"Aefener, you're... crying?" Liana opens her mouth, astonished. "What's wrong?!"
"I... I don't know," I try to dry my eyes into the sleeve of my new robe, but they keep coming because my heart keeps aching. "I just feel so sad to see my people compete with each other for my attention."
I can't properly explain it, but that deep sadness seems to be coming from my Emperor's nature itself. I can put up with pretty much anything, even my non-existent freedom and lack of privacy, but this one thing I can't bear to see.
"Tell Gavreel we will be late for the morning reception," Liana quickly tells Ayala and tries to keep calm despite everyone being on the verge of panic.
I want to assure them that I'm fine, but tears keep pouring down my cheeks and I can't stop my mind from touching the Celestials in the mansion. I feel that the Japanese are confident about their gift, hoping to win me over. I sense fear from my Prague entourage that I might choose Japan in the end. And I hate it.
"Sit down, hon," Gotrid and Erik lead me back to the bedroom.
I hug them and find refuge in their loving minds. It's been a long time since they competed against one another. Ever since they fully understood how I hate it and that I really love them equally, they simply stopped. They still tease each other, but it's friendly and often downright funny. Therefore, they know what I'm going through right now and why it hurts me so much.
"I don't understand, what's wrong, Aefener?" Liana sits next to us and gently caresses my feathers. "Please, talk to me."
"This is the one thing I can't tolerate, Li," I say between silent sobs. "I can't bear to see my people divided. I can't choose between Europe and Japan, I just can't. I won't be swayed by gifts, bows and pompous gestures. I love all Celestials equally and nothing will change about that."
Liana is staring at me for several long seconds, biting her lip and thinking frantically. Then she performs an exemplary facepalm.
"We were so stupid!!!" she berates herself.
"I suggest you go explain the situation to the Japanese while we calm down our beloved," Erik says, grinding his teeth.
"Don't worry, Aefener, I'll make it right," Liana tries to smile at me encouragingly, stands up and hurries to the throne room.
"We heard you loud and clear, love, you can stop crying now," Gotrid dries my tears with a tissue. "I don't think there's a Celestial who wouldn't feel your emotional state just now. You have a way of giving us a hard lesson."
"It wasn't a very regal message. Some Emperor I am for breaking down like that," I try to stop, but I sob a few more times.
"You're the Celestial Emperor, one of a kind, stop comparing yourself," Erik tickles me under my feathers. "You getting sad will give them a much stronger message than you getting wrathful. Your kindness isn't a weakness, Ryuu, it's your strength. Only someone like you can manage a race of powerful angels with a superiority complex."
"With a ruthless Emperor, it's possible Draconians would be at war with humankind already," Gotrid seconds. "We're extremely lucky that we have you. I think even humans must have realised it."
That finally calms me down and I stop crying for good. Maybe tears are beneficial in certain situations. I don't think explaining the situation to my subjects rationally would get it across. If it tortures them to see their Emperor so saddened, hopefully, it will make them do some changes.
"Still, I'd rather face my subjects and talk about what I don't like openly," I sigh, disappointed with myself.
"Nevertheless, it's a big step forward that you didn't keep it suppressed this time," Erik praises me. "Don't feel embarrassed, you cried because you love your people so much and that's admirable."
I'm a bit uncertain about appearing in front of my subjects when every Celestial in the mansion must have felt my momentary breakdown, but my partners assure me it's going to be fine. I wash my face, Ayala fixes my hair and we're good to go.
"We're forty minutes late," I worry.
"So what," Gotrid shrugs. "You're the Emperor, love, when will you finally understand that it doesn't mean only a mountain of responsibilities, but also a ton of privileges? Nobody will even blink if you come late."
That leaves me wondering for a moment. I've always thought Liana is the workaholic among us, yet I gradually slipped into the same mode without noticing. I love my free time, but I'm not able to procrastinate anymore and I work long hours and think it's normal. At some point, I stopped considering my well-being and devoted everything to my people.
I guess it happened around the time when I finally fully accepted that I'm the Celestial Emperor. I was in denial for months and then I realised that it's not just a temporary role, but a part of who I am as much as what I am. And now I'm not able to make any distinction.
