Chapter 45: Suffocate

"Baby why are you packing all of those sweatshirts and sweaters? You do realize we're going to Texas aka Satan's armpit. You'll be lucky if you need a light jacket," I laugh as I fold a pair of shorts and put them into my suitcase. I refuse to be fooled. November in Texas, at least in Graniteville is basically summer with a cool breeze there's no such thing as Fall.

"So you say. I just want to be prepared," Harry grumbles, warily removing a few of his heavier tops from his luggage.

Folding my olive green bralet I nod my head. "I know love, but you'll be fine with a couple of button downs. No need to get crazy."

He eyes my clothing choices and raises an eyebrow, "Speaking of crazy. I'm glad we're coming back home before we leave for London because you'd freeze your nips off if you wore any of that."

"The cold doesn't bother me. My dad kept our house like a popsicle growing up so I'm sure I'd be fine," I reply, picking through my boots, deciding which to bring. Texas may not get freezing but it's never too hot for a good boot.

Harry purses his lips, "That's what you think. Just wait until we get to England you'll change your mind quickly."

I roll my eyes. Now even if it is too cold for me to handle I still won't say anything – I won't give him the satisfaction. "Right. Well on second thought maybe you should pack warm. You know how you get."

Harry stops halfway to the closet and gives me a look. "And how is that?"

His expression is killing me, eyebrows wrinkled and bunched together his lips pursed with attitude.

"Oh you know. You just turn into a shivering sniffling mess the second the weather is even the slightest bit under 70," I retort with a devious smirk.

The look in his eye warns me to run before he can even move. We don't have time for this but that doesn't stop me from running around the house avoiding his tickle attack.

By the time he actually catches me and gets me onto the couch the last thing on either of our minds is tickling, packing or our impending flight.

~*~

The flight was smooth and a lot faster than I thought it would be. When we arrived to the air strip I realized why Harry was in no rush back at the house – we were flying private. He did the right thing in not telling me because I would've insisted he didn't waste the money. However, seeing my parents' smiles light up when we arrived half an hour early made me glad he did. They were ecstatic to see me and overjoyed to see Harry again.

We made one stop before coming here and that was at Harry's hotel to drop his luggage off. I'll be staying with my parents and since my siblings will be home as well the house will be at capacity. Secretly I'm glad Harry's not staying with us, his hotel will give me somewhere to go to escape the craziness, even if I will miss him being in bed with me.

"When are my womb mates arriving?" I ask my mom, plopping down beside Harry on the couch.

Harry laughs and my dad shakes his head.

"They are not your womb mates Bailey yall weren't in there at the same time," my mom giggles, "But they'll be here tomorrow. We wanted to give yall a chance to get settled in before the stampede."

I nod my head as I reach for Venom and pull her into my lap. She's been right under my feet since we walked in – after she gave Harry a sniff for anything nefarious and licked his hand in approval that is.

I feel like we're being extremely boring but I know I need to enjoy the silence while I can. Once my siblings and nieces and nephew get here it's a wrap.

"Would you like any help Mrs. Duncan?" Harry asks my mom, turning his head towards her in the kitchen.

"How many times do I have to remind you Harry? Call me Alexandria or Alex – none of that Mrs. Duncan mess, I don't need to be reminded of my thirty-year mistake," my mom jokes, a wide grin across her lips.

"Hey!" my dad protests, "I was the best mistake you ever made woman."

She waves her hand dismissively, "Yeah yeah yeah. But to answer your question Harry, I would love some help since my lazy daughter is just sitting on her blessed assured while I work."

Harry's nostrils flare slightly as he holds in a laugh.

I point a threatening finger at him as he walks to the kitchen, my happiness displayed promptly on my face.

My dad and I stay seated, watching Luke Cage on Netflix while Harry and my mother whisper to each other as they work behind us.

"You know," my dad mumbles, never taking his eyes off the screen, "You mother and I saw that interview the two of you did after those pictures came out."

My mind scrambles for the excuse I prepared. I knew this was going to come up, I'm just surprised it took this long. "Daddy, look-"

He holds his hand up, but continues looking at the screen. His voice low, "Let me finish. We saw the interview and although we're upset the pictures came out we understand it wasn't your doing. We're more upset with Charles than anything. You were young when you took those pictures much too young to realize the real gravity of what you were doing but he – he's an adult. He's more than old enough to know better."

Slowly I let the breath I was holding escape. I'm shocked. I thought I'd be getting the third, fourth, and fifth degree from them both – not a one on one discrete chat with my dad.

"We're proud of the way you handled yourself through this and we're even happier that you have Harry to help you along the way," he says, pausing, he finally turns to me, "That boy loves you Boobear and it's as clear as the nose on my face that you two have something real and special. Hold onto it. Fight for it."

Floored doesn't even cover it. My dad is a lot like me, neither of us is very good at talking about our emotions, so for him to leave his comfort zone to say that, means something.

Instead of answering verbally, I nod, meeting his eyes to let him know I understand.

He nods once and turns back to the TV just in time to laugh at a joke.

~*~

I hear the noise downstairs before I can even open my eyes. A smile slowly spreads across my lips at the sound of laughter and children's voices – my sister's here. Lina and I hadn't been very close until I got older – around seventeen or eighteen. It was then that we developed a friendship I never thought we'd have. I love her and my nieces dearly and absolutely love when they come around. I'm glad they're here even if they are interrupting my dreams filled with kids, dogs, a nice home in Calabasas and matching tattoos with the man that I love.

The man in question, in fact, has already sent me a text asking what time he should head over to the house. As I roll out of bed I reply and tell him to start making his way – I'd rather have him here by my side before my brothers arrive. I'm a bit nervous about him meeting them if I'm honest. I've never brought a boy home before and although it should be enough that I love him and our parents like him, I fear my brothers will cause tension in the house over this. I'm the baby of the family after all and even though they haven't been the most textbook brothers, that urge to grill Harry will still probably be there.

My door rattles on it's hinges as my sister and nieces beat against it like mad – their way of waking me up. They've been notorious for it since I like to sleep in and they like to visit early in the morning.

Throwing my phone on the bed I wrap up in my kimono and swing the door open making them fall through the door like caught eavesdroppers.

"What do we have here?" I ask, pursing my lips with my hands on my hips.

"Auntie!" both Monique and Jordan scream as they run to me, clinging to my lower body.

