The golden hour was just beginning to fade away by the time Xiao Zhan woke up. It was then that he realized just how tired he actually was. He stretched out his arms and legs as he sat up from the bed. The bandage on his hand reminded of what happened this morning and the lingering heartache and woe still nagged at him like a persistent headache.
He meditated for a while to dispel the negativity clouding his mind as well as to speed up the recovery process. A warm breeze blew in through the window and Xiao Zhan found himself relaxing considerably. He closed his eyes and focused his consciousness on the spiritual energy accumulated in his core. The flow of spiritual power glided smoothly through his body, his Qi coursing through the pathways of his meridians freely like a gentle stream. With every passing moment, the energy was able to reach deeper into his cells and replace the damaged ones with new ones, mending the broken skin like a miracle. When he opened his eyes again, his palm was almost back to normal. Cultivation world was a cool magical world indeed.
Afterwards, he got up to get ready and once done, he quickly exited his room, making his way to the dining hall and head straight to the kitchen where, he was greeted happily by the head cook. As usual, cooking gave him a sense of peace and tranquility as if his cumbersome grievance that occupied a certain part of his heart were finally swept away and replaced with delicious foods. He chatted amicably with the older man, sharing small anecdotes about food and recipes he learnt from his past life. When they finally finished cooking, there was a sea of beautiful delicacies laid out for everyone. The food smelled heavenly, and it could be said that everybody rejoiced in happiness whenever Xiao Zhan graced the kitchen with his presence.
Nie Mingjue was once a pupil in Cloud Recesses as well and he always found the food in the Gusu Lan Sect to be just enough to sustain oneself during their daily studies. However, he didn't expect to find himself enjoying the Gusu Lan sect's dishes this time around. When he saw Xiao Zhan came out of the kitchen while talking animatedly to the kitchen personnel, he could only add on to the list he compiled on his youngest brother's talents.
"Enjoy the meal, Da Ge." Xiao Zhan said with a smile as he sat next to his adopted brother.
"Did you cook all these?" Nie Mingjue asked in astonishment, eyeing the array of dishes that were in front of him. As someone who never stepped inside the kitchen, it was hard to imagine the powerful young cultivator could produce such delicious food.
"It was a team effort." Xiao Zhan replied in laidback manner.
"Didn't you hurt your hand earlier? How is it now?" Nie Mingjue asked curiously as he remembered the extent of the injury.
"You mean this?" Xiao Zhan put up his hand and showed off the healed cuts that marred the right side of his palm.
"What? Did you get hurt, Didi? Who hurt you? How? Why? Explain to me, your Er Ge." Nie Huaisang appeared suddenly with Jiang Cheng in tow, the latter looking very disgruntled from having to deal with the former who latched on him like a leech and dragged him around.
Jiang Cheng's face almost had a permanent scowl on it, looking as though he was already ready to commit murder with a specific victim in mind. He grumbled, "Stop fussing over nothing! Er Ge, my..."
His words died on his tongue as his gaze landed upon the tall muscular physique that belonged to Nie Mingjue.
"My what, Jiang Cheng?" Nie Huaisang had a smug grin on his face that made Jiang Cheng wanted to strangle him. This was the only time that he could use his elder brother's intimidating figure to his advantage, he was not going to waste it.
Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes in exasperation and sat his bum down across Xiao Zhan with begrudging huff. He took a glance at Xiao Zhan's hand and said, "Let me guess. You were the one who hurt yourself?"
He made the guess solely on the assumption that, there was no one in the entire Gusu who could hurt that monster of a martial brother he had.
Xiao Zhan lifted his shoulders in a shrug, "Should I give you an award or something for getting it right?"
Nie Huaisang gasped melodramatically, "Why did you hurt yourself, Didi? Did you feel like you were suffocating? Were you tired of being dragged around? Do you-"
Nie Mingjue could no longer keep his peace with the flurries of questions and barked, "Shut up, Huaisang or I will make you."
Nie Huaisang promptly shut up and his timid nature returned, causing Jiang Cheng to snicker quietly.
Xiao Zhan shook his head with a chuckle at the scene. He then urged, "Just eat up."
They all ate in an amiable manner although both boys kept looking at each other questioningly, not knowing what to make of the bizarre atmosphere hung in the air. Usually, Xiao Zhan and Lan Wangji would be inseparable. Now, Lan Wangji was nowhere to be seen and Xiao Zhan was strangely cheerful and nice that it seemed forced.
