I woke up fifteen after five and called Berkley. I asked him for the week off to think about us, a small lie that worked wonders. I have no idea what will happen with Harry so instead of only using the few days I have left I asked for more. Berkley was happy to give me the time off which made me feel a little bad but desperate times and all that.
The ball of anticipation building in my stomach gets bigger and bigger with each passing minute. The stern faced balding man sitting in the cocoon seat next to me seems to be totally put off by my seat squirming but I've long since pushed him and his negative opinions of me from my mind. We're both seated in first class on the exact same flight so he and his judging stares can fůck off. Granted I didn't pay for my flight but I damned well could've so my statement still stands.
Rolling my eyes I disengage from the staring contest we've been locked in for the past few minutes and turn up Machine Gun Kelly's voice in my ears. Something about his tone of voice always either calms me or gets me hype depending on the song and I need his special abilities now more than ever. My hands are shaking and my knuckles ache from how much I've been popping them but I have to get my anxiety out some way and if I walk to the bathroom again I think the air marshal might cuff me for acting suspicious.
My hoodie, sweats, and Uggs, although warm, don't stop the freezing feeling that's slowly covering my body. Breathing deeply I close my eyes and rest my head against my seat, it's been a long time since I was this nervous for anything. On one hand I'm excited for the possibilities that this grand gesture brings but on the other I'm nervous about what those possibilities are and if I'm truly ready for them. Fear of the unknown has always been a downfall of mine and matters of the heart are no exception, in fact they're the reason for the season so to speak.
One thing's for certain I want Harry to take me seriously. I can attest that each of my failed relationships in one way or another have been doomed from the start because whomever I was with didn't take me seriously. It's the most rigorous application process on the planet that I have yet to fully pass. If I did everything they asked of me I failed for being a pushover. If I pushed back and gave them shįt I failed for being too difficult. Even when I tried to be neutral and act like nothing moved me I failed for not being exciting enough. I was never enough because from the very beginning, friend, lover, or family, they didn't respect me. Mutual respect, if that's the only thing Harry and I can accomplish on this trip I'll be satisfied.
The seatbelt sign flashes above signaling it's almost time to land and a chill runs down my spine. For every time I remind myself not to have any expectations a new one runs through my mind. I just don't want to be disappointed, I hate that feeling. It's such a long way down once you've fallen from how high you built something up.
After we come to a shaky but safe landing we file out of the plane and filter through the routine that comes along with flying. I'm surprised it's so busy at three in the morning but since it's New Year's Eve I can only assume people are traveling for the holiday. You can always tell which people fly all of the time and which ones are newbies by the way they move through the chaos of the airport. You're either a graceful swan, dodging luggage and runaway toddlers or you're a flat footed platypus, hitting everything in sight, just barely managing not to trip over your own two feet.
As I grab my luggage from the turnstile successfully, I turn to leave with a grin a mile wide. I've only ever flown to and from California so this twelve hour trip to Paris blows that clean out of the water and clearly makes me a professional. I'm a platypus no more. Contemplating how I'll find a taxi at such a late hour as I head to the door, a familiar looking man holding a tablet with my first and last name on it catches my attention. He notices me at the same time and we walk towards each other meeting somewhere in the middle.
"Hello Ms. Duncan," he greets, taking his eyes away from mine momentarily to turn off the tablet.
"Dale how many times do I have to tell you? It's just Bailey," I smile, I've missed picking on him. He's so serious all the time it's fun to try and get a smile out of him.
"Sorry, Just Bailey," he replies in a serious tone, a small smile breaking his lips at his little joke, "Harry asked me to be here to pick you up and bring you to the hotel where the boys are staying so if you're ready we can go."
I nod and he takes my luggage. I should've known Harry wouldn't leave me to fend for myself in a strange city, especially not when he's trying to woo me. I hold in a laugh at the sight in front of me. Dale's about as tall as Harry but he has a bald head and a very stern face like he means business, however here he is carrying my bright yellow checkered luggage through the crowded airport. It's burning a hole in my gut holding in my laughter, so much so that a giggle escapes earning a playful glare from Dale. Clearly he knows how silly he looks so I zip my lips as to not embarrass him further.