"Of course, my love," Gotrid catches what's going through my head and chuckles. "You're the embodiment of magic. You're divine."
I poke him, embarrassed. I won't deny being the embodiment of magic anymore, but that doesn't mean I will be conceited about it. I will never feel comfortable on a pedestal. Never. Being the embodiment of magic is WHAT I am but my kindness and modesty are part of WHO I am.
Still, a pedestal is waiting for me when we finally arrive at the throne room. Everybody gets absolutely quiet when I appear and stays in a deep bow until I cross the room and sit on the throne. Gotrid quickly helps me with my robe's long train of cloth and goes to sit on a cushion next to the throne with Erik. I nod at everyone so that they can sit down as well and spend a few moments analysing the atmosphere.
I don't feel any rivalrous tension anymore, only anxiety and even guiltâthey feel mortified about their actions. They made their Emperor cry which isn't something to take lightly or forget easily. It's obvious they would rather face my wrath than tears. Wrath is me disciplining them while tears mean that their Emperor is desperate.
I see Sareash sitting behind Gavreel in the second row, whispering to him. When did she disappear from my side? I didn't notice for all that crying. Did she run to him to report what she witnessed first-hand? Their wings are shaking with distress.
Liana moves from her seat into the middle of the room, right in front of me. I hate to see her kneeling. I clutch the handles of my throne to calm down. I can tell she switched her mindset just now. It's not my friend bowing in front of me, it's my Viceroy.
"Your Majesty, we beg your forgiveness," she starts. "It was stupid of us to compete for your love."
"Do you understand why?" I ask simply. I have to make it clear once and for all.
"Because you have enough love for all of us," Liana says with a hint of a smile. "Gavreel?" she calls for our Japanese liaison officer.
Gavreel stands up only to kneel next to her.
"Whether you will decide to make Japan your second residence or not, we understand now that it has nothing to do with your love towards Japanese Celestials," Gavreel states firmly.
I study everyone's feelings, hoping that they aren't saying it just to make me happy for the moment. I'm immensely relieved to discover that my outburst of sadness really opened their eyes. They realised how silly their attempts to win me over were because there was never anything to compete aboutâmy love for my people is undivided.
"We have a gift for you, my Emperor," Gavreel says solemnly. "Please, don't think that we're trying to buy your favour. We simply wish to give you something beautiful as a token of appreciation for all those things you're doing for us."
"Present your gift then," I allow because I feel that their new intentions are genuine. I can accept gifts if there are no strings attached.
I'm a bit afraid that they will give me something impractical and I will have to play polite enthusiasm, but what they bring amazes me. My jaw drops and I have to stand up and go touch it right away. I'm looking at the exact replica of my ingame Emperor armour!
"This... isn't a cosplay, right?" I ask and hope I don't sound stupid. The armour is black with gold lining and a white robe underneath. Metal parts are firm when I inspect them. Naturally, Celestials aren't strong enough to wear full-metal armour like the Dragonkin, so it's still mainly cloth, but certain strategic parts are reinforced.
"It's made of heligorr chitin, Your Majesty," Gavreel explains, grinning and overjoyed that they managed to pleasantly surprise me.
"It's gorgeous," I let out, caressing the armour. They replicated it to the last detail including the shoes. Sure, I still can't afford to get a direct hit from enemies, but it should be able to withstand some heat of a battle.
"Of course, we won't let you get hurt in the first place, Your Majesty," Gavreel adds quickly. "We just thought it would look great on you and add another layer of protection."
"I want to try it on immediately," I blurt out impatiently.
"In the afternoon, Your Majesty," Liana smiles. "When it's time for your flight, is that okay?"
"Okay," I nod, mesmerised by the gift.
"We can't wait to see you wearing it, love," Gotrid takes my hand and leads me back onto the throne.
The morning reception continues and it's much more relaxed than yesterday. Any traces of rivalry between my entourage and Japanese Celestials disappeared and the mood became elevated when the reason for the initial tension dissolved completely. I feel at ease. There's a ton of work waiting for me, but I have no doubt we can get through anything if we stand united.