"Yall are getting so big," I gush, hugging them back. "Mo, I swear you get taller every time I see you. Jo, you look more and more like me every day are you sure you aren't my daughter?"

Lina follows them into the room and we're locked in a group hug. It feels so good to see them again.

"Jo, Mo, yall go and help your daddy finish bringing the bags in," Lina directs, an expression on her face I can't place.

Disappointed frowns cross their little faces making my heart ache. "When yall get back you can help me pick out an outfit okay?" I say to their retreating backs in an attempt to make it better.

I hear them cheer as they rush out of the room and down the stairs to finish their task quickly.

Smiling, I turn to my sister and raise an eyebrow. She clearly has something she wanted to say without them being in earshot.

She wastes no time getting to the drama, "Girl, tell me why MJ called me this morning bitching and complaining that his ex won't let him have the kids this weekend."

My eyes roll of their own volition. More drama with our eldest brother and his ex wife, surprise surprise. I don't even have to answer – Lina already knows how I feel about it from the look on my face.

"But that's not all," she continues, "apparently he got into an argument with his fiancé and she's not coming either. And to top it off, James' ex bugged out on him about bringing the kids so he went off on her and she threatened to call the cops. He's outside right now on the phone with her in his car."

I shake my head, sighing as I sit out my makeup on my empty desk. "Must they always bring the drama?" I ask, annoyance clear in my voice, "I'm so tired of their old ass relationships causing present day problems."

Lina shrugs her shoulders and follows me to the bathroom still talking as I wash my face. "I was shocked MJ even called. He said he was still coming but he was going to try and convince his fiancé to come so he may be a little late."

Slapping the light switch off I slide past her and head back to my room, the belt of my robe coming untangled so the whole thing flies behind me like a cape.

"If either of them are going to be annoying I'd rather they not come at all," I reply honestly, sitting down to start on my makeup. "I don't need this. They're always dealing with these unhealthy relationships at the most inopportune times. If they're gonna come in here with trash attitudes they can go home – Harry will be here soon and I don't want him walking into a damn warzone."

Lina nods her head slowly, sitting on the edge of my bed. "I feel you on that but you know how James is. He's already here so he's coming in – let's just hope his baby mama was bluffing about calling the police."

Twisting the cap on my primer I snap, "On God Lina if the cops show up here today I'm driving to wherever she lives and we're squaring up."

Lina's face lights with laughter and like clockwork Jordan and Monique come flying through the door.

"You're crazy," Lina giggles, leaning back onto the bed.

"You haven't seen anything yet. Let that happen," I say obscurely to leave the kids out of the conversation, "you'll see just how crazy I can get."

~*~

I'm glad I laid options out for my nieces rather than letting them pick an outfit from scratch or we would still be upstairs. It took them forever to agree on an outfit out of the three options I gave them and once I started on my makeup they wanted theirs done too. I was so glad Harry got caught in traffic because they had me hostage in my room for way longer than necessary. They asked a million questions about Harry and if we were going to get married and give them a cousin. I told them to stay out of grown folks' business but it was something to think about.

Would we get married and give them a cousin or two?  I hadn't really thought about kids in a while and although the idea of having them has definitely become less scary I don't think I have it in me to do the parent thing every day. Being an aunt is easy. You deal with the little rug rats when you want and hand them off to their parents when you don't – simple. When they're your kids you don't have anyone to hand them off to, they're your responsibility and that's what's scary; it's all on you. Add in the fact that we'll be living in California thousands of miles away from either of our families and the major variable that Harry leaves for months at a time for work and that leaves me doing the whole parent thing on my own. Could I do it? Of course I could, but it wouldn't be anywhere near as amazing as doing it with Harry by my side every step of the way. Uneasiness washes over me knowing this is something we'll have to discuss later and I'm queasy at the thought of the possible outcome.

My cell vibrates in my hand and two words highlight the screen; 'I'm here.'

Excitement easily takes the place of the nervousness I felt as I rush down the stairs. I have to open the door quietly so my family won't hear me go out. My brothers arrived some time ago and Lina's been running interference for me ever since. I want to get outside and talk to Harry before he gets in since I haven't had the chance to warn him about what he's walking into. Slipping outside backwards, I turn around right into Harry's arms.

"Sweetheart," he breathes, a smile crossing his surprised expression. Even still, he pulls me into a kiss as if he was expecting me.

The kiss is full of longing and I melt into it a bit further. It's easy to feel that we've missed each other but I've got to focus. Pulling away I peck his lips once more and place my palms against his chest. The soft cotton material of his button down tickles the pads of my fingers in a delightful way.

"Baby," I start, my voice measured and drawn out.

His eyes roll up to the sky then back down to me. "Oh no," he sighs, "You're using your bad news voice. What's wrong?"

Against my will, a giggle bubbles out – I didn't know I had a voice for bad news. "Nothing my love. Nothing's wrong it's just," I stop, sliding my hands from his chest down to lace my finger through his at his side, "you're meeting my family for the first time and I want you to be prepared."

Harry's concerned expression fades and is quickly replaced with a grin. "It'll all be fine sweetheart. I've met your parents and your cousin already this'll be cake."

My head is shaking before he can finish, "Don't be too cocky. My family is... eccentric. I don't want you to be alarmed if they're not super welcoming but definitely be on guard if they're too accepting."

His eyebrows run together in confusion and he opens his mouth to say something but I cut him off realizing how insane I sound.

"I'm sorry, I'm doing a lot," I sigh, trying to breathe out my anxiety, "I love you. Just be yourself - they're like hounds, they can sniff out fakeness."

I see his eyes widen before I turn around and start walking him in the house, his hand in mine.

In the foyer he stands to my right and peers down into my eyes, "I love you," he says, putting a smile on my face.

I stand on the tips of my toes to kiss him briefly, letting him pull the apprehension out of me. "You ready?" I ask, in a whisper.

He nods his answer and squeezes my hand slightly reassuring me.

A shaky breath escapes me as I think, "Game time."

