Xiao Zhan's breath hitched when he heard a very familiar tune while mindlessly listening to the night-time radio.
Wuji.
It's been quite a long time since he last heard this song, let alone sang this theme song for the infamous drama. He closed his eyes while humming along the song and sank further into the car seat. The day had been exhaustingly long and busy, and he was entirely drained of energy. His overpacked schedule certainly did not help with his fatigue. His mind went over the nostalgia that came with the song.
It had been over 4 years since the filming of The Untamed. It wasn't that he was a nobody; he was already a celebrity and singer-idol before starring in it. The drama, however, catapulted him to his worldwide fame and his popularity shot up ridiculously to a level that he had never even imagined as a rookie actor. His life changed tremendously in both positive and negative light. He was praised for his portrayal of Wei Wuxian, and he gained millions of fans and followers when the live-action series was aired.
There was no denying that it was also the darkest moment of his life soon after when a controversy happened. A tragic tragedy even, in which, he was chastised, rebuked, blamed, and condemned due to something that was not even his own doing or his fault. For the depressing few months, he almost lost it all. Career, money, friends and fans. His good name was smeared, and he had to disappear from public eyes for months. He felt betrayed by some of those who claimed to be his fans and his heart was broken by those few who claimed to be his friends but chose to leave him in despair.
He felt like he was thrown off the cliff and the irony was, at that point in life, he felt very much like the character that he played. Wei Wuxian. The very character that brought him to the limelight and the very character that dragged him to the abyss of doom.
Thankfully, that chapter in his life was over. Regardless, it wasn't easy to get over the feeling of betrayal and the trauma of being publicly humiliated and scorned. Up until now, he is still very careful about how he behaves, knowing well that his every move is scrutinized down to the minuscule details. He kept his private life strictly hidden and kept it closed from the world's prying eyes.
As for his famous co-star in that drama, they still keep in touch with each other albeit in secret. Are they close now? He wondered. If he has to be honest, he felt a little conflicted on that matter. They sure were very close and almost adjoined to the hips during those months of filming. They were awkward with each other at first, but once the ice was broken, they instantly clicked and enjoyed each other company. They bickered, teased, and even hit one another like how a pair of growing teenage boys would. They were the unhinged, chaotic duo that kept the set alive with their shenanigans. The whole filming crew soon got used to their hyperactive childish menaces and mischief and let them be, well, them.
There were times when they even threw some casual flirtatious acts at each other but most of the time, he would brush it off as internal jokes among the two of them. Both of them were well aware that the drama was based on a Danmei novel and although plenty of scenes and storylines were changed and adjusted to suit the strict censorship, it still heavily hinted at a controversial (b)romance. Homosexuality is still a taboo topic after all. In this country, at least. Although, personally, Xiao Zhan always believes that love knows no gender. But, he never really had time to indulge in romantic relationships after he took a leap into the entertainment world.
Did he ever read the novel? Of course, he did. As an actor, he needed to do his own research to understand the character better in order to portray his version of Wei Wuxian as close to the original characterization as he could. He even made notes on his little habits and subconscious actions, likes and dislikes, and the thought process of the Yiling Patriarch. One could say he was well-versed in Wei Wuxian's biography by the end of his repeat readings. As he learned about the protagonist, he genuinely empathized with what Wei Wuxian had to go through in his life. He also ended up being really touched by Lan Wangji's love for Wei Wuxian. The kind of devotion and love that the male lead was giving, honestly left him in a deep pit of a hard crush for that Second Jade of Gusu Lan.
The character bleed that he was having, stirred something in him. He could not deny that sometimes (a lot of times, if he was entirely honest), his heart skipped a beat or two or secretly blushed at Wang Yibo's frisky words and coquettish gestures. Who wouldn't? Wang Yibo is a freaking heartthrob who was blessed with a lot of handsomeness and charms that would sway both women and men alike. When the man flirted, there were butterflies in his stomach that flew upwards and tugged on his heartstrings. It was also hard to pretend that he didn't notice the intense long stares that the younger man gave even outside the acting scenes. That made him utterly confused with his own feelings for his co-star and the ambiguity between them continued until today.
At the current time, apart from occasional texts or video calls, they barely have time to meet each other in person and when they do, they are extra careful about it. Publicly, the two of them avoided being in the same proximities or the same events if possible. They made zero contact with each other if they were in the same venue and pretended that they did not know each other. Why? Simply because he did not want to cause any issue, especially one that would cause damage to Wang Yibo's reputation. This was due to the fact that, during the controversial incident, Wang Yibo's name was also implicated unfairly and Xiao Zhan refused to have his good friend's name to be tainted or dragged in his mishaps. It took him a lot of persuasion to dissuade Wang Yibo from speaking out for him or voicing his opinions on the matter. Given Wang Yibo's outright straightforward personality, he was adamant to do something at first but finally gave up on the idea after Xiao Zhan's insistence.
For Xiao Zhan, Wang Yibo's constant support in private was enough for him and this thought remained the same until the present day. It is for both of their sakes.
Oh well, that was a lot of reminiscing, Xiao Zhan thought.
A smile graced his lips as he closed his eyes. He slowly slipped into a dream.