(Lan Wangji's POV)
******
Wei Ying.
Avoid making the same mistake of the past. Trust each other.
Live with no regrets.
Lan Wangji did not know what exactly the burning feeling gnawing into his heart and soul was. He washed his face with the cold, icy water again. He had never had anyone so close to him before. Therefore, he did not know if this was normal.
Is this friendship? Or is this something more? Love?
It was different from the kind of love that he held for his brother. His mother passed away when he was still very young. Those once-a-month visits were his best memories of his mother and the only small fractions of parental love that he ever had. Love was not something he received from the man who had been in seclusion for the fifteen years of his life; he barely saw the man called his father. His uncle was not one to show love and rather harbored intense dislikes toward the word itself because it was the very thing that had turned his father into what he was right now.
Was he so different from others that I had known?
All this while, Lan Wangji was self-sufficient, gratified by his independence, and alone but not lonely. Or so he thought. Then Wei Ying came and made him question his perspectives and beliefs in life persistently. Deep down, he realized that he was restless, searching blindly for something to fill an empty place he didn't even know he had, dimly aware that he was somehow incomplete.
What qualities did he have that were his alone?
These past weeks, he spent most of his waking hours daily around Wei Ying, and he always looked forward to the day to come. Wei Ying was brilliant and intelligent, someone who just seemed to be good at everything. He was highly capable, powerful, and competent. He was bold and had an awe-inspiring approach to everything. Before he met the free-spirited and spontaneous person, his life was just black and white. Now, he could see the colors of the rainbow, which he never noticed existed before. The world he once lived in was always cold and frosty, but the person made him feel warm inside. It was like being let into the warmth after a lifetime of winter.
What could it be that made me feel lost whenever we were to part?
He never thought that he could spend each precious minute with just one special person. That person filled everything, every space, every need, even the secret dreams Lan Wangji had concealed from himself. He had learned so much from Wei Ying. He knew that if he had not met him, he would not be truly living.
Why did the sight of him fill my heart with pleasure?
Wei Ying is the most beautiful person he has ever met. The way his dazzling silvery-gray eyes glisten in the light mesmerizes him. The striking eyes stand out from the crowd and immediately catch his attention at all times. He loves to see the radiant smile that is as bright as the sun. So, he learns how to smile back at the person.
What was it about him that made me feel weak that I want to get stronger?
Ever since he dreamed about him and watched him fall off the cliff, he felt his heart was in constant turmoil and ached. That made him want to protect the person, shield him from any harm that might come, and save him from the misery that might befall him.
Why do I strangely want him only for myself? Why did the mention of others' names from his lips bother me? Is this what it feels like to like someone?
Lan Wangji found himself becoming unreasonably jealous and possessive when it came to Wei Ying. He became overly protective of him, especially after the Cold Cave dream, when their hands were joined with his forehead ribbon. The bond they forged was witnessed and approved by an ancestor, which could only mean one thing: a sacred union.
Is this how loving someone feels like?
Last night's dream made him realize he is in love with a person named Wei Ying. It was the dawning of the person he is today, the person he was destined to be. Wei Ying is the greatest treasure of his life, the one and only one.
Who am I to Wei Ying?
No, it does not matter now.
Despite this, he knew that Wei Ying likely did not share the same feelings as him, and he never intended to force his own selfish love onto Wei Wuxian. Even if his love would not be reciprocated, he would give up anything in the world for Wei Ying; he would do anything to keep him safe. Even if it meant he had to go against the whole world, he would live without regrets.
As long as Wei Ying is happy.
Having finally sorted out his thoughts and come to peace with the conclusion, Lan Wangji stepped out of the icy water of the cold spring and donned his robes. He would see Wei Ying in a couple of hours, and they would meet his brother that day. In the meantime, as he accepted his newly defined feelings, he poured his soul into the guqin that shared his own name, letting the musical instrument speak for him.
He had a promise to keep.
*****
When Lan Xichen saw both his brother and Xiao Zhan at the entrance of the personal space, his smile grew brighter. The pair bowed in synchronization. Lan Wangji respectfully greeted, "Brother, have you been well?"
Xiao Zhan said, "Zewu-Jun, I hope you are well."
"I am well," Lan Xichen replied in a joyful tone. "Young Master Wei, I hope the punishment Uncle gave you wasn't too harsh on you."
"It would be a lie if I said it wasn't harsh, Zewu-Jun." Xiao Zhan replied jokingly. "I nearly died of boredom."
Lan Xichen shook his head at his witty comeback and chuckled softly. Directing his gaze at his brother, he noted, "Wangji, you seem to be in good spirits."
"..."
From most people's point of view, Lan Wangji's face was pretty much as deadpan as usual.
Xiao Zhan stole a glance at the person beside him and commented in an undertone, "Hmm, he does look happier today."
