This morning was a dream. Harry woke me up with his head between my thighs and once I got off we started making breakfast together. We danced around in the kitchen while waiting for the tea kettle to heat up and as I swayed in his arms I felt so free. It's crazy how good he makes me feel. He's like the sun to me, warming my skin while seeping into my body nourishing me with his goodness. His hands on my body is a feeling I never want to lose. Somehow our innocent display turned into something much raunchier and he ended up taking me on the kitchen table as our bacon burned in the oven. It was the perfect start to my day.
After leaving Harry to air the smoke from the oven out of the house I headed to work. It went by pretty quickly today, thankfully. It seemed like I had just arrived when before I knew it I was on the highway headed home. Damien, Amita, and I had a chance to catch up over lunch and I filled them in on Harry and I and our relationship. I wanted their opinion on my hesitation to invest fully and as always they delivered. Amita, having been freshly hurt by her now ex, felt where I was coming from while Damien was totally confused. To him it's simple math, me plus Harry equals happiness, there's no room in the equation for any extra variables. Amita on the other hand echoed my need for guarantees within a relationship.
She was with her boyfriend for years and she thought she knew him better than anyone. He seemed sweet and genuine and was very good at pretending to care about her only to find out he was screwing around on her for months with the same heifer he moved into their apartment the second Amita left. Frankly, I don't think Harry would ever do anything like that but Amita thought the same of her ex. She knew him from their teen years, watched him grow from a boy to a man, grew with him, loved him, cared for him and he still betrayed her. The fact remains that you never truly know someone regardless of what they say and even what they do. Damien of course shut the conversation down since he's getting married in a few months. He insisted that the risk was there within any relationship, it's just all about if you think it's worth the potential hurt.
His words got me thinking. Is Harry worth it? Are months of bliss worth the potential years of damage?
Yes.
It's the only word my brain forms to the questions floating around up there. I know in my heart that he's the best thing that's ever happened to me but nonetheless I will tread carefully. I don't give a damn how wonderful he is, if our last argument showed me anything it's that he can fall short just like any other guy. I'm going to look before I leap regardless of anyone telling me to blindly jump.
Walking into the house I head straight to the bathroom and hop in the shower. It's a pretty hot out today and I don't want to deal with feeling sticky for the rest of the day.
The water heats quickly in the high-tech shower I've grown to love in my time here. Stepping under the piping hot spray I sigh, throwing my head back, eyes closed, as the water runs down my body. A low purr escapes my throat as I start to bathe, the steaming water loosening tight muscles as I lather up and rinse off.
"Jesus," I hear a voice whisper from outside of the shower.
Throwing water against the glass to defog it I see Harry sitting on the counter watching me; his hand casually, shadily, resting on his lap.
"Perv! I didn't even think you were home," I laugh, reaching to turn off the water. I was just enjoying the water at this point anyway.
"Oh don't stop on my account," he grins, "I'm enjoying the show."
I roll my eyes as I step out of the shower.
He walks over slowly with my towel and starts to dry me off. I secretly love when he does this I feel so pampered. He moves over my flesh with the towel catching every droplet of water until I'm dry. Finishing up, I hold my arms up and he wraps the towel around me then plants a longing kiss against my lips.
"Thank you baby. You take such good care of me," I smile, kissing his lips again. I can tell he's caught off guard by my admission but he doesn't say anything about it and neither do I.
"That's my job," he smiles proudly, "Now go put some clothes on before I really take care of you."
Chills cover my body at the darkening tone of his voice. As tempting as the idea is I'm still sore from this morning's escapades, so I hop to it, heading to the closet with a smack against my butt as encouragement.
"Put on something you can move in, I have a surprise for you," Harry says, his voice fading away as he walks out of the room.
I shake my head. What does this crazy man have up his sleeve this time? We went boxing after our fight a couple of weeks ago and it was insane. I thought we were going to go hit the bag a few times and come home but I should've known with Harry nothing is simple. We had a full on training session, learning new techniques and sparring, by the end of the night I was so sore and tired he had to carry me around all weekend. Okay maybe he didn't have to but who's going to turn down being carried around like a princess by their deliciously sexy boyfriend. He waited on me hand and foot; bathed, fed, and entertained me, I didn't have to lift a finger. I even got head on the regular because he felt bad for working me so hard. He's the real MVP for that, no doubt.
