curving into more prominant smile.
"That smile" I hiss narrowing my eyes into slits.
"And why exactly?" he flicks the lone lock of hair out of his face.
Because I can't stop looking at them.
"Because your teeth are bright" my conscience gasps in disapproval and I refuse the urge to hit my head against the nearest marble pillar. "It's blinding". I add shamelessly.
I watch him as he bites his lower lip, his eyes tentatively hoods down as if restraining a knowing grin.
My nose slightly flares as I trudge forward. But as soon as I move, so does he in sync.
Frowning stoically I take two step more, and as per count he mimics me, so to confirm my theory, I retreat two back,
And so does he.
Evenly while maintaining the innocent merry feature.
Scowling I initiate a sped walk, all while aware of his childish nature, yet confused as to if this wasn't actually a dream or I did not magically teleported to the past days. Time travel to precise.
Since his stay in Summerville were the only times when I was used to this side of his, playful, surprising and out of the box.
This mere thought bought the unwelcomed memories that reciprocated in between.
And then the low prowl of hurt fills my body. The events from yesterdays, and the present state of illusion.
Reminding my heart again and again that, that's what he was. illusion.
"What are you doing?" I enquire warily, stopping right by the entrance way of my first class.
"Attending the class" he shrugs, annoying me to the juncture of evaporating patience.
"You don't have this class. At least not with me" shifting my legs under the gawking and prying gazes of certain students who noticed us, I feel the bugs of irritation creep over my skin.
He pulls out a folded sheet of lamination from his blazer, I wait till he dramatically unfolds it, before looking up at me with his joyously raised brows.
"According to my new schedule I do" he says smugly.
I feel my eyes stare at him, which I supposedly hope was a glare. With a sharp intake of breath I turn away as my ponytail smacks the air softly as it sways.
Once inside I get rewarded with curious, unfiltered and vile stares, and there was an astounding reason as to why.
I walk to my designated seat, with bad luck hot on my heels as I neared the one empty seat beside me.
Where is Mike when you need him?
A subtle tug on my heart leads me to think of how, unconsciously I wanted to relay on him for support. A brother, a cousin to precise, but still no matter how weird. A family, my family.
"Nice seat, fascinates the art lover in me too" I jerk surprised as I felt Alex whisper from behind, his lips dangerously close to my ears.
I could feel the murmur's in the class, trade into gasps and gawks.
Wasting no more brain cells over the completely, entirely, filliped and perplexed changed demeanor of the boy I shuffled to my seat, only to stalk his movements as he flawlessly slides to the one next to mine.
Like it was the most common thing to do.
In a rigorous attempt to ignore him, I glue my gaze upon the door, I observe each student as they fill in, scan the room, frown when their eyes land on me, more like us, then gape before diving into their seats, leaning over the previous students to fill them in with their dilemmas.
I blinked blankly at the door. Watching the immature process repeat in boredom mixed with anxiousness.
These people saw me drown, almost. And then get saved by someone who had me submerged into the suffocation in the first place.
Were they laughing when it happened? Glad? Sympathetic?
I would never know and I don't even want to.
But even i can't ignore that they now have enough story line to convert it into a novel of rumors.
Three days back it would have mattered me the most. Their judgement's, stares and curiosity. The way I had always let the crowd around me shape me into who I am. Sometimes a boy or a past.
But as to this day, it was least of my worries.
It wasn't the wheels of pride driving my thoughts. To know that I am one of them, like them. Or to be brazen, much more than them.
It was the reaction, a confidence to finally know who you are.
Like I was kept in dark with just a stream of light, and suddenly I was sucked out of it. Basking now in brightness were nothing is hidden.
Well . Almost.
"What are you thinking?" my eyes sterns on the door as my nose flares back. Trying not to appear effected.
"Nothing" I could feel his deep, interpreting gaze on the side of my neck, before he casually places his arms on desk and leans his face to the side, facing me from down with a mischievously glint.
Drawing back my stare from the edge I concentrate my vision on the waste bin behind the podium.
"Liar," he drawls out, the tip of his tongue grazing the end of his front teeth.
Focus back on the bin.
"The corner of your lips twitches every few seconds, you wrinkle that small nose of yours slightly and squint your eyes softly" he points out, listing them convinced. "All the things you do when you ponder over something deeply" Ending it by running his tongue slightly over his lower lip.
"I am not" I stay on my ground. Avoiding the way my heart hammered just by the thought of being observed so crucially, dare I use the word intimate.
At the stubborn response he sits back to his full height, pulling my attention towards him with an invisible string.
He then ducks his face, running his gaze thoughtfully up close as I shift my head back scowling.
He smirks raising a brow.
"You were thinking about last night weren't you? About the ki-"
"Twerking ape" I blurt out the first few word that I could grasp with widen eyes to stop him from uttering that word.
"What?"
"I was- thinking about the video I watched in you tube last night. It was of an ape trained to twerk in a bathing suit" I stiffly breath out, the blood rushing to my facial tissues, the ridiculousness of my words sinking in. I close my eyes, refusing even to entertain myself with the door or trash as silence falls, softly like the earliest of snow between us.