The ride to the hotel is relatively silent, Dale doesn't talk much at least not to me. I've seen he and Harry have full drawn out conversations about nothing but with me his lips are virtually sealed unless we're teasing one another.
As we pull to a stop at the side entrance he gets out first to open my door and grab my luggage. He stops in front of me and sits my suitcase down on the ground before informing me of the floor and room number the boys are on. I thank him and start to walk towards the doors while he pulls off to park the car.
Luckily for me the receptionist is busy so I don't have to worry about anyone asking me questions. Everyone in the lobby and even the lobby itself is immaculate. The elevators are bright gold and the floors are shiny white marble. I feel out of place in my Victoria's Secret PINK hoodie, sweats, and Uggs, my hair is up in a bun with a ribbon tied around to tame my edges. I feel like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, I look like I belong in the lobby of a Motel Six not this place. I can't even pronounce the name but the décor breathes excellence.
The elevator doors close quickly shutting off the chance of anyone joining me which I'm glad for. As the doors open and reveal the third floor I'm in awe of the expanse of the hallway. If the halls are this big I can only imagine what the rooms look like. I wander a bit before coming across a familiar face that makes me squeal. He nearly runs back into his room until he sees who I am. A smile appears on his face so wide it takes over his features.
"Bailey!" Niall yells, his accent squeezing my name almost as tightly as his arms are squeezing me.
"I guess it's safe to say you missed me?" I wheeze before he lets me out of his bear hug.
He shrugs nonchalantly, "I guess."
I roll my eyes at him, grins still plastered to our faces. "I missed you too Neil. You know just because your friend divorced me it doesn't mean you had to too."
Quiet as it's kept my relationship with all of the boys changed after Harry's and mine fell apart. It sucked to lose one friend but five stung pretty badly. I understand though, I've done the same for my friends in the past. It's never personal it's just about your friend's healing process. My understanding it however doesn't mean I'm not going to give them all shįt about it, that'd be out of character.
As he fumbles over his words trying to find a response that absolves him a door down the hall opens catching my attention. I know it's him by the way my gut pulls downward. Confirmation comes in the form of his body emerging from the room in a white t-shirt and basketball shorts hanging low on his hips. My breath hitches at the sight of him and almost as if he heard the tiny sound he looks up and our eyes connect. It's like time stands still and everything and everyone is gone.
I don't realize my body's moving until he's getting closer and closer to me. My arms are wrapped around him before I can think. His arms are around me so tight their prints could leave tattoos behind. At some point I'm in the air, my legs wrap around him as he walks us back to his room.
Once inside my back rests against the door while my head lays in the crook of his neck and his in mine. We stay like that for a while, I'm not sure how long but when I slide down his body and my feet hit the floor I feel the blood returning to them. My eyes rest on his chest, I'm reluctant to look up and completely unsure of what I'll do if I look into his eyes.
So much is running through my mind. No one has ever been able to see straight through me like him and I'm afraid if he looks into my eyes he'll see the feelings I have for him there. Will they scare him off? With the way I'm feeling would that be a bad thing? What about my luggage?
Everything stops when he lifts my head up by my chin to stare into those hazel green pools of his. Neither of us speaks we just fall into another long hug as if we're making up for lost time. A foreign yet familiar throbbing in my sweats pulls at me, pushing me to let him go, gain some distance.
I walk out of his embrace and further into the hotel room. The furniture is all old Victorian styled but you can tell they aren't antiques from the modern edge they have. Light shines from the connecting bathroom and beside it is a wall of windows with a window seat running along the length of it. Paris is sickeningly beautiful at night all lit up. I walk over to the window seat and sit down checking out the view. I just need a moment to collect my thoughts and my hormones. A few seconds more of that holding and we would've been in a totally different predicament.
"Why didn't you answer when I called you?" I ask, referring to when I called after the Paris text.
He smiles, showing dimples that feel like old friends, "I was afraid that if you talked to me you'd say no. I didn't want to say the wrong thing and blow it so I let the ticket speak for me and show you how serious I was about seeing you."
"Oh yeah?" I reply because my brain's too fried to think of another response. I hardly got any sleep at home or on the plane, combine that with the initial shock of being here with him and you've got the mush that is my brain.
I try and fail to stifle a yawn as I watch him walk over to the bed and take a seat.
