"Go away. Let me sleep." The shaking on Xiao Zhan's shoulder got even rougher.
I swear to God I would slap whoever it is. Stop shaking! What a mannerless......Wait. I live alone. I am positive I sleep alone last night. Who is it with me? Should I open my eyes? What if it's a ghost?
Xiao Zhan shut his eyes tighter, just in case. His heart started to race as he might be encountering a real paranormal activity right now. He overlapped his feet, tensing them tight because if he left them separated, one of his feet might get grabbed. Like that movie.
Shit! The ghost might leave if I don't open my eyes, right?
"Wei Wuxian!"
Whose voice is this? Why are they calling that name? God damn all, whatever.
He peeked through the smallest slit of his eyelids. He saw a figure wearing purple attire. Since it wasn't a dirty white or stained with blood or red, he slowly opened both his eyes.
Xiao Zhan, "Zhuo Cheng? Why are you in this costume? Is this a prank show?"
Eh, hold on! I never gave my address to Zhuo Cheng though. Why is he in my house? How did he get the key?
He took a good look at his surroundings while massaging his sore lower back. The wooden bed was too hard, and the mattress was not as fluffy as his orthopedic mattress.
This place does not look like my bedroom. It's like ancient spa place. My back hurts!
"What? Zhuo Cheng? You really had become more idiotic. Perhaps it was too late, you have permanent brain damage. You even changed my surname to other family name! Why do I have to take care of this fool! Wake up! That old man Lan would surely punish you again if you are late!" Jiang Cheng yanked the blanket as he nagged.
Xiao Zhan's memory of yesterday event came crashing. He gasped and quickly squeezed his eyes shut. He pulled the blanket back his head as he shrunk into a fetal position.
Oh God, I regret opening my eyes. Please let me rewind back the time by 5 seconds. No. Please rewind to at least 48 hours!
Jiang Cheng was about to explode with rage, he snatched the duvet and threw it on the ground. His voice echoed as he yelled, "Are you kidding me?! Wei Wuxian!"
Chills racing across Xiao Zhan's skin. He might not see a vengeful spirit, but a hysterical screaming escaped from his lips, "AHHHHHHHHHH!"
What in God's name is happening? Is this hell? Did I die? What's happening?
No matter how many times Xiao Zhan opened or closed his eyes, it was still the same place. Coupled with his singer lung capacity and wide vocal ranges, another scream rocked the entire dorm.
This place. Gusu. Cloud Recess. Why am I still here? It wasn't inception?
Jiang Cheng's face was flushed with anger for his presence was getting ignored. He was sure the entire Gusu Lan sect had heard his martial brother insane outbursts. His body was quivering in fury as he shouted, "Suit yourself! I don't care anymore! You should get more punishments! I will personally make sure you get twice as much!". He stormed out the room and he didn't close the door.
You little disrespectful shit.
Xiao Zhan slowly sat up and buried his head in his hands. After a few rounds of deep breathing exercises, he pinched his thigh. He yelped in pain. Still in denial, he slapped his face multiple times to just for a good measure. His cheeks flashed with the color of bright rouge. His throat felt like it was tightening. Anxious and confused, he started to hyperventilate.
I already slapped myself thrice, my cheeks still hurt. I put extra strength at the last slap in case it was not enough to wake up. What should I do now? How is this happening? Why is this happening? Ok, let's make some sense of this nonsense. Let's think logically. Logically my ass. There's no logic in this. Deep breath. Don't cry. Deep breath. Xiao Zhan hold yourself together. Let's try to relax. Calm down and think.
Xiao Zhan changed his posture to a lotus position and meditated. Waves of soothing sensations began spreading through his every vein and capillary like a cup of hot chocolate during cold rainy days. His muscle began to relax, his mind got clearer, and his breathing stabilized into a slow rhythm. Deliberating carefully on his situation, he reached into a conclusion that it was best for him have to accept all the challenges that life has to offer and walk his own path steadily. Even if there are occasional obstacles, he would be the best person he can. Which meant, he would have to go to lesson hall for today, follow the rules, avoid troubles and be invincible enough not to attract unwanted attentions. At the same time, he would pray harder to be returned to real world or figure the way out of this impossible glitch of universe.