Passing by the couch, memories of my held open thighs pierce my brain forcing a smile to cover my face. I really think we're addicted to each other and I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing. I walk past our rendezvous spot and meet Harry in the kitchen, plopping down on a barstool.
"What are you grinning about?" he asks, a smile taking over his features as he speaks.
I shake my head and shrug my shoulders, "Just thinking about you."
He stares me down suspiciously for a moment before accepting my words. "Well focus sweetheart we have to talk."
Famous last words. My heart speeds.
"Relax," he laughs, leaning over the island to caress my hand, "You immediately went all tense. It's nothing bad."
I let out a shaky breath, "Christ Harold, you don't say that phrase unless shįt's about to go down. Everybody knows that."
He chuckles shaking his head, "If I'm not mistaken you literally just said that to me yesterday to talk about changing the candle scent in the house."
Rolling my eyes at him I cross my arms in front of me. "It's the middle of May and you're still trying to have it smelling like pumpkin spice up in here. Who does that?"
He waves his hand as if he doesn't want to talk about it. "Anyway, speaking of this month, have you forgotten what's happening at the end of it?"
I think really hard scrounging through my shoddy memory for important dates I should remember but I'm coming up empty.
"Jesus, Bailey don't hurt yourself," he laughs, "It's the charity ball. I think Liam mentioned it when we went camping."
Thinking back to those few nights in the wilderness take me for a loop, they seem so long ago. So much has happened since then.
"I think I remember something about that," I reply, "What's it for?"
He sighs, "Last year we became benefactors to this charity called WAC, Winning Against Cancer. The goal is to raise money to pay the hospital bills of people with cancer who can't afford them on their own. It's been a hell of a year raising money, we've raised seven hundred and fifty thousand and to celebrate the board of directors is throwing a ball."
The space where he resides in my heart grows hearing about his support of such a wonderful cause especially since my grandmother died of cancer. A charity like this could've really benefited her but I'm glad it's around now to help others.
"Wow," I breathe, "I'm so proud of you Harry. Really that's an amazing charity to get behind. Are they auctioning yall off to raise more money? I mean they're calling it a charity ball."
He smirks shaking his head no, "Don't give those old cougars any ideas. People can donate money while there if they want but it's really only being called a charity ball because a charity is throwing it. It's honestly just an excuse for the older benefactors and board members to show off their accomplishments and to try and out dress one another."
"So this is like one big prom for old people?" I ask with a smile.
"Basically," he admits, his dimples smiling at me, "Nothing motivates old rich people more than being able to show off how rich they are. Well, except liquor lots and lots of liquor."
I laugh before springing up to grab a bottle of water. I'd love to go. I really want to donate to the charity plus I love watching old people dance. They look like the Tin Man sans the oil can.
"Speaking of proms did you go to yours?" Harry asks curiously, pushing himself up and onto the counter.
"Unfortunately," I laugh, shaking my head at the memories.
He raises his eyebrow in question so I launch into the story.
Basically Charlie and I planned to go together however he said he couldn't because he had a textbook checked out that he couldn't find. At our school if you had any "balances" due to the school they either wanted their money or their property or you couldn't go so I was left dateless. Maybe a week before prom he found his book and asked if we were still going together. I had been lining up another date and told him so, however he responded that if he didn't go with me he wasn't going to go which of course melted my little naive heart. It wasn't until the girl that took over the planning for getting a party bus for our group of friends sprung the news that she would be attending with Charlie that my face got broken for the millionth time. When I confronted him about it he said that she asked him and he couldn't say no but he could take us both. I'd asked him the summer before our Senior year so when I gave him the ultimatum to choose between us I assumed I would be his choice, after all if he wasn't going with me he wasn't going right? Needless to say I ended up heartbroken again and to top it all off I ended up starting my period at the dÄmned prom.
