Chapter 43: I'm Yours

Sundays have become one of my favorite days of the week– especially Sundays like this. Rain is beating down against the house creating a thunderous background track to one of the best days I've had in a while. We've been home from Vegas for a day or so, making it in just before the rain started up. Every time it looks like it might clear up the weather picks back up again even harder than before. It started flooding this morning so everything Harry and I had planned for the day got canceled. He was more than happy to reschedule his studio time and I was luckily able to hold my meeting for my new book via Skype. After that hour was up he and I had the morning to do whatever we wanted.

It's been near perfection since I closed my laptop. We alternated between watching movies and making love before showering together and washing each other's hair. Still wet from our shower we made breakfast and ate together while watching Orange Is The New Black on Netflix. By the time our stomachs were full and we'd finished the newest season it was mid-day and I was ready for a nap. I fell asleep against Harry's shoulder as he strummed softly on his newest guitar. He's been taking lessons and he's getting pretty good. The soft tune he strummed sounded familiar but I was out before I could recognize it. When I awoke my head was in his lap and he was softly stroking my hair while reading one of his more worn out books. He read aloud as he finished his chapter and the level soothing tone of his voice nearly put me to sleep again.

"Sweetheart, don't you dare close your eyes," he'd chided, "You promised me a game of Scrabble and I fully intend to collect."

I groaned as I got up but internally I smiled – I couldn't imagine anything better.

We ended up playing through two games of Scrabble with the TV on in the background for extra noise. All was well until we ended up in a playful dispute about whether or not 'vibey' is a word. Harry's currently asking his Instagram and Twitter followers if it should count as a word while I sit idly by laughing my butt off. It's the funniest thing in the world to me when he gets competitive. He's so serious about it I might just let him have it.

"Everyone's saying it's a word B," he announces after a few minutes of looking at his phone.

Rolling my eyes, I turn the TV up before getting up to get a water. "That's because they want to bone you Harold not because they're Webster's Dictionary all of the sudden."

He laughs, shaking his head, "You sound bitter."

"Never that," I reply, flipping my hair, "I actually get to bone you."

He grins up at me and I place a quick kiss to his lips before heading to the kitchen.

"You want a water?" I ask loudly, my head poked in the fridge.

"No!" Harry yells back, "But you can bring me more of those lips of yours."

A snort erupts from my mouth making me laugh harder as I grab my water. Letting the cool liquid wet my throat as I walk back into the living room, I come to a realization that sends a chill up my spine in the most delightful way. It hadn't dawned on me that I'm living out one of my favorite forbidden fantasies until I looked at Harry and saw the satisfaction on his face. The fact that he's as happy to be with me as I am to be with him is remarkable and makes me want to try harder every day. We deserve this, he deserves this.

"We should make it a house rule to spend every Sunday like this," I declare, plopping down on the couch cushion next to him.

He laughs, beaming at me, "I didn't know we had rules at all."

I turn slightly, looking up at him confused, "Of course we do Harold. I do the cooking, you clean, and give me sex every night. Now we just need to tack on mandatory lazy Sundays and the list will be complete."

"Oh really?" he grins, "Well what about morning and mid-day sex? I vote for those to be added as well."

I shrug, holding back a laugh, "That all depends on if you can get it up or not."

"That was one time!" He cries, his face twisted up in horror, "I was jet lagged and you know it."

"Right," I exaggerate disbelievingly, teasing him further.

"Keep talking and I'll show you better than I can tell you," he grumbles, leaning back against the plush couch, "Just keep it up."

I can see the recognition of his word choice all over his face.

"That's what I'm say-" I try to get out but a sneak tickle attack stops me mid-word.

My laughter fills the empty rooms of the house and my feet fly around like helicopter propellers. His face is covered in excitement as his fingers nimbly move against the flesh of my stomach like tickling is his second profession.

"Okay okay," I gasp, trying to grab his fingers and stop their motion.

"Apologize," he breathes, his voice heavy.