"Where's your-"Jiang Cheng was rudely cut off by Xiao Zhan's sharp glare and he swallowed whatever he was planning to say. The glare was not the usual kind that he was used to receiving from Xiao Zhan. This one was colder than winter, sharper and deadly as if warning him not to say the name lest he be sent flying. Even Nie Huaisang could feel the chill although the glare was not directed to him.
With that one meaningful look, the three immediately understood that the Yin and Yang couple was having a huge argument. And judging from the intensity of the glaring, it seems that it wasn't over yet.
Nie Mingjue raised his brow and probed, "Are you sure you are going to be alright here? Do you need me to stay around longer?"
All three answered in unison, "No."
Nie Mingjue narrowed his eyes sharply at both Nie Huaisang and Jiang Cheng for answering a question that was not intended for them. The two boys looked sheepish and avoided his piercing gaze.
"Go home, Da Ge." Xiao Zhan said firmly, his tone brooking no argument. He smiled apologetically as he looked at Nie Mingjue, "I will be fine."
Nie Mingjue stared at Xiao Zhan for a couple second before nodding, "Alright. If you say so."
"Da Ge, how come you are so gentle to Didi but not to me?" Nie Huaisang complained as he saw his eldest brother's gentle treatment of Xiao Zhan.
"Huh, what makes you think I'm not gentle to you?" Nie Mingjue arched his brow as he looked over at Nie Huaisang. He growled at the teen, "Who do you think cleaned up after your mess? You better pass the exam later or stay here for another year!"
Nie Huaisang hid behind Jiang Cheng who was unwillingly pulled into the harsh bickering of two brothers.
Xiao Zhan laughed lightly at the sight although his laughter was lacking the usual cheeriness he usually carried around with him. His eyes kept searching for Lan Wangji despite not wanting to. The man did not appear till the end. He sighed slightly, his chest feeling heavy and empty.
After bidding Nie Mingjue farewell for his journey back to Qinghe in the early morning hours, he returned back to his room. Looking at his morose retreating figure, Nie Huaisang and Jiang Cheng secretly bet on when the two would reconcile once more with the former bet on they would take a couple of days while the latter bet on it would take less than a day.
*****
Shutting the door behind him, Xiao Zhan was trying hard to keep himself together and control the urge to find his lover who had yet to show up. Even though he had coaxed himself repeatedly that he wasn't bothered by the absence of Wangji, the disappointment still lingered inside him like a heavy fog, threatening to drown him if he didn't find a remedy to rid himself of it first. He was getting even more annoyed every second that passed.
"Ah, whatever. I'm going to sleep!" He declared to himself as he finally collapsed on his bed with a mixture of emotions warring within him. A part of him wanted to cry, another part felt like laughing and a third part felt like cursing.
"Lan Wangji, if you don't beg for my forgiveness by the dawn, I will never forgive you." He said as he threw his hands up into the air in frustration. "Okay, maybe I can extend the hours a little but if you past the mark of twenty-four hours, I am going to hunt you down... Shit. I am beyond saving..."
He sighed in defeat and resigned himself to his fate of being unable to live a day without seeing his lover's face. The anger still remained but as time went by, it started to fade away gradually as he realized that things would probably never change. That man could stab him with Bichen, and he would still forgive him. He could kill him, and he would still love him just the same.
Dear whoever you are, are you testing my patience or my sanity? Because I am failing both. I am telling you; I will run away and start a fucking zombie apocalypse if you keep this shit up. I am not even kidding this time. You can watch the world burn if you keep toying with my feelings. This is not the kind of person I am, and you know it. But even the kindest people have their limits. And you are clearly abusing mine. I am not even that kind to begin with! Okay, I am sorry. I don't mean any of those. No, maybe I do! But only because I'm too stubborn to admit it. That being said, you are doing it on purpose aren't you? Is this some kind of psychological warfare that you've been playing? You're really pushing my buttons now, you know that?
Xiao Zhan's back and forth internal monologue continued for half an hour until he fell asleep.
He was awoken in the dead of night to the sound of his door opening and he could tell exactly who had entered his room. His blocking talisman was strong enough to stop most intruders, but he knew better than anyone that the only person who could dispel and break through it with ease was none other than his beloved Lan Wangji. He pulled the blanket up further to cover his body and pretended to be asleep while listening attentively to his lover's footsteps approach him. He heard the creak of the floorboards, a rustle of fabrics, and a soft sigh before there was a light kiss placed on top of his head.