~*~

Yesterday went so well – much better than I anticipated. I honestly felt like I would combust as I made Harry's acquaintance with my family. My sister and brother in law liked him well enough but my brothers were a little more guarded. I wasn't surprised that they reacted the way they did however I was thankful they didn't act out because of it. My nieces and nephew loved him right away, he's so good with kids it's unreal. It's like they can sense the sincerity in him or his endless capacity to love. Either way they kept him indisposed to the rest of us for the majority of the day. I was in the living room with everyone and as I got up to look for him I found he was outside playing hide and seek with the kids. Apparently he was the only one hiding and they were all doing the seeking. He was so annoyed at me for giving away his hiding spot behind the bushes by the back porch but seeing him lying there in the grass fully committed to the game made me adore him even more than usual.

It felt like Christmas morning when I woke up. That same tornado of anticipation that sits in my gut then swirls as I get dressed to go downstairs. I didn't realize how hard it is to sleep without Harry beside me, I barely got more than five hours. It makes me feel so co-dependent it scares me but it doesn't dampen my excitement to see him.

My door flies open, scaring the hell out of me, and my sister's head pokes in. "Leather pants? Really? What is happening to you in California?"

I roll my eyes before replying comically, "The same thing that's happening to you at home that's forcing you to wear those capris."

I duck just in time to see my fire engine red 'Obey' beanie fly into the mirror where I was standing.

"Thanks sis I needed this. How did you know?" I sarcastically ask picking the hat up before the hair Venom shed attacks it.

Her laughter fills my ears. "I can't stand you," she gets out through giggles. Shaking her head, she disappears from my door frame.

I shrug and grab my grey t-shirt. Originally it belonged to Harry but I commandeered it since I love the fit. It's made of a thin light weight cotton material and because it's his shirt it's perfectly oversized, not too much just enough.

As Lina walking down the hall I hear, "By the way your boyfriend's here."

Elation explodes in me like fireworks. I rush to put my top on and slip my beanie on over my wavy hair. I doubt if we'll go anywhere today but in case we do I grab a pair of pointed toe flats before barreling down the stairs. The Christmas morning excitement is back and as soon as I hit the bottom step I see my gift. He's wrapped in his signature color, black, with shiny wavy chocolate hair on top like a disheveled bow.

Immediately I drop my shoes and rush to him, throwing myself into his arms.

"It's been a few hours Bailey not a few years calm your tits," Lina laughs as she walks away to give us some privacy.

I understand what she's saying but it doesn't stop me from nuzzling my head between the swallows on his exposed chest or him from holding me tightly and kissing the top of my head.

"I missed you," I whisper, heating the skin of his chest.

I feel him shiver as he replies, "I missed you more."

There's a wave that passes through each of us, changing the tone of our reunion. I lift my face from his chest to see if he can feel it too. In response his hands slide to the sides of my face, pulling me in for rushed sloppy kisses. We missed each other in more ways than one and seeing him here looking as good as he does swiftly reminds me of that.

My back presses against the front door causing a moan to escape my mouth. Harry's hands, that have roamed to my hips, tighten against me as he devours my lips meeting my fire with a blind passion of his own.

Knowing it's only a matter of time before someone comes down or comes to see what the noise is about I pull away reluctantly. With our breathing rough and hearts racing, smiles ghost our lips. We hold each other in silence basking in the realness of the moment.

We've come so far together. I never thought we'd make it here to this doorway. There were a few times I thought either of us would throw in the towel and give up. I wanted things on my terms and he wanted them on his. I needed independence while he needed to feel needed. With our natures so ingrained in us I didn't believe we could make the adjustments necessary to survive together but we did. Changing is hard but it's easier to do with the person you love by your side. It's more than worth it, it's part of growing up.

After a few moments of silence Harry asks, pulling at the fabric, "Is this my shirt?"

Grinning coyly up at him I shrug. "Who knows? But if all goes well you can take it off and examine it as close as you'd like."

His eyebrow raises as his teeth graze his bottom lip. I can imagine the images flashing through his mind are pretty close to the ones thrashing around my head. We never have to go this long without having each other – it's created a withdrawal and I'm not trying to feel the symptoms if they get any worse than the dull ache between my thighs.

"Good afternoon Harry, Happy Thanksgiving," My mom greets as she and my sister zip back and forth from the living room to the kitchen.

"Thanks Mrs. D, Happy Thanksgiving to you as well," he smiles, his dimples making the ache grow just a bit more.

I bite down on my inner cheek hoping the pain will help me focus. Even as he greets everyone else I can't help but watch how the muscles his forearms flex while he shakes their hands. It's so subtle but with every rise and fall of the flesh there my skin heats. His right sleeve starts to fall from it's rolled position as if closing the curtain on my private show but as soon as it starts to obstruct my view Harry pushes it back up with his left hand. The subtle veins raised on the skin there catch my wandering eye, kicking my lust level up a little higher.

I feel like I'm going to explode all over the room watching his butt as he sits. I feel so thirsty and he's got everything I need to quench my thirst. Just as I decide I can't take it anymore, Lina walks over and blocks my view, pulling me from my position against the wall into the kitchen.

"You're staring like you're going to jump his bones in the middle of the living room Bailey. Jesus, my kids are here," she muses in my ear quietly.

Walking further away from my drug I start to feel myself relax a bit. I laugh at Lina's joke, "Girl he's over there looking like literal temptation – I don't know if I can make it."

Her cackle fills the kitchen. "I can't," she laughs, covering her mouth.

"What's so funny?" our mom asks, her mouth already set in a smile – ready to laugh too.

Lina and I share a glance. "Nothing," we lie before cracking up again.

Mama purses her lips, narrowing her eyes, "Mhmm, right. Get yall's asses in here and do some work all that giggling."

Her playful chastising only makes Lina and I laugh more.

"Cackling heffas," mama mutters with a giggle of her own as she continues chopping celery for the dressing.

As we work through to early evening we share so many laughs in that kitchen my cheeks hurt. Watching my mom pull the last of the desserts out of the oven, a peach cobbler, my heart swells. This is what I love the most about the holidays; the laughs, the memories, that special feeling of closeness. The times you have with your family during the holidays are priceless. Being here with them this way makes me realize how much I truly miss them when I'm in LA. I love being with Harry of course but no hug from anyone can replace one from your mother. I make a mental note to take time out to cuddle up with my mom and watch movies or something before Harry and I leave. I need some motherly love to last me until our next visit which will probably be sooner than later.

"Time to eat, yall," Lina yells into the living room, breaking my trancelike state of thinking.