"Are you sleepy?" he asks turning to me.
I shake my head no knowing I'm lying but wanting to stay up and talk to him.
"Come take a nap with me," he orders softly, scooting back to the head of the bed.
A sleepy smirk slowly spreading across my face as I walk over to the bed. He looks tired too his eyes nearly closed as his arms extend in my direction, his hands making grabbing motions.
"Did you stay up until I got here?" I ask crawling across the bed to him.
He mulls his eyes lazily, giving himself away. "Maybe."
His answer makes my heart jump in my chest and decides for me where I should lay down. Without hesitation I enter his arms and we curl up together, his front to my back.
Sleep takes me quickly as I lie in his embrace but just before I drift off I hear him whisper in my ear, "I missed you."
~*~
By the time I wake up it's almost five in the evening and I'm in bed alone. Harry enters the room from the bathroom almost on que and gives me one of those heart stopping smiles.
"Hey sleepy head, how'd you sleep?"
I stretch and yawn before I answer with a smile on my face. "Fantastic," taking in his attire of a light denim collared shirt and dark jeans over brown boots I ask, "Where are you going all fancied up?"
He runs a hand through his hair before flipping it to one side. "We have to go warm up for the show tonight. We're running a little late but if you want to come we can wait."
I shake my head for one not wanting to hold them up any longer and for two not wanting to get out of bed yet. At some point Harry had covered me in the covers and taken my Uggs off so I'm nice and toasty. "You guys go on ahead I'll be at the show though."
He smiles and leans down towards my face but stops himself quickly and kisses the top of my head instead.
I can tell he's embarrassed so I don't say anything but God do I want to. He almost kissed me and we both know it.
"I'll let Hannah know you're staying and she'll ride over with you. She'll bring you backstage after it's over so I'll see you there," he informs me awkwardly before leaving the room.
Something is happening here that much is clear and I'm not sure if I'm ready for it. I know I won't stop it from happening out of my own selfishness but I can't help but worry. Sighing I decide to get up and start getting ready. My luggage is right by the door making me smile at Harry's sweet nature. He's always so considerate and kind, it must be exhausting.
Grabbing my phone from my carry on I decide to call my mom and let her know where I am, it's ten in the morning in Texas so she should be awake. As we talk I pick out an outfit, completely tuning her out at some point. I only tune back in to ask her if powder blue and red would clash too badly to wear. She then informs me that if they're solid colors they're always going to match. Her reassurance helps me to make my final decision of a pair of white ripped jeans and matching long wool coat paired with a powder blue cropped sweater and bright red boots and accessories. I get off of the phone with her to watch a few YouTube tutorials for my makeup and hair.
By the time I'm finished I feel like I stepped out of one of those Instagram accounts I follow just to covet their style. A knock on the door sounds not a moment too soon and I rush over to open it.
"Hello Bailey," Hannah greets, she's a lot more humble than the first time we met.
"Hi Hannah, are we ready to go?" I ask, avoiding any small talk.
She nods, "Yes, if you are. You look very pretty."
I smile and grab my bag from the bed, throwing my phone in before heading back to the door. "Thank you, so do you."
She looks down at her tan sweater dress, leggings, and boots before smiling up at me. We walk in silence to the elevator and even more silence to the car waiting for us. I don't think either of us really knows what to say but on my end I'm fine with the quiet. I don't think we'll ever be friends but at least we're able to be cordial after all that's happened.
The event center isn't too far away from the hotel so we don't have to sit awkwardly for long. According to the posters and flyers plastered along the walls as we walk to our side entrance, Ed Sheeran, Sam Smith, 5 Seconds of Summer, and many others are performing, including One Direction of course.
We enjoy the show from a cased in room above it all via televisions and surround sound. If these are what they call box seats then they're pretty cool although the vibe is totally different from the one on the floor with the rest of the fans. With this being my first time seeing 1D perform live I'm a ball of anxiety wrapped up in excitement. My stomach feels queasy, my heart is racing, and it's getting spectacularly hot in the cold room. I slip out of my jacket and thank the heavens my jeans have a high enough waist on them that too much of my stomach isn't exposed without the cover of the coat.
