Chapter Forty Six - Help
Milo's P.O.V -
I definitely enjoyed spending this much time with Lincoln. We were both sat on his bed, I was sat at the end of the bed with my legs crossed as I searched for presents for Cole. Meanwhile Lincoln had a pair of earphones in and was listening to something.
"What are you doing?" I asked when he frowned.
He looked up at me for a moment before tapping at his phone and pulling his earphones out.
"Huh?" He asked staring at me.
"What are you doing?" I repeated.
"Oh." He smiled at me. "I was just listening to a pack meeting that I missed, Cora recorded it for me."
"What's it about?" I questioned looking back to my laptop.
"Oh it was just a general meeting, we have one every month to discuss general concerns." Lincoln explained.
"What were you frowning at?" I mumbled.
"Oh, someone mentioned you that's all." Lincoln said before glancing back at his phone, I stopped him before he could put his earphones back in.
"What?" I frowned. "People are talking about me? Did I do something?"
Lincoln hesitated. "Um, well."
"Lincoln?" I felt some anxiety build in my chest.
"It's just that some people are waiting for your introduction to the pack, they want to meet you and see who they got into a battle for." Lincoln explained. "That's more my fault than yours."
"My introduction to the pack?" I spoke confused.
"It's not a big thing, I'm just supposed to take you to the monthly pack meeting and introduce you as my Luna. I should've done it a while ago but things have got in the way." He said. "I was going to ask you if you'd go next month?"
I nodded. "What do I have to do?"
"Nothing." Lincoln replied. "Just be there, let people see who you are, maybe talk to some people."
"Yeah okay, I can do that." I spoke confidently.
"Yeah?" Lincoln looked slightly surprised.
"Why wouldn't I be able to do that?" I closed my laptop so that I could give him my full attention.
"I just wasn't sure how keen you are on the whole werewolf thing, you never really mention it." He shrugged.
"Neither do you." I replied. "And your the werewolf here, you'd think you'd talk about it more often."
"I just didn't want to push things." Lincoln told me putting his phone away.
"I've hardly seen your wolf." I told him.
He looked at me with a smile tugging at his lips. "Do you want to?"
I nodded. "Yeah, it's interesting."
Lincoln grinned at me as he jumped up from the bed. "Well let's go."
I smiled standing up. "I'll bring Buddy so that he can run around for a bit."
"He better not bite me." Lincoln grumbled as we walked out of the room with my dog.
"He won't." I laughed lightly. "He'll be scared."
"He better be." Lincoln muttered. "I'm an alpha."
"Yes you are." I cooed as if he was a child.
He rolled his eyes. "You're lucky you're my mate otherwise my wolf would get mad at you for that tone."
I smiled and quietly followed him out of the house. I sat down on the steps of the porch behind his house watching as Lincoln pulled Buddy further into the field.
"Just stay calm." Lincoln told the dog.
"He doesn't understand you." I called over to them.
Lincoln glanced at me before looking back at the dog. He stepped away, pulled of his shirt and took of his shorts. I wondered if werewolves got cold, Lincoln hardly flinched at the fact that he was stood in his underwear outside in the middle of winter. Meanwhile I was freezing despite the jumper and joggers I was wearing.
I watched in amazement as Lincoln shifted into his wolf, I still hardly believed that this was real. His brown wolf trotted towards me but Buddy moved between us.
He growled and stood up as tall as he could but he was still considerably shorter than Lincoln's wolf. Lincoln growled back and approached him slowly, he bared his teeth at my dog.
I frowned but trusted that Lincoln wouldn't hurt Buddy. Buddy stopped growling and suddenly lowered his body and showed his neck to Lincoln. Lincoln backed down before sitting and staring at me.
I smiled at him and shook my head. "You scared him."
Lincoln tilted his head and let his tongue roll out before he began to lick the side of Buddy's head.
Buddy got into the position to play and Lincoln seemed to understand so soon enough they were chasing each other around the field. I laughed watching them play with each other, I had to remind myself that this wolf was in fact Lincoln. He was acting like the dog's Buddy meets in the park.