Since he had decided, he needed to get himself cleaned and fresh. He scrunched his face at a flash of melancholic thought. As someone from modern world, who were used to have adjoined bathroom in his bedroom, he dreaded his upcoming First World problems. Hot shower, toilet with flush, clean water that could flow just with a tap, toiletries, laundry machine, smartphones etc. With his head hung low, he went to the communal bathroom to freshen up and tried his hardest to forget about those modern inventions that he had lived with for 30 years. Although he would give this nonsense trial of life a fly, he still couldn't help but to wallow in self-pity.
At least, there's a place where I can wash up. I really miss technology. Oh, God. I want to cry.
He picked up one of the three sets of dark robes to wear and he dressed himself up. He had filmed few period dramas before so putting the 3 layers robe on was easy, even without a stylist. Looking at the mirror on the table, his eyes widened at his own reflection. He proceeded to turn his face left and right and feel his own features.
It's still my face but younger. What happened to my eyes? They are grey! Never mind, let's not think too much. It's not a big deal for now. At least, my vision is somehow a perfect 20/20.
He tied his hair in the half up and half down do with the iconic red ribbon. He didn't know how he knew how to do it. Apparently, his body would move faster than his cerebellum could finish processing the command. After all, Xiao Zhan now possessed a body whose brain was capable of total recalling. A master of six arts at a mere age of fifteen. One of those with the highest cultivation levels among his generations. The secret was now out. Wei Wuxian was not just simply a genius; he was one of those rare ones who was bestowed with photography-like memory and blessed with innovative and inventive skills.
Xiao Zhan put on his best act as a perfect model student. He just needed to not behave like Wei Wuxian and did the complete opposite of what Wei Wuxian would do.
As soon as the lesson ended, he went back to the room. Prayed until he felt asleep with burning hope and faith, that once he woke up, he would be on his own fluffy bed snuggling with his cat.
You can't always get what you wished for.
For Xiao Zhan unfortunately, that was the case. No matter how he held back his tears, longing for to be home, he still woke up in the same place. Everyone in Cloud Recesses had probably cursed him for waking them up earlier than the waking time of Gusu Lan. It had been a week of repeating same routine. Rinse and repeat style. Xiao Zhan's frustration had reached a boiling point that it exploded into an absolute mental breakdown.
Still woke up here!! I'm not sorry for screaming each time I see this place once I wake up. Anyone would do it if they're in my situation. I can't handle the pestering of those 2 brats anymore. I couldn't even hear myself think with those repetitive questions.
Am I sick? Yes! Sick of you two!
Am I Okay? Do I look like I am?
Am I dying? Yes! Dying to go back to where I belong!
Am I insane? I am going to be soon!
Have I lost my mind? Totally.
Did I have brain damage? I wish!
Great! So great! My life is over. This is the worst.
Xiao Zhan's head was on fire. There were a lot of knowledge he never even knew existed and things he never learnt before (in 30 years living as Xiao Zhan on the planet earth, year 2022) but he be in possession of. Cultivation, swordsmanship, all of those six arts, talismans, spells and other magical mystical nonsensical stuffs. All of Wei Wuxian's knowledge, emotions and thoughts gradually invaded and merged with his own and now both of them were fully in synchronization.
The combination of talents of a teen prodigy cultivator and a singer slash actor slash model from different dimension of time produced the mess that was currently called, Xiao Zhan. Due to that combo, he managed to put up a blocking talisman at the door once he retreated to the room, to prevent anyone, especially that Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang to harass his already disappearing patience and sanity.
I need to get out of here.
Xiao Zhan felt like the room was getting smaller, suffocating him and preventing him from getting oxygen to his lungs. He grabbed his sword and ran out the door. He heard someone saying something about "running is forbidden" as he dashed into the woods.
As if I care! I don't know where I am going but fuck all this. Whatever. I need to be away from all this.
Looking down, the ground was several feet away. Enough to break a leg if he fell. He was leaping from tree branches to the next all this while. Xiao Zhan shook with mirthless laughter. He was not impressed at all. He just wanted to go home.
