Fallon
The training hall had emptied out by the time I found Aela. It was a quiet, eerie stillness that hung in the air, only the distant sounds of water dripping from the high stone walls disturbing the silence. I walked with purpose, my boots echoing against the cold floor as I made my way through the corridors, my mind too full to focus on anything but one thing: Kane Vaelrik.
Aela was in the library, as usual. She'd spent the better part of the last few weeks buried in scrolls and books, trying to make sense of everything happening between Ithrador and Kaedros. She'd always been the more studious of the two of us, the one who found comfort in knowledge rather than in action. When I entered, I found her sitting near the large hearth, her legs tucked under her as she flipped through a worn book, her focus entirely on the text in front of her.
"Aela," I said, voice trembling slightly despite myself. "I need to talk to you."
She looked up, her amber eyes softening immediately as she closed the book and set it aside. "What's wrong, Fallon?" She sat up straighter, all her attention now on me. "You look... troubled."
I stood in the doorway for a moment, my mind racing. I didn't know where to begin. I didn't know how to explain what had happened, or what it meant, or why it was so damn complicated.
"It's about Kane," I finally said, my voice barely a whisper.
Her expression shifted instantlyâeyes sharp, alert. She didn't say anything, but I could see the questions piling up behind her gaze. She knew me better than anyone, knew the way I avoided confrontation, the way I kept things to myself even when everything inside of me screamed to spill it all.
Aela motioned to the seat beside her. "Sit," she said gently, her voice calm, steady. "Whatever it is, you can tell me."
I hesitated. The warmth from the fire flickered against my skin, but it felt distant, like I couldn't quite reach it. I crossed the room and sat down beside her, feeling the weight of her attention on me. She didn't push, didn't try to get me to talk faster. She just waited, patient and silent, until I could find the words.
"I'm not sure how to say this," I began, my heart pounding in my chest. "I'm not sure you'll even understand it."
Aela didn't answer right away. Instead, she reached over and took my hand in hers, her fingers warm against my chilled skin. "You know you don't have to explain yourself to me. Just say whatever it is, Fallon."
I took a deep breath, steeling myself, trying to summon the strength to say the words out loud. To admit them even to myself. "We... Kane and I... we kissed."
Aela's eyes widened slightly, but she didn't interrupt. She simply nodded, giving me the space to continue.
"But it's more than that," I added quickly, my words spilling out in a rush. "It was... intense. We've been circling each other for so long, this unspoken thing between us. And I thought maybe it was just me, maybe I was imagining it, but... it's not. It's real."
Aela squeezed my hand. "Fallon, you don't have to explain every little detail. I get it. But you seem like you're carrying something heavy."
I shook my head, leaning forward, my fingers gripping the fabric of my tunic as if it could anchor me. "It's not just that. It's... I don't know what it means. We're not supposed to be together. He's my mentor. We're supposed to be enemies, at least in the way we're trained. And yet, there's this pull, this thing between us I can't ignore. It's been building for weeks, maybe even longer. But now that it's happened, I don't know what to do with it."
Aela was quiet for a long moment, her gaze soft as she studied me. "And what does he think about it?" she asked finally, her voice calm, her question simple but laden with understanding.
I swallowed hard, the memory of Kane's touch still fresh on my skin. "He says he doesn't know either. That it shouldn't have happened, that we're both too complicated for something like that." My heart twisted in my chest as I said the words out loud, and I knew, even before I finished speaking, that it wasn't just an excuse. Kane meant it.
"But you don't believe him," Aela said, her voice steady.
I glanced at her, startled by the knowing tone. She could read me like no one else could. I nodded, slowly, the ache in my chest deepening. "No, I don't believe him. Not completely."
Aela shifted, leaning back against the cushions of the chair. "Then why are you so afraid of it? Why are you pulling away from him?"
The question caught me off guard. I stared at her, unable to form a coherent response for a moment. Why was I afraid? Because it felt too real? Because it was too dangerous?
"I'm afraid," I said slowly, my voice barely a whisper, "because of everything that could go wrong. Everything will go wrong if people find out. The council, the academy, the war... we can't afford distractions. We can't afford to give in to this, Aela."
Aela let out a small sigh, looking at me with something akin to sorrow. "I know you, Fallon. I know how much you care about duty, about being the perfect soldier. But you're still human. You can't push this down forever."
I shook my head quickly, the pressure in my chest building again. "I'm not pushing it down. I can't let myself be distracted by Kane, not now. The timing is all wrong."
"But it's not just the timing, is it?" Aela's voice softened, but there was no judgment in itâonly understanding. "You're scared. Scared of what it means, scared of what people will think, and above all, scared of letting someone in. Because if you let Kane in, if you let him see you... truly see you... you don't know if you'll survive it. Not the war, not the lies. Not the betrayal."
I bit my lip, trying not to let the tears that were threatening to spill fall. "I don't know how to be anything other than what I've been trained to be, Aela. I don't know how to just... be Fallon. Not when everything around us is falling apart. Not when I can't even tell anyone about this. Not when I can't let anyone in. Not even you."
Aela's grip tightened on my hand, her fingers gentle but firm. "You don't have to tell anyone, Fallon. Not if you don't want to. But you can tell me. I'm your best friend. I'm not going anywhere."
I nodded, the lump in my throat threatening to choke me. I wanted to tell her everythingâevery emotion I was feeling, every thought that had been tumbling around in my mind. But it wasn't that simple. It wasn't just about the kiss, or the attraction. It was about trust, and duty, and everything that I knew could fall apart if anyone found out.
"I don't want to betray anyone," I said, my voice raw. "Not you, not Kane, not the academy. But I'm terrified, Aela. Terrified of what will happen if this becomes real."
Aela gave me a soft smile, a hint of sadness in her eyes. "You're already real, Fallon. You don't have to hide behind duty forever. Just don't forget that. No matter what happens, no matter how hard it gets, you're still you. And you don't have to carry this burden alone."
I sat there, in the quiet of the library, with Aela's hand in mine and the weight of everything I had just admitted pressing heavily on my shoulders. I didn't know where things would go with Kane, or what the future held for me or the academy. But I did know one thing: I couldn't do this alone. Not anymore.