A laugh erupts from my mouth at the sounds of the TV promptly shutting off and my dad asking Harry to help him up off the couch. I love that they're growing their relationship more and more. I'll catch him texting my dad or talking on the phone to him from time to time and it's the cutest thing. They're always so engaged throughout their conversations and that's saying something because my dad hates being on the phone and Harry's not exactly the mouth of the South. The two most important men in my life getting along makes me beyond happy and my mom loving him is the cherry on top.

"Your potato salad is by the fridge baby girl," mama says as she places her apron on the counter on her way to the dining room.

I smile at her thoughtfulness. I like my potato salad warm or room temperature so I used to warm it in the microwave before eating it. One year my mom saw me and had me explain what I was doing. Every year since, she's set aside a portion for me before cooling the rest in the icebox prior to serving it. That's love.

"Thanks mommy," I grin, as she kisses the side of my head before leaving.

Quickly, I grab my potato salad and head to the dining room, noticing Harry hanging back as everyone surrounds the table – the food spread out in the middle.

I slip in between him and James, who's looking uncomfortable, and sit my plate on the table so we can pray.

"Everyone join hands," mama says, gesturing her hands in the air.

Harry looks down at me with a grateful smile and slips his right hand into mine, his left into Monique's.

As my dad leads the prayer thanking God for the food and for all of our safe arrival home, I open one eye – peeking around the room like I do every year. My eyes connect with Jordan's and she's doing the same thing. I shake my head and narrow my eyes, a smile playing on my lips. She grins too, trying to hold in a laugh as she closes her little eyes.

Just as I start to close mine back I glance over at James and catch him glaring at Harry over my head. Harry's eyes are closed and his head is bowed. His hair that would typically be hiding his face is pulled back in a bun – my guess is so it won't get in the way while he eats. His ears however, are slowly turning bright red – almost like he can feel someone staring at him.

My nostrils flare in irritation. Clenching my right hand, I grip James' left so that he looks down into my narrowed gaze. We stay like that staring with annoyance in both of our looks. Just as pops finishes his prayer I close my eyes as if they'd been that way the whole time.

"Amen," we all mutter together.

I take one more look at James, warning him to behave, before I look up into Harry's eyes with a smile. "Okay baby, what do you want to eat?"

I watch as he suppresses the mischievous grin and dirty thought that clearly popped into both of our heads. He licks his pale rose lips, and rubs his cheek trying to wipe away his blush. "A little of everything," he finally answers, failing totally to keep the humor out of his voice.

I roll my eyes at him even if my lips are upturned as well. Grabbing a plate for him, I hand him mine with my potato salad on it to hold for me. As we make it around the table in a weird circular buffet style of serving I ask him how much or how little of things that he'd like and fix our plates simultaneously. The act must be annoying MJ because after every exchange between us he rolls his eyes. I ignore him and chalk it up to him being salty his fiancé stood firm in not coming today.

After an annoying unofficial game of musical chairs, I end up sitting with my dad to the left of me at the head of the table and Harry to my right. To Harry's right is Lina and across from us both are James and Mitch. I immediately cringe seeing the seating arrangement thinking James is going to make a scene because he's sitting by MJ. Sometimes he doesn't even like being in the same room as him let alone eating beside him but not today. Today however, he seems pleased as a punch with the arrangement, as Harry would say. I worry what that means as we go around the table saying what we're grateful for. I can barely hear the answers for hoping that my dad's presence so close will keep MJ and James in check.

"Bailey. Sweetheart, it's your turn," Harry whispers, squeezing my thigh under the table to get my attention.

I physically jolt at the heat of his hand but it does the trick and brings me back into the present. "Um," I bite my lip, knowing what I want to say but not wanting to gear my plotting brothers up. I decide on an answer with a nod, "I'm thankful for my blessings in my career this year and for all of the people that I love and all of the people who love me – even when it's hard."

I see my brother's uncomfortable glances from the corner of my eye as I look at Harry for the last of my statement. It was something especially for him but it could easily be applied to anyone. A small smile graced his lips and his hand squeezed my leg again with recognition.

I'm annoyed I was so lost in thought I missed what everyone else was thankful for but I don't have time to dwell on it. Almost as soon as we start eating and conversation starts flowing I hear, "So Harry," from across the table.

My stomach drops.

The voice belongs to MJ and although he's the more calm of my brothers I can hear the pettiness in his tone.

"What are your intentions with my baby sister here? I don't know if you've noticed but we're a pretty tight knit group around here – I'm sure we'd all like to know what's the plan for you two. I mean you're halfway across the country with her by herself," he says, stuffing a forkful of green beans in his mouth.

"I moved before I even met him, Mitch," I snap, my tone sharper than what I intended but just as sharp as I feel inside. Why are they being like this?

"I know that sis, I'm just saying-" he tries to continue but I cut him off.

"You were saying it as if he drug me away from here. I left on my own." I can feel my neck starting to heat with embarrassment and anger. I don't know why they're acting like they've forgotten my temperament with this type of shįt.

Harry's hand slips from the table to my thigh, giving it yet another squeeze. I can tell he wants me to calm down – and maybe I am being overly sensitive but I can't help it. As stupid as it sounds, I love him and I don't want anyone to question that especially not my own family.

"My plan," Harry answers smoothly, his voice unwavering, his eyes on mine, "is to love your sister until she doesn't want me to anymore. I see a life with her but there's never any pressure on her if that's what you're concerned about."

I wouldn't stop the surge of pride I feel if I could. In my mind I've sat on his lap, kissing those sweet lips of his but for now I have to remain seated and beam up at him.

"That's really sweet," Lina says suddenly, adding her two cents in.

I pull my eyes from Harry's and face forward, raising my eyebrows before flipping my hair over my shoulder.

Conversation slowly returns to normal and we go back to eating. My food is slightly colder than I'd like it but it's nothing new, I eat slowly so I'm used to my food being cold midway through eating.

"Are you planning on visiting your family this holiday season Harry or are they going to come to California?" Mama asks, sipping from her wine glass.

Harry washes down his food with a swig from his own glass before answering. "Yes ma'am. Bailey and I are actually going to visit a little after we get home. I'm pretty excited."

My mom smiles, nodding her head, "That's nice. I'm sure Bailey is excited she really enjoyed England before."

"Yeah, I'm pumped," I answer, cutting a piece of ham so I can put it on a fork with a few green beans. "I'm glad we're going to be home for a few days in between though – I need to pick up some new clothes."

