Miren didn't know how to look at Jeno anymore. Especially since he was the mastermind behind the brilliant plan that was destined to get her killed. So instead she focused on her viola, and played the difficult composition. But it was hard to ignore someone sitting right next to you.
Though they were seated in separate columns, they were now joined by rows. She curved her head slightly to the leftâaway from Jeno and toward the orchestra instructor's podium. She could still see him out of her peripheral vision, however. He wore his usual mask of indifference. Miren sighed.
Maybe it was all in her headâit probably was all in her headâbut it felt like they were regressing. She was tired of feeling conflicted over what seemed like nothing. But when she thought hard enough about her life, she knew that there was a problem with just about every facet of it. From her fabricated existence at Rinzen, the group of populars hot on her pursuit, schoolwork, and homecoming coordinating on top of that, her life spelled conflict. And conflict was an ugly word.
She flipped to the next page of a Vivaldi composition she was now accustomed playing, letting her mind wander. She wasn't mad at Jeno. He didn't make her feel uncomfortable, but he didn't make her feel entirely secure either. It's just that when he saidâwhen he promisedâthat he would help her take down Penelope, she thought that it would have been more of a group effort. Instead, it felt like he and Wallace simply offered her an attack tactic and pushed her out into the battlefield. Unarmed.
She was always the victim. Although, Miren began to consider, as Mr. Gales started telling them about future orchestral events, maybe that's what they're trying to prevent. The most combative thing Miren had done was fight with Penelope. Then she fled. A few weeks ago it felt like the right decision. Now, she was wondering if she was victimizing herself.
She saw Penelope a few days ago and the same feelings came flooding back. The feelings of being inferior. Pathetic. Miren raised her head, refusing to let these useless emotions seep in. Leaving Rosemunde was only half the battle. The other half, the one that would finally give her the confidence to break free from the emotional anguish she had been subjected to for the last three years, would have to be done alone.
But that's where the plan stopped making sense. Or at least, when the specifics stopped.
"Remember that we'll be playing during the homecoming festivities," the elderly teacher informed them, his face glimmering with delight. "Well, except for Jeno and Miles who have to deal with their homecoming duties." His eyes danced along the special students. "Please give them a round of applause!"
Jeno nodded a few times as a warm smile graced Miren's lips. Upon coming here, she was sure that the males would be her number one source of anxiety. But most of the time they were a joy. They allowed her to forget that she had problems. Most of the time.
"That concludes this class," Mr. Gales said, tapping his papers straight on his podium as the students fled for lunch.
Miren rose from her chair, placing her instrument in the cabinet toward the back stage. A hand fell on her shoulder. She spun around.
"Let's do lunch," Jeno said, shutting her cabinet. She lifted an eyebrow.
"So you aren't ashamed of sitting next to me in public?" she replied coyly, although she instantly regretted her tone. Of course he wasn't ashamed. He wasn't as petty as her.
"You're the one avoiding me," Jeno stated, starting for the front stage of the empty orchestra room. "Is it because Wallace didn't spill all of the plan?" His ember eyes were sharp against hers. "I forgot that girls are so sensitive."
"How did you..." she started, before feeling a pinch of offense. "Hey."
"Look, I'm not going to go all holier-than-thou on you, but you have to realize that this isn't all about you."
"I never said it was."
Jeno sighed. "I know. Penelope wronged a lot of people, but you're the only one she hurt the most," he said. "Rinzen may feel better to you than Rosemunde, but don't forget what she did to you."
Miren's expression hardened. It's not like she had a short-term memory. "What did she do to you?"
"That's not important."
"Yes it is!" Miren exclaimed with her hands in the air. She almost lost the control in her voice. "It's as if everyone is using me for their own personal agenda. I get it. Penelope is a mean girl. Everyone hates her but does nothing about it. I did. Then I left. Can't I just forget about her?"
"You think this is permanent?" Jeno said out of nowhere. Miren pursed her lips, her gaze falling to the empty room. They were quarreling like an old married couple. And she was losing. "You think you can do this forever?"