Should I laugh? Or cry? Mom, look at your son. Your son is flying. Your son is.... Mom, help.
His feet finally reached to a stop. He couldn't run or leap across this rapid stream of the cascading waterfalls. He froze at the majestic sight, just like how the novel depicted Cloud Recesses, like ocean of clouds in immortal realm. It was enveloped in hazy billow of mist that gave off a cooling and fresh air. It was truly picturesque.
If only this is not a nightmare, I might be amazed by the scenery. Here I am standing in front of a breathtakingly beautiful landscape. Thoroughly fucked up.
His legs gave out and he slumped onto the ground like a young mermaid stranded at the shore. Xiao Zhan needed an outlet to channel his bitterness, exasperations and resentments. His vocal cord was put onto a test, his voice fighting against the sound of the nature. He only stopped after a few rounds of gale-force wails, whines and cussing.
How dramatic right? Put yourself in my shoes. You would be like this too if you are suddenly woken up in a place so foreign, so ancient and so alone. Let's just laugh this catastrophic misfortune off, alright? Look at me crying and laughing at the same time. Ah, shit. Who am I talking to? God, are you there? Is this a test? or just a cruel joke? When will this be over?
The day was gradually getting brighter, illuminating and making everything in the scenery twice more saturated and more serene. Xiao Zhan was sitting on his bum, and it was starting to feel numb. It pained him to admit that this was not a lucid dream. All his 5 senses were working well, and he even had extra senses now. The strange radiating energy under the solar-plexus bone in his chest was the Golden Core. Even the sword exuded its own energy. The only one without any energy to deal with such crappy circumstances and unbelievable ordeals was Xiao Zhan. However, he couldn't wave in white flag too early, and he was determined to find a way out of this fictional (or supposed to be) world.
As a grown and matured man, I will find a way to face this problem and find the solution to fix it. I refused to give up. Let's stop sitting like a mermaid first and stand up. I am going to figure this out one question at a time
He picked himself up and started to walk up and down the shore.
Pacing back and forth will help circulate the blood brain faster. Maybe it'll help. Let's start with the chronology of this.
When was the last time I was in the 'real' world? I was in the car. That OST. Hmm. Am I dead? No, no, no, no!
Panic and anxiety washed over Xiao Zhan again causing him to heave, huffing and puffing for air. Shaking the thought away, he calmed himself down. If he had died, was he in heaven or hell? Or purgatory? Netherworld? Soul Realm? Why Cloud Recess?
Ok stop. I am still alive, I am breathing. My heart still is beating. Let's leave this question for later then.
When was the first time I woke up here? It was 7 days ago. In a place based on novel and I had acted as Wei Wu Xian, the main character for a live action drama based on the novel. If everything goes like the plot of the story, I know what is going to happen next. I know the characters and I know which among them are villains. Okay, that is one good point! There's a huge problem though. Wei Wuxian is Yiling Patriarch, who can control the dead or resentful spirits. I am currently the very Wei Wuxian.
Mom, your son really misses you. Ughhh.
Now, another problem. The plot seems to be following the novel, not the drama I was in which explained the minor differences in the characters that I have met so far. Wei Wuxian is technically, a necromancer. A grandmaster of demonic cultivation. Novel Wei Wuxian is 10 times more powerful and terrifying. Who will kill thousands in the battle.
I am all for world peace, I hate violence. I had only killed bugs that sometimes creeps in the house uninvited, and my biggest kill is an adult cockroach. The weapon, a whole can of bug killer spray. That was after I stopped running for my life because that little shit suddenly flew around acting like it was butterfly, and it took my dignity as a man to clench my teeth and empty the spray can until I see that thing stopped moving. I had to hire professional cleaner the next day to remove the excess gas and staining from the killer spray.
How can I be him? Should I even bother? Should I just run away and live in seclusion? But if this is going according to the story, thousands will die. The body count will never stop if Wei Wuxian runs away. They might be characters in novel, but I had seen them in person. They are still human. So, this is not an option. It goes against my moral, my humanity and my conscience.
