Chapter 13: 12: VERTIGO

Forward, side, together. Forward, side, together. Sway.

Talitha watched Kalum over Adam’s shoulder as the priestess faced Jackal. The duo's voices mingled from measure to measure. Jackal’s singing didn't sound like Kalum’s, velvet or honey, but resonated something starker and darker. Covered in dark red rune marks exposed through his black attire, with dark hair combed to expose his fiery stare, Jackal looked like a burning shadow beside Kalum’s soft appearance.

Their words shifted from native tongue to Unispeak, and spun laments of mourning in heavenly kingdoms. Talitha glanced aside when Adam’s head moved closer to speak in her ear, though they were still linked over COM.

“You look beautiful, Li. I like the yellow on you. Matches your personality.”

Talitha glanced at her lemon-colored gown. “Does it?”

“Aye. Something’s off, though.” His icy gaze pored over her features. “Your freckles—they’re gone?”

“It’s the paint.” She touched her cheek. “The stylists did that. Threw me off, too. I don’t look like me.”

“Oh. That’s what happened.” He nodded. “Well, you look lovely even without your freckles. More…serious, though.”

Talitha laughed, his description an echo of what she’d heard earlier. “Serious. That’s what Kala said. Guess that’s all right. I like the gown, the fabric’s silky and feels good on my skin. Touch it, mate.” She paused their dance and lifted the hem. Her grin spread wide when he rubbed the cloth. “Good shit. This dress costs fifteen-k. How mad, and I’ll wear it once.”

“Yeah. Mad.” Adam chuckled, releasing the hem. “I’ve got to say, though, I’m disappointed in you.”

“Disappointed?”

“You didn’t mention how I look.” He tapped on his waistcoat. “Beautiful, too. Impressive, even.”

“Wow. Impressive?” The smile stayed on her face as they resumed. “What do you need me for, ace? You’re handling the compliments all by yourself.”

“Tell me what I already know. I like hearing it. Ruffles my feathers.”

Talitha examined Adam’s fair hair coiffed to perfection, framing his handsome, lightly-tanned face. She lowered her voice for drama as the orchestra swelled. “You’re beautiful, Pender. Stunning. Why am I so nervous around you?”

“Perfect.” Adam bowed his head. “Means we match.”

“Oh. Smooth.” Her laughter eased as they spun. “You know, Savena asked if you were dancing with anyone. I guess she couldn’t find you if you asked me.”

“Savena?” Adam frowned.

“Aye. One of my ward sisters. You know her, you shared Ethereal Physics III last term.”

“Oh.” His clear stare moved aside. “Right. I know Savena.”

“She’s pretty, Adam, and she likes you. I can see you two pairing for a while. I’ll re-introduce you. You might get along.”

“Uh.” Adam shook his head. “I’m all right.”

“Really? You can trust my judgment. I haven’t been wrong yet.”

He met her gaze, taking a serious air. “I asked you to dance, not her. You’re right that she’s pretty, but I want to be serious with someone special now.”

“Your flower in the ashes.” Talitha glanced behind her, looking for Savena. “Maybe Savena’s—”

“She’s not.”

Talitha faced him again, acquiescing with a bow. “Whatever you want.”

They swayed in pattern with the other dancers. Adam twirled Talitha with graceful ease, displaying her in her gown, and she drifted along as he shifted her in a new direction. The venom amplified every sensation, and her lids closed during their easy pattern. Adam’s cheek grazed her head when he pulled her close.

“Adam.”

The lights overhead pulsated to the orchestra’s music. She heard his low reply.

“Yeah?”

“I’ve been thinking about your family.”

He exhaled, long and slow. “Why?”

“If it wasn’t for Pender-Pal, no one would want to be near us. Everyone sees us as diseased.” Her gaze skirted over the crowd. “I get that feeling even here.”

“That’s not true. I don’t think you or any of the other wards are diseased. No one here would say that either.”

“Maybe not, but they think it.”

“So?” He steered them to the right, changing position with the couple dancing beside them. “Can't do anything if they are. Hope our work changes minds. That’s the goal.”

“Your father saved my life. Your mother saved my future. I understand your family’s sacrifice for us all, and your loss.”

“Okay.”

Silence followed. Adam spun her again. Jackal’s voice ebbed as the music faded, leaving Kalum alone to sustain a long and difficult note. Jackal bowed when Kalum persevered long past the end of the measure, and quiet captured the hall as Kalum held strong.

Talitha released Adam at the swell of Kalum’s sound, clapping along with a raucous eruption of applause and whistles. Kalum’s sweet, rich sound carried with power, rising in height before fading with grace.