I shivered rubbing my arms to warm up.
"Here." Someone spoke before a coat landed on my lap.
I smiled over at Victoria. "Thanks."
"It's Lincoln's coat, he hardly ever wears it." She said sitting down beside me. "This is cute."
She nodded towards where Lincoln had laid down and was letting Buddy jump on him.
"Has he been spending more time with you?" I asked as I pulled the coat on.
Victoria nodded instantly. "Definitely, but not just me. He's spent more time with the pack and our parents too."
I grinned. "That's great."
"Yeah." She sighed. "But he wasn't happy."
My face fell. "What do you mean?"
"He was struggling, he needed you." Victoria told me. "I could hear him in his room crying, but since you've been back he's been much better."
I frowned. Her words reminded me of what Wyatt had told me about Lincoln's panic attacks.
"I mean mates are supposed to need each other, but I think he needs you too much." She said before scrunching her face up. "I'm not sure if that makes sense."
"I understand." I told her. "I'm going to talk to him about it."
She just nodded as her eyes followed her brother who had began to chase Buddy.
"Join them." I suggested. "I know you want to."
"I shouldn't leave you to sit by yourself, you'll get bored." She said still not looking at me.
"I'll probably go inside, I'm still cold even with the coat and it looks like it's going to rain. I can't get my cast wet." I explained grabbing my crutches.
She smiled at me. "Then maybe I should join them."
I smiled in return before saying my goodbyes and making my way back into the house. I ended up making a hot chocolate and sitting by the window to watch Lincoln and Buddy. Victoria had shifted and was now running laps around them.
I watched the scene with a warm chest but the atmosphere changed suddenly. Lincoln looked over to where I had been sitting outside and stopped suddenly. Victoria ran into him by accident and knocked Lincoln to the ground.
Lincoln jumped up and turned to her with a harsh growl, he snapped his teeth at her but didn't approach. Victoria's ears flattened against her head and she stepped away while making herself appear smaller.
Lincoln ran towards the house still growling. Buddy stood still not knowing what to do anymore.
Lincoln shifted once he reached the steps and didn't bother to get changed as he went up the steps and out of sight. Soon I heard the back door open and close.
"Milo." Lincoln called as he walked into the room.
"Yeah?" I asked him confused. Why had he snapped at his sister?
His face changed to one of relief as his eyes landed on me. His whole demeanor changed as a wide smile spread across his face.
"Where did you go?" He asked as he approached me.
"I was cold." I spoke slowly, I was confused by his mood swings. "Why did you almost attack your sister?"
He frowned for a moment. "I didn't."
I stared at him in slight disbelief. "Lincoln I saw you."
I looked back out the window to see Victoria pulling her clothes on, her head was bowed and her back slightly slouched. Buddy had followed her to the porch but he remained cautious.
"All she did was bump into you, you were doing the same thing to her." I told him.
"My wolf was on edge." He shrugged it off. "I'll apologize later."
I continued to watch him as he grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around his body.
"Why was your wolf on edge?" I asked him knowing the answer.
He freaked out as soon as he noticed that I wasn't there.
"He just was." Lincoln spoke dismissively.
I sighed standing up. "Let's go up to your room so that you can put on some clothes, then I need to talk to you about something."
He didn't move but he tensed and glared at me. "What do you want to talk about?"
"I'll tell you once we're in private." I said moving towards the stairs but he still didn't move.
I turned back to him to see that his eyes were glazed over telling me he was mindlinking someone.
I waited patiently until his eyes returned to normal. "Lincoln?"
"I told everyone to not come in here." He crossed his arms. "So tell me now."
"Are you seriously that impatient that you won't even wait to walk to your room?" I scoffed.
"Yes." Lincoln spoke blankly.
"I'm not going to have this conversation with you if you're like this." I mumbled. "Please Lincoln this is serious."
His face softened before he stood up and walked over to me. He wrapped his arms around me and rested his head on my shoulder.
"Okay I'm sorry, you just kind of sounded like you were going to break up with me." Lincoln spoke quietly.