Next, I acted both as in and out of character. The plot stayed the same when I followed the story flow. However, a few minor changes I made had altered the next story line al little. This means, I can change the future, prevent the tragedies and save many lives. Will Yiling patriarch cease to exist if I prevent the burial mound plot? He won't have his dark powers, right? Can the evil Wens be defeated without that power?
Note to self. Pulling my long already damp and messy hair are not helping! It fucking hurts! Back to the problem.
The most important question is, will I lose myself if I have to live as Wei Wuxian for God knows how long? It would be great if I can go back. I need to find a way back. Still too early to tell if I will return to real life or not. For now, I am stuck here. I am just a singer and an actor. What sins did I do to be sent here? Deep breath. You can do this. Ah, this is just the right moment to sing sad songs, isn't it? Hah, I am in this weird world with superpowers and superintelligence, and I just need to sing huh? I am a singer to core, am I not? My singing career is over! Screw it. At least, I have to say goodbye to my passion and dreams.
Cloud Recess, please welcome this sad singer who is about to sing a sad song to make life even sadder than it is.
...
IÂ took a short nap in the night breeze
While the boat moved through the lakeâ mist
Theâ evening returned theâ stars
I plucked a willow leaf andâ blew it to the ends of the earth
Spread out the yellowing kite
Look back at the old mortal world
The paper lantern on the lake has floated far away
The events of the past have flipped over to a new chapter
Lean on the railing of a high building
Raise a glass and admire the flower-filled street
But I have also washed my sword with blood at the Xuanwu Cave once
Criticisms pass my ear
I was brave anyways, so why fear the words of others
I've walked through fire but I still hold pity in my heart
I once smiled as I fought over a jar of liquor
And duelled with the most beautiful person in Gusu
It had nothing to do with life or death
But I always end up becoming someone that the folk tales talk about
Outside my window the magnolias bloom a splendid scene
Was my previous life a dream or reality?
After I've left the world for so long
The reasons of the past all become rumours
Died at the Nightless City
Who would believe that the young man told no lies?
For justice and for a promise I took up the flute and gave up the sword
The rumours go ahead of me
What's the point of arguing that my loyalty is still the same?
Everything in the world involves a thousand people, with a thousand opinions and a thousand faces
And my fingers teased a pattern of swirling clouds
Unintentionally caused the qin string to tremble
Why do I remember that moment so deeply in my dreams?
Flower petals rain from the tree
Is this moment a dream or reality?
After we've travelled the world together
The world outside will become merely rumours
Why do I need to speak about my loyalty?
Play the flute carelessly beneath falling stars
Rather than leave behind an honourable name
I rather have a cup of fine wine right now
I also once embraced the world
And was the sole admirer of a branch of spring
It had nothing to do with life or death
Why always become someone they tell stories about?
Outside the door the sound is faint but the shadow is deep
Is this reunion a dream or reality?
After I've left the world for so long
My previous life will eventually turn into a scar
...
Xiao Zhan clasped his mouth with his palm when he was finished. Among all song he could have sung, he subliminally chose this one. An OST of Chen Qing Ling. Somehow back in his mind, he kind of anticipated a monkey or similar to suddenly came out of the woods and gave him a huge applause for the aporia of his song choice. Just for the comical aspect of it. The sound of waterfall fills the area again and Xiao Zhan lamented over his predicament once again.
Wow, anyone else can see the irony of the song I just sang?! Even my own mouth clowned me. Forget it! Although, I got a break from racking my brain with this shitty situation for a moment. I am not even acting right now but it feels like someone is watching my solo musical drama.
"How appropriate?" Xiao Zhan spouted while looking up to the sky. Furious with those beings that might be up there watching him to make a fool of himself. "Fuck! I am going insane!"
Xiao Zhan fixated his sight on the natural fountain in front of him and he felt the crazy incline to dwell under the torrent of the downpouring stream. Maybe it could help to wash away his emotional exhaustion and dejection. Leaving his sword and boots at the shore, he trudged in the pooling body of water towards the gigantic shower heads with an absent mind.
As if life is not twisted enough to the gods or demons or deities or whatever beings, someone or something caught hold of his wrist and clenched on it. Super tight. Stunned, Xiao Zhan was frozen in his track.
Just don't let it be water ghoul.