Elzina
When you have too much worry stomping at your shoulder's, pulverizing the emotions, pain, and respite into a bond so tight that you start wishing for sleep to conquer those ill feelings. So it's a relief for a while at least.
I was rewarded with one. I had fainted last night after I emptied the contents out.
I slept.
But I woke up. Now untied, wide awake in bed I sat. With an untouched plate of food next to me. Cold and drying. I even refused to touch the glass of water despite the plea of my body. Draining of hydrants, and nutrients in general my stomach ached and so did my head.
Breathing shallower.
Body weaker.
The mattress dips next to me, I bring my knees closer to my chest. Embracing them in an angry grasp as i force my back to the bed frame. I refused to look at him as he sat beside. Stared at the pale wall as stoic as my frail vision could. It kept blurring occasionally.
"I am sorry"
My hand clenches. I could feel the sharp edge of nails aggressive against my palms.
"Shut up" I whisper, the word repeating inside my head in circles. How dare he? Apology?
"Look" suddenly he yanked my head, weaving his fingers through my hair, he holds me so that I faced him. startled I watch him, breathing on mute, shick apparent "-you can act stubborn all you want. It's a trait I love about you by doing so you are just going to make me fall for you even more"
Immediately I plant my hand on his chest, pushing him roughly I slide off . My breaths coming out in hard puffs.
Dizzy, my feet staggers. He gets up abruptly to help me as I stop him with a gesture of my hand.
"Stay away from me" i warn him, hoarse and much to my dismay. Afraid.
I don't know him.
I don't know anything about him.
He was crazy.
He is crazy.
His lips thins in displeasure. His concern and consideration vanishing as if it was illusion.
Blank.
"Fine then. I may be here to protect you from harm" I wanted to laugh aloud. A sick mirth to make him realize just who I need protection from. Him. But what he said next, wiped away the entire of feistiness I was ready to topple him with. "Alex is out there unprotected"
Fear rips through me. I merely watch him, counting on cracks. Even the thinnest of symbol that will help my anxious heart. He can't do this. For god sake it was Nathan.
"Why are you doing this?" I ask, my hands losing all its strength. Stagnant by sides.
Like a gust of wind a softness trespasses his eyes. Then it hardened. He was diplomatic, there was no space for care and honesty in his heart. His vile side was winning while the boy I now was dying inside.
Nathan needs help.
But so do i.
"I have stocked some of your clothes by the dresser. The water is warm. Help yourself to a relaxing shower and I expect the plate of food to be empty when I come back. That and-" his monotone commands halts as he looks away- the possible evening sunset casting an orange glow by his cheeks. How long? Where was I? Since when?
Too many questions that he'll never answer me. But_
"That and?" I made a dramatic bow snarling as he holds back from rolling his eyes. I could punch that eyes and upgrade them into a blue black version if only I wasn't in a state in which I could barely lift my hands up.
"And if you don't- i will find a way to make you." Irritation and dread seeped in, but most importantly the sour promise his utterance seem to withhold underneath.
Never in a thousand years would I have agreed with him, but just the thought of what he is capable of left me numb. He can kill. He is willing to hurt. He is willing to stoop so low enough that it was atrocious to even think about fighting him.
With my eyes cast down, I don't lift it. Don't look at him even when I felt the burns from his gaze on me. And in that moment I wanted to do nothing but hide myself away from him.
I hear him leave. His footsteps fading until a crack of door could be heard. Clink of lock. Crackle of the keys. Then nothing.
Nothing.
I felt nothing for a while. My feet drags my body to dresser where I gather the grey dress shirt and jeans I once had on while Alex had pushed me into the pool. It was Nathans apartment I had found shelter in. left them there as his flat mate zoe had provided me with her punk attire.
I remembered now.
He never returned it.
Saving it for this day?
A strangled sigh leaves my body, my fingers trembled at the betrayal Alex and I had endured.
Alex.
A series of moments, ripples as I recall the moments we had spent. It stops by the last fight we had.
Where is he? What is he thinking? Does he even know?
And then the what if's- began.
Rubble and rubbish. All sorts of cruel imageries dominated my head to the point I had to physically stop it by fisting a chunk of hair.
Then I remembered that Nathan had held me by it.
I swallowed a gag as I moved in the direction of washroom. Making sure it was locked and concealed by kicking and nagging in thrice, I stripped off the clothes. In shower I check for the pins that use to tuck the growing bangs out of my face.
My fingers failed to find them. They were free in loose greasy curls.
Of course. Nathan knows I could pick locks with them.
One of the more reason why i scrubbed my skin and hair enough till it meddled with my blood flow. Patches of pale redness spreads as I watched my wrist. The bruise from rope still raw and stinging. Dressing up, I shuffled through the cabinet to find a mouth wash and a new brush.
It was white in colour.
When I was done with it, my hands kept sliding over and down the doors of small storages. Finding it all void. Void of any thing that I can use.