Lan Xichen raised his eyebrows at the intriguing remark. It was the first time that someone other than him could interpret the very subtle change in his younger sibling's facial muscles. He then asked, "What brings you two here?"
"Brother, we have an urgent matter to discuss." Lan Wangji ignored the casual note about him and answered straight to the point. Seeing how serious his brother was, Lan Xichen invited them to take a seat in front of him and discuss the topic over tea.
"What is the matter? Does it require my blessing?" Lan Xichen casually said while sipping his tea.
"W-what?" Xiao Zhan almost choked on his tea and a tiny bit of the hot liquid entered the wrong tract. He coughed harshly.
"Brother!" Lan Wangji looked sharply at his brother before turning his attention to his coughing companion. "Are you all right?"
Xiao Zhan lifted his head slowly and stared at the First Jade in disbelief as he wiped his mouth.
"We have an urgent matter." Lan Wangji reminded him of the main topic and stressed the word 'urgent'.
To keep Lan Wangji's older brother focused, Xiao Zhan switched to his professional business mode in one second. His tone no longer carried the voice of a teenager. "Zewu-Jun, we would like to ask your permission to go on a night hunt."
Lan Xichen automatically sat upright as if he felt obliged to honor the sudden change in the atmosphere. "Are there any specific reasons for this request?
Xiao Zhan stated solemnly, "For starters, you are the person in charge of night hunts, Zewu-Jun. I think you already know that both of us have been training together for the past few weeks. We have reached a plateau, and the only way to break through to the next level is to practice on real targets."
Lan Xichen steepled his fingers. "Young Master Wei, your current cultivation level has already surpassed your peers, with the exception of Wangji, of course."If you may, please enlighten me on your inclination to get stronger."
"Brother, it is about the prophetic dream," Lan Wangji interjected from the side.
Xiao Zhan's eyes widened at the statement; he knew Lan Wangji would sometimes confide in his brother about his worries, but he did not expect him to talk about the dream. He blurted out, "Did you tell your brother about the cold cave? Like the entire thing? Master Lan Yi, the forehead ribbon, and all?"
Quick to catch the details, Lan Xichen tilted his head to one side and probed, "What about the ribbon, Young Master Wei?"
Shit! This mouth of mine! Did I just dig my own grave?
Lan Wangji replied on his behalf, "Wei Ying and I had the same dream."
Lan Xichen looked at the two faces in front of him and took a moment of silence to think about the implications of the statement thoroughly. After a while, he deduced, "That means both of you are serious about the certainty of an impending war. Hence, the reason for wanting to improve your strength."
"Yes. The war with the Qishan Wen Clan, to be exact." Xiao Zhan stated his words with conviction.
Lan Xichen was not truly surprised by the revelation since the Wen Clan had been employing their oppressive tactics towards other cultivation clans, including Gusu Lan. It was only a matter of time before the clans banded together to overthrow the Wen Clan's reign. He frowned slightly as he asked, "How do you know this, Young Master Wei?"
"My dreams were more detailed than his." Xiao Zhan made an excuse for himself. "I know how ridiculous it might sound since it was just a dream."
"No, it is not, Young Master Wei. When Wangji told me about some of the context of it, I had inquired of the experts on interpreting dreams, and they agreed that there was a high possibility of it foretelling the future. I already talked to Wangji about this, but he never mentioned that you had the same dream too."
"That was because I told him not to tell anyone, Zewu-Jun." Xiao Zhan quickly jumped to Lan Wangji's defense before shifting his attention to the person by his side. He whispered lowly, "But Lan Zhan, how come you never say anything about the experts? Are you hiding things from me now?"
Lan Xichen always had a remarkable listening ability; he could hear the not-so-subtle whispers. His lips widened into a half-grinning smile. "Wangji might hide some details from me, like the ribbon part, Young Master Wei, but he would not dare to keep anything from your knowledge. He must have forgotten. Am I right, Wangji?"
"..." Lan Wangji was at a loss for words at his brother's eagerness to provide him with unnecessary help.
"Alright then, rest assured. You have both my permission." Lan Xichen smilingly announced. He added, "And my blessing."
Upon hearing the last word, Xiao Zhan massaged his eyebrows as he was embarrassed. He was well aware of what Lan Xichen was thinking of. He had read the novel after all, but alas, he could not say anything about the 'supportive' behavior. He bit his tongue to keep his mouth shut.
"Brother." Lan Wangji was nearly growling.
"Yes, Wangji?" Lan Xichen's smile widened.
Lan Wangji sternly urged, "Please focus."
Lan Xichen could not restrain his laughter this time.
Lan Wangji frowned at his brother's reaction and tightened his grip on Bichen's hilt to calm himself. Meanwhile, Xiao Zhan shook his head and exhaled loudly.
"I was joking. Why are you so flustered, Wangji?" Lan Xichen said after he stopped laughing.