The room is filled with security for each of the performer's entourage. Hannah and I got a man and a woman by the names of Ahmed and Rita. They've been kind for the most part but like Dale they don't talk much. I want to ask Hannah if they're like this all the time when the intro to Clouds starts and I know the boys are on. They're the last performance of the night and although everyone else was amazing, by the eruption of the crowd most of the fans have been waiting for this.
As the performance progresses I don't bother stopping myself from dancing around. This is my first concert and I damn sure intend to enjoy it. Embarrassing as it should've been I didn't feel a thing, it felt like every song was being performed just for me. They seemed to sing all of my favorites from Kiss You to You and I, from If I Could Fly to Fool's Gold and Eighteen. The songs were sang in somewhat of a DJ mix, one song running into another, probably to save time. Nonetheless I thoroughly enjoyed myself and even some of the other people in the room danced and sang along with me, I even caught Hannah singing along.
Harry's voice catches my attention as he speaks above the cheers and random screams. He announces the next song is No Control and the stadium nearly erupts. Clearly it's Hannah's favorite song too because she springs up like a chicken as soon as Niall starts singing. We dance around separately singing at the top of our lungs until we give up the struggle and dance together. By the time Liam starts his verse we've moved right in front of one of the TVs so we don't miss anything.
When it's Harry's turn we, along with the rest of the stadium, are caught off guard when he changes the lyrics to his verse from, "And the heat where you lay, I could stay right here and burn in it all day," to, "And the crumbs where you ate, I could stay right here and clean them up all day."
Everyone else bursts into laughter thinking it's just another one of their crazy lyric changes like the 'Big Brown Poo' incident from years past but I know better. Until the wrap the song my dancing and singing is even more invigorated knowing that change was for me. It wasn't anything super romantic lyric wise but it lets me know he's thinking about me up there and that makes me smile.
I can't take my eyes off of him now, his personality comes to life when he's on stage reminding me of all the amazing times we've spent together. I've always wondered if his stage presence represented his personality well and it does, just slightly amplified. It makes me feel that much closer to him knowing that he's as authentic with me as he is with the fans he adores. As I watch him poke fun at the bored dad in the audience I can't help but beam seeing him be unapologetically himself and completely in his element.
The concert wraps with What Makes You Beautiful but before they can finish security has us leaving the room and heading backstage. It's so dark I can hardly see in front of me but we must've gone outside at some point from the freezing cold air that slapped my face. It takes a while but we finally end up backstage where the dressing rooms are.
It looks like a tornado blew through with all of the clothes, shoes, and paper slung across the place but the atmosphere is a lot more calm than it looks. The boys from 5SOS walk past with their security towards the exit as Ellie Goulding walks into her dressing room, it's like celebrity city back here. I knew what to expect but it didn't occur to me really until now that my friends are famous.
"B-Dizzle!" Liam yells from behind me and I turn around into a bear hug.
I didn't get the chance to see anyone but Niall and Harry since I arrived in the middle of the night and clearly the rest of the boys missed me like I missed them. I get passed around like wacky tobacco from one boy to the next all enveloping me in huge back breaking hugs. We dive into conversation, mainly me telling them how awesome their performance was and how exciting this was as my first concert.
"You'll have to come to one of our tour dates," Louis suggests, "Tonight was a little rushed, it's a lot crazier when it's just us performing."
Liam and Niall nod while Zayn cuts in, "Did you like the seats?"
I smile thinking about the VIP treatment I've gotten since arriving. "Yeah they were sick, although the vibe from down on the floor made me wish I was there."
Harry's voice surprises me from behind me making me jump, "I'll be sure to keep that in mind for next time."
I turn to him with a smile a mile wide. In the back of my mind I wonder if the other guys know about the muse behind his lyric change. The idea that they do makes me smile more, even if they don't I still can't stop grinning.
"You'll have plenty of time to listen to them humble brag later on," he informs me, taking my hand, "For now, it's New Years Eve and I want to celebrate with you."
My heart leaps at his words and the warmth of his hand. I don't know if I can find my voice so I just nod, agreeing to any and everything.
The boys say their goodbyes and wave us off as we walk hand in hand to a huge parking lot. We walk wordlessly to an all-black Audi with deeply tinted windows, the only noise is the roar of fans outside and the click of my heels against the pavement.