I stare him down and remain silent – taunting him.

His eyes bulge at my rebellion and he tickles me again making me scream out.

"A-polo-gize," he growls again breaking up the word, the looming threat of more tickling behind every syllable.

I gasp for air dramatically, stalling for time so I can look for an escape route. Somehow my legs have ended up on either side of his hips thoroughly trapping me. I sigh, knowing I have to admit defeat.

His eyes light with mischief, then narrow at my silence

I feel the first soft tremors of his fingers moving against me and throw my hands up, "Wait! Wait! I'm sorry."

"For what?" he asks, tilting his head to the side playfully like he doesn't know.

I want to roll my eyes but I can't risk getting tickled again – my abs are killing me. "For insinuating you can't please me. Forgive me almighty sex God," I plead sarcastically.

His eyes turn to slits at my tone but he doesn't tickle me again. Instead he slides his hands around to the small of my back and lifts me up so that I'm pressed against him, straddling his lap.

"I love you Bailey Grace Duncan," he whispers over my lips, leaning in for a kiss.

Reflexively my head jerks back, there's a feeling in my chest I can't deny any longer. I've been waiting on the right time when truthfully it's always been the right time.

Confusion touches his face at my reaction, but he never lets me go.

"Honestly, how dare you?" I harrumph leaning back slightly, crossing my arms.

His eyes widen and mouth opens slightly, "I-Wh-Huh? How dare I what?"

"Love me," I reply, shaking my head slightly, "I was doing just fine living my life without feelings and then you waltz in and change everything. I was happy not belonging to anyone and then you. You came in and claimed my heart the moment our eyes first connected. I've been perpetually yours ever since even when I didn't want to be - even when I begged myself not to do it – it was inevitable."

I feel my eyes watering but I push through. He's waited a long time to hear this and I've waited even longer to say it and get everything off of my chest. His breathing has elevated but he's not saying a word; giving me the floor.

"I was so scared to be vulnerable because everyone in my life has always expected me - needed me to be strong. My parents raised me to be self-sufficient and tough – to not ever depend on anyone but myself, to not need anyone and to damn sure not let them know I needed them even if I did. I didn't realize that there was a time and a place for that logic so I used to think I was so strong for choosing to be alone, like harvesting my pain made me some kind of saint. When I met you and realized what you were doing to me, what you were changing in me... I felt weak. I felt like if you pulled away at any moment I'd break so I tried to do it first. I tried to make sure there was always an arm's length between us but you've always, always held my heart in your hands even before I knew you had it."

It's hard to explain love. It's such a tiny four letter word that means different things to everyone who encounters it. To me, love is cuddling on the couch watching the walking dead together and having Harry cover my eyes for me when things get too suspenseful all while telling me everything that happens in that honey laced voice of his so I won't combust with anxiety. Love is having Harry accept me as I am, asking me to be no one but my true self. Love is apologizing when you're wrong and not gloating when you're right. Love is waking up knowing that the day will be okay because I have him to face it with. Love is...Harry – he is love for me. It took me a while to realize and even longer to say so. I played it off like I was waiting to make some grand statement but that wasn't not for him, that was for me; to deal with my guilt for holding back. The fact is, Harry just wants to hear it no matter the packaging it's what's inside that he wants. He's worthy of hearing it no matter the circumstances – all of it, every thought I've had and was too afraid or too stubborn to share.

I watch him soak in my words but I don't stop speaking, I feel like I can't.

"You're the first person who ever saw my pain for what it was and wanted to pull me out of it - not for you but for me. When I couldn't feel any more you set my senses on fire and they haven't cooled. I crave you, every single day and it never wanes, never fades. It's just as strong as it was the first time I realized you were special to me. You're in my DNA. I carry you in the depths of me I didn't know anyone could reach until you did. You pour so much love into me Harry, and if I can give even a part of it back to you I'll be a better woman for it. Loving you doesn't even come close to saying enough," I place my hand against the side of his face leaning my forehead against his, "My soul would search for you for you even if we'd never met – it'd be full of holes waiting for you to fill them. I've wanted to feel like this my entire life – even though I tried to fight it – I've realized; this is as right as I'll ever feel."

