They are staring at me for a very long moment, unable to speak. Erik collects himself first.
"Then I absolutely won't approve," he clicks his tongue, his eyebrows forming a huge frown. "You want to leave us behind? For real? Do you seriously consider us your weakness?"
"W-what? I don't mean it like that," I shake my head violently.
"Yes, you do," Gotrid supports Erik. "Lately, you don't fear anything. Not anymore. Your only fear is that somebody would try to hurt us."
Now it's me who is taken aback. I don't fear anything anymore? Surely, that's not true! I've always had so many fears, I'm a naturally anxious type. I'd always feared that people would find out about my telepathy, I'd feared being judged because of my androgynous appearance, I'd feared that I was too weird to find true love, I'd feared...
I try to recollect that feeling of dread that's been with me my entire life, but I get nothing. It all seems like a distant memory. I accepted my telepathy and embraced it. I have two amazing husbands. I even came to terms with my looks because Erik and Gotrid love it. I don't fear politicians anymore and Draconians are growing stronger with each passing day.
Yet, when I look at my partners, I feel uneasy. My strongest fear now is losing them. I can't bear to see them hurt because of me. They are in danger simply because they married the Celestial Emperor. If anyone wanted to attack me indirectly, they would go after them.
"Ryuuto," Erik uses my human name on purpose, "let's make two things clear once and for all. Firstly, both me and Gotrid knew well what we were getting ourselves into by becoming the Celestial Emperor's Consorts. Secondly, we're your partners, not your subjects. You have no right to command us."
"Oh... I...," I'm taken aback again.
I shiver when the revelation finally gets under my feathers. Of course, I have never considered Erik and Gotrid to be my subjects, but I guess that I tend to decide things for them when I worry about their safety. And I worry about their safety a lot.
"Sorry," I lower my head in an apology. "Would you please think about it at least? You would be safe here and you could rule in my stead."
"We're not your weakness, Aefener," Gotrid berates me harshly which is the first. "Honestly, it offends us that you think of us that way. You're upset with your subjects when they are trying to protect you too anxiously, but you're doing exactly the same thing to us, don't you understand?"
I stare at him with my mouth open wide. How come I have never noticed that my partners are gradually growing frustrated with me? Is my love towards them turning obsessive?
"Stop overthinking it," Erik rolls his eyes and pulls a few of my feathers which makes me flinch. "Yes, we are frustrated, but there's no need for any catastrophic scenarios that are going through your head right now. You lost most of your fears, but you're still an overthinker."
"It's true that we have to make lots of compromises daily," Gotrid admits. "We have to respect that you don't belong only to us which is the hardest part. We have almost no privacy or free time. We chose that, though. We don't regret anything in that regard. Still, do you know what bothers us the most?"
I shake my head. I might be the most clueless telepath ever.
"That you wouldn't hesitate to wage war for us," Erik explains, pursing his lips. "Yes, I fainted and that ideally shouldn't have happened, but Gotrid told me that you lost it. You were in full panic mode and your mana was leaking dangerously."
"W-what? It didn't!" I oppose feebly. "Nobody said anything and..."
"Only because my fainting episode shocked everyone and you got it under control quickly when Noage assured you that I'm going to be okay," Erik sighs.
"And then I asked you what you would do if somebody seriously tried to hurt us," Gotrid adds.
"Ehm... when?" I'm unsure.
"You were falling asleep so I guess I caught you off-guard," Gotrid says. "You scared me shitless when I learnt what you would do. I told Erik about it afterwards."
That haze memory finally comes to me. Sure, I was only half-conscious at that time, but I did claim, and so casually on top, that I would wage war against anyone who would dare hurt them. It wasn't a figure of speech. I meant it. I felt it. I feel it even now.
Suddenly, I get really scared. This emotion and thought process aren't Celestial. Celestial wrath is highly logical and cold. This is anything but that. This is... a Divementis emotion. My whole body starts trembling when I allow myself to feel it consciously.
It turns out that my telepathy and facial features weren't the only things I inherited from my father's side. I was suppressing it all this time, but there's no doubt about it anymoreâI do think and feel like a Divementis in certain aspects. I indeed am half-alien.
"Why do I feel this way? I don't want to," my eyes get wet. "I understand what you're saying, but I can't help myself. I would wage war for you without hesitation."
"Would you kill innocent people?" Erik tries me.
"What? N-no, never!" I shake my head, "but I would kill those who wronged you without mercy."
"Well, that's the better alternative at least," he says, relieved a bit. "Still, we don't want you to kill anyone. Do you seriously think either of us fancies a good old-fashioned revenge?"
"I... guess not," I'm half-crying at this point. "What's wrong with me?!"
"Love, you're both the Celestial Emperor and the Divementis Crown Prince," Gotrid hugs me with his wings and lets Erik join. "I'm afraid that comes with some fucked-up baggage by default as well as an insane amount of pressure. Before, your only priority was to make sure that Celestials prosper. Now, you might have another race to handle. That's way too much for one person."
"Besides," Erik dries my tears into his sleeve, "how could we leave you alone even for one night? Who knows what you might do if a telepathic craving overcomes you? Your father could try to force a handsome young Divementis man on you."
"What?" I stop crying and frown. "I would never!"
"Hon, while we don't doubt that you love us deeply to the point of obsession, we're also well aware of your polyamorous tendencies," Erik pokes me. "Who knows what a few days of telepathic craving and sexual abstinence might do to you? You might suddenly find Divementis men attractive and decide to take another Consort in the spur of the moment."
"I can go celibate for a few weeks," I puff, unsure if they are making fun of me or if they are serious.
"No, you can't," Gotrid answers with a raised eyebrow. "You can barely go two nights without making love to us and that's only when you're extremely tired or hurt. It's not that we're complaining, far from it, but you can't be left spending nights alone."
My feathers puff up with irritation, but now that I think about it... was there ever a time after the Great Evolution when I went more than two or three days without having sex with Erik and later on also Gotrid?
"There, you have your answer," Gotrid pets my feathers to flatten them. "There's no scenario in which we wouldn't accompany you."
"I'm still hesitating whether to go at all," I admit. "I might be able to persuade my father to train me here."
"I was upset because I didn't want you to trust your father too easily, but I didn't expect to talk you out of it," Erik kisses my right cheek. "If the Divementis speak the truth and your contribution could stop the rifts from opening, how could I stop you?"
"Besides, risks naturally come with the job description, silly," Gotrid kisses me from the other side, "it's not like presidents, ministers and monarchs don't take spouses just because someone could potentially target their beloved. Also, aren't we safest by your side?"
"You just want to keep an eye on me," I accuse them jokingly now that the tension is over.
"We're not hiding that," Erik chuckles. "So... should we start packing?"
"I guess," I agree. "We still have to decide how to get there, though."
"Cars are out of the question," Gotrid says. "There's no way we could handle it for three or more hours and it's not safe either."
"Our private jet is still available," Erik reminds me.
"Nah, it can't land like the Divementis shuttle so we would have to deal with a complicated transport from the Tokyo airport," I reject that idea.
"That leaves us with the Divementis offer, though," Erik clicks his tongue. "Not that I'm not curious what an alien spaceship looks like from the inside, but we'll be at their mercy."
"They wouldn't risk anything in the air," I Gotrid hopes. "We could easily crack their ship open the moment they try anything funny and easily escape while they would crash. Their telepathy might be amazing, but they don't have magic and wings."
I know that we still haven't seen everything that the Divementis can do, but I have confidence in our abilities. Celestials aren't any worse than them, I'm sure of it.