At this James' attention is peaked again. "And why is that?" he asks, "Because you're going to see his family?"

I roll my eyes and glare at him, "No, because it's cold as hell in the UK this time of year and I live in California – there is no winter. Smart one."

"Be nice," dad grumbles before returning to his meal.

He hasn't seen mean. Let James and MJ keep up with the bullshįt.

James glares at me before opening his mouth to speak, "Speaking of your family. How do they feel about you dating a black girl?"

Harry stiffens at James' tone and I'm seeing red.

"You say it like it's a dirty word," Harry says, then repeats the word the way James did, "Black. They don't feel like anything. They know how I feel about Bailey and they're happy for us. My family isn't one that judges anyone by the color of their skin."

"Your fans sure as hell do," James grumbles, raising a questioning eyebrow.

"They aren't my family," Harry snaps, his voice is calm but I can tell he's annoyed by the way he grips my thigh.

The tension in the room hangs comforter thick both Harry and James staring at each other, James glaring while Harry sits seemingly unbothered but not backing down.

"Alrighty then," Lina nearly shouts, "Who wants dessert? Bailey, mama help me with the desserts."

It's not a question there's distinct demand in her voice but I don't want to leave Harry's side. I'm proud of him for standing up to James, but I know James there's only so much talking he's going to do before he wants to fight.

Lina walks behind my chair and pulls it out for me, giving me no choice but to come with her and mama. Harry and I share a look and he nods slightly letting me know he's good.

As soon as we get in the kitchen I bulge my eyes at Lina.

"Are they serious right now?" she whispers so we aren't overheard.

Shaking my head, my nostrils flare. "I'm pissed. James must've forgotten I will pop him in the mouth. I'm not going to allow him to keep disrespecting Harry. MJ can catch a fade too while I'm at it. He started the shįt," I fume, pacing back and forth to walk off my anger.

"Calm down baby girl," mama soothes, "Your brothers are just being protective although they could be a bit more...subtle."

I want to tell her I don't want to hear that shįt but as my mama I have to respect what she's saying. Instead of saying anything at all, I nod my understanding to keep myself from slipping up.

"Now," Lina sighs, hands on her hips, "Are we going to carry all of these in there or just serve one. I didn't really think through how many desserts we actually have before I deployed that distraction."

Her admission makes me smile, lifting my mood a bit. "Let's just take out peach cobbler and if anybody wants anything else they can come in and get it."

We're in agreeance as we start plating the cobbler and taking it out.

"We're out of plates after this one," mama says, handing me the last plate for my piece of cobbler.

She walks closely behind me as we walk into the dining room, both of us carrying a plate in each hand.

"I can go get some more in a bit if you want," I reply, sitting a plate down in front of Harry as I take my seat beside him.

"Your daddy and I will go," she answers and I internally sigh.

I was hoping to get some alone time with Harry especially after everything that's happened.

To my surprise we don't have any other flare ups although James did glare Harry and I down as I accidently revealed we were living together full time now.

I couldn't care less. In fact, I fed Harry the last spoonful of my cobbler and promised to make him one once we got back home. Emphasizing the word with a glance over my shoulder.

My parents leave soon after under the guise of buying plates and cups. Personally, I think they just wanted to avoid the tension in the house for a while and for that I can't blame them.

Things have been calm since they left. The TV is on but I don't think anyone is really watching. My eyes dart around the room and I keep catching everyone looking at the love seat Harry and I are on. Whether they're looking at me or him I don't know but either way it's bugging the hell out of me.

As a commercial break starts Lina's husband, Ashton, suggests we play a game of spades or charades or something.

The idea is immediately shot down but I give him a grateful smile anyway. At least he tried to lighten the mood.

I find myself counting the moments until Harry leaves for his hotel and contemplate going with him. I want to be with him tonight anyway and I don't trust my self-control staying in a house with my brothers. They just may catch a two-piece.

"I didn't want to bring this up in front of mama and daddy but is this some type of fetish thing?" James asks suddenly.

I react as if cold water was splashed in my face, my expression shocked.

"And what about all this 'Larry' shįt? Are you using my sister as a beard?" Mitch asks, an eyebrow raised.

My body flames in embarrassment. I knew they'd do their research but to wade into Larry territory. My head hurts.

"No, our almost year long relationship is not a fetish. And as for the Larry thing it's completely untrue," Harry replies not missing a beat, "Our fan base takes our friendships a little too far. Mine and Louis' especially since we were roommates."

Mitch looks unconvinced and unimpressed.

"I've seen the footage of yall on stage. Sure is a lot of dįck grabbing to be homeboys. All of that sounds gay as fůck to me. I mean look at how tight your jeans are," James rants, gesturing to Harry's signature black skinnies, "What kind of man are you?"

Harry breathes out through his nose, trying to gain control of his annoyance. "The kind that loves your sister," he replies calmly.

"And fûcks me on the regular," I snap, earning a shrill laugh from Lina and glares from Harry and my brothers. "Mind your dḁmn business James I didn't bring him here for this!"

"Love -," Harry starts, a warning in his tone.

"No Harry," I stop him and turn to James and Mitch, "You both have been aŝsholes all day and now here you are over here questioning everything he's ever done while joking around with his friends. We're from different cultures and countries so they aren't going to behave the way you think they should."

"All I'm saying is I've never hit my niggas in the dįck and laughed about it or stared into his eyes like we're in love and shįt. That shįt is gay or bi or something," James rebuts, folding his arms over his chest.

"And if it is? Everyone involved is a consenting adult and it was all before me. You act like it's some crime to be gay or bisexual. Hell, I've messed with girls before. Am I gross to you too now?" I all but yell, straining against my control. It's a small lie to pay for the silence I'm met with.

Everyone's eyes, including Harry's, are huge and on me. It makes me anxious as hell but I won't back down, not when they're ganging up on him like this about some shit that's out of his control. He can't help what his fans say or do. And I won't let their ignorance create a rift between us, not when we're in such a good place.

Just as James is about to respond our parents come through the front door saving Harry from witnessing the blowup that's bound to happen at some point. I only hope it goes down when he's not here.

~*~

After Harry left for his hotel my parents had a talk with my brothers and I. They basically told us to squash it and told my brothers to accept that I was happy and reminded them how I kept a closed mouth when it came to both of their ex-wives.