"What a dick," Harry declares as I wrap up my tale, making me laugh. "You can consider this your prom redo then."
Standing to his feet he walks around the island to me before taking my hand. I watch him as he bows in front of me like a prince to kiss my knuckles.
"I would be honored if you would be my date to the ball, princess," he proposes, looking up into my eyes with those beautiful pools of his.
"But of course my prince, even though you sound like a bad fanfiction," I tease, holding in a laugh at our corniness.
"You would know," he jokes back dodging my swatting hand.
I point at him in warning and glare at him playfully as he makes his way to safety on the other side of the island.
"Relax woman," he laughs, sending a chill through me, "I can still take my surprise back if you want to be violent."
I roll my eyes. "Fine, I'll be good...for now. What's the surprise Houdini?"
~*~
Asphalt digs into the skin of my knee, ripping through the sensitive flesh with no mercy.
"Jesus fůcking Christ!" I yell, flinging the bike off of my battered body, "That's it! I'm ripping this death trap apart and turning it into something from Pinterest!"
Harry's face is rosy with all of the laughing he's doing. Worst boyfriend ever.
I snatch my phone from my pocket and go straight to the app. "I don't know why you're laughing! I've seen people make dream catchers out of wheels on here and that's the next stop for this demon! I'll pay you the money back later."
He laughs even harder the angrier I get.
It seems to be entertaining to him to see a grown ass woman struggle so much with something so simple. Every time I fall off he either laughs or tries to hold it in. I, however, doubt he's actually laughing at me falling, it's my dramatic reactions. I've threatened to shove the bike up his aÅs at least twice, I've attempted to throw it over the cliff behind his house, and I've cursed more than any of his neighbors have probably heard in years. I just can't help it. The frustration is getting the better of me and my words and actions are spewing out uncontrollably.
He bought us brand new bikes, a cool orange one for him and a gorgeous vintage styled one for me in mint. He even picked up an adorable leopard print helmet that's almost fallen off of my head with all of the tumbling off of my bike I've been doing. My legs are sore from the impact and now my knee is hurt.
"Don't blame the bike for not knowing how to ride," Harry interjects, picking it up from the ground, a mischievous look on his face.
I limp over to him, my knee really starting to hurt. "I think you know full well that I know how to ride Harold."
He grins at that before holding the bike up for me to get back on. "Just one more time sweetheart then we can call it a day."
Sighing I appease him, throwing my leg over the death trap. Sitting on the seat my heart starts to race. I poke a threatening finger at him, "You had better not let go this time or I really will forget how to ride. As a matter of fact I'll forget about any and all activities that involve your bicycle. Capeesh?"
He laughs and promises not to let me go, holding his hand to God.
I'd hate to have to hold out on him but it'd be the principle of the matter so I sure hope he means it. Lord knows he possesses my favorite ride of all time.
~*~
After coming in and nursing my scraped knee Harry fixes food for the two of us. I haven't had a scraped knee in over ten years, I forgot how much the damned things ache and burn. It's one of those annoying ones that's a burn just as much as it's a scrape so every time I bend my knee it feels like the skin is pulling apart. Harry felt terrible for laughing when I was really hurt so he cooked steak and potatoes saying the protein would help me heal faster. Anything I needed he was up in a flash grabbing it before I could even move my chair out.
I had to demand to help him do the dishes or he'd be babying me all night. He dries while I wash and soon we have a quick little system down as we talk.
"I'm just saying," Harry explains placing a dry plate in the cabinet, "If writing is your passion you should do it no matter the cost. You know you can stay here with me so you don't have to worry about any bills or anything. I just want you to live your dream like I'm living mine."
I smile at him before placing a quick kiss to his sweet lips. "Thank you for your support baby but I don't know. I feel like I'm just...I don't know, being held back or something."
"By who? Your boss? He can't force you to work for him and if-" Harry starts but I stop him.
"It's not him it's my parents. They don't think writing is a sensible career."
Harry grabs a soapy glass from me and rinses it before drying it off. "So?"