Kalum drew back, and Jackal rejoined to close. Adam brought Talitha back into their dance but didn’t start, peering at her instead.

“I wish you’d stop saying that diseased stuff. No one here invested time, money, and energy to mistreat any of you. It’s insulting after all our effort.”

Talitha poked his chest. “You, specifically, see me as more, and that's why we’re friends. The rest of Union isn’t like you. I follow the feeds. I see reality. I can’t believe what people say when they don’t have to show their faces—”

“Fuck!” Adam cut her off with force. “Shut up about the fucking feeds!” He glared, a flush rising in his face. “You’ve spent seven years with us in Pender-Pal, and always assume the worst. Look where you are.” He gestured to the ballroom around them. “You get to act bored when the most powerful heads in Union want to take a picture with you. Poor you. Show some appreciation.”

Talitha receded. Her breath escaped in low puffs. Her eyes darted over Adam’s wrought features. He was slow to lose his temper. Always.

“Sorry.” Her voice softened, and she touched his arm. Her apology fell in a rapid stream as the reason they were there flooded back in shameful waves. “You’re stressed, and I’m complaining during your father’s hymn. All of you are right. I’m too sensitive. I try not to be. It’s not easy. So much is on my mind, and—”

“You’re on venom.” Adam interjected, stopping her rambling. Talitha saw his features relax, and he resumed his normal calm. “Ivan told me you tried new stuff before the party.”

“Yes,” Talitha agreed. Tension eased, since she didn’t have to hide her intoxication. “It’s a little much.”

“You’re not yourself in the slightest, and I’m not helping.” Adam pulled her back into the dance with a tug. “I’m also sorry. You’re struggling, and I’m better than the way I acted. Much better.”

“You’re fine.” Talitha blinked against the fleeting vertigo. The warm amber lights above them hazed into a fluid glow. “Purple’s strong. Comes and goes.” She pursed her lips. “Wish I didn’t try it.”

“Stop taking contraband,” said Adam in a flat tone. “I’m glad I stopped after one try. Don’t even touch the legal stuff.” He tapped his temple. “Head stays clear.”

You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.

“You’re right. I’ll quit.”

“I want to believe that.”

“I mean it. I'm done.”

Adam spun Talitha as the music eased to completion. “Okay.”

Their circling brought them meters from the orchestra, providing Talitha a view of the stage. Jackal stood behind Kalum, and Kalum’s sharp gaze scanned the crowd as if in search. Her attention fell on Talitha within the bustle, and their eyes locked from a distance. A smile flashed on Kalum’s face, and she lifted her hand in a wave. Talitha grinned back.

Their connection broke when Adam pulled her away to dip her low. The lengths of her hair grazed the floor as she arched back, clutching his shoulder when she glided back into his hold. They remained there without speaking for a long few seconds, his blue eyes vivid as silence resumed in the ballroom.

“Pen.” A smile crept to Talitha’s face. She snickered. “What the hell was that for?”

He shrugged. “Something you do.”

Strange voices yelled, and the media rushed them in the next instant. Recording devices hovered around them, snapping images as people clustered between them and jolted Talitha away from Adam. She squinted as rapid lights blinded her, and reporters shouted at them new speculations about their romantic future.

“Adam! Talitha!”

Talitha rubbed her eyes and turned away. “Stop!”

“You look great!” A junior columnist from Social Society shoved a voice pen at Adam. A bug circled to capture his reaction. “Pendergast and Pender-Pal—that fire’s burned for a while. Feeds have been waiting for you to make a move. Your admirers are clamoring. What a storybook pairing, you two. Please spill to your fans!”

Talitha grimaced at another flash. “We’re not—”

“So beautiful. We’re officially calling it Adam and Li-Li.” A rep from Miss Miss Magazine cut past Social Society with another voice pen. “No—Alili. Tadam. Aditha. Whatever. It’ll flood the Trendster demographic. Let’s get a group shot of you two with Jackie next to Kazrut’s daughter and the rest. Tonight’s huge.”

Adam grabbed Talitha’s wrist, yanking her through the crowd and shoving past another reporter. “This was a private moment. That song was for my father and good people that died—people who deserve fucking respect.” He roared at the man trying to enter his path. “Back off!”

“Oh.” Color drained from the reporter’s face. He stood aside to let Adam and Talitha through. “Sorry. Didn’t even think about that—”

“Of course you didn’t. Get a shot of this, mate—” Adam flicked a rude finger. “Go fuck yourself.”

The media retreated afterward. They shouted apologies while still capturing images of Adam and Talitha’s retreat. Talitha stopped the escape meters away from the dancing area and faced Adam when they were near an exit.