And then a calculated snort fills my ears, and the next thing I hear is the room ringing with his careless laughter. My eyes snaps open, contrasting to the closing chatter in the classroom. All bewildered at the scene unfolding before us.
To them it might have reminded of miracles, but to me? it was the same young and beautiful sound of joy that I was so accustomed to hear every now and then in Summersville.
"Only you" he whispers shaking his head as he falls into another fit of soundless mirth. Taking my breath away.
I purse my lips, sealing it from embarrassing the little dignity I had it in me.
The door slides open as a tall figure figuratively annoyed barges in, looming an invisible shadow of why does this world exist around the atmosphere. His hairs sticking in countless directions as if he just woke up from bed, no scratch that, he looked as if he was still in bed with hooded sleep in his eyes and cruelly tucked shirt under his trousers.
The strap of his camera loosely hanging around his neck and a sole, helpless pencil under the firm grasp of his right hand, while a spinner spins on his left. No bag. No surprise.
He walks towards in our direction, probably to resume sleeping once he had his behind down on seat. But scowls deeper as he sees who invaded his throne.
His eyes follows my state of tomatoness, a flash of amusement laced with dare I say it felt that it was pity, but since he was- well Mike. It could have been anything.
It subsides into an irritated blankness, if that's even possible as he stops by my side. Acknowledging both Alex and i.
"I don't even want to bother myself" he declares muttering to himself. Running his hands through his hairs, but sadly making more of a bird nest out of it.
Unlike all the, okay. Like most of the other guys he wasn't blessed with a natural cool hair. And as his bench mate I had seen worst so this was nothing new. But I could sense the disappointed stare of Alex from behind, apparently hair was a pretty, really big deal for him.
"And yeah Elaine" Mike tips his head waiting. Sighing i zip down my backpack and pull out a fresh note. And offer him, he clicks his tongue in denial at my offering as he leans a little, snatching the note from my grasp and placing it on the desk.
He shuffles to the center page and tearing it neatly, like he had been doing it every morning since years. He plucks out a virgin paper. With a salute using two of his fingers he plops himself down on the seat back to us. He was ready for his class.
The girl beside him blinks in self pity.
"That was interesting" I growl inwardly at Alex's remark who had been observing us like an Eagle, who had his stomach full and just watched the prey to scare them for fun. But it was visible, the playful look gave it away.
An uneasiness swirled in the pit of my stomach, like it tugged me to think of what actually went wrong with him to change so much. He hasn't apologized to me in any sense till now, but there was also this low flick of tenderness, like he was fighting something. Like he wanted say or confront but don't know how or what?.
I know the struggle as I try to keep my guard the same way he was doing now. Especially after what happened yesterday.
It happened when ever I looked at his eyes for more than a second.
The thought of him knowing more than he was suppose to crosses, then I shake it away as soon as it creeps up. It was an unsaid promise between Ian and I, to keep the thing the same way it is.
But then again, what's happening right now makes me question everything again.
Why is he doing this?
What does he know?
Why now?
For the first four periods, I give up trying to figure out why. There was no niche that I could carve, so that I get some lone time to think. He was everywhere. In each of my classes so far.
Whistling away when I look at him. Busying himself with in the knots of his tie or romanticizing the shine of his shoes.
When lunch came around I was geared up to march and settle down beside the cubicle of girls washroom.safe and away from him.But who said I can do things as planned ever.
"Mr Thomas white and Ms Elaine winters are asked to report themselves at principals office immediately".
The announcement from the intercome resonates the corridor as students pause to throw us a wary look.
My head snaps in his direction to see him frown at his shoes as we stood outside the class. The very last one that I counted seconds for it to end so I could carry out my escape plan.
"What did you do?" I ask fruitlessly when I realized that neither do I have any clue as to why my name was mentioned.
He slowly lifts his gaze to me, raising a mocking brow.
"What about you? I don't know of another Elaine Winters in Academy" thinning my lips in defeat I watch him, as something told me he had a fair idea what made the principal herself invited us over.
So we walk in silence.
But when we got to the door my feet glues itself to the glass tiled concrete when my eyes lands on the name board.
Miranda Blaire Stuart.
Like a bucket of ice has been ducked over my head, I blink breathing through my mouth. Recalling the two countable times i crossed the path with the woman behind the door, during the quiz with, under her disapproving radar.
Your mother. principals daughter.
Ian's utterance echo's dramatically as I wince slightly at forgetting such crucial connection.
My grandmother.
Unaware of my present mannequin stage, Alex had already pulled open the door ajar as he waited for me to move.
"After you" he says, igniting a mist of anger and confusion. I swear I am not a masochist to prefer his coldness over this, but rationality always lies in staying away from trouble. And since we both were the exact thing, being apart is the best solution.
I never thought I would ever say this, but I am afraid of losing my cool. And something tells me that this time it's going to be like never before, since I don't feel like myself anymore.