"So, they have expectations for me. I got the degree I have because it's what they wanted, I'm working a job they can be proud of me having-"
"You don't think they'd be proud of your writing? You're amazing Bailey," Harry cuts in.
I shrug, washing another glass in the warm sudsy water. "They've always thought of my writing as a hobby. If I call them and tell them I'm quitting my job to do a hobby full time they'd think I lost my mind."
"Who says you have to tell them anything?"
I laugh, "Right, and risk them hearing it on the news? You do still want me around don't you?"
He smirks at that, "Alright alright so you tell them, what can they do? What's the worst that could happen?"
"It's not about what they can or can't do Harry it's about making sure they aren't disappointed in me," I admit quietly. "Every one of my siblings screwed up in one way or another and I watched it break my parents. They had these high expectations set, these hopes, and I watched them get shattered three times in a row. I watched my siblings disrespect them and choose outside people over them even after everything they've done for us. Even to this day my sister only allows my nieces to speak to and see our parents if her husband's parents have seen them recently. None of my siblings call more than once a month, if that, to check on them our parents always have to call first. I watched how their actions hurt them over and over and I made a promise I wouldn't do the same. I promised myself I'd make them proud of me and make them feel like they didn't sacrifice for nothing."
Harry bites his lip before he speaks as if he doesn't know how to respond. "That's a huge weight you've placed on your shoulders B."
I sigh, the breath coming out shakier than intended. "I know. But I don't want to let them down, I'm the last child they have."
Harry turns to me, grasping my shoulders in his hands before pulling me into a hug. He holds me against his chest and I listen to his heart beat strong and steadily. "I don't want you to take this the wrong way sweetheart but you have a pattern of inconveniencing yourself to try and make other people happy. From what you've told me, you've done it with Charles, your siblings, and your parents, I don't want the cycle to continue. I want you to make yourself happy Bailey. I know how dedicated you are to your writing and I know your readers would support you getting published just like I do. Your parents may be shocked at first but there's no way they aren't going to be proud of you, they're your parents."
I don't say anything back; my mind is racing with different scenarios. The pessimist in me can't imagine any way this can work out in my favor but the side of me that's learning to be selfish about the right things doesn't really care.
"You know," I finally reply, pulling away, "I could say the same about you. You take care of everyone and everything else but yourself and what you want and need. It's admirable that you're so caring but eventually you're going to burn yourself out and I don't want that."
He smiles softly, "I like taking care of the people I love. I don't know if I could ever get tired of that."
I smile back but look away before my expression changes. I used to think that same thing but when people aren't pulling their weight taking care of them gets old fast. I just hope his everlasting patience can hold out.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
What's up my good people!!!!
I hope yall enjoyed the bonus chapter!!! I took a nap and almost forgot to upload but I try to be a woman of my word so here we are lol This chapter is to serve as a thank you not only for your endless support on this book and all of my others, it's to also thank yall for over 500 followers and 100k reads on Awake! I made a promise to myself that once I hit this mark that I would look into self-publishing a book and because of yall's endless love I'm finally going to take that step! Once again thank yall so so much, and expect another chapter soon :)
Also, I've updated the first chapter of Lost Secrets as another gift to yall so if any of yall have been waiting on Dre's story the 1st chapter is there for you :)
This chapter's Question...
What are your plans for the summer?
(I'm going to see Rihanna in concert with my best friend, having another surgery :/, and then hopefully working out lol)
This chapter...
Is filled with special little moments between B and Harry. I like to give the "drama" a break every once in a while and focus on them just being who they are with one another.
This chapter's song...
Bloom by The Paper Kites. I heard this song by accident and something about it stuck out to me. It felt like early morning messing around with your lover, like those little moments you have but don't really remember until you need them because you've fought or broken up or whatever. I don't know if these song explanations ever make any sense lmao
As for new follower S/O's...
This time we have:
annaaltobello, shaylovs, RaielleDennis, QuashannaBrooks, K_I_D_S_4_lIFE, and nellie575!!!
Thanks so much for following and I hope I don't disappoint!!!
Invite your friends to read and follow and leave me some feedback in the comments!! I love hearing from yall!!!!
Until Next Time,
WBN