"Zewu-Jun, I believe we have a more pressing matter to prioritize. If I am correct, you also believed that the dream was an omen, is that right?"
Lan Xichen regained his mature equanimity once more at the question. He nodded, "That's right. If Young Master Wei does not mind, please tell me more about the details of the dream you both had. I only heard some selected bits from Wangji."
Xiao Zhan elaborated on the particulars, quoting the dialogues verbatim but left out the parts that piqued Lan Xichen's interest the most: the symbolic ribbon.
Lan Xichen listened intently, nodding along the way. "To put it briefly, Master Lan Yi requested the two of you to prevent a war that could end thousands of lives and to protect our clan."
"Yes." Both of them answered simultaneously.
Lan Xichen, "One question, Young Master Wei is from the Yunmeng Jiang Clan. Why is it 'our' clan and how is it your duty too?"
Xiao Zhan was dumbfounded by the details that Lan Xichen chose to fixate on.
This hopelessly romantic brat. Do you know what the precedence is? War. Thousands of lives.
"Zewu-Jun, may I remind you that it was a dream during which spoken words were beyond my control?" Xiao Zhan justified himself. "Either way, I am all for preventing tragedies. Regardless of which clan I belong to, I simply want to protect the clan of my training partner here, since we make a good team. After all, your clan has provided me with a vast amount of priceless knowledge and experiences. I am grateful for that. Please have faith in me on this."
Lan Wangji was unashamed to confess at that moment, "I trust Wei Ying even with my life, brother."
Surprised by Lan Wangji's bold admittance, Lan Xin Chen peered at his younger brother's face and then set his gaze on Xiao Zhan, seeking an answer. "Young Master Wei, do you also trust your life in my brother's hands?"
"Yes, I do. Without a doubt." Xiao Zhan responded without hesitation.
Lan Wangji looked down at the teacup he was fiddling with, hiding the blush that was creeping onto his face.
Satisfied with the pair's loyalty toward each other, Lan Xichen beamed. "Then I will put my faith in both of you to honor your words to Master Lan Yi. I promise to lend my assistance to the best of my ability whenever you need it."
Nice!
Xiao Zhan nodded. "Thank you, Zewu-Jun."
Lan Xichen, "By the way, when do you plan to go for the night hunts? Don't you have classes to attend, Young Master Wei?"
Lan Wangji was acting like Xiao Zhan's personal assistant, not letting Xiao Zhan interact too long with his brother. "Uncle has excused Wei Ying from his lessons."
"Really? How did you manage that?" Lan Xichen stared wide-eyed at Xiao Zhan.
"He had passed all the tests and recited the contents of the books that Uncle used for teaching," Lan Wangji answered immediately.
Xiao Zhan scowled at him as the Second Young Master Lan continued to reply on his behalf.
What is this? What is he doing? Is he denying my right to speak now?
Lan Xichen's whole face lit up, both from amazement and amusement. "Oh, that's unexpected."
Lan Wangji continued with his rainbow talk, "He memorized them too. Every single word."
Oh my God, please stop.
Xiao Zhan nudged the big-mouthed younger Lan, who sat beside him, at that added comment. He grumbled under his breath, "Lan Zhan, you were just pretending to be a quiet person all this time, weren't you? Now, your true nature as a big mouth is finally out."
Right after that, Xiao Zhan instantly covered his mouth as he realized he had just spoken his thoughts out loud.
Lan Wangji furrowed his brows and protested, "I only told the truth."
As the two began bickering, Lan Xichen couldn't maintain his composure for the second time and broke the rule of "no excessive noise" with his laughter once more.
"..." Both looking perplexed at the elder Jade of Lan, the two were as red as tomatoes.
Finally stifling his laugh after a couple of minutes, Lan Xichen gave them a not-so-apologetic bow and spoke, "Forgive my misbehavior. Young Master Wei, you definitely brought many surprises to the table today. I had always thought that you were brilliantly talented in many fields. Now I know that you have the intelligence of a genius. It is no wonder why you managed to master a lot of skills at such a young age."
Xiao Zhan's face turned even redder at the compliment, which had subtly hidden meanings. He really wanted to bolt out of the door to avoid this awkward atmosphere. He awkwardly brushed it off. "Hahaha, Zewu-Jun, I'm not that great."
There was something wrong with Lan Wangji today. He did not help defuse the situation when he shared another ability of Xiao Zhan: "He can play the flute too."
That's it! This brat!
Xiao Zhan clasped Lan Wangji's mouth with his palm as if it were an automatic response. "Oh God, your mouth needs a silencing spell."
Lan Wangji's eyes widened at the sudden physical touch. "..."
Realizing his action, Xiao Zhan withdrew his hand and looked away. He muttered, "I'm sorry."
What's wrong with him today? Did he get possessed by Wang Yibo? Since when did this person become such a blabbermouth? Plus, he's acting shamelessly today. What am I? A trophy to show off?