"Wei Ying." Lan Wangji whispered softly and gently caressed his hair.
Xiao Zhan didn't respond. He stayed as motionless as possible despite how much he wanted to jump out of his covers and strangle his boyfriend for being such a jerk. Or kiss him senselessly for being such a jerk. He didn't know. He couldn't make up his mind at all. All he knew was that he did not want Lan Wangji to leave. The room was deathly quiet, with only the sound of Lan Wangji's soft breathing and Xiao Zhan's heartbeats as proof that he was still alive and well, despite how upset he was at his boyfriend.
"I know you are awake. The pulse beneath my palm is beating faster than usual." A gentle hand reached underneath the blanket and brushed Xiao Zhan's cheek affectionately.
"Go away." Xiao Zhan muttered under the blanket.
If you leave, you are an idiot.
"No. I will not do so." Lan Wangji spoke with firm resolve etched onto his features.
Thank goodness, you are not an idiot. But still, I won't forgive you so easily!
"Why are you here? To force me to apologize to your uncle again?" Xiao Zhan retorted; his voice muffled by the blanket.
I will not hesitate to kick you where it hurts if you say yes to this.
"No. I want to make up for my mistake." Lan Wangji spoke in a sincere tone. "I am sorry, Wei Ying."
Okay. Forgiven. But I won't tell you that yet.
A silence reigned inside the room as Xiao Zhan didn't reply on purpose for a long while. It was a petty revenge on his side, but it was necessary. After all, there was no way he was letting the Second Jade of Gusu Lan off the hook that fast.
Lan Wangji continued waiting patiently, giving Xiao Zhan time to gather his thoughts. His hand trembled slightly in anticipation of hearing his love's reply.
After a few minutes, Xiao Zhan lifted the blanket slowly, revealing his beautiful face that Lan Wangji desperately missed. His sparkly eyes locked onto Lan Wangji's own, as he posed his question in all seriousness, "Lan Zhan, you once said you stand by my side, but you couldn't even go against your uncle today. One day, when everyone is going against me, what are you going to do? Which side will you choose?"
Lan Wangji answered in a heartbeat, "You."
Xiao Zhan sprang up to sit upright as he stared intently at Lan Wangji, waiting for a more elaborative answer.
"I will choose you, Wei Ying." Lan Wangji stated with a clear look of conviction. He vowed with a solemn expression, "I swear on my life, I will choose you over everything else."
"Even if I walk on the path of darkness?" Xiao Zhan questioned.
"Yes, let's walk together." Lan Wangji replied without hesitation.
"Even if that means you have to turn your back against everyone?" Xiao Zhan tested his sincerity.
"Even then."
"Even if I wage war against the heaven?"
"Mn." Lan Wangji nodded. "I will be in hell with you."
"Even if I start a zombie apocalypse?" Xiao Zhan asked one final time with a small devilish smirk.
"...a what?" Lan Wangji blinked in confusion before he declared, "Wei Ying, I will stay with you no matter what."
"Alright. I believe you." Xiao Zhan nodded in satisfaction with Lan Wangji's pledge. He then asked, "Then tell me this. Why did you do that?"
"I just didn't want you to get into trouble with Uncle," Lan Wangji admitted honestly. He took Xiao Zhan's hands, pulling them close to his chest, "I wish to marry you one day, and I want our family to be peaceful."
Xiao Zhan's lips twitched upwards ever so slightly, he looked away to hide the smile that was growing as he replied, "You think too far ahead. What if your action today resulted in me not wanting to marry you?"
Lan Wangji froze instantly. His hands tightened around Xiao Zhan's as if afraid that the other would run away. He squeezed his eyes shut and prayed that his heart didn't betray his fears and doubts. He refused to accept the possibility that Xiao Zhan might reject him. The words hurt like knives slicing through his heart. He asked quietly with quivering voice, "You don't... want to marry me anymore?"
Xiao Zhan didn't expect Lan Wangji to shed tears, nor did he expect such a reaction from the usually composed and stoic man. "Why are you crying now, Lan Zhan? I said what if..."
He stopped mid-sentence because he noticed the slight tremble on Lan Wangji's lips.
"Wei Ying, I don't think I can imagine a life without you." Lan Wangji choked as the tears fell freely down his cheeks.
"Oh, you silly big baby." Xiao Zhan couldn't keep the chuckle in this time around as he shook his head as a gesture that Lan Wangji was being absurd. "If you really mean that, then I have another question."
