All the things she said
All the things she said
Running through my head
Running through my head
Running through my head
- All the things she said, t.A.T.u
"Hello!"
When Ellie turned up at the café the next morning, she did not bring Pasta with her. That morning, Quinn had announced that she would take him with her to Lone Pine where she was supposed to meet Dash. Apparently, the two of them wanted to spend the day together at his place. Of course, Quinn had not told this to Ellie, she barely even looked at her the entire morning. But while Dan and Philip had gone out to collect more plants, their wives had stayed behind, chatting at the kitchen table. Ellie had joined them, listening to their conversation and sometimes chiming in as she had munched on her cereal. Strangely enough, Quinn had gotten up after her this morning, coming down the stairs when Ellie was already halfway finished. She had eaten her toast standing at the counter, loudly proclaiming what she was about to do that day. Ellie had ignored her.
"Hi there!" Jodie opened the door for Ellie and let her into the café, "Back to work again?"
"Yes," Ellie sheepishly rubbed her neck and then started to peel out of her jacket, "I really enjoyed helping you out yesterday and at home, I'd just be alone all day so it was an easy decision."
"Well, I feel honored that you'd rather work with me than have a relaxing day to yourself," Jodie chuckled, "I didn't have time to set the tables yet, would you maybe do that?"
"Sure!" Ellie took the tag from Jodie's hand, pinning it to her chest again and then started to fill the mugs on the tables with serviettes. Jodie was cleaning some glasses, occasionally going into the kitchen to look at the cakes she had in the oven. There was a delicious smell wafting through the room, of cake and coffee and Ellie inhaled deeply a few times.
"You're staying with the Reynolds', right?" Jodie asked all of a sudden and waited until Ellie nodded, "Don't they have a daughter your age? Why aren't you spending time with her?"
"Um..." Ellie arranged the mugs on the table she was working on without meeting Jodie's eyes, her cheeks turning red, "Quinn and I don't really... we don't really get along."
"Oh, what's the problem between the two of you?" Asked Jodie, "I've only met her once or twice but she seemed like a nice girl â and I'd say the same about you, so...?"
"Thanks," Ellie got even redder in the face, "I don't really know to be honest. She seemed to hate me from the minute she met me. We've kind of been ignoring each other for the past weeks but it's still weird."
Jodie put two and two together.
"Is that why you came here yesterday?" She asked, "You didn't want to spend all day with her?"
"Kind of," Ellie admitted, "she skis the whole day and I... I don't want to be around her too much so I go out a lot as well. I think she's annoyed by my presence."
"Well, I certainly am not," Jodie smiled at Ellie, "so if you'd rather spend all day here at the café, you can always come over."
"Thank you," Ellie returned the smile and brought the leftover cloths back to the table, "I always have to be back before her, though. She doesn't like when I leave her dog alone â or when I take him with me, for that matter."
"She seems to care about him a lot."
"She does," Ellie sighed, "about two weeks ago, on my second day here, she snapped at me because I went on a walk and left him at home."
"I'm sure she'll come around," Jodie reassured Ellie, leaning against the counter and running a hand through her short hand, "maybe she's just not used to having someone else around all the time."
"That's what I thought as well," Ellie said, "I'm okay with peaceful coexistence and for now, us ignoring each other is probably the closest we'll get to that."
Jodie chuckled a little.
"Give her time," she said, "or you can invite her to the café."
"I'm not sure she'd like that," Ellie replied with a frown and turned around to look at the different cakes for today. She had always been a bad liar and did not want Jodie to see. Truth was, Quinn would not only 'not like that', she would outright hate it. For one, because she hated Ellie. If she suggested going to the café together â going anywhere together, really â Quinn would probably snap at her for even daring to suggest such a thing. If she already hated staying in the same house as Ellie, spending a whole day together would probably seem like the ultimate worst to her.
Secondly, Ellie was still a little suspicious of Quinn and her supposed homophobia. Of course, she was not able to prove anything and Jodie also had not outright said that Quinn and her family were some of the people who disliked the café because of Jodie's sexuality but it was the only reason for Quinn's behavior Ellie could think of. She did not yet have any guess as to how her host could have found out about Ellie's sexuality and so far, it was little more than a suspicion that kept creeping back into her mind. Still, Ellie found herself going through all kinds of different scenarios to find out whether or not Quinn really thought that way. Considering that they had not even been in the same room for three days, none of her plans were very likely to work.
"Good morning!" Ellie pushed open the doors of the café joyfully. She quickly closed the door to block out the wind and took off her beanie, shaking the snow out of her curly hair. Today was a windy day, icy snowflakes tumbling through the air almost horizontally and hitting the windows of the café.
"Oh, you startled me! Would you mind taking off your shoes?" Jodie said and turned around, grinning at Ellie. She had been mopping the floor up until now and the floor was still visibly wet.
"Sure, no problem," Ellie slid out of her boots, taking them in one hand, "where can I put them?"
"Just behind the counter, the floor over there should have dried by now," Jodie replied, "how come you're so early today?"
"Oh..." Ellie shrugged and tiptoed over to the bar, "nothing really. It's just that Quinn was in the living room, looking at me as if I was a pile of dog-dirt while I was eating breakfast and I wanted to get out of there as fast as possible."
"Still no change?" Jodie asked sympathetically and Ellie shook her head.
"Not at all... â anyway, what can I help you with?"
"If you want to, you could go into the kitchen and take the tray with the butter tarts out of the oven."