As my brothers left out of the room my parents told me that they were proud of me not just for keeping most of my cool today but just in general. We had a heart to heart and they finally let me know why they were so hard on me about writing. They informed me that it wasn't because they didn't believe in me it was because they know how hard the world can be and wanted to protect me by giving me another option because if I wake up one day and decide I won't ever write again they didn't want me to be stuck out with no Plan B to get by.

They told me how everyone was so proud of me for achieving my dreams, that not only were they proud but they were inspired. They reminded me that what my brothers are doing now, although they may be happy, is not their dream and they may be a little jealous. They gushed about how I'd achieved everything I set my mind to from graduating to moving to LA to writing professionally – even being with Harry; these were all dreams I made a reality.

They admitted that they were hard on me when I was younger but they didn't apologize for that. They wanted me to be strong and to set goals for myself in the same firm, unmoving, way so that I wouldn't settle or ever want for anything. Their goal was for me to be able to go out and get it on my own, not having to wait on handouts from anyone.

Ending our talk, we all laid in bed watching movies until they fell asleep, but they did manage to tell me that they're supportive of me writing or working a 9-5 they just want me to be happy. They also had a copy of my book each and asked me to sign them which made my night.

Lying in bed I talked to Harry until I fell asleep and awoke to him singing in my ear to get, his words, 'my gorgeous aŝs out of bed.' I didn't realize how much I missed waking up to him until I finally got a chance to.

I told him he could stay at his hotel today since my mom, sister, and I were having a girl's day but he informed me he and my dad had plans to binge watch Daredevil so he was coming. I felt a sense of dread in my gut as I hung up the phone but I pushed it aside and got up to get ready.

Once I finish dressing, I walk carefully downstairs; these heels are just the right height to get me to fall flat on my face. I can hear Harry's voice and it makes me frown – no one told me he was here.

As my heels hit the tiled floor of the foyer Harry rounds the corner to greet me. "Hello beautiful."

I smile at his compliment, my grin only widening as he takes in my short shorts and thigh high boots.

"What are you all going to do again today?" he asks, his eyes trained on my body.

Untucking my overly large plaid button up, it falls down over my exposed skin, apparently satisfying his flare of jealousy.

"We're going to get our nails and toes done and do some shopping and probably grab lunch, maybe dinner if we're out late enough," I reply with a small grin meeting my red lips.

"You don't have a purse?" Harry asks, trying to sound inconspicuous.

My eyes turn to slits, "No and I know what you're trying to do. It's not going to work so don't even try."

At home whenever I tell him I'm going shopping he always finds the purse I'm taking and sticks one of his cards in it. I've gotten to the point now where I don't even tell him I'm going shopping I just go and come home with bags, much to his dismay.

"Sweetheart," he sings, deepening his voice, trying his best to charm me, his card in his hand, "Just be a good girl and take it."

A thrill shoots straight up from my sex at his words but I don't let that tricky tongue of his twist me up. "I'm not taking your card Harry," I declare pushing the Amex back into his hand.

"Sweetheart, please. I want to do something nice for you ladies, let me do it," Harry pleads, holding the card out to me again.

I shake my head no but before I can push the card back it's snatched out of his fingers.

"Listen to your man Bailey," Lina says in a daze, gawking at the plastic between her fingertips.

My eyes widen and just as I'm about to yell for her to come back, Harry captures my lips in an earth stopping kiss. He's never kissed me in front of my family before, it's thrilling yet frightening at the same time. My heart pounds in my ears so loudly even if anyone would complain I wouldn't hear them. By the time he releases my lips I've forgotten what I was mad about just long enough for him to make his next move.

He glides his thumb across my bottom lip slowly as he speaks, his face still inches away from mine, "If you have any trouble using the card have them call me."

I nod my head knowing he's not going to let this go. He loves this, showing how well he can provide for me.

"How much can we spend?" Lina asks from behind me making me whip my head around to glare at her in the doorway. She just shrugs and Harry laughs.

"Go nuts," he replies to an overjoyed Lina. We watch her rush out the door and Harry snickers shaking his head.

"I don't know why she's so excited. I'm making her un-ass that card the second I get in the car," I grumble making Harry laugh again.

"Be nice love. Let her have fun," he replies then whispers into my ear, "Maybe if they have fun today they'll let us have fun tonight."

That makes me grin, he's a sneaky little bastard. "Plying them with food and clothes won't help. It'll take a miracle for them to let me out of here tonight but nice try," I reply, loving how it feels to be in his arms with nothing between us.

It was never other people or time or space that put distance between us, it was baggage. Now that it's stowed away every kiss is more meaningful, every hug is sweeter, safer, and when we make love it's like we're the only two people on the planet.

A horn blows outside catching my attention. "I'd better go, the villagers are getting restless."

He smirks greeting the moment with his right dimple then leans in to kiss me. The first two kisses are quick but the third lingers just long enough that the horn outside blows again.

I sigh and roll my eyes, "I'll see you later. Don't hesitate to call me if somebody isn't behaving."

"I'll be just fine my love. Go, have fun, I'll be here when you get back."

We share one more brief kiss before I rush outside to the car.

~*~

I've had to argue with Lina all day about spending money like crazy on Harry's card. He never should've told her to go nuts because she's bout everything from food to a clothes steamer. I drew the line at anything over two hundred dollars and mama backed me up. I couldn't be happier that we're heading home. On the one hand because I'm sick of Lina on the other because I'm itching to see Harry.

To say I've missed him today is an understatement. I have such a love-hate relationship with this need I feel for him. On the one hand I love it, it makes me feel connected to him even when we're apart but on the other I wonder when it's going to go away. As a couple Harry and I have been through it but personally we have as well.

The familiarity that passes my face as my mom drives makes me smile and surprisingly it's not a sad grin. Being here in the origin of my story brings me full circle. I can see the girl I used to be and the woman that I am now. I can see the similarities in our sense of humor and style but comparing the two emotionally is like night and day. I'm able to trust again and love smarter but freely. I no longer feel like I have to shoulder not only my worries but the worries of the people I love. It's all still a heavy process but I'm making changes and gains every day. I don't want to be a victim anymore. I want to be strong and weightless and free. Harry helped me see that and slowly he's helping me achieve it.