"What is it?" Lan Wangji's voice sounded strained as he tried to maintain a straight face.
"Why did you come so late?" Xiao Zhan complained.
"I wanted to go after you sooner." Lan Wangji explained, a small, pained smile adorning his face, as he wrapped Xiao Zhan's fingers tighter within his warm palms, hoping to convey the warmth of his affection to Xiao Zhan. "But Brother said you might need some space and time to calm down."
Xiao Zhan raised his eyebrow at Lan Wangji's answer, "Hmm... He was right. What else did he say?"
"That you would not hold back if I went after you right away?" Lan Wangji spilled the beans without hesitating and he saw the light in Xiao Zhan's eyes grow wider.
Xiao Zhan laughed heartily, "Ah, he's not wrong. I might've done just that. So, is that why you come to me so late?"
"Mn." Lan Wangji nodded. He looked down at the hands that were in his, examining the pinkish scars that had formed and crisscrossed Xiao Zhan's right palm. He mumbed as he traced each scar, "I'm sorry. I caused these. I hurt you and it is all my fault."
"You did not cause this. I did it myself." Xiao Zhan corrected.
"No, I made you lose your temper." Lan Wangji insisted adamantly.
"Oh, come on. Let's compromise and blame it on the quality of the cup itself." Xiao Zhan proposed a middle ground.
"It was high quality porcelain, Wei Ying. It wasn't supposed to break easily." Lan Wangji pointed out.
"Oh... Sorry. Was it expensive?" Xiao Zhan asked in a sheepish manner. "Do I have to replace it?"
"It was Uncle's treasured set. "Lan Wangji informed.
"I see. In that case, we're even now." Xiao Zhan shrugged, not bothering to hide a smirk as he glanced at the man, "You know, Lan Zhan, I am still waiting for the part where you make up for your mistake."
A smile formed on Lan Wangji's lips as he brought Xiao Zhan's palms to his lips and kissed them gently while gazing into the depth of the eyes that looked like stars in a night sky. They burned brightly against the moonlight, radiating such an intense energy that he had trouble believing that there was anything capable of extinguishing them in its entirety. He leaned forward slowly until their faces were mere inches apart and said, "I will make up for it for as long as you want me to, Wei Ying."
"Shut up and kiss me already." Xiao Zhan demanded impatiently.
Lan Wangji complied eagerly before pushing him back into the bed and covering him with his body. He kissed him deeply with such ferocity, as if trying to swallow Xiao Zhan whole. Their clothes were completely disheveled in the aftermath of their passionate kissing session. After several moments of heavy breathing, Xiao Zhan sat up suddenly as he whispered urgently, "Hold it right there! You broke my talisman. Fix it first."
Lan Wangji paused to reach inside his sleeve and threw a new one towards the door as replacement swiftly. Then he turned his attention back towards his lover and whispered back, "Good now?"
"Yeah, good." Xiao Zhan agreed with a satisfied nod. After that, their clothes came off in a hurry and they were finally united under the sheets.
Xiao Zhan closed his eyes as he allowed his lover's weight to press on top of him; his strong arm was supporting both sides of his torso. Lan Wangji leaned down towards his ear to whisper, "I love you so much."
Xiao Zhan couldn't reply as Lan Wangji immediately followed through with his actions causing him to let out a strangled moan instead. The feeling of their bodies pressed together, melting into one entity, sent shivers down their spines. They moved against each other fervently, seeking the comfort of each other as their bodies molded together perfectly and seamlessly.
"Forgive me, Wei Ying." Lan Wangji repeated his apology for the the umpteenth time now without ceasing his pace.
"Lan Zhan..." Xiao Zhan groaned, panting heavily, "If you are sorry... at least, act like it! Be gentle..."
"Sorry." Lan Wangji uttered once more. Before long, small whimpers escaped Xiao Zhan's lips as he clung to the other tightly. He wasn't thinking clearly anymore as his lover continued to move against him in an unhurried pace, driving him mad with desire. "Please... Stop..."
Before he could finish his sentence, Lan Wangji halted his movements entirely. He asked innocently, "Stop?"
"Lan Zhan!" Xiao Zhan almost yelled aloud at his lover's antics and gritted his words out, "I swear to God, if you stop now, I will beat the crap out of you!"
Lan Wangji simply smiled, "I'll do as you wish."
*****