I watch him swallow, his mouth closed tightly, his Adam's apple bobbing quickly in his throat. His arms are shaking slightly as he darts his tongue out to lick his lips, "What are you saying Bailey?"

My lips raise in a smile and freedom fills my chest as I speak, "I'm saying I love you Harry Edward Styles. I love you. I love you. I love you."

His chest deflates as he lets out a breath he was holding, replacing his anxious expression with a wide grin. Raising one hand to the nape of my neck he whispers, "Come here," before pulling me in to kiss my lips.

Something about the kiss feels different – resilient in some way, as if by sealing my confession with a kiss it made our relationship more solid. Maybe his satisfaction and relief are melding with mine and forming something greater – I don't know. But what I do know is I feel pounds lighter now that he knows everything. I know my life wouldn't be a quarter as full without him in it.

As we kiss, our tongues and bodies entangling, my mind travels back to the first time we met – a part of me knew that my heart was home. When we first locked eyes – I knew. Even covered in coffee and ice, I knew this beautiful klutz was the love of my life. Had he walked away and we never spoke again, my heart would've loved him because it had found the missing piece. The piece of me that no other man has ever been able to provide – true comfort. I would've missed him every day after that had things not gone the way they did and I'm filled with gratefulness and joy that he took my hand in his and never let it go.

~*~

It dawned on me I hadn't looked at my phone pretty much all day when it started ringing out of control on the coffee table in the living room. I had to run from the bathroom with a towel wrapped around me to grab it and almost slipped. Harry and I consummated our newfound chapter in our relationship a couple times so we hopped in the shower after. He tried his best to keep me in the bathroom with him for another round but I ran off to grab my phone instead, and boy am I glad I did.

I have at least ten texts from Damien and Amita with different website links and a few telling me to turn on E! News. Grabbing the remote, I press in the preprogrammed channel and the first thing on the screen makes my heart stop. Dropping to the couch, the only thing I can hear is my heart beating in my ears.

My body in lingerie is plastered all over the screen. Some pictures are blurred due to nudity but I know exactly what it looks like behind those blurs. I feel like I can't breathe. There's no way these pictures could've reached the light of day. I only ever sent these pictures to one person and I can't believe he sold me out but the proof is right before my face. It feels like the room is closing in around me. My vision is starting to blur and I feel my heart pounding in every part of my body. I can't believe this is happening and I cannot breathe.

Harry's arms wrap around me tightly, pulling me back into reality. His whispered words cut through the pounding in my ears, begging me to breathe and to calm down. Slowly I start to relax and my faculties creep back towards functioning.

"Rewind...rewind," I can barely get my words out as I point at the screen.

As Harry follows my request everything becomes more real. The pictures are blurred here but I know, from other people's leaked nudes, that the real pictures are everywhere on the internet by now. My body is plastered across the screens of everyone who decides to look it up because I foolishly trusted someone I thought would never betray me – at least not like this. I've always been very protective of who sees my body and how; whether because of perceived flaws or otherwise - it's always been my decision. To have that choice stripped from me and my nakedness publicized makes me feel so violated.

To top it off the pictures are from high school when I was at my most vulnerable state about my body. I took a huge chance sending those pictures to him. It took so much out of me, so much trust, so much faith in him to even take the pictures and even more to send them.

I feel betrayed. I feel humiliated. I feel cheap and dirty and I shouldn't. I shouldn't feel any of these things because I didn't do anything wrong.

Harry reaches over and holds my hand tightly as the commentators talk about the pictures sent in from an anonymous source.

"These racy pics have set social media on fire, Tom," the red head commentator says, grinning with every word.