Harry walks me over to the passenger side and opens the door like he usually does but as I move to get in he doesn't let my hand go. Instead, he holds on slightly tighter stopping me in my tracks. When I turn to look at him he seems to be in a mental struggle that breaks as soon as our eyes connect. He releases my hand and softly presses against my stomach until my back is supported by the car. I know what's coming and close my eyes, bracing for it.
His lips are soft against mine as they caress them before pressing. Millions of butterflies take flight in my belly, so many I feel like I'll fly away but his kiss keeps me grounded. My hands find their way from my sides to the thick material of his Nike sweatshirt, pulling him closer to me. His hands frame my face as if he's afraid I'll pull away but that's the least of his worries. Kissing him feels like jubilee, like I'm finally where I'm supposed to be, finally home. His tongue doesn't have to wait for entrance. As if we're physically and mentally in tune I allow him in before he can even knock at the door. His taste is sweet like strawberry flavored gum and a moan escapes my throat. I feel him against me through the material of our jeans as our bodies writhe against one another like desperate animals. The intensity of our kissing is changing and we both can feel exactly where it's going so with two soft kisses to my lips he pulls away before we go too far.
"Wow," I puff, the word escaping my mouth with my breath like a stowaway.
He smiles a dimple bearing grin and repeats the word back, "Wow."
I smile back at him and he steps back to allow me into the car. He closes the door once I'm in and rushes around to the driver's side.
I'm in awe of what's just happened. I haven't kissed anyone like that since Charlie and even then it never felt quite that good. I've never had the breath taken right out of me and breathed back in all in one kiss. The feeling alarms yet fascinates me. I don't think anyone else in the world could make me feel this way and knowing that almost scares me off but I want to have tonight just to enjoy the moment. I'll think and worry about it tomorrow.
His hand clasped around mine, we drive around silently with the music on. I think we're both in shock. Had you asked either of us months ago if this was a possibility I'm sure we would've both said no. However, now the situation is here in our faces and it's unavoidable. He kissed me and I reciprocated we can't overlook that like we've been overlooking our growing feelings for each other.
The park is as empty as I would've assumed it'd be. France actually has seasons and it's pretty cold tonight but with our coats on it's just right for sitting together and talking. We step out of the car and walk along the walking trail together, slowly since I have on heels.
"I want to start by apologizing," he says suddenly, "I didn't give you the chance you deserved to explain and I'm sorry. I was just hurt, our communication was already fractured and I let my mind jump to the worst case scenario and for that I apologize."
It's foreign to me to actually hear a man take responsibility and apologize. I haven't had a lot of that in my life so I'm already thoroughly impressed with this conversation. However it's not in my nature to let people off too easily. "I accept your apology," I reply, not offering much else. I want to hear what he has to say without being prompted.
"Right... uh thanks," he stumbles before regaining control, "I also want to apologize for Hannah calling you. I didn't ask her too, she just thought she was being a good friend. She saw how miserable I was and tried in her own misguided way to make it right. When that didn't work she sat me down and made me read your story. I started reading it and couldn't stop, not only because it's great but because I feel like I learned about you from it. I felt closer to you by reading it so I read it from start to finish."
"Is that why you texted me?" I ask referring to the text during the time I was with my family for Christmas.
He nods, his body illuminated in the moonlight and distant lights of downtown Paris. "I didn't really know what to say. I was hoping you'd respond but when you didn't I understood, I recognized how big of an aÅs I was so I figured you knew as well. The ticket was a last ditch effort to try and change your mind and I couldn't be more glad that you came."
I stop walking and turn to him placing a hand to the side of his beautiful face. "Thank you Harry for apologizing. But I feel it's only fair to tell you that we're going to need to take it slow until I can trust you won't leave again. I hope that doesn't sound too clingy, I just have to be careful, you know?"
His hair tickles the back of my hand as he nods his agreement. "I understand. I'm not going anywhere without full written consent," he jokes, lightening the mood a bit, "I was wretched without you."
Hairs stand up on the back of my neck at his declaration sending a shudder through my body.
"Let's get back to the hotel," he offers, turning us around to head back to the car, "We can stop at the Eiffel Tower on the way back but in the meantime what's been up with you?"
