Chapter 4: CHAPTER 3

You want my opinion — no one asked your opinion

My opinion you've got

You asked for my counsel — no one asked for your thoughts

I gave you my thoughts

- Achilles Come Down, Gang Of Youths

"Hey, can I talk to you for a second?"

Just as Ellie came back upstairs after fetching herself something to drink, she encountered Quinn who awaited her at the top of the stairs.

"Uh, sure," Ellie said. She was a little surprised at the fact that Quinn wanted to talk to her. When Ellie had returned from her visit at Mister Saunders' shop, Quinn had still been gone. Only Pasta had been there to welcome her back, lazily wagging his little tail. Quinn's mother had come home almost at the same time as Ellie and shortly after, the other adults arrived. Quinn had be the last to come back, red cheeks and her skis in hand. She had ignored Ellie — and her parents — and had disappeared into her room. There, she had stayed until now.

"Is something wrong?" Ellie asked when she noticed that the blonde girl at the top of the stairs was looking a little displeased.

"I guess you could say that, yes," Quinn said, crossing her arms in front of her chest, "where were you today? And why didn't you tell me you were planning on going out?"

"I'm sorry, what?" Ellie replied completely caught off guard.

"I came home for lunch around one and you were gone," Quinn explained, "you left Pasta alone."

"Is... is this about your dog?" Ellie asked, still utterly confused.

"Pasta is fourteen years old," replied Quinn, "you can't just leave him alone for hours on end!"

"Well, how was I supposed to know that?" Ellie asked defensively. Quinn was hovering over her and still blocking the way up the stairs. Also, Ellie really did not like the way Quinn was talking to her but also did not want to provoke a fight. Still, she thought that her host's behavior was a little unjustified.

Quinn opened her mouth to answer but a voice from downstairs interrupted their conversation:

"Dinner is ready!"

Quinn groaned and walked down the stairs with her arms still crossed, squeezing past Ellie. Without thinking about it, Ellie extended an arm and grabbed Quinn's sweater by the sleeve.

"Look, I'm sorry I left Pasta all alone," Ellie said calmly and conciliatory and took a step towards the taller girl, "I didn't know, okay? I'm really sorry."

"Whatever," Quinn just shook her guest off and ran down the stairs. Ellie sighed and followed slowly, not taking her eyes off her glass of water.

In the kitchen, Quinn's mom had cooked some chicken and vegetables for everyone. Ellie went over to her own parents who were sitting on the couch, looking at some plants and other nature-objects they had spread out on the coffee table.

"Oh, is this what you collected today?" Ellie asked and carefully picked up a pine cone.

"Yes, these are some of the things we found," said her dad, "but let's look at that later, dinner is ready."

Ellie nodded and followed her parents back to the table, sitting down on the same seat she had already sat in yesterday. However, the situation was now a little awkward since every time Ellie looked up from her plate, she was looking directly at Quinn. The other seemed rather icy; she did not meet Ellie's gaze a single time and stared at her plate throughout the whole meal.

Her parents tried to get her to engage in the conversation but Quinn stayed silent except for short answers to questions and a request for a bottle of water.

"It was very delicious," Helen complimented his colleague and leaned back in his chair, "absolutely magnificent."

"Thank you, I appreciate the compliment," Janet smiled, "shall we take a look at what you collected today? I'd love to see all the photos you took!"

"Sure!"

They all got up from the dining, collectively cleaning up the table and carrying the dishes to the kitchen. The adults went over to the couch to take a look at the plants and pictures and Ellie followed them, curious to see what her parents' had collected today. Quinn, however, stayed in the kitchen and fed Pasta before leaning against the counter, waiting for him to finish his dinner.

"Quinn, why don't you come and join us?" Quinn's mom asked her in a friendly way, "The others took great pictures today, come take a look!"

"Thanks, but I'd rather not," Quinn replied, shooting Ellie a displeased look when her mom was not looking anymore. As soon as Pasta had eaten up, she carried him to the front door and gently clothed him in his little jacket before quickly getting dressed herself.