Tom, nodding his head with a smile to match hers, points back at their screen with Twitter's trending topics. "#HarryHefner and #HarrysPlayboyBunny have been trending pretty much all day. I think it's safe to say Harry Style's girlfriend has pulled a Kim K and broken the internet, Dakota."

"I'm not sure if you can call her his girlfriend anymore Tom. These scandalous pictures are actually coming out on the heels of engagement speculation due to the pictures taken at the Billboard Awards," Dakota explains, walking over to the screen to take Tom's place.

My ears perk up at the word engagement. I was so out of it before that I missed all of this.

"As you can see in these pictures," she describes, pointing at photos of Harry and I on the red carpet, "Bailey has a ring on her left hand ring finger that we haven't seen there before. We did however do some investigating of our own and it seems - as you can see in these pictures - that she's worn this ring on her right hand ring finger since February. We speculated that Harry gave it to her for Valentine's Day and that it was a promise ring but word around the rumor mill is the couple has been engaged since then and are just now comfortable with coming out with it. We've reached out for comment from both camps but haven't heard anything back as of yet."

Harry shakes his head and forcefully pushes the power button to turn the TV off.

Almost as if on cue my cell phone rings again with a text from an unknown 512 area code number. Since it's an area code from back home I open the picture message without hesitation thinking one of my family members may have gotten a new number. Instead of a greeting from someone I want to hear from I'm greeted with a screenshot of an online article discussing my nudes.

My heart pauses and my blood runs cold only heating to a boil when I read the words beneath the picture.

'Who's the coward now?'

I instantly know who the message is from and it makes me positively homicidal. I feel nothing but indignation towards him. My fingers move across my screen deftly as I send back, "Still You," before blocking the number he texted me from. I didn't save his number after asking him to meet up when I went home but he clearly saved mine to attempt to taunt me after committing the ultimate betrayal. He cashed in on personal photos I sent to him when I was sixteen. I was a confused baby and thought sending him 'sexy' pictures of me would make him stick around and be loyal. The only other person I've ever sent pictures to is Harry and if I wasn't trying to be better I'd find a way to regret it. I can't help but think that's what Charlie wants. He wants me to fear men for the rest of my life, to not trust them, not believe in the potential of the people who say they love me but what he doesn't understand is I'm done comparing everyone in my life to him. Why compare diamonds to sand?

Harry's hand hasn't left mine and just looking at our fingers grasping each other fills me with strength.

"Are you okay sweetheart?" he asks, apprehension on his face.

I realize he looks so nervous because he's thinking I'm going to revert back to shutting him out. That's usually the routine – Charlie does something to me or past trauma he caused resurfaces and Harry suffers because of it. I'm done with that and I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to him – making him feel as safe with me as I feel with him.

"I'm fine baby," I smile genuinely, caressing his cheek when I see his expression hasn't changed, "Truly. I'm okay. I know people are probably tearing me a new one online and I can only imagine what my parents will have to say about this but I'm okay. I made a mistake back then that nobody that matters will pay for right now. It's not like I'm the first person to have their nudes leaked and I won't be the last. Are you alright?"

He grins, letting out a deep breath, "Yes. You're amazing you know that? Absolute perfection."

I lean forward to place a kiss against his lips that gets interrupted as soon as it connects. He pulls away from me groaning as he grabs his phone from the end table.

"I'll be right back – hold that thought," he explains, holding up a finger.

I take the time to respond to my missed text messages and then make the dreaded phone call to my parents. They don't typically keep up with 'celebrity' gossip but since I became 'Harry Styles' Girlfriend – as if that's a job title – they pay a little more attention to it than usual.

My mom picks up on the third ring. "Hey baby cakes."

I smile wider than I have in a while when I hear her voice. My eyes are watering and it makes me feel silly and childish but the truth is I miss my mom. "Mommy," I sigh, not really knowing how to start the conversation.

"I know," she replies, saving me the trouble of saying it, "Your father and I both saw the segment on E."

I feel shaky and my hands are clammy like they used to get when I was in trouble as a teenager. "I'm really sorry." I really don't know what else to say.