I decide, as we pull into the driveway, that's why I love him so much. I'm damn near giddy as I hop out of the car. Lina rushes ahead of me, probably to get Ashton to move her stuff from mama's car to theirs – I roll my eyes.

As I make it to the door, Ashton and Lina rush past me and when I turn around they're whispering something to mama. My heart starts to speed and my thoughts begin to race. What in the hell is going on?

I jog as best I can in these boots through the door, hearing mama call my name as I make it inside.

The living room is dead when I walk in. No one is looking at me, no one speaks – it's near silent. The only sound that can be heard is from the kids upstairs and Venom's snores in her bed by the TV.

"What's up?" I ask, afraid of the answer. I know something's wrong. Harry won't even look at me and neither will my dad. It doesn't get by me that they're the only ones in the space.

I walk around the couch to look Harry in his face but he turns it to the side so I can't see. I, however, see blood down the front of his yellow sweatshirt and know exactly why he's hiding his face.

Grabbing him by the chin, I turn his face around – with more force than intended – so I can see the damage.

"Ow, babe," Harry winces, grabbing my hand.

I let him go, my hands flying to cover my mouth. "Oh my God."

All I can see is red.

"Where is he?" I yell, taking off to look for him, "James!"

Harry's hot on my heels as I search every room of the house desperately trying to find my brother.

Harry tries to reason with me, "It's okay Bailey. I gave as good as I got. Relax. There's no need for any more violence."

"I just want to talk," I lie, my breathing uneven as I peek into the room James was staying in last night.

"Right," Harry retorts as we trudge downstairs, "I'm sure you're searching around like mad to talk to him. Baby please."

"Baby please what Harry?" I snap, throwing my hands up, "Look at your face. Have you seen your eye? Your nose and lip are swollen – there's still blood in one nostril! How are we going to explain this to your parents huh? Did you forget we see them in less than a week? Jesus!"

Harry honestly looks scared and that only makes me angrier. He shouldn't have to have that look on his face right now. "We'll blame it on my boxing practice – it'll be fine. Please just calm down."

Just as the words come out of his mouth James walks through the front door with the rest of the family in tow. MJ sees me a moment too late because I'm already punching James as many times as I can before we're pulled apart. Harry has me from behind, his arms wrapped around mine so I can't swing anymore and MJ is in front of James ready to block any more hits.

"I'm fine," I say calmly to Harry but he can hear the tremble in my words and doesn't let me go.

MJ and James walk a little further into the house and Harry's arms loosen a bit as they walk past us. I take the opportunity to break free of Harry and go for James again.

Although MJ is the tallest member of the family, the heels I have on give me a good height advantage and before Harry can grab me again. I come over the top of MJ and the side and pop James twice more in the top and side of his head.

"You punk bitch!" I scream as Harry grabs me up again, lifting me in the air to get me away faster.

James tries to explain to me why he and Harry fought but I'm not trying to hear it.

"Be glad he's holding me back or I'd fůck that other eye up!" I yell, seeing Harry must've gotten him in the right eye and the lip as they're both swollen.

"Please get her out of here," mama says, trying to calm the situation.

Harry all but carries me out to the car and sits there holding my hand until Lina brings me out something to sleep in and a change of clothes.

I'm so glad we're leaving tomorrow. I'm coming to get my shįt in the morning and leave. Our flight doesn't leave until mid-day but I'll be damned if I spend time with that fool inside. I absolutely cannot believe him. There have been plenty of floozies he's brought around that I wanted to put hands on but I never did out of respect for him. I'm pissed that he hit my boyfriend but I'm even more angry that he has zero respect for me.

The ride to the hotel and the trip in the elevator are both dead silent. I'm ashamed of the way I acted but I don't regret it. James and I used to fight all of the time growing up but this was different. This time he crossed a line that can't be forgiven in a matter of hours and I'm sure I crossed some too. The healing for this blow up is going to go way passed any physical scars.

Harry helps me out of my shoes, the pain of all the activity I'd done in them today finally kicking in now that my adrenaline isn't sky high. Carrying me to the bathroom he showers with me, mostly to help me stand on my aching feet.

I watch as the water runs over and down his head. The beads of moisture speed past his slowly swelling eye, down to his unnaturally red nose, and over his plumper than usual bottom lip. I feel like shįt looking at his battle wounds. Had I never left him, hell, had he never come here with me he wouldn't look like he did a round with Mayweather.

As if sensing my thoughts – or maybe he could read them on my face – Harry pulls me in tightly to him. The water falls down over the both of us, warm and comforting.

"I'm okay Bailey. I'm completely and totally fine. I love you. I'm fine, we're fine," Harry soothes, holding me flush to him.

I'm glad we're under the water as I feel my tears start to flow. Although I try to hold it in so my voice doesn't give me away I can't stop myself from apologizing. "I'm so so sorry Harry. If it wasn't for me -"

He stops me mid-sentence, "Woah, woah. If it wasn't for you I wouldn't wake up with such a smile on my face, if it wasn't for you I wouldn't know what unconditional love is like, if it wasn't for you the last year of my life would've gone by in a blur like the rest. It's because of you that these scars don't mean shįt. You're what means something. I love you – every little crazy thing about you and the way you fought for me today shows me I'm not alone in that feeling. So none of that 'if it wasn't for me' talk. I would be numb if it wasn't for you."

I don't know what to say. As is customary with this man he's left me speechless. I instead let my body do the talking and together we let out every bit of frustration, longing, and angst we've felt over the last few days over and over again.

~*~

Harry wouldn't tell me why he and James fought. He seemed ashamed whenever I brought it up so I just stopped. Not that we had much time to talk anyway with all of the love making we were doing. It's like he had it stored up just waiting on me but I can't complain.

After another round we dressed, packed Harry's car with his stuff and drove to my parents' place. The plan was for us to take everyone out for breakfast before we left but after yesterday I don't think anyone will be up for that, especially me. I'm still not certain that I can control myself if James and I are in the same room. I keep trying to remind myself that he's my brother but that only makes it worse. The fact that he's my blood and did this makes it so much more of a slight.

"Are you going to behave today?" Harry asks, a smile on his face as we stop in the driveway.

I roll my eyes. How he's able to be over this so fast is beyond me. Anytime someone puts hands on me we're enemies forever.

"Maybe," I reply, shrugging my shoulders.

With pursed his lips gives me a narrow eyed look. "You'd better or they'll be punishment for you later on," he says, a dirty grin on his lips.