"We're outside," Quinn informed her parents, marching towards the back porch and leaving the house through the big glass door. Ellie could not shake off the feeling that Quinn had left because of her.

She tried to focus on the pictures in front of her and all the information the two adult men were sharing but she found herself turning around and glancing at the patio multiple times. Quinn had quickly disappeared into the dark and the light from inside the house was reflecting in the windows which made it almost impossible to see what was going on outside. Perhaps she could try and talk to Quinn again. Sure, she still thought the other girl had been a bit rude earlier but she could also see where her host was coming from. The pretty girl obviously deeply cared for her little dog and it was understandable that she had gotten a bit angry. But if Ellie went and talked to her about it, they could surely sort it out. Ellie could apologize and then ask for Quinn to tell her more about Pasta so she would know what he needed and then they could maybe talk about some other things.

"Um..." Ellie said, "I think I'm going to go for a little after-dinner walk."

Her and Quinn's parents looked at her in surprise.

"Are you sure? It's already dark outside," her dad said, looking out of the window.

"Yeah, I'll be fine," Ellie replied and stood up.

"Would you like one of us to come with you?" Janet offered, "We don't want you to get lost."

"Thank you but no," Ellie politely declined, "I won't be away for long nor go that far."

"Please take your phone with you anyway," Ellie's mom said calmly but sternly, indicating that she would not take any backtalk. Ellie rolled her eyes but obeyed nonetheless, quickly retrieving her phone from her room and then putting on shoes and a jacket for outside. Completed with a hat and gloves, she finally left the house through the backdoor just like Quinn had done and looked around for the other girl.

Since the house was build halfway up the mountain, the porch was directly above the garage below, wooden stairs connecting the two levels. Two types of foot prints — one from big boots and the other from tiny paws — led through the smooth snow towards the stairs and then down them. Ellie followed Quinn's tracks, her own feet sinking into the snow with a crunching sound. Clinging onto the handrail, Ellie slowly stumbled down the stairs, trying not to slip and fall. She got closer to the ground step by step, getting more confident and finally daring to look up from where her gaze had been fixated on her feet.

Some light from the living room above her illuminated the ground, reflecting in the snow and helping her see. Just a few feet in front of her, the now dark mountains towered over the small village, looking as though they were one with the black sky. Just then, Ellie spotted a figure at the bottom of the hill the house was standing on, slowly making its way towards the mountains. From the clothing (and the smaller creature next to the silhouette) Ellie recognized Quinn and began following the girl. Her host had not gotten very far.

Ellie almost slipped a few times, barely avoiding sliding down the hill on her backside. When Quinn heard the — rather loud — footsteps behind her she paused and turned around, waiting for Ellie to catch up with her. Ellie took that as a good sign and quickened her pace so that Quinn would't have to wait for too long.

"Jeez, how far did you plan on going?" Ellie asked when she finally came to a stop next to her host and turned around to look at the house — which was relatively far away, "I think I'd get lost if I went any further."

"Well, I know my way around here," Quinn replied coldly, "why did you follow me in the first place?"

"I wanted to apologize," Ellie replied, remembering the reason for her late-night walk, "I really didn't know that Pasta shouldn't be left alone. If I'd known that, I would've never left."

When Quinn did not say anything, Ellie hurriedly continued:

"I thought maybe you could tell me more about Pasta," Ellie asked shyly, "you know, what I shouldn't do so I don't make any more mistakes. And if you're okay with that, I could even take him with me when you're out skiing and I'm going out again to explore the village — because that's what I was doing today."

Ellie had gotten progressively quieter while explaining herself and looked at Quinn, feeling anxious as she awaited the other girl's answer.

"Don't bother," Quinn finally said, her voice biting, "you don't have to suck up to me."

"That's not what I'm trying to do!" Ellie said composedly, "I know you're probably angry at me because I left Pasta alone but all I'm trying to do is make peace and get along with you."