"We'll talk about that when you come for Thanksgiving. You are coming aren't you?" She asks. I can tell by her tone she's telling me to come; not actually asking.

I wasn't planning on flying out but considering how much I miss her and my dad and Venom I think plans have changed.

"Yeah ma, I'll be there with bells on," I grin. It'll be good to go home again.

She lets out a long, "Mhm," before adding, "I assume you'll be bringing your fiancé too?"

I laugh at that, "Mommy we are not engaged. I promise you. That's just more bull crap rumors."

I can imagine her pursing her lips as she lets out another suspicious, "Mhm."

Her reaction makes me laugh again, shaking my head. I turn my head to see Harry walk in the room looking a little paler than he did when he left, taking me by surprise. I decide to end my call with my mom and see what's up.

"Mommy, I love you but I gotta go my fiancé just walked in," I giggle, rolling my eyes as I do.

She lets out a little laugh and asks me to tell him she said hello before telling me she loves me and hanging up the phone.

Harry comes over and sits on the cushion next to me before turning to look in my eyes.

I raise my eyebrow in question, silently pushing him to spill the beans.

"The first call was from my PR people, they're doing damage control on the engagement rumor and they're doing what they can about your pictures. They said more could be done if you had your people call them so they could work things from multiple angles," he clarifies, rubbing his palms against the legs of his sweat pants.

The attention to him having clothes on brings me to remember that I'm still in just a towel. Shaking the thought away, I ask, "And the second call?"

He takes a deep breath before running his hand through his hair. "It was my mom. She wants us to come to visit soon, maybe around Thanksgiving. London doesn't really have one but she wants the family to get to know you."

I feel a knot of anticipation building in my stomach. "She knows about the pictures and stuff right? That's why she wants to meet?"

The look on his face gives it away while his words try to reassure me, "She's been asking to meet you for months."

When he sees the disbelief on my face he wraps his arms around me and pulls me onto his lap.

"Honestly sweetheart. She knows how much you mean to me, ow much I love you. She's been wanting to meet the woman taking up all of my attention for a while. Don't overthink this okay?"

I can tell he wants me to be okay with this. I would love to meet his family, they seem lovely – and it's only fair since he's met my parents even if it was briefly. I think I'm the right amount of nervous for our rather eventful November.

"I guess we're going to London," I reply with an apprehensive grin.

Let's see how this goes.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

What's up my good people!!!!

I hope yall enjoyed the chapter! I had a time writing it especially in the wake of those Another Man magazine covers *FAINTS* lol It was mainly tough writing it because I updated to the latest windows 10 update and it f'd up my laptop. I couldn't log in without it blue screen of death crashing smh Also, school's been kicking my ass with all of these tests and papers *FAINTS AGAIN* SO f'ing ANNOYING! I'm also changing my major so who knows how much more work I'm going to have next semester *FAINTS IN ADVANCE* Pray for me yall lol

As always, the chapter is unedited so please forgive any mistakes!!

This chapter's WARNING...

DON'T UPDATE TO THE NEWEST WINDOWS 10 UPDATE!!!!!

This chapter...

Finally B tells Harry she loves him lol Yall have been waiting for this for a while and so have I. Honestly I wanted to do more/revise her 'confession'– I felt like there wasn't...idk enough but typically I like to go with my first draft of my writing, I feel it's more honest. Idk, let me know what yall think :)

The picture is from Harry's IG if yall didn't know. It gave me the idea for the scrabble part of this chapter. Apparently he plays Scrabble a lot lol

This chapter's song...

I'm Yours by Alessia Cara. I love this dang song yall. It's such a real song written by such a young artist - Alessia Cara is dope af for real. Anyways, this song I think is exactly how B feels and I tried to reflect it a bit in the chapter. I was going to pick a more emotional song, something slower but with the playful mood the two were in I feel that would've been ill-fitting. Hope yall liked it!

As for new follower S/O's...

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Until Next Time,

WBN