I smiled into his shoulder. "I could never break up with you."
He relaxed in my hold. "Alright lets go upstairs."
His eyes glazed over as he mindlinked someone again however this time he did it while walking with me. Once we reached his bedroom he pulled on some clothes before sitting next to me on the bed.
"So what did you want to talk about? Are you alright?" He spoke with concern.
"I'm fine." I reassured him. "This is more about you than me."
"About me?" Lincoln frowned as he reached forward to grip my hand. "Have I done something?"
I shook my head. "Um, it's something that I have noticed and been told about."
Lincoln looked confused but didn't ask any further questions.
"There's something which has been bothering you since everything that happened with me and your mum, and my dad." I wasn't quite sure what to say, I wanted Lincoln to explain the situation rather than making assumptions. "Wyatt has told me that you've been having panic attacks and you weren't sleeping while I was away. You always seem on edge, especially when I'm not around. I want to know what wrong Lincoln, so can you tell me?"
He looked down at our joined hands and bit his lip. "I-"
He didn't continued and just shook his head. I squeezed his hand and used my other hand to tilt his head up so that he was looking at me.
"It's okay Lincoln." I told him. "I just want to help you."
"I-I don't feel like your safe." He whispered so quietly I could hardly hear him.
I stared into his watery eyes and let a soft smile spread across my face. My hand cupped his cheek and I caressed it with my thumb.
"But I am Lincoln." I spoke warmly. "What makes you feel like I'm not?"
He shrugged pulling his eyes away from me once again.
"So you think I'm not safe? Is that why you always want me around?" I tried not to push him but at the same time I wanted answers.
He let out a shaky breath before nodding. "It's my job to protect you, but it's hard because I don't know who to protect you from. You got hurt by your own family Milo, if your own father is willing to hurt you then who can I trust not to."
Once a tear fell from his eyes I wasn't sure what to do. I pulled him into a tight hug and we remained like that for a few minutes.
"Lincoln, I think you've gained some trust issues or some form of PTSD." I spoke as gently as I could.
He frowned and attempted to pull his hand away but I didn't let go.
"I'm sorry, I know that you don't want to hear that." I said. "But I think you should talk to someone, a therapist possibly."
"I don't need a therapist." Lincoln gritted out. "There's nothing wrong with me."
"If there's nothing wrong with you then the therapist will dismiss you after one session." I tried to reason with him. "Please can you just visit the pack hospital?"
Lincoln sighed and shook his head. "No Milo, I'm an Alpha. I can't-"
"You can't what?" I narrowed my eyes. "It doesn't matter who you are. If you need help you deserve to get some."
"Alpha's are supposed to be strong Milo." Lincoln clenched his jaw.
"This doesn't make you weak." I told him.
"Of course it does Milo." He huffed. "I need to go to a therapist because I can't protect my own mate? That's pathetic."
"You can protect me, not that I even need protecting." I told him. "You've just become a bit paranoid and it's clouding your judgement."
"Clouding my judgement?" Lincoln spoke unsure.
I nodded. "If I was in danger, which I'm not, you wouldn't be able to assess the situation with your current mindset."
Lincoln stayed silent for a few moments. "So you're saying that I'm the one putting you in danger?"
"No." I spoke immediately. "No one is putting me in danger, I'm completely safe. I just need you to realize that."
"Do you really want me to see a therapist?" He looked up with sad eyes.
I gave him a weak smile. "I do. I think you'll really benefit from seeing someone."
"Okay." He whispered. "If it'll make you happy."
"What makes me happy is you being happy, and at the moment I don't think you are." I ran a hand through his hair.
He just nodded silently. "Can we have a nap?"
I smiled widely. "Of course."
"And I'll be the little spoon." Lincoln spoke in a slightly vulnerable voice.
"Okay." I told him taking of my shoe and laying my crutches down so that they were no longer resting on the bed.
I crawled under the duvet and wrapped my arms around Lincoln who's back pressed against my chest. I placed a kiss on the back of his head before drifting off to sleep with the warmth his body provided.