Wet hair kept dripping, droplets of water on sides, dampening my shoulder.
Occasionally i shuddered when the soft breeze caressed my skin.
City was not this cold.
On spotting a niche I jump, crane my neck and even hopped on tippy toes in hopes of peaking what's out side. Out of breath, i realized that toilet seat was mere few inches away, by the corner. Shutting the lid I place my foot on it. Hoisting up i crouch, tucking the stray strands of hair behind my ears I scan through the vent.
As theorized.
This was not Orlando. The fog and mist clouded the woods, like this house was the only monument of civilization here. The cold so crisp, different than Floridian season. Like we were in higher ground.
Straining my gaze farther the peep hole I spot some rogue looking men on right. Was I expecting something less from Nathan and keira white?
No.
In dark clothes, all camped by the fire place. The glistening metallic object by their waist-
I was familiar with it.
Alex taught me how to use them.
Once I stepped back on the floor. I wasn't as hashed as before.
The room I was in, neither big nor suffocating. But it was the manner Nathan had it altered so that there was no way to escape. Windows locked, furniture jammed and bolted, objects cleared. It was a prison with fancy walls, rug and a bed.
Night fell, the sun sinks further and further as raven clouds veiled the sky.
The clock obnoxiously ticked. The time ran. It waited for no one. I glared at it every wise an hour striked and it played an awful tune to rub it on my face.
My hand clamped over my knees when I heard the groan of door being opened.
I wasnon the floor, my back pressed against the foot of the bed. A mild glow from the bedside lamp pooling around me.
"You ate" the first thing I noticed was the smile in his statement. I still don't look at him, choosing to pointedly fix my gaze towards the yellow fluorescent.
My stomach was full.
Yes I ate the edibles. But it was not because he had told me to.
It was because I needed that to survive.
Survive in more ways than one.
My body prickles with alarming senses as he gets closer. Leaning so the he could collect the plate. I let my left hand fall in a natural style, only that it searched the area next to me for an entity.
When I found it, I clutch it rigidly.
For a brief second I turn, our eyes locks. It must've been the flushed cheeks and predictable stratagem as he narrows his eyes. Suddenly his hand raises as if to search-
I don't let him.
I was faster at splashing the glassful of mouth wash I had emptied from its plastic vial into the paper cup he had given me with water filled in.
"YOU BITCH" He screams, his arms, one blindly on air to search for me while the other massaged his eyes from the harsh, burning stings.
Without thinking much of what my next step should be, I crawl away from him. Making a run for the open door as soon as my feet worked. I heard his glowering hollers as he stumbled, asking me to stop.
Was I a fool?
"Stop" he begs, but an uncanny desperation and wrath evident.
Once I was in the dark living room, I filter my mind with the directions I had mapped. The right portion of the house was guarded by men, but there must a left to it. A back door. A window. Something.
There was no light here, the silver shadows from outside were the only source. I managed to hurt my legs times uncountable as the never ending furniture hurdled my path.
"Don't make this mistake El" I hear his voice, much nearer and crystal than a while ago. I duck, I a swift motion I hide behind the couch. My spine straight like iron upon the leather plane.
My breath staggers as puff of white smoke wanes. My body shivered at the cold drop in temperature as there was no artificial heat generated here like in the room I was in. The thin shirt wasn't helping at all.
With a pained expression I clasped my finger to my chest tightly as I bundled my sitting posture. Shrinking more as I heard his footsteps.
"El. You'll die if you leave this place. The woods is far more cold" he advises aloud. So confident that I was still inside even though he hasn't located me yet. "Now be a good girl and come out"
I closed my eyes, the silence an octave low that I could even her the beats of my anxious heart and feel the gush of warm flow as my blood boiled with adrenaline and fear.
Minutes drags.
The lack of sound was like the most beautiful and horrific melody to my ears. It was the last queasy echo of the door opening and shutting, with it the absence of his movements inside assured me that he left. Left to search for me.
I slowly poke my head, my eyes just enough to peak a glimpse. Only to find a buff looking man enter in time.
Killing the gasp, I immediately shift back, reviving my previous position as I sink further.
Closing eyes.
Counting seconds.
Craving more.
For freedom. For help.
Suddenly a hand grips my arm, my eyes snaps open in a reflex. A hard but gentle press of hand clamps my lips shut, the onset of a cry dies as a familiar scent of mint engulfs me.
One look at his blue eyes, I melt in his arms. I don't feel, see or understand what was happening. Neither the how? The how of his presence her.
I breathed Alex in more than air as he holds me, shields me tighter and frimmer.
And then I felt his Chin angle by my shoulder, as if he was looking at someone behind us. I opened my eyes as he pulls me more protective against him, like he was angry yet timid.
A shadow falls upon us.
My fingers curls by Alex's shirt.
Feeling the dread creep.
Feeling the end- skin deep.
***