I stomp in as he follows once I am inside.
Inhaling the scent of fresh lavender and for some reason slightly of forest earth. The room was made of wooden floor, unlike other common high schools head cabin, the room was void of any shelf or glass case with trophies, probably because a hall and corridor was already devoted to the cause. It was like as if the school doesn't require such show of achievements to lull people in. As if the name itself was enough.
Since Stuart Academy since 1950 were the only steely inscription on the wall with two large proud flags of United States on either side.
"Glad you both could join us." The diligently crisp voice, that can cause a shiver of insecurity to run through your veins causes Immediately my eyes to fall on the woman across the desk, the lob cut of the pepper grey hair and body clad in beige suit and white shirt was the most feared principle who sparsely looked up from the pages on either of her hand, which she scanned alternately.
I gulp, now rooted on another spot just a little in to the cabin, but jump when I felt a hand at the small of my back. Looking on side I see the straight look on Alexs face, which seem to give him a hard time since his lips kept twitching as if to smile at the reaction he got from me.
He pressed it flatly firm, like a clay when I arched to shift away. With a nod he started walking, and I with him.
And that's when I notice the boy in uniform on visitor's seat with his back to us, who respectively angles on the swivel chair to our footsteps. When we finally acknowledge each other is when we all go uneasy.
That is except the elderly woman who still was focused on those sheets, adjusting elegantly the glasses on the bridge of her nose.
Edmund cleared his throat, diverting his attention to his fingers that were interlocked above the mahogany desk.
The way his eyes casted down when he noticed me and Alex was surprisingly cold, but when it landed again on me a flicker of something washes over, it was sadness, it was bitter.
It churned the guilt inside me.
He had been nothing but nice to me, so were they all. And I don't have a bit of confidence as to how I am going to face them, Do they know about Alex and I? What happened in this three days? What do they think of me now?
"A disappointment" snapping my eyes to the woman who despite of her old age, could make Tilda Swinton run for her job with the way her sharply shaped brow rose with her forest green eyes. Similar to Mike. Lost of life, but not dead. Bored and tired. But unlike Mikes, hers were a mixture of sharp and stoic.
"-that's what you both are proving to be." Stocking the pile of pages down her wrinkled corner of eyes squints lightly at us as she tilts her face.
Unlike Alex I look down in shame, still not aware of what I did exactly for me to have such impression. For god sake she was my grandmother and I managed to blemish my image unknowingly.
Though she hardly appeared like those warm welcoming material I wished she could be, I wanted to be embraced by her in a comfort that only your family could provide. And It has been so, so long since I had felt such.
"According to the records you both skipped the entire class as of yesterday and not even bothered to turn the reason over to the concerned department. And you of all people Mr. white must be well aware of consequences that comes after such irresponsibility" I watch Alex chew on the inside of his lower lip, the blankness back in force towards the principle, like this has happened before. Numerous of times.
"And you Ms Winters" her green emeralds locks with mine, as I breath shakily. "Though you joined mid year, I expected you to be well versed with the academies rule book considering the base of merit that got you here in the first place."
I was swaying with nerves inside, with excitement to be finally acknowledged by her, or with the way her eyes ran over my features slightly with creases on her head.
This was the first time she saw me up close and not on stage or behind a spot light. I know she sees the trace of my mother, her daughter in me. And it was affecting her.
I would've smiled if it wasn't for the situation. I should've been careful, Stuart was not like any other school, it has a status and some really strict precautions to be followed.
When both of us stand mum, she takes it as a cue to grill Alex more.
"And as for you, you can't be granted excuses based on your fathers links or his reputation with the academy. Rules are same for everyone. So we have to make sure such carelessness won't be repeated" she speculates when the silent observer clears his throat, spiking the attention to him.
"I shall leave now, will come around once the problem with the club has been sorted out." Edmund offers, with his arms on the rest bar to pull himself up, leaving whatever the meet he came here for, to let the principle decide our fate.
"No Edmund"at that he stops, the first name basis with the schools head boy made me envious of him. what could I give to hear her call me Elzina.
"your problem has quite been sorted out." Adjusting her golden cufflink as it glimmers in light, similar to the way her eyes lights up, surprisingly in an entertaining way. "since your leads for annual play were expelled for a period of time because of indecent behavior, Mr. White and Ms. Winters will fill in for the cause"
A curtain of silence falls over the room, each contemplating and weighing the outcome. And soon the reaction erupted like a soda from a shaken can.
"Wait, what?"
"What?"
"What the hell?"
"Language Mr. White"
And I don't think the distinguish between who said what is required. And the final blow to the steam of distress came a second later,
"And as the president of Drama club Edmund will fill you both in with the plans and practice, and so will he keep a close watch regarding your behavior and progress-" her eyes regarded Alex when she said that behavioral part "-I expect your full contribution to the cause."
When all our bodies shifted in an argumentative stance with our mouth gaping open.
"You all are dismissed"
And then, no more words were exchaged.
***