"Well, then have fun trying and failing." For the first time during their conversation, Quinn looked Ellie right in the eyes, "I didn't ask for you to come here and live in our house, eat our food and mistreat my dog."

"I didn't mistreat him!"

"No, right, you didn't treat him at all. It's a shame you won't leave until march," Quinn rolled her eyes, scooped up a slightly shivering Pasta with one arm and stormed off towards the house, leaving a confused Ellie behind.

"That didn't go according to plan..." she muttered to herself. Quinn quickly disappeared in the dark but the lights of the house made it easy for Ellie to find her way back. Her mood was at an all time low, though. Why was Quinn so rude to her? What had she done wrong, apart from not caring for a dog she did not even know, apparently?

Ellie sighed as she arrived at the bottom of the hill. Going uphill was always so exhausting. Slowly, she followed in Quinn's footsteps and made her way up to the hill, panting and thinking negative thoughts about her stay in Canada. Ellie had not been to keen on coming here from the beginning, only agreeing so that her parents would stop complaining already. Their ongoing lectures about how she was lazy and shouldn't have left college had been more than just a little annoying and the only way to make them shut up about how Ellie would not get far in life like this had been this trip.

But now she was confronted with a host who did not like her without any hope of making other friends or finding interesting ways to spend her time. Ellie tried to look a little more friendly as she approached the house and climbed up the same stairs she had walked down minutes earlier. The glass doors to the living room were closed but as soon and they noticed her, one of the adults got up to let Ellie in.

"Here, come in and give me your shoes," Janet said and placed a doormat in front of Ellie so she would not get the wooden floorboards dirty, "Quinn came back just minutes before you did and told me she didn't see you outside — you must've missed each other by seconds."

Confused as to why Quinn would lie so deliberately, Ellie just nodded and took off her shoes and jacket which Janet both carried back to the front door.

"We just finished telling Janet all about what we collected today," Ellie's dad chimed in and waved her daughter over, "would you like a private presentation?"

"No, maybe tomorrow..." Ellie really did not feel like looking at plants and pictures for another hour but still went over to the couch. She knew her father would be hurt if she did not show any interest in his work so she carefully picked up a small red twig.

"What's this?"

"Red-Twig Dogwood," her father explained, taking the stick from Ellie to prevent her from breaking it, "we found some at the foot of the mountains — they're called the 'Pine Twins', by the way, did you know that?"

"No, I didn't," Ellie fake yawned and stretched, looking at the clock on the wall, "I think I'll go upstairs now, maybe read a little."

"Would you like a cup of tea before you go?" Janet said, "I think Quinn wanted to watch a movie on Netflix, I'm sure you can join her if you'd like."

"No thanks."

Ellie was not so sure Quinn would enjoy watching a movie together but she certainly would not be the one to confess that they were not getting along. With a last smile towards the four adults, Ellie went upstairs and directly into her room. She could hear Quinn shower in the bathroom, the distant sound of water and not-so quiet music could be heard though the wooden wall.

It was dark in Ellie's room and she did not bother turning on the lights, instead making her way through the darkness and flopping down on her bed face-down. She remained like that for several minutes, mind and body feeling empty except for a sinking feeling of disappointment and loneliness. She was not exactly angry at Quinn because that would imply that she disagreed with her host on something. But since Ellie did not even know Quinn's motivations, let alone understand them, there was not really anything to be angry about.

Ellie just wished things were different.

She had not dared hope to become best friends with Quinn — she had never even met the girl — but it would have been nice to have at least one person to spend time with. But what did she expect? Of course Quinn, who had grown up surrounded by snowy mountains and wide-stretching woods, who had probably spent the majority of her life outside, was not too keen on spending time with Ellie, a girl from America who did not even know how to ski.

But, Ellie thought bitterly, Quinn could also have been a little nicer. If it had been the other way around and Quinn's family had visited Ellie's parents' in the US, Ellie would have maybe shown Quinn around. Then again, Jacksonville was significantly bigger than Frostfields and Elli and Quinn were obviously very different.