“Thanks. That was crazy.” She glanced at the cluster of media personnel at the far end of the ballroom. “The dance wasn’t a big deal. They should go try to catch Jackal. He’s the real story.”

“Gossip rags.” Adam rubbed the back of his neck. “They’ll take your picture precisely when you don’t want one.”

“Right.”

“I’m regretting the flick. Poor taste.”

“Don’t. They were acting like asses.” She patted him to reassure. “You came off human. No one should say otherwise.”

“Aye. But—” He rubbed his jaw. “I don’t think we look bad together. ”

“We don’t. Nothing wrong happened.” She looked back toward the stage. “We should get back. They’re sure to leave us alone after you set them straight.” She heightened in her heels to peer in the distance. “Kalum’s up there with Jackal, and Ovadia would want us to stay close. Once in a lifetime on a few levels—right?” Her grin returned as she glanced back at Adam. “Tonight was so stellar.”

Adam waved her off. “Why don’t you go on? I need a drink after that.”

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Just want to sit at the bar.”

Talitha frowned. “But you’ll miss Jackal.”

“Eh.” His gaze broke away from hers. “We’ll see him on Eve. I’m sure I’ll run into him again if he attended my mother’s fundraiser.”

“Okay.” Talitha tilted her head. “I enjoyed our dance, Pen. I’m glad you asked me, even if the wolves tried to ruin it.”

He nodded. “Sure.”

“Let’s have an ice soon to catch up, since I’ve been missing in action. We'll reconnect.”

“That’s fine.” Adam quieted, then said, “Listen, if Spencer causes trouble, let me know. He’s unhinged. You’re lucky nothing worse happened while you were with him.”

“Lucky. Nothing worse. Sure.” Talitha straightened her gown, steeling against the memories. “He’s having trouble moving on. It’s tough for me, too. We were close, and I loved him—I still do. We shared so much for so long. He was there when no one else was. Sometimes I—”

“I get it.”

“He’s over me.” Talitha’s expression fell. “All those years. Meaningless.”

“They're not meaningless. Shows the kind of person you are. Maybe he was all right once, but he’s not anymore.” Adam tucked his hands into his pockets. “You’re getting better already. I can tell.”

“I feel empty.” Talitha hugged herself. “I’m finding ways to forget. I force myself to stop worrying about him.”

“The emptiness doesn’t last, at least not this bad. Had some of that myself a while back with a girl I liked.” Adam’s gaze flickered. “I got to know her slowly, tried to make something out of it. Thought about post-graduation for a minute. It didn’t work out.”

“Oh, Adam.” Talitha gentled as she filled in what wasn’t said. “You mean Gema—”

“—I got through it. That’s what I meant.” Adam’s face darkened for a flash before he resumed his normal placidity. “Other people can help you move on. Other people like me. I’m here because I like you, Li. A lot. A…whole lot.”

“You’re right. I’ll focus on others like you. I like you too, Adam—a lot.” She warmed as she gazed at him. “I always feel good around you.”

“Great. So we like each other a lot. Stellar. That’s perfect.” He flicked his hair into place. “Anyway, if Spencer starts trouble, let me know. I want to keep an eye on him.”

Talitha snickered. “First Gracie, now Spencer. You’re fighting the world for me. I must seem pathetic.”

“Two people. Hardly the world. Don’t be dramatic.” He stepped away. “If I don’t see you again, we'll link tomorrow and figure out where to meet on Eve. Whenever you want that ice, we’ll go.”

“Sounds good.” She backed away as well. “Later, Pen.”

“Yeah. Oh, and—” He stopped her before she left. She turned back.

“What’s up?”

Adam glanced at the sea of people around them. “He didn’t show. Told you he wouldn’t. He never does.”

Talitha took a moment to process what Adam meant. She smoothed the lengths of her yellow gown. “You’re right. I won’t bring him up again. Stupid idea.”

“I’m just pointing out he didn’t show. You’re the one who cared.”

“Okay.”

“See you later.”

“Later, Adam.”

☼ ☼ ☼

Two more of Ivan’s drinks went down easy. Adam was mid-request for the third when Jonah found him at the bar among dispersing guests. Jonah slid onto the stool beside him as the telescreen flashed with new images.

Visuals of Kalum and Jackal singing in their duet changed to replays of Adam’s dramatic dip with Talitha. Adam's head dropped low as he studied the drink in front of him. Jonah watched the clip before summoning the bartender over. Adam heard the clink of another glass beside his.

“Place is noisy. Kind of depressing, innit?” Jonah rose from the stool with the fresh drink, stretching his arms. “Let’s head to the balcony and get some fresh air. Some sun will do you good.”