Ellie nodded and went into the kitchen. She gathered some thick oven gloves and looked at the contents of the big oven through the brown glass in its door.
"Are you sure they're done yet?" She asked.
"I don't know, I haven't looked at them," Jodie appeared next to Ellie and looked into the oven as well, "yes, they're perfect."
She took the oven gloves from Ellie and swiftly took out the tray, setting it on the kitchen counter.
"How can you tell that they're done just from looking at them?" Ellie asked in astonishment and eyed the butter tarts suspiciously. To her, they just looked like regular butter tarts â and Jodie had not even put on a timer.
"If the crust looks golden and the filling is bubbling a little, you can take them out," Jodie explained, "it's just one of those things you learn as you practice. When I first started making them, I used to take them out too early."
"I wish I was as good at baking as you are," Ellie said ungrudgingly, taking in the smell of the butter tarts, "they smell awesome â as always."
"My mother taught me how to bake," Jodie said, getting some of her other cakes and tarts ready, "we used to always bake a cake for the family on Saturdays."
"That's nice," Ellie replied and, without thinking about it, added: "My mom never taught me how to bake."
"Well, would you like to learn it?" Jodie asked, motioning to the counter, "I've got everything we'll need right here already."
"I'm not sure I'll be good at that," Ellie said insecurely, even though she quite liked the thought of learning how to bake.
"We don't have to start with making butter tarts," Jodie chuckled, "we can go easy â maybe some brownies or cookies? Something simple to start with."
"Okay," Ellie agreed with a shy smile, "I'm in."
"Great!" Jodie clapped her hands together and beamed at Ellie, "What would you like to make?"
"Um... maybe some brownies? The ones you made a couple of days ago were really awesome."
"Alright, no problem," said Jodie, "I'll just put away those butter tarts and you can get two eggs and the butter from the fridge."
Ellie nodded and went to retrieve said items but hesitated and turned around once more.
"It's not that my parents don't love me," she said because she felt like she had to defend them a little, "they do, I know they do."
"I never doubted that," Jodie gave her a motherly smile.
"Oh..." Ellie was caught a little off guard by this but continued rambling anyway, "well that's good. Because my parents are great. It's just... we never did those kinds of things â you know, like baking together or playing boardgames on the weekends. They were always more interested in my academical success â encouraging me to read or study or going to a museum with me. But they always meant well."
"You know," Jodie said, leaned against the counter and made eye contact with Ellie, "I don't know your parents and I don't want to talk badly about them, but I do want to give you some advice: just because someone means well, doesn't mean they did the right thing. And you don't have to be grateful for something you disagree with just because it was done out of love, okay?"
Ellie nodded and smiled weakly. Jodie hugged her briefly and then gave her a big smile.
"Okay, shall we get started with the brownies now?"
The recipe she had picked out for them was indeed an easy one and Ellie found herself really enjoying baking. She got an apron from Jodie so that her sweater would not get all dirty and the older woman also turned on the radio. Soon enough, the brownies were in the oven, emitting the delicious smell of chocolate and dough. Ellie wiped some flour off of her cheek and brushed the folds out of her apron.
"That was fun!" She exclaimed, "Thank you so much for teaching me, Jodie."
"You're welcome," Jodie smiled at her, "but wait until you taste them, that's always the best part of baking."
"I can't eat everything I make," Ellie said, "I got to watch my figure. And actually, I do want to get in shape."
"In shape?" Jodie asked, "What shape, a triangle?"
"You know what I mean," Ellie said a little grumpily, even though she could not help but chuckle at that stupid joke.
"I do," replied Jodie, "but I don't understand why."
"Isn't that obvious?" Ellie said, getting uncomfortable talking about her body, "My BMI is 24."
"First of all, your BMI means absolutely nothing," Jodie said, "a very muscular person could have a higher one than someone who's the same height but only eats junk food. The BMI can be an indicator but it doesn't give you any information on how healthy you are. Also secondly, you look perfectly fine to me."
"Thank you," Ellie turned red and dropped her gaze to the floor, "I mean, I know that I shouldn't care about all this and that it's also partly due to genetics and stuff but... sometimes I wish I were skinny."
"And there's probably a skinny girl out there somewhere wishing she could gain weight to look like you," Jodie replied, "you're a beautiful girl with a beautiful figure. Besides, there's no such thing as a perfect body."
"Quinn's got a perfect body," Ellie blurted out, "she's tall and slim. I'm short and chubby."
"And I'm tall and chubby," Jodie shrugged, "those things literally do not matter. I love myself regardless of how much I weigh â and my girlfriend doesn't care about it, either."
No matter how sulky Ellie felt, she had to smile because of that last sentence. She had not yet met Jodie's girlfriend Liana (sometimes they missed each other by mere minutes) but every time Jodie talked about her, her eyes lit up and she seemed even happier than usually.
And she was probably right: Ellie's ex-girlfriend had not cared about weight either. It was just something she struggled with on her own and seeing how her ex's new girlfriend was so much thinner than Ellie, it made her think that maybe her ex did care after all. It was ridiculous, she knew that, but sometimes she could not help but fall back into old patterns of thinking.
"Sorry," she muttered, "I don't know why I get like this sometimes."
"Don't apologize, silly," Jodie replied with a smile, "self love is a journey, it takes time. And it's okay not to fully be there yet. Now, shall we take a look at those brownies?"
"Sure!"