She knew she couldn't. But she didn't want to justify his words with a response.
"Then please listen to what I have to say," Jeno said, his voice lower, sympathetic. "I know you're smart. I know you can ace a test with your eyes closed, and you're a great actress, or actor in this case." His humor was dry, but it did relieve some of the tension from her face.
Is Jeno complementing me? But she shook her head, ignoring the girlish thought. "Then what about homecoming? What's the big deal about it? And if you tell me to 'wait and see' or some crap like that, I'm going to kick your ass."
Jeno smirked, looking more amused than taken back by her sudden intensity. "Good, use that aggression for your cause."
"But that still doesn't answer my questionâ" He placed a hand on her shoulder.
"I'm heading out. Last chance to accept my lunch offer," he said, already several paces ahead of her. "Seats fill up quick. I'm very popular."
"Butâ" He had already left the theater.
**
It was strange seeing him smile. You know, without it being condescending or out of spite towards her. Sitting across from Jeno and a seat over from Levi, Miren breathed in the foreign air.
So this is how it feels to be popular...
She had never strived for popularity at Rosemunde. She just wanted to survive each day. But here, her alter ego was flourishing. It would have been unsettling, but she felt no harm here. She would have felt bummed that Parker was nowhere to be seen, but it was probably for the best. Her eyes found Wallace's a few tables over. He only nodded.
See, nothing to worry about, she assured herself. She had even made the conscious effort not to eat salad. Taking a sip from her water, she eased at the sounds of the table's casual conversations.
"So how are we going to prank them this year?" Levi asked, his eyes bright and devious. Miren turned to him.
"Prank who?"
"The Roz girls," he answered, taking a hearty bite from his apple. With his apple hand, he pointed at Jeno.
"Don't you tell him anything?"
Jeno shrugged, his eyes clouding with passiveness. "Maybe he should be more observant." His gaze met Miren's. "Isn't that right?"
"So tell me," Miren began, "What kind of festivities will there be? Crazy hat day? Wild West day?"
"Please," Adam, the homecoming MC sitting next to her said, "we pay for our uniforms, don't we?"
Miren rolled her eyes. "Then what's all the fuss about?" She drew up the sleeve of her blazer, exposing the Rinzen crest tattoo she was given two weeks ago. "Why was I labeled? And for homecoming of all causes?"
Levi shook his head, his brown eyes half lidded. "Impatient are we? I'd like to spill the beans, but that's no fun, now is it?" A sly grin appeared on his face. "We aren't the Riz raccoons for nothing. Now put your boney arm away."
"It's like the spy theme you suggested," said Adam. "It has to be undercover. We're not going to tepee Rosemunde, or something equally tasteless. You'll know when the time is right."
Miren nodded. She didn't really care what they were doing to do. After all, she had things she had to do. Homecoming was a little more than two weeks away and she hadn't coordinated anything.
"So what am I supposed to do about decorations?" she said, before feeling a bit ridiculous. She was supposed to know. How were they going to help her?
"Don't worry about it," Jeno said, his reassuring words weakened by his dismissive tone. "The art and industrial tech students are responsible for decorating the dance hall. Basically, you just hand them blue prints of designs you would like," he said. "And be there to help assemble it on homecoming."
"I don't think it takes that long," Levi offered. "You pretty much just need some streamers, space for a DJ and a refreshment table. Simple."
Miren nodded. That's what she needed to hear. "So when do the blue prints need to be verified?"
"At the meeting."
"When's the meeting? Where?"
"After school," Jeno answered. "We'll meet up and walk together.'"
He was doing it again. Not completely answering her questions. She gritted her teeth, hiding them behind a neutral expression. But her mind was beyond aggravated. She didn't know what he was trying to accomplish. Maybe he liked to be the superior one in the situation; maybe he was trying to protect her sanity.
Either way, it was already damaged beyond repair.