Adam studied Jonah. “Okay.”

“Come on.” Jonah beckoned for Adam to stand. “Be a sorry sack outside.”

“All right.”

They moved through the mingling bodies. Their silence continued until they’d exited onto the balcony's edge. Adam scanned the colorful trees planted around the theater and took a long swig of his drink. After a minute, he broke the quiet.

“Where’s Rodinsky?” he asked.

“Dealing in the lot.” Jonah nudged his jaw toward the lower levels. “Everyone’s leaving, and seeing Jackal made them feel dangerous. They want to keep feeling dangerous. He’s assisting.”

“Wonderful. So everyone’s taking that shit.”

“Life sucks, and so does this planet. Enhancements help the days pass.” Jonah glanced at Adam's gloom. “Should I ask what happened down there?”

“No.”

“That dance. You’ll have to be clever about it with Gracie.”

“No I won’t.”

“Ha.” Jonah snickered. “Well, I thought it looked successful. She stayed close when you were finished.”

“I don’t know. She was on something, so I can’t read her. Who know what she was thinking?”

“It’ll fade, and you can try again, if you want. The two of you looked good.”

“Thanks.”

They turned when the sound of clicking heels approached them from behind. Adam took another swig of his drink as a female in flowing blue walked toward them with intent. Her auburn-brown hair was tied in an elaborate high style, and she looked familiar, though Adam couldn’t place her until Jonah said her name.

“Hey, Savena.”

“Hi.” Her painted eyes settled on Adam. “I saw you guys out here. Wanted to say hello.”

“I’m glad we danced together, Sav.” Jonah smiled. “Had fun.”

“So did I.” Savena nodded at Jonah. “I had no partner at the last minute, and looked the same for you. I know you boys came stag, so I'm happy you said yes.”

“Of course I’d say yes.” He scanned her with a quick eye. “You’re gorgeous.”

“Thank you.”

“No problem.”

“You and Talitha had a lovely dance.” Savena’s attention swerved back to Adam. “I didn’t know you and Talitha were pairing. She said the exact opposite a short while ago.”

Adam prickled at Savena’s statement, the words rolling in his mind. “Did she?”

“Yeah. She’s not interested, and you’re not interested. So—”

“I’m not discussing my personal life with you.”

Savena receded at his blunt reply. “All right.”

“He’s been drinking. Can’t wait four more months.” Jonah tapped the glass in Adam’s hand, reassuring Savena. “Don’t take it personally. He’s being a dick to me, too, and he’d never be rude to a ward unless he was off. It’s a tough season. You understand.”

“Oh, no. Adam. I’m so sorry.” Savena’s hand flew to her cheek. “Want to talk about it—?”

“No.” He separated from Jonah and Savena. “I’m exhausted, actually. About to head back to the estate, pass out. But it was good to see you.”

“I’ll keep you company.”

Adam paused, glancing aside to meet Jonah’s eye. Jonah shrugged subtly. Adam took another swig. He gestured at Jonah.

“Don’t think I could keep up with you.” He yawned, illustrating how tired he was. “My mate’s up, though. He’ll be glad to tell you what’s going on, so you can understand me better. I’m too upset right now to communicate.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. It’s my dad and life and a whole bunch of shit.” His elbow knocked into Jonah. “Joe knows about it. Spend time with him. You’ve already danced together and had a good time. You’re practically a pair.”

Savena scoffed. “Please.”

“Joe’s a brother to me, so we’re practically the same person. He’s funnier, too, and better looking.” Adam backed away, pointing at Jonah. “Mate, take her out. Explain why I’m such a prick. Tell her how tortured I am.”

Jonah lit up at Adam’s prompt. He approached Savena.

“He’s been an absolute shit lately.” Jonah’s voice lowered. He looked at Adam over his shoulder as he guided Savena away. “It’s not a good idea to be around him when he’s like this. If we weren’t as close as two sprouts in a pod, I’d call him a cocksucking fuck-wagon. But I know his inner side. He’s a stuffed hare.”

Cock—Adam repeated Jonah’s insult to himself with a scoff. Didn't even make sense.

“I don’t believe that.” Savena sucked her teeth with disbelief. “A stuffed hare? Adam?”

“It’s true. Come on.” Jonah exhaled with pronounced weariness. “Can’t wait to discuss what bothers me about him. I’ll spill all his emotional secrets.”

“Okay.” Savena glanced at Adam. “Feel better, Pender.”

Adam held up his drink. “Thanks.”

He watched the pair leave, swallowing the rest of the elixir. The empty glass went to a nearby server, and after a few seconds, he walked in the opposite direction.