Ellie sighed again and sat up. From her position on the bed, she could look through the window and since the curtains were drawn back, the front yard and Mister Saunders' shop, as well as his residence were visible in the dark. While the latter stood black and dark against the night sky, the lights in the shop were still on, casting golden patterns on the snow that had fallen from the roof. Ellie could see the shadow of the antique shop's owner walking around between his treasures, sometimes stopping or bending down before continuing with his nightly expedition.

It was oddly calming to observe Mister Saunders, even though Ellie felt a little bit like an anonymous intruder to his peace and quiet.

A few minutes passed before the windows of the shop went dark and soon after, Mister Saunders opened the door. He locked it behind himself before making his way over to his house, a flashlight lighting his path. Ellie watched as the second door closed behind him and then lights were switched on and off for a little while as Mister Saunders went from one room to the other. Finally, the house went completely dark except for the blueish light of a TV in one of the rooms on the first level.

When it was clear that nothing more would happen, Ellie got up and stood in front of the window. From this perspective, she could actually see the street that led through the village if she turned her head slightly to the right. Left and right to it were houses, some entirely dark, some still with windows lit in blue or yellow.

All of them were too far away to catch a glimpse of their inhabitants but here and there, Ellie spotted some movement: a curtain being pulled close, shutters being lowered, lights being switched off, the flickering of a TV reflecting in the window.

The familiar laugh of her mom downstairs interrupted Ellie's thoughts and reminded her that she was, in fact, not all alone in the house. With a quick motion, she grabbed the dark curtains and pulled them close, hiding the village behind heavy fabric. She stumbled through the dark towards the door to turn the light on, having to close her eyes for a second when everything went bright.

When suddenly another door opened and light shone into the dark hallway, Ellie quickly shut her door that had previously stood ajar. She heard Quinn go down the stairs, accompanied by the music she played on her speaker. "Cool Kids" by Echosmith echoed through the hallway:

"I wish that I could be like the cool kids, 'cause all the cool kids, they seem to fit in."

Ironic, was not it? Quinn being the one to play a song about feeling out of place and like an outsider. Not wanting to hear anything from anyone else present at the moment, Ellie decided to listen to some music herself. She connected her headphones to her laptop and laid down on her bed again, this time on her back.

As her favorite music filled her ears, Ellie's mind drifted back to the girl that was probably sitting in the room at the other end of the hallway. Ellie had never had been in an active quarrel with someone else before and she despised miscommunication. Generally, she either avoided fights or tried sorting them out afterwards and so far, nobody had ever refused to have an open conversation with her. Perhaps she had a talent for solving disagreements as most of her friends also often consulted her with their problems. She found it easy to empathize with others — which sometimes caused her to respect their feelings more than her own.

Because of this, it was not long until she tried to wrap her mind around Quinn's behavior again. The other girl had to have a reason for her behavior! Ellie was determined to make peace with her since the constant negativity she gave off when it came to Ellie disturbed the latter's need for harmony. Quinn did not have to like her or be friends with her, Ellie just wanted peace and politeness.

That was it! Maybe Quinn felt obligated to befriend Ellie and — for whatever reason there was — her rebellion was a dislike of her assigned task rather than a dislike of Ellie. Ellie knew that if it had been the other way around, her parents' would have been the first to advise Ellie to be nice to Quinn and help her arrive and if the Canadian's parents acted the same way, they had likely told their daughter something similar.

If Ellie sought out another conversation with Quinn to tell her that they did not have to be friends and Quinn did not have to feel obligated to take Ellie with her, it would perhaps relieve some of the tension. They could both go on with their lives and achieve a friendly coexistence rather than a forced friendship neither of them really wanted.

Newly motivated, Ellie decided to wait a day or two, until everyone's temper would be calm again and they had lots of time to have an honest conversation. Satisfied with her plan, she turned off the music to go brush her teeth and then read until it was time for bed.

_____

Okay so I started posting on my TikTok account to advertise my book but nobody really saw it yet 🥲