"It's not punishment if I like it," I smirk, leaning in for a much needed kiss.

He raises an eyebrow, "Well I'll be sure to implement the punishment you don't like then."

I gasp at his allusion to withholding. "You wouldn't."

"Go on in there and act up and you'll see," he replies making me laugh loudly.

We walk hand in hand to the front door and before we can knock the door swings open revealing my family all dressed and ready to go.

"Oh, yall are here," Mama spurts, surprise on her face. "We were about to load into the cars so yall wouldn't have to wait."

In other words, she wanted to get my brothers in the car and out of arms reach until we were in public.

"I still have to get my stuff from upstairs ma. It'll only take a second," I reply sweetly, looking her in the eye so she can see my intent is good.

She nods once and steps aside. Everyone behind her does the same as we walk past them and straight up the stairs. My heart raced as we passed James but I have no intention of screwing up my sex schedule because of him – Harry's threat did the trick, idle or not.

Walking into my room I grab my suitcase from the closet and toss it onto the bed beside Harry. He's never been up here before so I can see he's soaking it all in. I waste no time piling my clothes in the luggage. I don't even bother folding anything.

The last thing I grab from the closet is my outfit for today. I had it set aside in case Harry and I got to go out while we were here but since we didn't I won't let the outfit go to waste.

Pulling the simple t-shirt and jeans that Lina brought me off I slip into the outfit. Harry's eyes never leave my body. Watching as I wiggle into the dark wash high waist jeans, grinning as I slip out of my bra and replace it with an olive green bralet, and finally standing as I step into my black suede heels. After smoothing down the fringe pieces on the front of my booties, I grab my black bomber jacket and toss my hair up into a ponytail.

"We're going to iHop right?" I ask Harry as he walks behind me carrying my luggage for me.

"Yes," he answers, trudging downstairs after me, "Unless you'd like to go somewhere else."

I shake my head no and slip my shades over my eyes. Venom comes walking over and I realize I hadn't said goodbye to her. She's been such a good dog over the years. The white around her mouth is more grey than anything but she's still as spirited as ever.

With a few pets of her head and a quick belly rub I send her off to her bed so we can leave without her running out the door. The house is empty aside from us and a feel a pang of sadness leaving again. I always miss home even when I'm not aware of it, even when it's crazy like these last few days have been.

On the ride to iHop I try and commit every good moment of the trip to memory. Lots of laughs and funny stories with my mom and sister, watching movies in bed with my parents, doing my nieces makeup, and watching Harry play with all of the kids – it's been a memorable trip. If nothing more it was a modest success.

I look over at Harry as he pulls into a parking spot. His sunglasses are on in an attempt to cover the black eye James gave him. He'll probably keep them on the whole time we're in here just in case it's not only old people here midweek and this early. I make the decision to keep mine on as well so he doesn't look like the odd one out. Maybe people will think we're hungover, that's better than the truth in my opinion.

As we're seated, Harry and I sit in a booth with Monique and Jordan. They insisted on sitting with us so they could hang with Uncle Harry. He loves it when they call him that, I can see it all over his face, so I didn't tell them to stop. While we eat I sit back and observe their interactions. They love hearing him talk because of his accent so they'll ask him the most random things. Monique asked him what he knew about whales while Jordan asked him if he could name all of the planets.

I'm so caught up in watching their little exchanges I almost miss James standing beside our booth. He taps me on the shoulder and nudges his head to the side – asking for a sidebar. He walks off before me and I feel Harry nudge my shoulder, urging me to follow him.

Sighing, I get up and walk to the entrance of the restaurant behind James. Lina catches my eye as I pass her and mouths "be nice". I don't know why it's my responsibility to be nice when people are being rude to me but whatever.

"Look," James starts, rubbing his hands together, "I'm sorry for the way I've been acting. MJ and I – we just...we want what's best for you. I don't know if that's him but you apparently do so... that's enough for me."

I'm shocked he apologized but even more stunned that he backed down from his position. He's probably the most headstrong out of all of us so for him to fall back on this is major. I'm still pissed he put his hands on Harry but I can begin to forgive him since he's asking for forgiveness.

"You have to trust that I can take care of myself James. I know what I'm doing," I reply firmly then open my arms for a hug, "I love you bro."

He hugs me, patting my back, "Love you too sis."

As we walk back in I can see Lina beaming, nearly jumping out of her seat. She hates it when we fight, always has.

"Everything ok?" Harry asks in a whisper when I sit beside him.

I nod my assurance and offer him a smile. Starting back on my pancakes my mind wanders, we as humans really have a way of looking at our family members in black and white rather than as multi-dimensional people. It's hard to look at their reasons when we see them as invincible, like nothing can affect them. Maybe it's just my own selfishness. My inability to see anyone else's problems but my own but for the first time I see my brother, really see him. He's made mistakes in his life and he just wants to keep me from doing the same. He's just a big brother trying to protect his little sister in the best way he knows how. We can demonize the people we love better than anyone else.

The time for Harry and I to board our flight draws nearer, and after a few pictures with staff members he lets me know it's time to go.

Hugs and kisses fly around the near empty restaurant. My mom tells Harry to make sure he comes back for Christmas and my dad adds in that he hopes we didn't scare him off. Harry laughs at that, stating he'd be back so they could finish Daredevil.

MJ shakes Harry's hand and apologizes for coming off rude, saying he just wanted to check him out and make sure he's a good fit for me. Harry grips his hand firmly and accepts his apology. James, although present as we're being sent off, isn't nearly as vocal. He and Harry make eye contact once we're in the car and James gives him a nod, to which Harry responds with the same.

I shake my head as we back out of the parking space muttering, "Men."

"It's a start," Harry smiles, putting the car in drive, "It's a start."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

What's up my good people!!!!

I hope yall enjoyed the chapter! YALLLL when I tell you this has been a TRYING few weeks. I failed one of my classes -_- so I'm kind of bummed about that but I was perked right up when I saw that Weightless has over 50 THOUSAND READS!! Like whaaat?? This is CRAZY! I hope to have the book finished by the end of the year yall! I'm really hoping yall liked the chapter!!

As always, the chapter is unedited so please forgive any mistakes!!

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This chapter...

A freaking lot happened lol That fight scene took some working and reworking so I hope it wasn't too much or too little

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