I use the time it takes for us to walk back to the car and head back to the city to tell him about Damien's wedding planning, Whitney's bullÅhit at work, and Thanksgiving and Christmas with my family. I even tell him how my parents were looking forward to meeting him on Thanksgiving.
"I hate that I missed Thanksgiving with you and your family like an idiot," he gripes as he pulls into a parking spot.
We walk with intertwined fingers to the Eiffel Tower with only a few minutes to spare until New Years. So many people are gathered under the tower and around it, it's hard to find a place to stand. Some people have blankets laid out as if they've been here for hours just waiting for midnight to hit.
As we make it to a slightly less crowded spot I inform him, "Thanksgiving is a hit or miss holiday with my family honestly. It's pretty slim pickings and kind of the spouse holiday. If you really want to see the Duncan clan in full force Christmas is where it's at."
"Well we'll just have to make next year's Christmas happen then?" he says it as if it's a statement but it hangs in the air like a question.
Looking into his eyes and seeing the way the lights surrounding us dance off of them like well-trained performers I couldn't bring myself to say no even if I wanted to. "Right," I respond, making his eyes gleam brighter if that's even possible.
The countdown begins soon after. I watch him as he chants the numbers in French and takes in our surroundings. His arm is around my waist and his eyes are filled with a child-like wonder at the light show around us.
As the clock strikes midnight he looks to me and pushes my hair back before kissing my lips. Sparks erupt inside of me like the fireworks ripping through the night sky. His hand cradles my face softly and that connection is my anchor to reality. This feels like a dream. I've been infatuated with this man for years and by a chance encounter and clumsiness we were able to meet. Even through all of the trials we've been through together we're here in this moment lips on lips, connecting in a way that's much more intimate than anything I've experienced to date. Cat calls from a few people around us force us to separate with satisfied grins plastered to our faces.
I don't take my eyes off of his for fear of losing this unregretful attitude inside of me. "This is the first time I've ever had someone to kiss for the New Year," I admit quietly in case eavesdroppers are listening.
He smiles as if in some barbaric way it pleases him to be my first. "It won't be the last," he replies, and kisses me again.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
What's up my good people!!!!
I hope yall liked the chapter I definitely did! I tried to capture the feel of being at a concert for your fave for the 1st time but I struggled since I've never experienced it myself lol Hopefully I did it justice!! Also, we finally got some action!!! Harry said frick it and went in for the kill yall lol I struggled with how I wanted to write that part but I think it's to my liking. I've honestly had my mind so frazzled this month because of my surgery. It's this week but I'll try to work on the next chapter for yall so it'll be on time.
Also, what the fudge?? Yall have gotten Weightless to OVER FIVE THOUSAND reads plus I now have well over 200 FOLLOWERS! I just can't with yall!! Thank you :)
This chapter's Question...
What do you want for Christmas?
This chapter...
Yall!! I had SO much fun planning Bailey's outfit for one, like I need ALL of that in my closet PRONTO! But ultimately I had a great time writing this chapter! I did some reworking of the chap so if it's a little shorter than normal that's why. I'm very big on the flow of my stories so know any changes made were for the benefit of the book! Let me know in the comments if yall are pumped about Nailey and Harry finally becoming #Hailey and in case I don't get to tell you have a MERRY CHRISTMAS (or whatever other holiday you celebrate)!!!
This chapter's song...
No Control by One Direction. This one is pretty self-explanatory lol It matched the situation and the part in the chapter
As for new follower S/O's...
This time we have: GrammerNahtzi, GilinskyMendesDallas, JohnnishaLewis, KitaaJ, ReineEarl, NicoleMamphey, Saira2cute, KeShaunaWilliams2, Book_Lover_Arizona, eunicelovechocolate, myia13, Trendy_Taysha, JessiLynn920, NONINIGGAAAAA, blackgirl1234567, goldengirlajaya, JackieJemmy, ShaniyaGillom, Bredreaway, Mookie_babe, RaiTaylor, kittylarue, Noliacl, NaishahRamnarine and TanitaGriffin7!!!
Thanks so much for following and I hope I don't disappoint!
Invite your friends to read and follow and leave me some feedback in the comments!! I love hearing from yall!!!!
Until Next Time,
WBN