âNot to me,â she says plainly, and at first I almost think itâs a joke. But the conviction in her voice tells me that sheâs actually serious. This girl is absolutely mad. She thinks someone like me could be friends with someone like her? Doesnât she know that I can barely stand people in general, let alone my own group of âfriendsâ?
How shall I begin the list of reasons why this would never work?
âWell, for starters, youâre too uptightâyou probably grew up in some perfect little model home that looks like every other house on the block,â I begin, thinking of the black mold covering the ceiling in my childhood bedroom. âYour parents probably bought you everything you ever asked for, and you never had to want for anything. With your stupid pleated skirts . . .â I look at the outfit sheâs wearing now, ignoring the way the material rests on her full hips. âI mean, honestly, who dresses like that at eighteen?â
Her mouth falls open and she steps toward me. I back away without thinking. I can tell by the stormy gray of her eyes that Iâm in for it.
âYou know nothing about me, you condescending jerk! My life is nothing like that! My alcoholic dad left us when I was ten, and my mother worked her ass off to make sure I could go to college. I got my own job as soon as I turned sixteen to help with bills, and I happen to like my clothesââ She waves her hands toward her outfit, shouting now, so frustrated that her small hands are shaking. âSorry if I donât dress like a slut like all the girls around you! For someone who tries too hard to stand out and be different, you sure are judgmental about people who are different from you!â
And with that, she turns away from me to face the door.
Is she telling the truth? Is this perfect girl actually caught up in the unfortunate cycle of kids having to grow up too fast? If so, why is she smiling every time I see her?
Judgmental? Sheâs calling me judgmental after labeling girls who dress a certain way sluts? Sheâs staring at me now, waiting for my reaction, but I donât have one. Iâm rendered speechless by this fiery, judgmental, intriguing woman.
âYou know what? I donât want to be friends with you anyway,â she says before my brain pulls out of its stupor.
Tessa reaches for the door handle, and I think back to Seth, my first friend in my life. His family had no money either, but when one of his rich grandparents he didnât know died, he got a pretty penny. His ratty shoes were traded in for white ones with lights on the bottom. I thought they were so cool. I asked my mum for a pair once for my birthday. She gave me a sad smile, and on the morning of my birthday, she handed me a shoe box. I was so excited to tear the thing open, expecting those damn light-up shoes. Inside the box was a pair of shoes, all right, but with none of those pretty lights on the bottom. I could tell the gift made her sad, but I didnât quite understand why until the months went by and I started to see Seth less and less, until one day, the only time I got to see him was when he walked past my house with his new friends, all wearing light-up shoes.
He was my first and last friend, and my life has been much more simple without friendship.
âWhere are you going?â I ask Tessa, a girl who thought we could be friends. She pauses, confused. Just like I am.
âTo the bus stop so I can go back to my room and never, ever come back here again. I am done trying to be friends with any of you.â
I feel like a complete shit. On the one hand, having her hate me will be better in the long run, but on the other . . . well, I want her to like me enough to fuck me.
She can hate me after I win the Bet.
âItâs too late to take the bus alone,â I say. Looking the way she does and the fact that sheâs been drinking liquor all night, it would be a really fucking bad idea for her to go to the bus stop by herself.
She spins around to face me, and I realize for the first time there are tears in her eyes. âYouâre not seriously trying to act like you care if something happened to me?â Tessa laughs, shaking her head.
âIâm not saying I do . . . Iâm just warning you. Itâs a bad idea,â I tell her. I glance at my bookshelf, comparing her to Catherine, the main female character in the book she was reading when I walked in. Sheâs a lot like her: moody and with too much to prove. Elizabeth Bennet is the same, always opening her mouth with some emphatic point to make. I like it. College girls these days just seem to have lost the spunk. They only want to please men, not themselvesâand whereâs the fun in that?
âWell, Hardin, I donât have any other options. Everyone is drunkâincluding myself.â She starts to cry all over again.
I soften a little. Why is she crying? Sheâs always crying, it seems.
I try to cheer her up the only way I know how . . . with sarcasm. âDo you always cry at parties?â
âApparently, whenever youâre at them. And since these are the only ones Iâve ever been to . . .â
Tessa opens my door, but as she goes to leave, she stumbles and grips the edge of my dresser.
âTheresa . . .â My voice is soft, softer than I knew it could be. âYou okay?â I ask.
She nods. She looks confused, pissed, and stunning; mostly pissed, though.
Do I care if sheâs okay? Sheâs sick and drunk, and thereâs no way in hell Iâm going to try and score points against Zed tonight. I donât want to, and that would be cheating, anyway; sheâs far too drunk.
âWhy donât you just sit down for a few minutes, then you can go to the bus stop,â I suggest. Maybe Iâll win some points for being the nice guy.
âI thought no one was allowed in your room.â Her voice is soft and full of curiosity as she sits on my floor. If she knew all the shit that has been on that floor, she wouldnât be sitting there, Iâm sure.
I find myself smiling, and the moment I realize what Iâm doing, I stop immediately. I make myself clear. She nods and hiccups, looking as if sheâs going to puke any second. âIf you throw up in my room . . .â I warn.
Sheâll be cleaning that shit up, thatâs for sure.
âI think I just need some water,â Tessa tells me.
I hand her my cup. âHere.â
Her hand pushes against the cup as she rolls her eyes in annoyance. âI said water, not beer.â
âIt is water. I donât drink.â
She snorts. âHilarious. Youâre not going to sit here and babysit, are you?â